Republican Convention Agenda Announced...
One of the guys I work with sent me this
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
Agenda Day #1
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute
to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak Made Easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on Our nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piņata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft, Evolutionists: The Dangerous
New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord
Mark
Democrat Natil convention
Socialist Communist aka Democratic Party Convention Schedule
Agenda Day #1
6:00 PM Abortion of 8 month old fetus
6:30 PM reading of the communist manifesto
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights BY THE ACLU
6:45 PM Bong hit ceremony
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a one way ticket to Canada in case of drafting
7:30 PM Second bong hit ceremony
7:35 PM Serve hash brownies
7:40 PM Greenpeace Address #1 Tree hugging 101
8:00 PM Vote on which countrys ass you want to kiss most
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Michael Morre (chiken bone stuck in throat)
8:15 PM Oprah Winfrey: It's okay that your children are homos
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (women only) discussion of abortion possibilities and advancements: How to murder a Baby
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Morality, We Don't Give a ****.
9:00 PM Barbara Streisand sings Give Peace a Chance (excluding fetuses)
9:05 PM Series of bong hits.
9:10 PM Seminar Greenpeace: Trees are people too!
9:30 PM Break for orgy or swinging party whichever "makes you feel good"
10:00 PM Prayer to Mother Earth , God Who?
10:15 PM Lecture by John Kerry ; waffling on any issue made easy.
10:30 PM Take nap or watch TV , too stoned.
10:35 PM Nap continued.
10:40 PM Jenna Jameson: How to pull a train and stay respectable in the mainstream media.
10:45 PM Al Sharpton touts plan to sue for racism (not sure who or where though)
10:46 PM Free the whales seminar
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education:Getting rid of the national debt: Tax everything and everyone, twice.
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton, staying cool in the face of a serial adulterer husband
11:20 PM Can't remember too stoned
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Michael Moore again, whole hog leg stuck in throat
11:35 PM Praise the Clintons for Whitwater, adultry, perjury and all other unscrupulous behavior
11:50 PM Pagan sacrifice of virgin.
12:00 PM Nomination of John Kerry as ruler of the new Socialist Communist Party.
:elephant:
