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Thread: Ouch!!

  1. #1
    Billy Boy's Avatar
    Billy Boy is offline Retired Moderator
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    Unhappy Ouch!!

    Ok guys before you read these get some tissues ready - painful is the only way you can explain it.

    DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE FEELING *IN ANY WAY* QUEASY!!!

    ******************
    When a 40-year old man turned up at a hospital asking to see a doctor
    specialising in men's troubles, he was shown into a cubicle. There he
    gingerly unwrapped three yards of foul smelling stained gauze from around
    his scrotum, which had swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit.

    On further inspection, it was discovered that his left testicle was missing
    completely, and, embedded within the swollen, tender and weeping wound, were
    a number of dark objects which the patient confessed were one inch staple
    nails from an industrial staple gun.

    It transpired that the man spent his lunch times alone in his workshop,
    where he regularly enjoyed the sexual thrill of placing his penis on the
    moving canvas fan-belt of a piece of machinery. One day, the excitement had
    caused him to lose his concentration, and the fan-belt had snatched his
    scrotum into the fly-wheel, throwing him several feet across the floor and
    tearing off his left nut.

    Rather than go to the hospital, he performed first-aid on himself with the
    stapling gun, then went back to work when his colleagues returned.

    It was two weeks before he got around to visiting the hospital.
    ******************
    A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and with blood dripping
    down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw he had a geranium
    inserted in his penis.

    The man had got the flower in without any difficulty, but when he tried to
    remove it, the hairs on the stem of the flower had dug into the urethra and
    ripped it to shreds.

    ******************
    A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a night shift to his wife
    preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, he wrapped a slice of bread
    around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and took a bite out of it.


    The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the damage.
    ******************
    A 34-year old New Yorker injected a cocaine solution into his penis to
    heighten his sexual pleasure. After enjoying intercourse with his girlfriend
    on not one but two occasions he noticed that his erection was still at its
    full glory. Having struggled to sleep through

    the night he woke up to find his boner still standing proud, and, due to him
    worrying about the police finding out about his possession and indeed the
    use of an illegal substance he decided against visiting his doctor.

    However after three days of enduring headaches and nausea caused by the
    constant trouser swelling, he went to the hospital in search of help.

    He was admitted immediately and referred to a specialist who diagnosed lack
    of oxygen to vital bloodstreams in his body as the cause of his sickness.

    He was given numerous drugs and antibiotics to combat the swelling, but
    shortly afterwards, developed blood clots in various parts of his body and
    gangrene set in.

    As a result he lost both legs, nine fingers and his penis.
    *******************
    (You may want to grit your teeth before you read this !! This is *really*
    gruesome...)
    When Alan was studying in Ireland, he took up rugby.
    As his first season wore on, the lads and him were eventually scheduled to
    play a team which had a reputation for violent play. Considering that they
    weren't the most talented outfit to have ever taken the field, they decided
    to accept the challenge with a "do or die" attitude , hoping things would
    eventually swing their way.

    They didn't and to make matters worse their star player dislocated his hip
    after a particularly ferocious tackle. He was clearly in a lot of pain, so
    they all stood back to allow the medic to, in one swift movement, slot the
    hip back into its socket. Then Alan began a long blood curdling scream.

    To their horror, they realised that one of his testicles had also been
    jammed into the socket and was now firmly held in the place by the hip.

    Incidentally, Alan managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming.

    How ya feeling now??

    Billy

  2. #2
    dane26's Avatar
    dane26 is offline Retired Moderator
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    oh man billy, that's nasty. i don't know where you got those stories, but that is some sick shit

  3. #3
    Pete235's Avatar
    Pete235 is offline Retired Moderator
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    Ugghhh.....I think I'm gonna be sick!!!

  4. #4
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    holy fuck!!!!!!

    i think i'm going to go throw up now.don't do that again!haha.wow

  5. #5
    Mike Guest
    hold fuck........some how you have managed to give me more pain in my groin than i have ever experienced - I have my legs crossed like a woman right now......damn that was sick....

  6. #6
    Full Intensity's Avatar
    Full Intensity is offline Anabolic Member
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    I don't know what to say know, except that is sick shit!

  7. #7
    Billy Boy's Avatar
    Billy Boy is offline Retired Moderator
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    Hey I did warn you guys!! Just get sent this stuff by my mates and hell knows where they get it from!!

    Just thought I would share it with you so when me moan about a little bit of soreness after training we can sit back and laugh about these!!

    Billy

  8. #8
    SPEEDY is offline Junior Member
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    How sick and diabolic am I.....I laughed at a few of them while everyone else was crossing their legs like women. The one with the hip socket was special......My friend works at an ER and he told a story about this guy that would get off by fucking bottles...One day he was jerking off (or whatever you'd call it) and it got stuck inside, and it wouldn't go down because the blood got trapped, then he hit the bottle against a wall to break it, and it ended up slicing him..How's that?

  9. #9
    RuhlFreak55's Avatar
    RuhlFreak55 is offline Purveyor of Thor's Hammer
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    jesus........those are bad......bumpage for more reads

  10. #10
    Hunter's Avatar
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    that is pretty damn nasty.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuhlFreak55
    jesus........those are bad......bumpage for more reads
    what the hell were you looking up, to find these posts from 2001.

  12. #12
    RuhlFreak55's Avatar
    RuhlFreak55 is offline Purveyor of Thor's Hammer
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    i just go to the last page in the lounge and pick one interesting

  13. #13
    perfectbeast2001's Avatar
    perfectbeast2001 is offline "king of free stuff" / Retired
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    hey Ruhl are you going for record number of old ass threads bumped in a day or something?

  14. #14
    RuhlFreak55's Avatar
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    no....i've only bumped two....

  15. #15
    Superhuman's Avatar
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    oh man I'm eating my eggs right now...

  16. #16
    Carlos_E's Avatar
    Carlos_E is offline National Level Bodybuilder/Hall of Famer/RETIRED
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuhlFreak55
    no....i've only bumped two....
    Don't bump anymore.

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