** Sad and at an all time low, I really need support **

[Farmer]

Hello everyone,

I really need some support from you guys here at AR. My girlfriend of 10 months left yesterday and she will be gone for 3-5 months. It is TV related and she has very minimal phone time that she can use to call me. I know it is only the first day she has been gone totally but I cannot eat and I feel like someone has my stomach is a knot and they are not letting me breathe. This is worst emotional pain I have ever experienced in my life. She was my everything, we spent practically all of our time together and we are completely in love. It was as hard for me as it was for her when she left the airport.
I need some words of encouragement or something. I hope it will be better as time goes on but I feel like I cannot make it through the day. I am seriously thinking of going to a psychiatrist if this continues after a few weeks or so and looking into some help. I try SO hard to think positive and how fast the time will go by but it is SO INCREDIBLY hard right now. I see her picture and want to cry because I miss her so much. I would give anything to have her right now.
Any help is appreciated and I know some people on this board has gone through hard times before. I cannot imagine the feelings of the loved ones who are in the military for months at a time without knowing if they will return or not. That is one thing I have to look forward to, I know she is safe and will be coming home, but at this current time I am an emotional wreck with complete sadness taking over me. Thanks

Peace

Farmer

[max-it]

Sorry to hear about your pain bro. I know how you feel. I went away to college about 2 years after I had started dating my girlfriend. I had a hard time with it. All I can say is the time will pass. Try to stay busy, this will keep your mind off of the painful feelings. Time apart will bring you guys closer together. Oh, and that girl I was dating before college, well we have been married for 8 years now and have 3 beautiful children. Remember, she is probably hurting worse than you right now (women tend to be more emotional) so she is going to need you to be strong for her. I'm not saying act like you don't care, but try not to cry when you talk to her, tell her you miss her and you are thinking of her. Maybe start writing her letters, even if you can't mail them you can give them to her when she gets back. The letters will mean everything to her. Good luck and hang in there bro.

[BDTR]

I wish my girlfriend would go away for three months sometimes.

Seriously, its not that long of a time, atleast she's coming back, ya know? Can you visit?

[mass junkie]

I dont know how to approach this......I guess apart of me feels bad for you but the other part of me that has been with the same woman for over 10 years.....would kill for the oppurtunity for 3 months of free time...

You'll get through this.

I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one

[Farmer]

I wish my girlfriend would go away for three months sometimes.

Seriously, its not that long of a time, atleast she's coming back, ya know? Can you visit?

Nope cannot visit, and rumor on phone time is now 5-10 minutes per week.

Max-it: Thanks for the kind words! Glad to see that it worked out for you so well. Hopefully I have a story to tell like that later in the future.

Mass and BDTR: Thanks, I know I will get through it but im at the "bottom of the mountain" sorta speak and I am overwhelmed by the amount of time we will be apart. I was driving home and saw a couple holding hands going into a womens clothing store and it killed me. I would do anything for a moment like that now with my girlfriend. I will definently cherish all the moments when she returns. I want to use this time to really lean down and be a whole new me when she returns. I just need to shake these depressing feelings that I am having now. Thanks again fellas this is really going to help me get through this.

Peace

Farmer

[itsallmental]

I dont know how to approach this......I guess apart of me feels bad for you but the other part of me that has been with the same woman for over 10 years.....would kill for the oppurtunity for 3 months of free time...

You'll get through this.

I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one

martha doesnt count.

[juicehoe]

i feel ya... to make the time go by i did a cycle. Now i look back and go wow that time flew by (then i get misty eyed know the cycle is over). Good luck i know how hard it is

[itsallmental]

you just need to ease up bro, think of it as a little break. she will return, ofcourse your going to miss her but right now you should take advantage and try newer hobbies or sports that you never did before. find some friends and have fun. good luck bro.

[bigbouncinballs]

farmer, in two weeks i'm leaving my girl for four months and although i'll have ample phone time it is still difficult. we've been together for four years and spent numerous three month periods apart(she's european). do what i do, try and clear your head, use the time wisely and to your advantage. do the things you like that she may not be into like fishing or something. grow as an individual and stay true to her and she will be that much more in love when you are reunited.

[Miss T]

I feel you. Trust me I really do. FYI.... my husband and ai are apart for 4 more months. We talk everyday. But it's so **** difficult. I miss him gratly. The hardest, yup the airport. Letting go and wanting to hold back the tears but they come out anyways. And it is true; you think it's hard for you I am sure it just as hard or even more so for her. All the best to you. Just keep yourself busy. Workout. Do postives. Try not to dwell on the situation cause it can eat you up. All the best. T

[Farmer]

I really apperciate the comments. I am trying to tell myself that it will be ok and really trying to look on the bright side of things. Hopefully after a week or so things will begin to become normal for me again. She left yesterday and I feel like I am in shock or something, a dream.

