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  1. #1
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Another Funny A$$ Gym Story!!!

    Heres the skinny on the new guys at the gym

    As i walk in i notice 2 buff a$$ dudes about 5'10' pushing 125 pounds, and the third guy about 5'5'' pushing about 280 pounds...girls were fighting over who got to use the tread mill infront of them so they could smell the ciggeretts and B.O. raving from their bodies....

    anyways, after i fight through the crowd of screaming hot women i got on my treadmill to do a little cardio for warmup and these guys were doing this new badd ass workout!!!...i mean this is one that seperates the men from the boys..

    The skinny guys were on an assisted dip/pull up machine and had the weight set on 200 pounds (so it would subtract 200 pounds from their body weight) and they were doing reverse dips...they were pulling themselves down toward the floor in a rapid manner for about 15 reps then the would let go and explode to the top and use the lat pull bar to push them selves down like doing shoulder presses. FUKKIN HILARIOUS!

    Then the fat guy got on and he couldnt do it...he was to heavy so he was actually doing them the right way...pushing himself up for dips, and pulling himself up for the "shoulder press"...so he got off with this "WTF look" and tried to fix it, but couldnt figure out why his twig like freinds were better than him at this exercise stuff?

    After they finished their the proceded to a standing shrug/DL machine to do these funky back rows with 5 pounders on each side...killer movements...had em screaming like little school girls!...

    ok, theres plenty more, but ill stop their
    Last edited by ColdStone; 03-25-2004 at 12:07 PM.

  2. #2
    allsaucedup's Avatar
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    no keep going funny a$$ $hit.

  3. #3
    Carlos_E's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColdStone
    Heres the skinny on the new guys at the gym

    As i walk in i notice 2 buff a$$ dudes about 5'10' pushing 125 pounds, and the third guy about 5'5'' pushing about 280 pounds...girls were fighting over who got to use the tread mill infront of them so they could smell the ciggeretts and B.O. raving from their bodies....

    anyways, after i fight through the crowd of screaming hot women i got on my treadmill to do a little cardio for warmup and these guys were doing this new badd ass workout!!!...i mean this is one that seperates the men from the boys..

    The skinny guys were on an assisted dip/pull up machine and had the weight set on 200 pounds (so it would subtract 200 pounds from their body weight) and they were doing reverse dips...they were pulling themselves down toward the floor in a rapid manner for about 15 reps then the would let go and explode to the top and use the lat pull bar to push them selves down like doing shoulder presses. FUKKIN HILARIOUS!

    Then the fat guy got on and he couldnt do it...he was to heavy so he was actually doing them the right way...pushing himself up for dips, and pulling himself up for the "shoulder press"...so he got off with this "WTF look" and tried to fix it, but couldnt figure out why his twig like freinds were better than him at this exercise stuff?

    After they finished their the proceded to a standing shrug/DL machine to do these funky back rows with 5 pounders on each side...killer movements...had em screaming like little school girls!...

    ok, theres plenty more, but ill stop their
    Spell check is your friend.

  4. #4
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allsaucedup
    no keep going funny a$$ $hit.
    ok...

    so after they finished the "upper back rows"..they proceded to the smith machine for some squats...the fat guy took the challange first with a whopping 25 pounds on each side...

    suprisingly he had some what good form... ...if you squat like you do good mornings...haha...so when he got out they conversed and blamed it on his bad knee...

    Then the skinny guy in an allen iverson jearsy took a shot...hes form was much better!!!..he kept his back straight and dropped his ass about 5 inches, then exploded to the top, and even threw in a calf raise at the top of the movement. After he was done they all rallyed togather and blamed his form on his denim "ghetto" shorts that were hanging off his ass...it must have restricted his form...

    Next the other skinny guy wearing the infamous "wife beater" stepped into the rack....he had an idea to do the similar squat as skinny guy #1, but instead of a calf press at the top, he was going to attempt a behind the neck military press....down he went about a foot from being parallel, and exploded up, gave the bar a good hard press and he got it up about 2 inches above his head and couldnt go any farther...he was stuck so he lowered the bar on TOP of his head and rested it their until his buddys could help him lower it down to rack it...

    Want more???
    Last edited by ColdStone; 03-25-2004 at 12:21 PM.

  5. #5
    daman1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    Spell check is your friend.
    bwhahaha

  6. #6
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos_E
    Spell check is your friend.
    ahhh...i dont worry about gramatic errors...it hurts my head to much!

