Opinions on addiction

**Nathan** · 08-10-2004, 10:31 AM

I just got done talking to my cousin about his cocaine addiction and his manic depressive personality. It was scary. He has lost about 60lbs since I last saw him, is pale as all hell with bags under his eyes, and he blurts out about 50,000 unintelligible words every minute. I didn't really know what to say to him. He's still having trouble with the death of his parents amongst other things. He's seriously pretty far gone. I tried talking about his future and his goals and where he ultimately wants to be in ten years. It had little to no effect so I just listened and told him I was concerned. I told him to call me if he wants to talk again or see a movie or something some time. Any suggestions of other things to do to help? I don't think he believes he needs help either. He kept saying how happy and together he is which obviously can't be true when he's pacing back and forth and sniffling uncontrollablly.

Swellin · 08-10-2004, 10:39 AM

That sucks to see friends or relatives in that situation. You did about all you can. You offered to be there for him. Unfortunately, there is no way to force recovery on someone...they have to want it.

You can continue to check in on him and force to go to a movie or do something else...some form of escapism, but that's about it.

**jbigdog69** · 08-10-2004, 10:39 AM

How old is he??

**ripsid** · 08-10-2004, 10:48 AM

I hate saying it, but if he's that bad....get him and take him somewhere where he can't get any...sober him up. Talk to him and explain to him what he's doing to himself...and to his family! His loss is unbelievably painful! I couldn't imagine sucha loss, but he needs to man up and do something more than snort his life away.
I've had good friends lifes ruined by that shat! My friend had a music store with like a 8 million dollar inventory that he and his wifes 1000k habit a week lost it for them, then they tweaked out to save money divorced ... and now are both living a pretty pithetic but clean exsistance. It's too late to go back and change things and that kills them!
You need to play hardball with him but let him know that you care and you'd rather have him in pain over there death then dead. And they way it sounds he looks dead. You can take a picture of him before and one now, show them to him and say you don't look OK.
this is one of the toughest things to do, to have to deal with. but you need to for his sake! Too many people don't come out of an addiction alive!

Good Luck Bro! I hope the best..

SID

**Nathan** · 08-10-2004, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by jbigdog69

How old is he??

He is 23. He lost his dad when he was about 11 or so I think. He just lost his mom a year and a half ago or so. His father died of colon cancer and his mom had heart disease. The immediate problem is the drugs, but the long-term problem is the fact that he has serious mental illnesses. He has ADD and was put on ritalin but obviously no longer takes it and instead pumps himself full of amphetamines. He was going on about how hard it was to come home on acid and see his mom lying on the bathroom floor with her wrists slit and blood everywhere. My aunt was just like my mom and her other sisters - ****ed in the head. My cousin is no different. I thought maybe I could help since I have been through similar issues (and to be truthful am still dealing with them) but not to the same degree, obviously. I think part of the problem is that he thinks he is happy now, but that is only the case because I don't think he's ever really been happy.

**builtthekid** · 08-10-2004, 11:02 AM

Dawg the only way to go about this is to take him to
rehab u just cant run from issues like this it sucks
that he lost both his parents but man he has to get help.

**co2boi** · 08-10-2004, 11:09 AM

Yeah bro, this sh!t's gonna be real hard on both of you. Nothing you can say will help him man, the only thing to do is get him somewhere that the coke isn't available and let him ride it out. That's only the first step, then he has to deal with his mental illness which has likely been increased from the coke addiction

**TheMudMan** · 08-10-2004, 11:15 AM

Right now being there for him and makeing sure he's ok is all you can do. Unless he wants to stop or he see that his drug abuse is ruining his life and eventually will kill him he will not seek help.

**jbigdog69** · 08-10-2004, 11:19 AM

Well, I commend you for trying to help him. Unfortunelty he needs professional help. Maybe ya'll could all chip in and get him some help...peace

**Juggernaut** · 08-10-2004, 11:25 AM

Nathan, I don't know what state you're in but is there anything like what we have here in Florida where you could "Baker Act" him? If he's a harm to himself, in florida, you can have anyone committed for 72 hours.......if they deem him still needing help (in most cases this is true for most) they can then place him in a detox center for 28 days....here I think it's called the "Steward or Murphy Act". Is there anything like this in your neck of the woods. How about calling a few places to see what might be avaliable for him. I'm sure there's a help line listed in the phone book for something like this.

**Nathan** · 08-10-2004, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by Juggy'sTwat

Nathan, I don't know what state you're in but is there anything like what we have here in Florida where you could "Baker Act" him? If he's a harm to himself, in florida, you can have anyone committed for 72 hours.......if they deem him still needing help (in most cases this is true for most) they can then place him in a detox center for 28 days....here I think it's called the "Steward or Murphy Act". Is there anything like this in your neck of the woods. How about calling a few places to see what might be avaliable for him. I'm sure there's a help line listed in the phone book for something like this.