Animal inside- Its a TV show and I really cant say anything else besides that, confidentality reasons with the show

Itsallmental- Thanks bro, I hope things will get easier in a week or so.

Big- Thanks for the words, I will definently try and use the time for myself. I am working on a cutting diet now and really want to lean down before she comes back

Juicehoe- Thanks bro, now would be a great time for a cycle but I am not ready yet and still too young for my taste (21yrs)

Again thank you everyone, I appreciate the kind words very much

Peace

Farmer

[Farmer]

I feel you. Trust me I really do. FYI.... my husband and ai are apart for 4 more months. We talk everyday. But it's so **** difficult. I miss him gratly. The hardest, yup the airport. Letting go and wanting to hold back the tears but they come out anyways. And it is true; you think it's hard for you I am sure it just as hard or even more so for her. All the best to you. Just keep yourself busy. Workout. Do postives. Try not to dwell on the situation cause it can eat you up. All the best. T

For your sake I really hope the time flys by. I appreciate the words very much, I wish we could talk it take some of the stress off of the situation but we cannot that often and I can't really do anything about that. I must agree that the airport was really bad. It was fine when we sat down and let everyone board before her, then we got up and she turned and went silent and I heard her begin to cry. It took all I had to hold it back and let her know that everything was ok and I reassured her of the things I was going to do while she was gone. We hugged and kissed and she walked down the jetway and I turned away and started to walk I looked back and waved one more time and turned back around walking and stopped a few feet later and saw her as her back was to me and she was going around the corner and that was when I practically lost it. I only lost a tear but if I was anywhere else without a lot of people it would have been a lot worse.
Arggh, here comes the feeling again after writing this. Oh well, I spoke with my dad and we talked and he tells me it is better that she is gone and coming back then leaving and never returning (death). It is very true but these sad thoughts are so huge in my head now It feels as I cannot do anything to bring myself back to normal. It does help to write this and get it out here. I can't believe how effortless it is for me to write the amount I am.
Again, I thank ALL of you for the help. I am 1 day in to 3-5 months , god someone help me

Peace

Farmer

[Farmer]

Who knows

[Jdawg50]

I would seriously consider some anti-depressants. They work good and now is the time to use them bro.

[Farmer]

I would seriously consider some anti-depressants. They work good and now is the time to use them bro.

I was thinking about getting a hold of my doc but I am going to give it a week and see how things are going. I got out tonight and studied for my class with a friend and although I was definently catching myself thinking about my girl a lot I did pretty well. If things do not start getting better I am definently gonna talk to a doc or psych. A part of me doesn't want to get any anti-depressants because that will be "giving in". I know it sounds horibble and I am not down playing ANYONE who uses them as being weak but that is the way I view them. However, as time goes on I am changing my mind and considering them.
I am not really sure how they will make me feel better. I mean I can think of happy thoughts of "She will be back and things will be great etc." but then I just get this empty feeling because she is gone. Will the anti-depressants erase those thoughts? or prevent me from feeling the loneliness? For the longest time I viewed ephedra as an anti-depressant Whenever I took it I had the greatest feeling ever, I could've been having the worst day of my life but I had a good outlook on life. People would cut me off in traffic and the next second I was letting some impatient a-hole in front of me. Oh well, we will see what the next week brings me. If things do not get any better than I will consider calling the doc. BTW, my girl and I have a couple big dates coming up as well. She will be gone for her b-day and our 1 year anniversary, there will be many more of those two for sure though. Good night and thanks again.

Peace

Farmer

[SwoleCat]

If it's any kind of reality show, I'd personally HATE it if my woman was partaking.

Every show I watch like that is full or drama, this guy hookin' up w/that girl, vice-versa, etc. Just a big azz mess in each show, no matter what the plot.

Dunno what show it is, but I'd try to keep in contact as much as I could.
Last thing you need is a "Temptation Island" type ending to your relationship.

~SC~

[Prime]

If it's any kind of reality show, I'd personally HATE it if my woman was partaking.

Every show I watch like that is full or drama, this guy hookin' up w/that girl, vice-versa, etc. Just a big azz mess in each show, no matter what the plot.

Dunno what show it is, but I'd try to keep in contact as much as I could.
Last thing you need is a "Temptation Island" type ending to your relationship.

