Adultery A Sin Or ?

[FCECC2]

I don't believe in sin in the religious sense as I do not believe in religion....

But adultry in my book shows a lack of respect to the ones we love and very poor moral judgement.

Red

exactly, when theres lies theres no respects

[zOaib]

We as a culture are realizing the inherent superficiality of these customary/obligitory acts. We're leaving behind the "what will the neighbors think?" mentality and doing what is logical. My question to people is this: when a marriage has progressed to a point where two people no longer enjoy each other's company, why are they so compelled to "try and make it work"? I'm not referring to a weekend spat here....I mean the relationship isn't what it was....it's devoid of the very things that were its foundation. People change....that's a given. People are just becoming more cogniscent of this and realizing that just as you, yourself, change, so too can your situation.
I, all too often, hear, "we're a perfect match"......... Really? The odds of you finding your perfect match at age 19 in Cornstalk, Nebraska (population 135), despite a world population of over 6 billion isn't very good. A lifelong commitment to anything beyond breathing is fairly naive. The person you marry is not the same person in 5, 10, or 50 years, and neither are you. A real relationship is independent of social and cultural "norms"; you stay together because you want to, and you separate because it's best for both of you.

Marriage originated as an "ownership", not a union of "love". It's evolved into what we've convinced ourselves is a union of love, but what it really is is just a default custom....it's what we do. How dare you question it....of course it makes perfect sense

Really? Think about it

ITS INTERESTING after reading bouncer's and your comments , i mean thats whats true these days , but just for the SAY of it , how do u see about 3 to 4 generations into the future evolving to , if this is what is happening ......... also it devastates me to the thought of , MY DAUGHTER (god forbid) has multiple partners in sexual relationships , before she ever commits to getting married , and then again even if she ever does that commitment ........ i mean it just hurts me to see morality dying infornt of my eyes , maybe it the way i was raised up to believe were are a BIG NOTCH up the animal level , but really if one person started this trend to demoralise themsleves by indulging into adultery rather than their own married partners , and then from one to 2 to 3 and so forth millions doing it , does that become a social behaviour MEANING ......... its always starts from one person to do something wrong and then others pick it up , and by the time ages and centuries pass by , sociologists and phsychologists mark it as human nature but not as deviation from the RIGHT to the WRONG ............ and i am sure there is not one person here will tell me when they do somethign right and or wrong they dont feel it instinctively that what they did was good or bad .......... so it fitted into us like a programming instinct to determine good or bad ! ............. see i see this from a religious perspective i know there are most of u who have different views for religion but this is JUST ME ! there was a reason 1000 of years ago , prophetic people guided ppl to do good , for whose sake u ask ? well for ppls sake to guide them to morals , cause thats what differentiates us from animals basically .......... its mind boggling to me that if there wasnt a reasonf or existence , why would there be only TWO CHOICES , RIGHT OR WRONG , GOOD OR BAD , ............. why just two choices not three or four ..... just something to ponder upon ( interesting views in this thread keepo um comming ) !

[einstein1905]

ITS INTERESTING after reading bouncer's and your comments , i mean thats whats true these days , but just for the SAY of it , how do u see about 3 to 4 generations into the future evolving to , if this is what is happening ......... also it devastates me to the thought of , MY DAUGHTER (god forbid) has multiple partners in sexual relationships , before she ever commits to getting married , and then again even if she ever does that commitment ........ i mean it just hurts me to see morality dying infornt of my eyes , maybe it the way i was raised up to believe were are a BIG NOTCH up the animal level , but really if one person started this trend to demoralise themsleves by indulging into adultery rather than their own married partners , and then from one to 2 to 3 and so forth millions doing it , does that become a social behaviour MEANING ......... its always starts from one person to do something wrong and then others pick it up , and by the time ages and centuries pass by , sociologists and phsychologists mark it as human nature but not as deviation from the RIGHT to the WRONG ............ and i am sure there is not one person here will tell me when they do somethign right and or wrong they dont feel it instinctively that what they did was good or bad .......... so it fitted into us like a programming instinct to determine good or bad ! ............. see i see this from a religious perspective i know there are most of u who have different views for religion but this is JUST ME ! there was a reason 1000 of years ago , prophetic people guided ppl to do good , for whose sake u ask ? well for ppls sake to guide them to morals , cause thats what differentiates us from animals basically .......... its mind boggling to me that if there wasnt a reasonf or existence , why would there be only TWO CHOICES , RIGHT OR WRONG , GOOD OR BAD , ............. why just two choices not three or four ..... just something to ponder upon ( interesting views in this thread keepo um comming ) !