  7. #7
    alevok Guest
    yes, keep it coming

  8. #8
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alevok
    yes, keep it coming
    so then they moved over to the dumbell rack...

    here they got the idea from the leader "skinny guy in the beater" to do some combined movements once again...

    the leader steped up an grabed a 10 pound DB in each hand and did this funky ass combo of bicep curls, and clean and jerk....he would let his arms hang to his side, then slowly bend his knees down and explode up doing a curl and press above his head...he raved about his wicked pump he got in his 12 inch arms, and his peanut sized shoulders...

    skinny guy #2 (jearsy) stepped up but he thought he was good enought to go to 20's, and he grabbed em with confidence....droped down a little then exploded up and got his first rep just fine...but the next one got a little harder, then the third was real tough, and on his fourth rep his left arm collapsed on him and he threw the weight to the ground only missing the 6' 240lb ripped guy doing flyes next to them by 6 inches or so...

    after the close call with the "juice monkey" the fat guy thought he better move further down the rack to the 5 pounders...so he repped out an unbelivable 12 reps and racked em...seconds after this little 18 y.o. 90 pound girl walked up and took em from him, so the skinny guy sgave the fat guy hell for about 5 minutes untill they went on to the next set.

    theres more...

  9. #9
    BajanBastard is offline VET Retired
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    Lol More More!!

  10. #10
    allsaucedup's Avatar
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    keep it coming bro

  11. #11
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by big k.l.g
    Lol More More!!
    ok...and lastly they had to do some ab work to keep that sixer they were packin

    so they went to a slanted ab bench to get in some sit-ups....so guess who was first...yep the leader....he got up their and slammed back till hs back hit the pad then jerked back up while throwing his arms forward to assist him...after about 10 he was toast...

    next was skinny guy #2...he had the same idea, go down real fast and bounce back up...but he wanted to throw in some more arm work so he slammed down on the pad and exploded up for about 5 reps, then he threw in the arm work and he began to grab the back of his knees and pull him self to the top for another 5 or 6 reps....

    NEXT....fatty rolls into the bench and gets his legs locked in and slowly lowers down with his hands behind his head (somewhat good form)...but he hit the bottom and didnt move....so they got the idea to "spot" him in his sad sad attempt at ab work, and they stood behind him and when he lowered down about half way they would step into him and push him back up to the top....OMG...this was fukking hilarious...

    got one more...wanna hear it?

  12. #12
    BajanBastard is offline VET Retired
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    fukk yeah i do....this **** is givin me a kick ass ab workout

  13. #13
    Sorken's Avatar
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    ...lol...

  14. #14
    allsaucedup's Avatar
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    give me the story

  15. #15
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    This is good........

  16. #16
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    bro... are you for real!?! I'm dying over here... funny stuff!

  17. #17
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    I saw this once on a three stooges episode.

  18. #18
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    **** coldstone, do you lift at the gym or the improv. how the hell do you get a good workout in when these retards are in there making you laugh. these people make our gym experiences better. i love watching these types of morons lift.

  19. #19
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allsaucedup
    give me the story
    ok... so then they moved to the treadmills to do a "cool down"...all three lined up in a row...

    They started out with a brisk walk at a fast 3mph...then the skinny guys begin to speed up into a jog...in the mean time the fatty was controling the remote for the tv in front of them...but as he flipped through one channel that skinny guy #2 wanted to watch he kept going through the channels, and the skinny guy in a mid-jog reach over to hit him in the arm, but he forgot to keep running...

    so the belt kept going, and he wasnt, so he was flung backwards a good ways untill he remembered that he needed to keep running....so instead of trying to run and catch up with the revolving belt he just jumped off the treadmill while it ws still going....

    He was in a dilema now...how was he going to get back on???...he could have simply turned it off, got back on and started over, but that would have been too easy so the leader told him to step back a few feet and get a head of steam and jump on and run real fast...

    he listened...he steped back and took off, when he jumped on his weight landed some way that caused him to loose his balance and he grabbed onto the rail to keep from failing off and his feet slid backwards as he struggled to get them back up...

    Finally he got his feet on the sides of the treadmill, and turned it off, and just started over....i was very disapointed that something tragic didnt happen

    The real funny part is they did all of this damage during my 20minute warm up on the treadmill and a kind of stood in the corner and stretched to watch the ab work and treadmill incident...
    Last edited by ColdStone; 03-25-2004 at 01:15 PM.

  20. #20
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ripped4fsu
    bro... are you for real!?! I'm dying over here... funny stuff!
    yes i swear to god this is real...i watched them for like 30 minutes before i began to workout...they were very entertaining

  21. #21
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    Angry

    Dude my test levels would have kicked in and I would have had to go home and come back later. or could have walked outside "smoke one" and then went back in and laughed at em the whole time. Whats up with carlos always busting up on everyone for spelling. This was a good thread till I read his negative reply.

