Anabolics
Search More Than 6,000,000 Posts
Results 1 to 27 of 27
  1. #1
    LM1332 Guest

    Quick Joke of the Week

    A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?" she replies and walks away.

    He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again. "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?"

    So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts... just once for $10,000?" So the woman thinks about this for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000?" She thinks a bit "OK, but just once, and not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

    So they go to the alley and she takes off... her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as the guy sees them, he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them... but not biting them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you gonna bite them or what?" "Nah," he replies. "Costs too much!"

  2. #2
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    25,778
    Lmfao!!!!!

    That's like one of the breast jokes I've heard in a while!


    ~sc~

  3. #3
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,917
    That was good bro....

    Here's one too:

    A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was taking pee and this bullet came out." replies the daughter.
    The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out."
    Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out."
    "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog."

  4. #4
    sammyjoe is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    12
    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Lmfao!!!!!

    That's like one of the breast jokes I've heard in a while!


    ~sc~
    who do i make my pray cloth out to?? swole jesus or swole jebus??

  5. #5
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,917
    Another....


    A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she is his for the night. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying it is from the gentleman at a nearby table. She looks at the the man,
    then at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."
    The man, after reading this note, sends another note to her. It read: "Just so you will know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes 560SEL in my garage, plus I have over twenty-million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off my dick. Just send the wine back."

  6. #6
    LM1332 Guest
    Hahah that was good

    Quote Originally Posted by Blown_SC
    That was good bro....

    Here's one too:

    A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was taking pee and this bullet came out." replies the daughter.
    The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out."
    Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out."
    "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog."

  7. #7
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,917
    Last one...


    One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help her get the thorn out.
    The ant asked, "What do I get in return?"
    The elephant replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you."
    So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out he looks up at the elephant and says "Here I come!".
    The elephant thinks, "Let's just get this over with..." The ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead drops a coconut on the elephant's head.
    "Ouch!" screams the elephant... the ant says, "Yeah, take it all b!tch!"

  8. #8
    bulldawg_28's Avatar
    bulldawg_28 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Do yoga not steroids!!!
    Posts
    1,439
    Heres one,

    Bacon and eggs walk into a bar, the bartender says sorry we don't serve breakfast.

  9. #9
    kandyman is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by bulldawg_28
    Heres one,

    Bacon and eggs walk into a bar, the bartender says sorry we don't serve breakfast.
    booooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! im having swole jesus "unbless" you

  10. #10
    bulldawg_28's Avatar
    bulldawg_28 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Do yoga not steroids!!!
    Posts
    1,439
    ****, I thought it was funny.

  11. #11
    Soldier of Misfortune's Avatar
    Soldier of Misfortune is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,459
    A hott chick wearing a mini skirt and tube top is playin a round of golf one day and runs into the club house screaming to the manager that she was stung by a bee and doesnt know how to fix it. The manager calmly asks where this happend and she replies, "between the first and second holes." The manager says, "well thats easy, your stance is too wide."

  12. #12
    ttuPrincess Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Blown_SC
    Last one...


    One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help her get the thorn out.
    The ant asked, "What do I get in return?"
    The elephant replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you."
    So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out he looks up at the elephant and says "Here I come!".
    The elephant thinks, "Let's just get this over with..." The ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead drops a coconut on the elephant's head.
    "Ouch!" screams the elephant... the ant says, "Yeah, take it all b!tch!"
    that one was on Alley McBiel a long time ago.. and I still laugh to this day!

  13. #13
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,917
    Quote Originally Posted by ttuPrincess
    that one was on Alley McBiel a long time ago.. and I still laugh to this day!
    Yeah? For some reason I must have missed that episode

  14. #14
    Krunchtime's Avatar
    Krunchtime is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    A bridge down by da river
    Posts
    1,546
    Quote Originally Posted by LM1332
    A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?" she replies and walks away.

    He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again. "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?"

    So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts... just once for $10,000?" So the woman thinks about this for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000?" She thinks a bit "OK, but just once, and not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

    So they go to the alley and she takes off... her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as the guy sees them, he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them... but not biting them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you gonna bite them or what?" "Nah," he replies. "Costs too much!"
    LMAOOOO!!!!!!!!! IF sigs were still here I would put that joke in it.

  15. #15
    dannyisaacs is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    south africa
    Posts
    520
    those jokes are good lol

  16. #16
    jkddave is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    88

    Another good one for you guys!

