06-21-2004, 08:59 PM #1
Is this what it's like to be married?
Got this off another board, but I just had to share it with you whores
This was written by a friend.....................................
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and
not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her butt.
06-21-2004, 09:00 PM #2AR Hall of Fame
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
Saw that @ my board a few days ago...........funny stuff!
06-21-2004, 09:06 PM #3
Story reminded me of my ex so much...
Buying gifts equaled all the pussy I could handle
But that **** gets old quick cus if i gotta pay for
pussy then i want to sample more then just one...
06-21-2004, 09:08 PM #4
06-21-2004, 10:31 PM #5
Why cant women stop watching Lifetime and reality TV? Every d@mn one wants a prince charming perfect guy, but they cant have em cuz no one will every be perfect. Why cant chicks just settle for us oversized dudes so all the future kids will be huge too?
06-21-2004, 10:47 PM #6Originally Posted by NIU ROTC
06-21-2004, 10:51 PM #7
06-21-2004, 10:55 PM #8
haha hilarious read... i loved the "No honey... i dont feel like it" hahaha
06-21-2004, 10:56 PM #9
Funny, funny but true, funny sad but true....
06-22-2004, 09:47 AM #10Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2003
06-22-2004, 09:48 AM #11
aint they all just a bunch of cun**
06-22-2004, 09:52 AM #12AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
- Join Date
- Aug 2001
- Wherever necessary
THAT is classic!
06-22-2004, 10:28 AM #13
diddnt even see the end comming!
06-22-2004, 10:51 AM #14
Diddo my Brotha.Originally Posted by buff87
06-22-2004, 10:55 AM #15
that is some funny asss ****
06-22-2004, 11:00 AM #16
that was some funny **** lol
06-22-2004, 05:21 PM #17
haaaa haaa haaaa- serves the biatch right!!
06-22-2004, 06:34 PM #18
lololol....i literally laughed out loud when i read that. I admire that guys intelligence. As i was reading it i thought he was buying all that to get some that night. But i perfer that comical ending!!
06-22-2004, 07:16 PM #19Originally Posted by TheMudMan
The answer to your every question
A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted
to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially
one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.
If you get scammed by an UGL listed on this board or by another member here, it's all part of the game and learning experience for you,
we do not approve nor support any sources that may be listed on this site.
I will not do source checks for you, the peer review from other members should be enough to help you make a decision on your quest. Buyer beware.
Why the Police will Kick your ass
06-22-2004, 08:52 PM #20Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2003
thats awesome bro,..funny sh it.
06-22-2004, 09:29 PM #21
Id love to be able to jab a sex withholding girl like that.
06-23-2004, 02:21 AM #22
06-24-2004, 10:50 PM #23
I'd kill just to be in line watching her approaching the counter and him telling her that.. that was the funniest thing I've heard in a long time
06-24-2004, 10:51 PM #24
apparently being married sucks....well at least that is what other guys wives are telling me......you know the story!!
06-25-2004, 04:38 AM #25
Funny stuff. I will have to copy that story and give it to my wife.....lol
06-25-2004, 08:11 AM #26
LOLOLOL!!!!!!!! good stuff!
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