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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #1
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Joke of the Day

    What do 54,000 abused women have in common?


































    They don't fukin listen
    Last edited by mass junkie; 07-13-2004 at 08:16 AM.

  2. #2
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    thats bad mass, but funny

  3. #3
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
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    Why do women generally have smaller feet than men?































    So they can get that much closer to the kitchen sink.

  4. #4
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    hahahaha i love it, i love it

  5. #5
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    why did the woman have 2 black eyes?














    she didn't listen the first time.

  6. #6
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    what do you call a hooker with a runny nose????




























    FULL.......

  7. #7
    DevilsDeity's Avatar
    DevilsDeity is offline Anabolic Member
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    This is a classic

    A guy goes to buy a train ticket, and the girl selling tickets has an
    incredible set of jugs. He says, "Give me two pickets to
    Titsburgh...umm...I mean, two tickets to Pittsburgh". He's really
    embarrassed...

    The guy in line behind him says, "Relax, pal. We all make
    Freudian slips like that. Just the other day at the breakfast table I
    meant to say to my wife, `Please pass the sugar', but I accidentally
    said, `You f*cking b1tch, you wrecked my life!"

  8. #8
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    why is the space between a womsn tits and her pussy called a waste? cause u could easily have gotten at least one more pair of tits there

  9. #9
    Spyder Guest
    Subject: Vito the Dragon Slayer


    Vito the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Vito the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Vito the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Vito the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

    The King quickly summoned Vito the Dragon Slayer.

    Horatio the Physician then slipped Vito the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Vito worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved,
    and Vito the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

    Upon returning to his chamber, Vito the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Vito the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

    The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's shorts. The King immediately summoned Vito the Dragon Slayer... The moral of the story - - Pay Your Bills.

  10. #10
    FCECC2 is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spyder
    Subject: Vito the Dragon Slayer


    Vito the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Vito the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Vito the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Vito the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

    The King quickly summoned Vito the Dragon Slayer.

    Horatio the Physician then slipped Vito the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Vito worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved,
    and Vito the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

    Upon returning to his chamber, Vito the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Vito the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

    The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's shorts. The King immediately summoned Vito the Dragon Slayer... The moral of the story - - Pay Your Bills.
    was long but worth it a lot!!!

  11. #11
    Spyder Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by TRLS63
    was long but worth it a lot!!!
    i hear ya bro ... i hate long jokes, but as soon as i read "voluptuous breasts" in the first line, it kept me going!!

  12. #12
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    Lmfao

  13. #13
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    What do you call a black prostitue with braces? A black and decker pecker wrecker.

  14. #14
    Spyder Guest

    Talking

    A guy goes to the Government to interview for a job.

    The interviewer asks him, "Are you a Veteran?"

    The guy says, "Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam."

    "Good," says the interviewer, "That counts in your favor.
    Do you have any service-related disabilities?"

    The guy says, "In fact I am 100% disabled.
    During a battle, an explosion removed my private parts
    so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my
    ability to work, though."

    "Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you,
    I can hire you right now! Our working hours are 8 to 4.
    Come on in about 10, and we'll get you started."

    The guy says, "If working hours are from 8 to 4,
    why do you want me to come at 10?"

    "Well, here at the government, we don't do anything but
    sit around and scratch our balls for the first two hours.
    No point of your coming in for that".

  15. #15
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    I'm supprised no women have came in and given you any syte on this one mass.

    Funny though

  16. #16
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    What Does A Battered Women Do As Soon As She Gets Out Of The Shelter

















    The Dishes If That Bitch Knows Whats Good For Her

  17. #17
    Money Boss Hustla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoobJuice
    What Does A Battered Women Do As Soon As She Gets Out Of The Shelter


    The Dishes If That Bitch Knows Whats Good For Her

  18. #18
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
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    Theory vs Reality

    One day a son asked his father what was the difference between "theory" and "reality". His father thought and then said "Go ask your Mother if she would sleep with the next door neighbor for a half million dollars."

    The son went to his mother and asked her. She thought about it a minute and then said, "Yes, yes I would." The son returned to his father and told him her reply. The father then told the son to go ask his sister if she would sleep with the next door neighbor's son for a half million dollars. The son went to his sister and asked her. She thought about it for a minute and then replied, "Yes, yes I would."

    The son returned to his father and told him his sister also said she would. The father said, "Well son, there you have it. In theory, we're living with a million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of whores."

  19. #19
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    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahhaah hahaahahahahahahahah

    the dishes if that bitch knows whats good for her!


    hahahahahahaha

  20. #20
    Prime's Avatar
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    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Joke of the Day-shutup1.jpg  

  21. #21
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    Why did the Pregnant Woman cross the street?










































    The real question is where did she get the shoes and how the fnck did she get out of the kitchen!

  22. #22
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
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    Definition of a wife:
    "An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done."


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    How are an oven and a woman alike?
    You have to get them both hot before you can stick the meat in.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What's the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
    You can't hear an enzyme.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    How do you make a hormone?
    Put sand in the Vaseline.

  23. #23
    DADDYDBOL's Avatar
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    theres two things i hate in this world.....a chauvinistic(sp) pig and a b!tch that won't do what the fook i tell her......

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