  22. #22
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hercules88
    **** coldstone, do you lift at the gym or the improv. how the hell do you get a good workout in when these retards are in there making you laugh. these people make our gym experiences better. i love watching these types of morons lift.
    haha i lift at golds...i go in the middle of the day so i ussually avoid alot of these idiots b/c of school...but they caught up to me this day

  23. #23
    BajanBastard is offline VET Retired
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    this is very funny stuff......thanks coldstone!

  24. #24
    stack-a-licious is offline Associate Member
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    NEXT....fatty rolls into the bench and gets his legs locked in and slowly lowers down with his hands behind his head (somewhat good form)...but he hit the bottom and didnt move....so they got the idea to "spot" him in his sad sad attempt at ab work, and they stood behind him and when he lowered down about half way they would step into him and push him back up to the top....OMG...this was fukking hilarious...



    this is about the funniest thing i have heard all year.....

  25. #25
    ttuPrincess Guest
    Cold.. what do you expect????? You live in the middle of nowhere Texas.. The only people from here that even know how to lift/exercise/anything are from AR...

    Just be glad you don't workout at the Rec!

    HBP

  26. #26
    Testsubject's Avatar
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    LMAO, funny stuff man, I always get a kick out of 'kids' like that at my gym, they put on a good show sometimes.

  27. #27
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    haha u gotta video tape that type of ****

  28. #28
    El Diablo is offline Banned
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    omg thats fukking hilarious! Wait...How old were these guys? 14, 15???

  29. #29
    Butch is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColdStone

    NEXT....fatty rolls into the bench and gets his legs locked in and slowly lowers down with his hands behind his head (somewhat good form)...but he hit the bottom and didnt move....so they got the idea to "spot" him in his sad sad attempt at ab work, and they stood behind him and when he lowered down about half way they would step into him and push him back up to the top....OMG...this was fukking hilarious...

    got one more...wanna hear it?
    Dude this part killed me....I could see two skinnies trying to help the heffer....I have to hear more...your analysis is killing me!

  30. #30
    damiongage's Avatar
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    now that is funny

  31. #31
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Im glad you all enjoyed it...but after the skinny guy had a fight with the treadmill they shipped out...

    i think between the "juice monkey", treadmill, and the ab work they were all ready to get the hel out

  32. #32
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    bump...just read something that reminded me of this day....lol

  33. #33
    TPAK's Avatar
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    Stories like this make me wish that I didn't workout at home. I could use a laugh like this from time to time.

  34. #34
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    Bro this is funny ass shyt

  35. #35
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    you spell hell with two l's

  36. #36
    ColdSore's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trailrider38
    you spell hell with two l's
    yes sir mr. english teacher....who gives a fukk about spelling

    i was just typeing and tellin my story

  37. #37
    spywizard's Avatar
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    On his head??????

    silly rabbits........... an injury to himself would be better than the injury they will be causing others...........

    pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee




    Quote Originally Posted by ColdStone
    ok...

    so after they finished the "upper back rows"..they proceded to the smith machine for some squats...the fat guy took the challange first with a whopping 25 pounds on each side...

    suprisingly he had some what good form... ...if you squat like you do good mornings...haha...so when he got out they conversed and blamed it on his bad knee...

    Then the skinny guy in an allen iverson jearsy took a shot...hes form was much better!!!..he kept his back straight and dropped his ass about 5 inches, then exploded to the top, and even threw in a calf raise at the top of the movement. After he was done they all rallyed togather and blamed his form on his denim "ghetto" shorts that were hanging off his ass...it must have restricted his form...

    Next the other skinny guy wearing the infamous "wife beater" stepped into the rack....he had an idea to do the similar squat as skinny guy #1, but instead of a calf press at the top, he was going to attempt a behind the neck military press....down he went about a foot from being parallel, and exploded up, gave the bar a good hard press and he got it up about 2 inches above his head and couldnt go any farther...he was stuck so he lowered the bar on TOP of his head and rested it their until his buddys could help him lower it down to rack it...

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  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by ColdStone
    yes sir mr. english teacher....who gives a fukk about spelling

    i was just typeing and tellin my story
    don't get your panties in a wad, you are not only grammatically challenged but seem to also have a problem with discerning sarcasm from criticism

  39. #39
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    oh yeah,,, that was some funny sh!t

  40. #40
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    OMG.. I had to shut my office door because I can't stop laughing!!!!

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