~SC~

ha ha i was thinking of something worse "Extreme sexual makover" or something. Enough time to have th eoperations, grow some stubble and heal.
On a serious note farmer 3 months may seem along time but it will fly by if you keep yourself active and busy.

[cb25]

hey man, lots of good advice already doled out here, but i'll add my $.02 anyway.

Like your dad said, at least she's coming back. Take this time, as hard as it is, to really focus on yourself. Be selfish. Take care of yourself. Work out harder. Focus on whatever it is that you do. Take a class. Spend some time with your boys. Revel in the other things that keep you happy...or do something to make yourself more successful in life/work/school.

I've been with my girl for almost a couple years. At this point, i'm in Boston, she's in Phoenix. I'm lucky that i get to talk to her. But, in the time apart, i find myself being able to focus on my studies. I've immersed myself in school, my workouts, and taking care of myself first.

Best of luck to ya man, i'm sure you'll keep us updated as to the situation...

[Farmer]

Swole: It is not temptation Island, no way in hell would that fly with me. I am cool with the show there isn't any "mingling" between guest like a Tempation Island, Real World type.
Prime: Thanks for the words bro, it is day 2 and It is better than yesterday, positive thoughts are starting
CB25: Good luck with the situation of being apart, you guys will be fine and talking every day helps Im sure. Thanks for the encouragement, and you are right there is some good advice thus far. Take care!

Well its time for some AM cardio, ~3 months and counting for the "new" me

Peace

Farmer

[SwoleCat]

Swole: It is not temptation Island, no way in hell would that fly with me. I am cool with the show there isn't any "mingling" between guest like a Tempation Island, Real World type.
Prime: Thanks for the words bro, it is day 2 and It is better than yesterday, positive thoughts are starting
CB25: Good luck with the situation of being apart, you guys will be fine and talking every day helps Im sure. Thanks for the encouragement, and you are right there is some good advice thus far. Take care!

Well its time for some AM cardio, ~3 months and counting for the "new" me

Peace

Farmer

Cool!! Good deal, I know that I couldn't do that either brutha!

Best wishes!

~SC~

[cb25]

CB25: Good luck with the situation of being apart, you guys will be fine and talking every day helps Im sure. Thanks for the encouragement, and you are right there is some good advice thus far. Take care!

you're right man, it does help...plus, she's in law school, i'm in dental school...we're both busy like crazy, so we know how seriously to take things. we understand that there'll be times when the other won't be available.

i got lucky man, i got a great girl who's way out of my league

best of luck man...enjoy that am cardio!

[SwoleCat]

you're right man, it does help...plus, she's in law school, i'm in dental school...we're both busy like crazy, so we know how seriously to take things. we understand that there'll be times when the other won't be available.

i got lucky man, i got a great girl who's way out of my league

best of luck man...enjoy that am cardio!

Dayum! A Lawyer and a Dentist!

You'll both have a very plush "House on tha Hill".......

Word! Great future bro.

~SC~

[cb25]

Dayum! A Lawyer and a Dentist!

You'll both have a very plush "House on tha Hill".......

Word! Great future bro.

~SC~

thanks man, i work hard...but i'm very lucky...very blessed.

my friend jokes that we'll be the Cosbys...i say knock on wood, we've got a long way to go.

[SwoleCat]

thanks man, i work hard...but i'm very lucky...very blessed.

my friend jokes that we'll be the Cosbys...i say knock on wood, we've got a long way to go.

There are worse families to be compared to!

~SC~

[Animal Cracker]

Sorry to hear that you are down-but 3 months..well doesnt make things any easier, but just count it down, keep you head up and make sure she knows how much she is missed. I guess try to use this time to concentrate on you and what you can do to pass the time.-Bama

[Farmer]

I have been thinking bros and I decided on what is really going to allow me to focus and fly through the upcoming months. Awhile back I jumped on the SwoleCat wagon (which is now a Greyhound bus doing 75 in a 50 ) and it really made me focus when i would update my online journal everyday and you guys here really helped me stay on track. I have decided to take this sadness and turn it into some positive thinking and a transformation for myself by the time my girl returns. I will call venture "SADNESS for FATNESS" I am going to work on a diet while I am at work today and then post it tonight and I will update the journal everyday with pertitent information about the day. I know you guys will be here to give me positive feedback and I will GREATLY appreciate it.
This is going to be 12+ weeks which I believe will allow me enough time to really make a change. It will allow me to be completly focused on myself and the days will just fly by.
I was thinking of just adding it to this forum or should I make a new thread?? I've already got a ton of good bros from the board checking this thread out, so I am not sure.
On an end note when this is all through I wish I could buy everyone a round and we could all kickback to BS about everything because this board has a bunch of really good people. Im out!

