I dont know what the hell to do. I broke up with the best thing that ever happened to me a few months ago. We were always off and on, but I never thought it would be permanent. When I called her to make up, she said she didnt want to be with me. I was such an asshole I dont blame her, but I really tried to change my life for her, I would do anything to get her back. We were so close to getting back together for what I thought would be for good, when one night we were chatting online and she brought up the topic of me cheating on her while we were together. Although I am an asshole, that is something I never did or would do. I was on some sleeping pills cause I had to get to bed early, and the rest is kinda a blur. I said and did some pretty ****ed up things, and it pretty much assured that we were done. A couple of my friends have talked to her, and she says that part of her wants to talk to me and part of her doesnt. I called her on her birthday last week and started to ask her how she was doing, then she told me she had another call and had to go. I wrote her an apology letter a couple days ago, cause it is killing me that I hurt her so badly. I told her that I was really sorry for whatever I did to hurt her and whatever, and I got no response. So I instant messaged her a few minutes ago and said that I am just trying to apologize and if she doesnt want anything to do with me at all to just say so, and she wouldnt respond to that. She just said that she was still mad at me. I explained that I had no idea what I did that night and I asked her to tell me, but she wouldnt. We were together for 2 years, and this really sucks to have it end like this. She wont say she doesnt want anything to do with me, but she also wont talk to me. We were so in love and i dont know what the **** to do. I just had to type it out i guess. F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK F*CK why am I sucha piece of sh*t a$$hole?!?!?!?!?!