Lost my Girl.. Very hurt for the first time in my life (We've all been there right?)

I will make a long story short..( just feels better to talk about it sometimes )

About a year ago July 12 03 ( search my name and you can see some stuff )
I had a party at my house for my 23 year old cousin, well sadly he died that night, and at the time I was hooking up with this girl, She was the only one with me that day to find my cousin, well we kind just met but for some reason she was such a HUGE support from the beginning, She came with me to NY from FL for the funeral.. I had to major emotions going at once, the death of my best friend, my love, my cousin, and the falling in love with my dream girl..

So on to the story, She moved in with me right away, I would of sold my house because of the situation but since she stayed I kept it.. We did great and at one point I knew this was going to be my girl for life. She was the best, but after 8 months or so her partying days were still there. She liked to go out and drink and stuff ( which was not a problem ) but she would then drive home in her state of drunk.. I did not like that! This is a girl I loved and she loved me, It bothered me. Well we finally had enough and I sent her packing, she moved back to Jersey where she was from and lived with her mother. After about 2 weeks we decided to try again, I flew up to Jersey to get her and drove back down to FL, Well Just like carma issue's happened all over again, She did her drinking and driving thing ( Not often but still enough for me to be upset ) And she was a BIG FLIRT, very insecure girl for some reason and needed attention.


**** hit the fan in the beginning of the month when she went to have drinks after work, then calls me on the way home to tell me some guy at her job was saying things like I had sex with this person or that person. Just completly lied to her, obviously to get into her pants. She finally came home and I just had enough, she stumbled out of the car and It was enough for me. Its just I don't need this stress in my life, with the driving and drinking, and the flirting at work to a point where a guy would have the balls to tell her these things...

Anyway its been about a week since I even talked to her, we are seriously over this time. I love her so **** much but I am moving on ( same with her )

I do love her so deeply, but what hurts just as much is she was the only person to understand what I went through that day with my cousin. I am missing her and having dreams of her all the time ( And I never dream )

I guess life goes on after love.. I hope...

Thanks for reading. Here are some pics of her..


http://www.corral.net/photopost/data...100050-med.JPG

http://www.corral.net/photopost/data...100032-med.JPG

Hey bro, hang in there! Yes we've all been through something like this before. Its hard, but uv made the right decission. If she doesnt respect u enough to not get fuked up and flirt around, then who needs her. She'll be more trouble then shes worth bro. Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people. Just be glad u were strong enough to realize it and do something about it. Good luck bro!!

OG

Hey bro......... sorry about your cousin but yes I remeber reading the post.

It's going to take time to get over her........ but you did the right thing. No one needs the stress of worrying about someone that doesn't care about themself or have respect for the other person's feelings in the relationship.

Spend time alone, hang out with friends, do anything to take your mind off of her so you can get her out of your system.

Good luck bro...... we all have been here one time or another.

It sounds like it's a double edged sword love on one side/alcoholic tendancies on the other. Unfortunately if she loves to party you know she'll never be cool with doing the settle down thing. I was in a relationship like that and the emotional rollercoaster almost drove me nuts. It may not feel that way but you are better off.

My advice is to lay low, reflect and heal your heart. Let yourself feel the pain and go through the loss process that's how you will completely heal. Diversions like partying or banging a bunch of girls you don't love will make it worse. See this as an opportunity for great personal growth and use it. Good luck and sorry for your heartache.

Thanks guys!! Yea For the past year I might of gone to the gym 10x. Through the depression with my cousin and stress with my Girl, I lost all motivation... Just last week I am getting back into it.. And need to cut really bad from all the fat I gained.. Which might bring up another topic of Winny :)

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Originally Posted by mustang331

Thanks guys!! Yea For the past year I might of gone to the gym 10x. Through the depression with my cousin and stress with my Girl, I lost all motivation... Just last week I am getting back into it.. And need to cut really bad from all the fat I gained.. Which might bring up another topic of Winny :)

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Best thing to do bro is find something to focus on. Whether it be working out or some other hobby. To site and dwell on it will only make it worse. Good luck!