    This beautiful woman is walking down the street, heading home late one night after work. As she walks by a dimly lit alley, a man with a gun jumps out and says, "Get down this alley now, B*tch!"
    Frightened to death, she does as the man asks and she walks down the alley. As they approach a street light the man yells for her to stop and turn around. She turns around and faces the man. He tells her to take off her shirt and bra. She begs and pleads for him not to do this but he points the gun in her face and says he will kill her if she doesn't do it. So she takes her shirt and bra off and he begins to lick and fondle her breasts. He suddenly stops and tells her to take off her pants and underwear. She begs and pleads for him not to do this but again he points the guns in her face and says he will kill her if she doesn't do it. She again refuses his request. He points the gun at the sky and pulls the trigger. !!BANG!! Then he says the next one will be in her head if she doesn't take off her pants and underwear. She slowly starts to take off her pants and the man yells for her to hurry up. She then begins to slowly take off her underwear and again the impatient man points the gun at her and tells her to hurry up. She gets completely naked and the man tells her to spread her legs. She does what she is told and the man sees maggots and bugs crawling and dripping puss all over her p*ssy. So shocked and grossed out the man stumbles backwards and he drops his gun. The woman quickly picks up the gun and points it at his face and says, "NOW EAT MY P*SSY, *SSHOLE!"

  17. #17
    Jack87's Avatar
    Jack87 is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    6,148
    LMAO!!!

    Good one bro...

  18. #18
    jkddave is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    88

    ttt

    back ttt

  19. #19
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    25,778
    Quote Originally Posted by NIU ROTC
    A hott chick wearing a mini skirt and tube top is playin a round of golf one day and runs into the club house screaming to the manager that she was stung by a bee and doesnt know how to fix it. The manager calmly asks where this happend and she replies, "between the first and second holes." The manager says, "well thats easy, your stance is too wide."
    Now that's funny!

    ~SC~

  20. #20
    ttuPrincess Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by jkddave
    back ttt
    Im not sure what that meant

  21. #21
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    25,778
    Quote Originally Posted by ttuPrincess
    Im not sure what that meant
    Back to the top.......

    AKA post whoring.

    ~SC~

  22. #22
    ttuPrincess Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Back to the top.......

    AKA post whoring.

    ~SC~
    you??? NEVER!!!!!!










    whore

  23. #23
    Elliot's Avatar
    Elliot is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    4,353
    Quote Originally Posted by jkddave
    This beautiful woman is walking down the street, heading home late one night after work. As she walks by a dimly lit alley, a man with a gun jumps out and says, "Get down this alley now, B*tch!"
    Frightened to death, she does as the man asks and she walks down the alley. As they approach a street light the man yells for her to stop and turn around. She turns around and faces the man. He tells her to take off her shirt and bra. She begs and pleads for him not to do this but he points the gun in her face and says he will kill her if she doesn't do it. So she takes her shirt and bra off and he begins to lick and fondle her breasts. He suddenly stops and tells her to take off her pants and underwear. She begs and pleads for him not to do this but again he points the guns in her face and says he will kill her if she doesn't do it. She again refuses his request. He points the gun at the sky and pulls the trigger. !!BANG!! Then he says the next one will be in her head if she doesn't take off her pants and underwear. She slowly starts to take off her pants and the man yells for her to hurry up. She then begins to slowly take off her underwear and again the impatient man points the gun at her and tells her to hurry up. She gets completely naked and the man tells her to spread her legs. She does what she is told and the man sees maggots and bugs crawling and dripping puss all over her p*ssy. So shocked and grossed out the man stumbles backwards and he drops his gun. The woman quickly picks up the gun and points it at his face and says, "NOW EAT MY P*SSY, *SSHOLE!"

    and there goes my breakfest..

  24. #24
    Beernutz's Avatar
    Beernutz is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    829
    Lmao at all those jokes...You guys are too much. all those jokes are kickass and ill be sure to tell my buddies..

  25. #25
    LM1332 Guest
    This should be a every friday of the week activity. We should all post our jokes on the Quick Joke of the Week Thread (Friday)

  26. #26
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,917
    Quote Originally Posted by LM1332
    This should be a every friday of the week activity. We should all post our jokes on the Quick Joke of the Week Thread (Friday)
    Fuk bro...we should make a sticky, and ppl can just check it out when they're bored, or down....could prevent some of the shyt we've had around here lately

  27. #27
    LM1332 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Blown_SC
    Fuk bro...we should make a sticky, and ppl can just check it out when they're bored, or down....could prevent some of the shyt we've had around here lately
    Totaly makes sence. Would be a smart thing to do. umm Cycleon

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •