I'm bringing capes back into high fashion
Wish me luck. I figure if I just start wearing a long, luxurious cape in public people won't be able to help being turned on by the whole image I'll be portraying, namely one of a strong, young, confident male who really knows what he wants out of life. Plus, this should totally make shoplifting way easier since the tendency is for people to write those wearing capes off as being morbidly obese without even getting a good look at them. Everyone knows looking at fat people is an unpleasant experience at best. Another possibility is that the public will assume I'm retarded (I shouldn't have to work too hard to pull it off) in which case people may just give me free things since everyone knows the mentally challenged don't carry money around on account of the fact that they can't do simple arithmetic and will probably just get feces all over the money anyways. I think I'll throw on an old hockey helmet minus the visor for posterity. I'm starting to really feel like today's outfit is coming together nicely.