OG

I feel you did the right thing. I was in relationship much like your. I called an end to it and then spent 2 years alone just getting things straight. It was time well spent and makes you realize just what is important to you. Hang in there bro. It will all turn out for th best.

There is life after love bro... I think many guys on the board including myself will back that up... The only thing that helps a situation like that is time, having people to talk to, to be able to get whats bothering you off your chest... Believe me there is light at the end of that tunnel. Good luck in the future and don't live in the past.

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I just went through it myself. It's hard, it hurts, it sucks. In time it eases. Focus on yourself. Get back in the gym, take care of you. In time....it will all fall back into place.

I got 99 "Problems" and a bitch aint 1....to many fish out there in the sea Bro...Move on...and be strong...Peace

All these people are definitely right, we have all been there at a point in our lives, just be strong and use those emotions in the gym

sorry to here about all the pain. time to get back to the gym. get your priorities in order make yourself number 1 again and i would not mess with any gear until you get your head on right. good luck

**** thats gotta suck

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Originally Posted by jbigdog69

I got 99 "Problems" and a bitch aint 1

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:lol: That's one way to look at it brutha.

~SC~

this stuff is never easy. If it makes you feel any better everyone goes through hardships like this. I've lost more friends than I care to mention. And breaking up with a long term girl, well that takes alot of time to get over no matter who you are. Even hooking up with new girls never helped me with that. Even if you dont think so now when you look back on this you'll know you made the right decision.

I'm sorry to hear it, I wish you the best.... :hello:

Actually I'll have to say this is good news for you bro.........sounds like she might have a slight problem with the drink. Best you found this fact out and deal with it then to end up married to her and trying to deal with something like this. Trust me that people do not change unless they really want to. Good luck bro and keep that chin up........each day will get a little better.

you didn't lose a girl you got rid of her, you should be proud of yourself. btw what's wrong with her leg?

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Originally Posted by trailrider38

you didn't lose a girl you got rid of her, you should be proud of yourself. btw what's wrong with her leg?

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WE were playing mini golf.... :)

Thanks guys thanks much!

Relationship problems suck and they hurt if you like the person regardless of which end you are on.

No ones advice will help you. Time often doesnt help either. Time just seems to make it worse as you push through it thinking about all the "what ifs"
Starting a hobby is a good idea but that seldom works because you have absolutely no focus or motivation.

Hopefully you will run into a girl who will help you through this and get your mind off of her. Maybe you and your ex will talk and work things out.
Best of luck

sorry about that bro, i feel for u.

On the note i met alot of friends in the service who's gals became f^ckin pscycho's after months and months of steady relationships. Truth is everything was fine the problem was the gals needed an excuse to move on soo....Act crazy was the idea. :unsure: Its another way of getting a point across without damaging oneselfs pride aka females...

Best thing you can do at this point adapt and overcome...
Good luck bro and god bless.

bro just remember she lost alot to.. remember there are many bumps along the road, so this will prepare you, dont focus on what could have been just whats gonna be.. good luck..

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Originally Posted by UrbanDawg

What should I do ?

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You should get tested.

80% of females are evil, there i asid it, someone had to

i was in the same boat man, took me awhile to get over my last gf, the way i look at it is there are too many beautiful girls out there to give just one of them your undivided attention, hope you feel better

Thanks again all.. This talked mighto f only helped a little but anything is good..

I used to never care.. Had so many G/F's before and never got hurt before.. Its funny because I ended things with most girls, and even this one, but for some reason it hurts like hell.. I guess because of what I went through with my cousin and stuff.. Thanks again!

Did you ever tell her how much her drinking and flerting is bothering you?

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Originally Posted by bor

Did you ever tell her how much her drinking and flerting is bothering you?

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Obviously there is always more to the story.. But of course..

I told her many times.. I told her to make this relationship work, to work in a healthy way, your going to have to do me a favor ( for someone you say you love more than life ) I don't care if you go out at all, go out and have fun I told her, if you drink please either call me, get a ride or take a cab, I will even pay for the cab...