I'm in Canada. I called his older brother and I think I scared him a little. He didn't seem to know it was as bad as it is. I want to explore talking to him a bit more, but I will take action in terms of having him committed if I don't see signs of improvement soon...very soon. ****.

**Juggernaut** · 08-10-2004, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by Nathan

I'm in Canada. I called his older brother and I think I scared him a little. He didn't seem to know it was as bad as it is. I want to explore talking to him a bit more, but I will take action in terms of having him committed if I don't see signs of improvement soon...very soon. ****.

Bro...I know it's not our nature to stick our noses in where they don't belong but when it comes to the people we care about then I'd have to say to hell with that idea. I'd rather they hated my guts than to stand by and watch them ruin their lives and kill themselves. Do what you have to do bro......I hope things workout and he gets help. Good luck Bro......ps......he's lucky to have a person such as yourself in his life.

**Fat Guy** · 08-10-2004, 12:31 PM

Addiction is a B**ch especial for family members who care. There are many resources out there to help you bro. Try finding some and then let everyone in your family know about his problem and then work together as a family effort to help him out. One main point though, an addict will not receive treatment until they are willing. The only thing you can do is be supportive, but not enabling. There are support groups for the family members of addicts and they do offer some good advice. Here is a link to Narcotics Anonymous. http://www.na.org/

Good luck bro and we support you here!

**monstercojones** · 08-10-2004, 12:58 PM

force him into rehab. i've seen too many good people die from addiction and/or drug related violence to say otherwise. the best thing for him is to have somoene like you telling him what he needs to straighten out his life. it sounds like he cant do this on his own, he will need serious help... words just wont cut it friend. something concrete needs to be done in this situation imo.

**Pale Horse** · 08-10-2004, 01:41 PM

Where is he getting his money to fund his habit?

**dirtdawg** · 08-10-2004, 02:01 PM

i have had a couple of friends fall into this also, you cant force anything on him because he will just want to rebel even more, when this happened to my one friend, and we all knew he had a problem, i said come along for a ride, i have to do some errands, so i took my bud to a alcohol anonymous class, he was reluctant at first, but then realized that he neeed help, he was just scared to face the fact and didnt want to admit that to himself that he did have a problem, dont ask him if he wants to go, make it a surprise, it worked for my buddy,once he saw that the other people there were just like himself, a lot of cool ass mother f*ckers there,he realized that he wasnt alone, he wound up making friends, and now has been clean for almost 2 months, he still drinks and smokes weed, but he is a lot happier and healthier,especially with coc, it is not a drug you can just put down, you can never get enough, so alcoholics anonymous or narcotics anonymous will help imo, its a chill and comfortable atmosphere, and he doesnt have to say anything there, just listen to others sories, its just like the AR forum, all types of topics come up, some funny, some will make a grown ass man cry, but it is a start to help, everyone there is more than willing to take anyone in with open arms, and it really works, no BS

**Tock** · 08-10-2004, 02:11 PM

I tried helping an alcoholic once . . . he seemed to be pretty sharp, seemed to show a lot of interest in getting himself off the street. But his addiction was stronger than what I could do for him (making a long story short), and his addiction got the better of him.

I kinda think the only way to help is to isolate 'em from their problem; send 'em someplace where they can't do booze or drugs so they can dry out. And after that, sometimes counseling can help 'em stay sober, but if they don't find that something that makes 'em resolve 100% to change, it just ain't gonna happen. Addiction is a terrible thing . . . some people are more prone to it than others, thanks to their biochemistry. Takes over your thinking process; makes you do crazy things; you can trade your family, friends, even a roof over your head, for a drink or shot of something, and genuinely think you did the right thing.
Ya, addiction is crazy. Best thing you can do is isolate your pal from getting stuff, then let the professionals deal with it.
I wish you better luck than what my acquaintance had . . .
--Tock

**Blown_SC** · 08-10-2004, 02:20 PM

Bro, I think you are pretty close to my home.. and I think that this would be a good idea to at least look into..

The other bros have given you great advice... so I won't comment further...

There is a centre in Toronto you should look into... seriously...

Check this site out, and let me know what you think....

It's called 'Bellwood Health Services'... CLICK HERE

Here's a toll-free number... 1-800-387-6198 .. you can call them, and they should be able to steer you in the right direction...

Best wishes.. you need anything just ask...

**Pale Horse** · 08-10-2004, 02:31 PM

When I was 20-23 years old I went in and out of rehab for cocaine addiction. Back then they were just starting to realize how bad it was because crack was getting big. (thankfully I never tried crack or I would probably be dead)I had three rehabs before I "got it". I was forced in twice and put myself in the third time for 60 days. I had to find my own "bottom" so to speak. I had lost jobs, a new townhose, a fiance two months before our wedding that was 18 months in the planning but I didn't give JACk SH*T.