I know what you mean, but you seem to refer to the absence of marriage as the "wrong". It's my contention that marriage itself (its very origin) was the "wrong", and only now are we seeing that. Adultery only exists because marriage exists. I'm not saying that if two people are in a monogamous relationship at the time (a likely temporary condition, but possibly permanent), that "cheating" isn't wrong. What I'm saying is, that commiting to a life of monogamy is wrong....you can't foresee the future, but you can likely predict that you will change with time, as does everything. By having an understanding that two people will stay together until they no longer desire to do so, adultery becomes a nonissue. If one is so compelled to stray from their current relationship, then so be it, but it'll likely be at the expense of their current relationship.

there isn't just two options: right and wrong. However, that's what we're led to believe. Everything is relative, as is love itself (an immeasurable "emotion"). At what point does like become love? How do you measure that threshold? "I like you more than I like most other people, but...." Love is just a relative term that we throw around as if it has actual meaning....and people's lives are often crushed by such a meaningless word. Sex is a big part of a relationship. How can you expect your daughter (or anyone) to commit the rest of their life to someone without having experienced this aspect of interaction with at least one person. We try to portray ourselves as such complex "animals", but we're not. Our complexity lies in our ability to lie to ourselves (which lower creatures can't do) and deny that we have these instincts and just how important they are. Many "marriages" end because of sexual incompatability..

We've been passed down dogma that dates back 25-30 generations, so that we're at a point of just accepting that as "what is". marriage is just one of the examples of this. I'm not just referring to religion or asking that you deny your religious beliefs, but don't deny the practicality of your own instincts.....you know much more than you believe.

[Rak_Ani]

ALSO my question to u einstein is WHY IS THAT ? why are 2/3 marriages ending up in divorces !

Because it's more accepted nowdays.
Thinking that in strict religious societies like Muslims or Orthodox Jewish societies marriages are better because there is a lower percentage of divorce would be wrong. The fact they don't divorce doesn't mean they're happily married, but rather that they're not really allowed by the society they live in to divorce.
Many people get married for the wrong reasons. Whether it's comfort, money, religious tradition, etc. Many people don't know the difference between comfort and love, and between dependancy and love. Also many times people concentrate on what they're getting from their partner instead of what they're giving, and that creates trouble. That, plus the fact that people change all the time, brings to an end many relationships. Today divorce is more acceptable, and that's why the divorce rate is higher. That's my opinion, at least.

[zOaib]

RAK ANI & Einstein since we are narrowing down to i guess a point here , so to SAY ! okay lets just say marriage is something then we created to bond two ppl in union more like a law , so now if its something man created to show union of two legally or more like ownership of each other !

contemplating on your ideas i see marriage being abolished in the near future maybe 3 to 4 generations down the road ! .......... and if that does happen , YES people have more freedom to explore many other partners in life , and fulfill their extent desire of sex , if SEX is the main reason we have the demoralisation of the last thing we call MARRIAGE (i know u will say marraige is something we created but hear me out ) and also if i even agree to what u r saying about so to say my daughter has to experience her sexuality with atleast one person , BUT tell me where does it stop , are there gonna be any guidelines to what someone can do or not do , or does it keep goin on , and maybe we r forgetting the responsibilities that lie with this free sex concept ........... what about children that are born out these acts , u r not gonna tell me that ppl are all very understanding in using protection or birth control .......... wouldnt it be degradation of women n men altogether , BUT only if there are no guidelines , so what i wanna hear now is SOMEONE to elaborate , on guide lines , how will this be a controlled thing

since statistics alwasy show there has to be a controlling factor , otherwise its just chaos ?

[zOaib]

just an example of a scenario !

(fed ex guy comes to rign door bell)

fed ex guy : (dorr bell)

woman : opens door (looks at fed ex guy )

fed ex guy : hi how r u ? if u would sign this please

woman : (stares at the young guy , havent had sex in 2 weeks ) i dont ahve a pen , plz come in and ill sign it for u .

fed ex : (thinking she aint bad looking) walks in the house

woman: (lookign for a pen , bends over infront of him )

fed ex guy : (stares at her )

woman : (sees him in the mirror looking at her rear)

woman : (turns around and and comes up real close to him)

fed ex guy : err m'aam , i have to go can u sign this plz

woman : yeah sure just walk up to the room upstairs i know ihave a pen there

fed ex guy: goes up and BANG BANG BANG !

OK I KNOW THIS IS PROLLY U WOULD SEE IN A PORN FLICK , but the point here is if the free sex concept prevails , there will be no more good people showing the right way to be moral with a spouse , to set the standards for others to not digress from ! and if the one last sacrament like MARRIAGE is taken out of human lives IMO , that will be the end of any existing morality as we know it !

[SV-1]

I don't believe in sin, God or religion. I do think that cheating/adultery is wrong. If you want to screw someone else, break up first.

[zOaib]

I don't believe in sin, God or religion. I do think that cheating/adultery is wrong. If you want to screw someone else, break up first.

so where does that breaking up stop ?

