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  1. #1
    Shredz is offline Respected Member
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    Do the right thing and help out the poor NHL players

    Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline
    prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet. Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going to be locked-out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!


    For only $20,835 a month, about $760.48 a day (that's less than the cost a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help! Although $800 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, eight hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $800 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $800 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment centre, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.



    HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples 'suffering.



    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.



    YES, I WANT TO HELP!

    I would like to sponsor a locked-out NHL player. My preference is (check below):
    [ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team
    Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)

    [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $760.48 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with a Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

    Your Name: _______________________
    Telephone Number: _______________________

    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

    Signature: _______________________
    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

    Signature: _______________________

  2. #2
    PrairieDawg's Avatar
    PrairieDawg is offline Senior Member
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    sums it up great. the nhl players are being a bunch of babies. there wont be a nhl if they don't smarten up.

  3. #3
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
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    WHL.. *evil music playing* 'dun dun dun'...

  4. #4
    pretty_tony's Avatar
    pretty_tony is offline Associate Member
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    Canada eh?
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    thats a sweet thread

  5. #5
    5minsforfighting's Avatar
    5minsforfighting is offline Associate Member
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    Jan 2002
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    LOL ... got that email a few weeks ago .. its still halarious

  6. #6
    woodiechopper is offline Associate Member
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    Apr 2003
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    Online
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    having watched the Rangers go from bad to worse to no name for how bad, the basic problem is clear: a bad business model. Players should only get paid if they win. You lose, you don't get paid. Some of the high paid prima donnas might actually skate if their Porsches were riding on it.

  7. #7
    decadbal's Avatar
    decadbal is offline Banned
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    Nov 2002
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    North Charlotte
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    wait wait, we have hockey in the states...wtf.

  8. #8
    Psychotron's Avatar
    Psychotron is offline Anabolic Member
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    May 2004
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    San Diego
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    nhl going bankrupt.

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