There was an intruder in my house last night...
Yesterday was a busy day, I had an awsome W/O, two sessions of cardio, yard work and an "end of the school-year" party for my kids. ( Got four, ages 11,7,5 and 2.) Then I friggin stay on AR much longer than planned and end up getting to bed around midnight.
Anyway, around 3:30 am, I wake up about to piss all over myself. I always use the kids batroom down the hall so as not to wake my wife with my manly loud pissing and other bodily noises. As I'm walking down the hall in a fog, still mostly asleep, I glance up and realize I'm about three feet away from some dude and hes coming towards me. I knew it wasn't one of my kids because all I could really make out was his head and he was taller than me. I'm 6'-0", this guy looked about 6'3" or so. In a panic, I just fukin bull rush this guy and ram my head right into his chest and lock my arms behind him, and keep the leggs churnin, just like the old football days.
I got nothing but air! I friggin fall to the floor as hard as I've ever fell and I THOUGHT he kicked me in the head when I hit the ground! I realized I was in the kitchen by then (momentum) and jumped up and flicked on the light.
All I saw in the hall was a half-filled Songe-Bob helium balloon from the kids party! The **** thing had partially deflated but instead of falling to the ground, it was just floating in mid-air, and the air from the ceiling fan was blowing it around! This was my **** intruder!?
What I thought was a kick in the head was from me falling 90mph into the friggin bookcase! Today I got a Fred Flintstone like, golfball size knot on my head!
Of course, the wife wakes up just in time to laugh her ass off, and I was so jacked I couldn't get back to sleep.
Ah, the joys of having children around. :KO:
