Girls who keep that ONE condom
Anyone ever wonder why girls have the most generic condoms ever.
You are happy you are getting laid and she goes to her drawer to get a condom for you. She gives you this condom that you have NEVER heard of before. Like one of those things you get from a prank shop that is in a match book or something. Non lubricated, non spermicdial, piece of rubber. Might as well buy a water balloon and try putting that on cause it is almost the same.
Still, you dont care cause you want to get inside that piece of ass only to find out that it breaks while you try to put it on. Well no shlt it breaks. She probably had it for 5 years from her previous boyfriend who bought it at the dollar store on his way over to her house.
So now what do you do? Do you still have sex and try to pretend you didnt know it was broke or do you tell her. Of course you dont tell her because you KNOW she only has THAT ONE condom in her drawer and no others. Girls keep that ONE condom for cases like this not thinking about a back up. Guys have like 50 condoms of all assortments so the girl has no excuse for not putting out.
She cant complain about spermicide or lubrication or ribbed cause you have one of all types.
So anyway, back to telling her it broke. Once you tell her it broke, you know she wont let you have sex so it just turns out to be a hand jerk off and a finger bang. YAY!!! So do you have sex anyway and pull out cumming in your hand hiding the evidence so she doesnt freak out if she finds out the condom was broke???? She will just think she has to buy more of those condoms cause it was the most NATURAL feeling condom she has ever experienced.
Then you wonder why she has condoms in her drawer anyway. How many does she have and how many does she use on a nightly basis. Is it just that emergancy one or are there hundreds. Does she have a preferance or does she just bum one off a guy at a bar?
Am I the only one who finds it impossoible to find the right end of the condom
Just when you think you have it on right, you find out it wont unroll any further cause it is on the wrong side. Trying to determine which end is up while it is in the package is impossible and I keep forgetting. Once open, it is usually under the covers, in the dark and you are horny as all hell and have just one thing on your mind. You arent trying to put it on correctly, you are just trying to put it on as quickly as possible.
So now, with only one hand, you are trying to tear open the package, put it on the right way and still trying to rub her tits and pussy with the other hand at the same time.
honestly if a girl handed me a condom b4 sex..
in all honesty i would think to myself, "now you are gonna get a priosn style **** session courtesy of the p-a-r-t-y!!!!" i would lay into that chick like a prison guard in the ladie's sector