Cocaine is some scary sh*t. Cutt of his funds= cut off his supply. But no matter what you do as everyone has said until he is ready you can't do anything. I'm not saying you shouldn't try but don't be demolished when he blows you off. Sorry bro.

**decadbal** · 08-10-2004, 03:47 PM

i love the cocaine i love the cocaine

**Dally** · 08-10-2004, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Decadbal

i love the cocaine i love the cocaine

yes.

eh Nathan man.. why dont you take him out to the woods .. to go fishin or something ..

no that wont work.

hmm, how bout... no

umm yah man, gotta cut that shat out ASAP otherwise thats all hes gonna be thinkin about, which is a fruitless battle on your part bro.

Im in Toronto... Id like to help somehow ..... if you think of something .. pm me bro.

**Nathan** · 08-16-2004, 11:52 AM

Thanks to everyone for the support. Long story short, my cousin won't talk to me anymore. I called his brother to let him know I was concerned since he is the closest family member now. It got back to my cousin and he was not happy. At least I think I got it through to a few other family members that it was getting about as bad as it can get. I still can't believe he's doing an ounce to an ounce and a half of coke a day. I hope he gets through it okay.

**Jantzen4k** · 08-16-2004, 11:55 AM

goodluck bro!

**Pork Chop** · 08-16-2004, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by Nathan

I just got done talking to my cousin about his cocaine addiction and his manic depressive personality. It was scary. He has lost about 60lbs since I last saw him, is pale as all hell with bags under his eyes, and he blurts out about 50,000 unintelligible words every minute. I didn't really know what to say to him. He's still having trouble with the death of his parents amongst other things. He's seriously pretty far gone. I tried talking about his future and his goals and where he ultimately wants to be in ten years. It had little to no effect so I just listened and told him I was concerned. I told him to call me if he wants to talk again or see a movie or something some time. Any suggestions of other things to do to help? I don't think he believes he needs help either. He kept saying how happy and together he is which obviously can't be true when he's pacing back and forth and sniffling uncontrollablly.

Take from someone who'se been there.
You can talk to him t'ill you're blue in the face, the only thing on his mind is the next high. He'll clean up when he hit's rock bottom. Only then when he's ready will he pick himself up. He's still real young. Don't lend him money or anything like that, and don't be overlly compationate with him either. He knows he's got a problem, you told him too, best is sit and wait for things to sort out.

**Juggernaut** · 08-16-2004, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by Nathan

Thanks to everyone for the support. Long story short, my cousin won't talk to me anymore. I called his brother to let him know I was concerned since he is the closest family member now. It got back to my cousin and he was not happy. At least I think I got it through to a few other family members that it was getting about as bad as it can get. I still can't believe he's doing an ounce to an ounce and a half of coke a day. I hope he gets through it okay.

Well don't let it upset you too much Nathan....once he gets cleaned up you'll be the first person he comes too thank for truely caring. I'll keep your cousin in my prayers big guy.

**Tock** · 08-16-2004, 12:16 PM

Ya, you've done all you can do. Addiction is a tricky business; if he isn't ready to deal with it 100%, he just plain ain't ready. He'll have to go through some pretty horrible stuff before he reaches a point where he's totally outraged at what addiction has done to him and is ready to recover. All you can do is be available when he is ready.

Addiction sucks. I've seen too many good people go down because of it. But as the Captain of the Titanic quipped as his ship sunk deeper and deeper into the icy Atlantic, "Sometimes all you can do is all you can do."

It'll be tough on you, too, seeing your friend go down. But then, "All you can do is all you can do." Find yourself a shoulder to cry on . . . I wish you well.

-Tock

**Blown_SC** · 08-16-2004, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by Nathan

Thanks to everyone for the support. Long story short, my cousin won't talk to me anymore. I called his brother to let him know I was concerned since he is the closest family member now. It got back to my cousin and he was not happy. At least I think I got it through to a few other family members that it was getting about as bad as it can get. I still can't believe he's doing an ounce to an ounce and a half of coke a day. I hope he gets through it okay.

Nathan...
Does he live around you? Or are you talking over the phone/net with him?

And, Juggy's advice was great(above post)... he will thank-you first and foremost once he cleans up, and hopefully, he does that soon...

Best wishes bro..

PT · 08-16-2004, 02:46 PM

thats alot of coke. im not sure of the price in canada, but in pittsburgh an ounce runs you about $1000. id say he has a major problem that talking wont solve. the only cure for him is detox then rehab. hope everything turns out allright nathan. good luck

**Big Rush** · 08-17-2004, 07:28 PM

ya, that is ALOT of frekin' coke to do a day...he has a very serious problem bro and i wish i had some sound advice for you...unfortunately addiction is a strong disease that is not easily broken...i wish you and him the best of luck