I told her I loved her and worried about it, and its stupid to do things like that.. Let alone getting pulled over for a DUI but killing yourself or even worse SOMEONE ELSE..

The flirting thing was always an issue, she had a weird way of doing it.. Making friends with guys at work, Ok I guess that's cool. Talking to them on the phone for over a half hour.. Maybe some people think its ok.. But I don't and if you don't respect my feelings leave.. Well of course she agreed not to be like this anymore, but I guess she is just to imature, or does not deserve a GREAT guy like me. I cannot see a good moral guy allowing this type of BS esp. when they love her...

hang in there bro, ive been thought it too, nothing anyones says to you will make the situation better, it will just take time, think positive bro. Try not to think about her all the time and try metting other girls it will take your mind off of her, and remember its her loss bro, if shes was the one drinking and hanging out with other dudes and partying and flirting and whatever else she was up to, then f*ck her, its a waste of time even thinking about her.

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Originally Posted by Testsubject

hang in there bro, ive been thought it too, nothing anyones says to you will make the situation better, it will just take time, think positive bro. Try not to think about her all the time and try metting other girls it will take your mind off of her, and remember its her loss bro, if shes was the one drinking and hanging out with other dudes and partying and flirting and whatever else she was up to, then f*ck her, its a waste of time even thinking about her.

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Everyday is getting easier and easier.. Lastnight was the first time I stayed home without doing a **** thing, or seeing any friends.. Just went for a good hour cardio session, came home and watched the Butterfly effect ( Directors Cut which is AWESOME BTW )

Hang in there bud, it will get better, most of us had been in your position, you'll find another! and you don't need the added stress to your life if it has been happening over and over

What your ex did was wrong..you made the right choice stick with it Bro.

Mustang, I am in the same boat bro. My girl wanted to break up for the summer after dating for a year at college. She would go out w/ her girlfriends and party at all the frats (which I hated her doing) and she had more numbers in her cell phone than Ive ever seen. (I stopped counting in the C's at more than 50) She talks and flirts w/ tons of guys just because she knows she is beautiful and so she will reassure herself guys want her. Then when shes drunk she would come back to my room and pass out. Or if we went out together she would not seem to have a good a time w/ me. If she wants to get back w/ me shes gonna haffta change, and it dont look like shes gonna. She said herself she was being very selfish breaking up w/ me so she could have the summer to be single, not to mention breaking my heart, so Im gonna make her sweat when were back at school, same dorm btw.

If your girl REALLY cared for you she would not drink and drive if you expressed as how you felt she shouldnt. She would have realized how dangerous that is and the consequenses if she got pulled over or got in a wreck. Youre much better off w/out the worrying about her. I havnnt talked to my exgf in a month, it will get easier if you dont think about her all the time and dont talk to her like youve been doin. Just train hard and dont think about her.

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Originally Posted by bermich

Maybe you and your ex will talk and work things out.
Best of luck

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As much as I would pray for this to happen.. It can't.. She just wasn't ready.. If it was maybe 5 or 10 years from now, I feel she will change.. I mean she has to if she wants to have a stable relationship.

Sorry to hear that happened sometimes in relationships things happen for a reason, you can tell someone time and time again what bothers you and what is acceptable in a relationship, but then it comes down to respect. Like donald trump says in many of his books is he doesn't ask for respect but he demands it. That is how you have to be in your relationship. Best of luck with you and your women issues. But you'll find your lobster just give it some time and have patience. :D

wow she is so hot man, im so sorry. you know the old saying...

LOL Just found out this bitch is with someone already only 3 weeks and already with another guy.. Just makes it easier for me LOL!

on a positive note : i read somewhere that there are 40 million ppl in the us. take half of that as female and the leaves you with 20 MILLION FEMALES. chances are youll find someone better. hope that cheers ya up

I know how you feel. I was there and had to let him go. I`m sorry it has been 5yrs sense then and it still hurts at times. It does get earlier. Look around and there will be someone waiting for you. Keep smiling and hang in there. HB2

theirs alot more than 40 million people in the US, try close to 300 million. theirs so many new people out their to meet