[einstein1905]

RAK ANI & Einstein since we are narrowing down to i guess a point here , so to SAY ! okay lets just say marriage is something then we created to bond two ppl in union more like a law , so now if its something man created to show union of two legally or more like ownership of each other !

contemplating on your ideas i see marriage being abolished in the near future maybe 3 to 4 generations down the road ! .......... and if that does happen , YES people have more freedom to explore many other partners in life , and fulfill their extent desire of sex , if SEX is the main reason we have the demoralisation of the last thing we call MARRIAGE (i know u will say marraige is something we created but hear me out ) and also if i even agree to what u r saying about so to say my daughter has to experience her sexuality with atleast one person , BUT tell me where does it stop , are there gonna be any guidelines to what someone can do or not do , or does it keep goin on , and maybe we r forgetting the responsibilities that lie with this free sex concept ........... what about children that are born out these acts , u r not gonna tell me that ppl are all very understanding in using protection or birth control .......... wouldnt it be degradation of women n men altogether , BUT only if there are no guidelines , so what i wanna hear now is SOMEONE to elaborate , on guide lines , how will this be a controlled thing

since statistics alwasy show there has to be a controlling factor , otherwise its just chaos ?

I hopw you're not misunderstanding me. I'm in no position to say what's best or "right". I'm merely pointing out common misconceptions and delusions that we all too often ignore. I see the trend of capricious marriage continuing and the very same degree of capricious divorce following it.. By my saying that one should "experience" more than one person before making a lifelong commitment, you have to understand that I don't believe in the lifelong commitment itself, so this is just hypothetical. As crude an analogy as it may be, you don't test drive one car and buy it, and that's even a more trivial commitment than a mate. You bring up the point of children born out of this "experimentation". I'm not necessarily saying that this is "experimentation", but rather relationships themselves, although there could be random experimentation in there too. I'm not advocating a free-for-all. I'm just pointing out the inherent weakness/impracticality of a lifelong commitment to one individual. The general population is too irresponsible for me to try to outline any "guidelines", but it's guidelines that I'm against. However, this brings me back to the general irresponsibility of people, so they need guidelines. Guidelines (government) was created to govern those that can't govern themselves. As arrogant as it may sound, I feel I'm above laws, rules, and guidelines. There are no laws, rules or guidelines that are applicable to all. I trust my own reasoning to determine what's best in each situation. Just as people try to establish codes of ethics or "moral codes"....this is futile. Ethics and morality are contingent upon the situation at hand.

It's very difficult to separate pure, rational thought from that which we were taught or brought up to believe. I'm not saying that they're incompatible, but what I am saying is that all too often we take the default path and just follow the pack.

Back to the handshakes, which is supposed to convey respect to some degree, but itself is just a superficial gesture. You can shake someone's hand without any meaning, or you can do it and convey respect. You can also convey respect without the superficial goofy gesture of a handshake. The handshake itself is meaningless. As in marriage, IT, is the superficial gesture. it can either have meaning or not, but the values that are supposed to be what marriage stands for can be present without the superficial gesture itself, marriage. It's an obsolete custom, as is shown by the high rate of divorce. It means that 2/3 of the people that commited to lifelong relationships didn't mean it, and likely there are many more that have customary beliefs that it's wrong to divorce, or they too would separate and increase that %

[einstein1905]

just an example of a scenario !

(fed ex guy comes to rign door bell)

fed ex guy : (dorr bell)

woman : opens door (looks at fed ex guy )

fed ex guy : hi how r u ? if u would sign this please

woman : (stares at the young guy , havent had sex in 2 weeks ) i dont ahve a pen , plz come in and ill sign it for u .

fed ex : (thinking she aint bad looking) walks in the house

woman: (lookign for a pen , bends over infront of him )

fed ex guy : (stares at her )

woman : (sees him in the mirror looking at her rear)

woman : (turns around and and comes up real close to him)

fed ex guy : err m'aam , i have to go can u sign this plz

woman : yeah sure just walk up to the room upstairs i know ihave a pen there

fed ex guy: goes up and BANG BANG BANG !

OK I KNOW THIS IS PROLLY U WOULD SEE IN A PORN FLICK , but the point here is if the free sex concept prevails , there will be no more good people showing the right way to be moral with a spouse , to set the standards for others to not digress from ! and if the one last sacrament like MARRIAGE is taken out of human lives IMO , that will be the end of any existing morality as we know it !

There's where all the discrepancy lies. Not everyone agrees on what the "right" way is. There is no concensus on morality, nor will there ever be.

[zOaib]

its sad but true ......... i guess it all comes down to individuals who seek to make a better life and then their will be those who just lust !

[LORDBLiTZ]

It's a SIN

[SV-1]

i guess it all comes down to individuals who seek to make a better life and then their will be those who just lust !

Those two things aren't nessisarily mutually exclusive.

[zOaib]

It's a SIN

go canadians ............. woooooooot !

[larry3436]

i believe cheating in wrong...i believe in god , and if you believe in god..he says its wrong.

I think 95% of people dont even have a clue what thier religion teaches.

But hey im a weak man

[zOaib]

i believe cheating in wrong...i believe in god , and if you believe in god..he says its wrong.

I think 95% of people dont even have a clue what thier religion teaches.

But hey im a weak man

honesty is most appreciable ............... wooooooooooot ! again