Peace

Farmer

[SwoleCat]

I have been thinking bros and I decided on what is really going to allow me to focus and fly through the upcoming months. Awhile back I jumped on the SwoleCat wagon (which is now a Greyhound bus doing 75 in a 50 ) and it really made me focus when i would update my online journal everyday and you guys here really helped me stay on track. I have decided to take this sadness and turn it into some positive thinking and a transformation for myself by the time my girl returns. I will call venture "SADNESS for FATNESS" Peace

Farmer

You know you can hit me up for a kick in the pants if you need it.



~SC~

[Sierra_Breeze]

Aww, I'm sorry for all the pain you two are experiening right now, and I can relate, as I type I'm awaiting a phone call to go pick up my husband of 18 years and my son, who have been gone sense early Thursday To Columbus, Ohio for the Mopar Nationals.

I know 4 days fails to compare with 3-5 months but the first couple days are always the hardest, and as stated already you just need to find something else positive to focus on, to help pass the time.( Or clean everything twice over like a mad man)

Instead of looking at it as one more day you're apart try looking at it as a day closer to her return! And the letters, that were suggested, if that's not possible, and you can't communicate via mail or phone, try keeping a journal, maybe just for yourself, or you could keep an "I miss you journal" and write something sweet, like how much you miss her that particular day, or something to that effect. And give it to her upon her arival back home, I'm sure she'd love to know how much she was missed.

Anyway, my best to you both, and bless your heart farmer, it will get easier, it just takes a while. Best of luck to ya. and take care

Ps, I know, you'd think after 18 years I'd be glad to send him away for a while, but I'm not I miss him desperately Go figure!

[juicehoe]

Juicehoe- Thanks bro, now would be a great time for a cycle but I am not ready yet and still too young for my taste (21yrs)

Thats respectable, so some other advice is to keep yourself busy. This is key because the more free time u have to yourself... the more time u have to just dwell and think about her. Go out with your friends, work more hours or get a second job, find new hobbies. What ever it might be it doesnt matter as long as your not just sitting around. But nights will still be hard because none of that stuff will keep you warm at night and if your like me you may have a hard time going to sleep due to you thinking of her. So try to trier yourself out at the gym or going out and playing a football game (something to that effect) that way when u get home u just fall asleep.
I myself hit the juice, focused on my eating, gym time, and pretty much just focused on myself. Also i worked as much as i could and the little free time i had i went out with friends. Good luck... im still waiting for my baby to come back

[lamb88ert]

yea, i really feel your pain sierra as i have to sit in this hell hole they call ohio everyday...lol

farmer i wouldnt worry about it to the extent of going on anti-depressants because ur girl is goin on a reality show, just man up and try to not think about the ****, my girl went to florida for a few weeks and i kinda just felt empty, i kno what your goin through but the only thing that helps for me really is bein with all my boys and goin out and ****..As for the 5-10 minutes a week telephone time....does the show have your relation involved to the point where you need minimal contact or they just dont want show info leakin out? and around what month will the show be airing? (just wondering)

[HeartDocMD]

3-5 months will fly by trust me...keep yourself active in work/school or whatever you spend most of your time doing. When I was entering medical school, I had a very close friend who was dating this beautiful, amazing girl...however, she didn't get into medical school...and ended up in St. George for medical school. Well, she was there for 2 years, her and my friend spoke once a week, and saw each other rarely. Now they are married....think of it like this if its ment to be, its ment to be. I'm sure everything will work out for you in the end.

[Farmer]

I just got home from work and it was fine during the start of the day but after a while it gets slow which gives me downtime to start thinking. It got pretty bad but I was able to speak with my mom on the phone for a bit and that really helped a lot. She also suggested the jotting things down in a journal and such. I think I will be doing that just to kind've get things out sometimes.

Sierra: Glad that the family will be back together again! Thank you for the advice, I really think the cleaning is going to come in handy because my room is a little messy
Juice: Thanks for the input bro, I am definently gonna be hanging out with my friends some more and killing time that way. Best of luck to you and your girl when she returns!
Lam88ert: Thanks for the words, I am not totally sure the reason behind the minimal phone time but I am guessing it is for confidentiality. Hopefully when I get my first phone call from her I can find out how often I can expect to hear from her.
HeartDoc: Thanks, I am definently going to keep busy. The summer quarter is over in a few weeks and then I am off until Sept 20th. I will be picking up more hours at my second job to help the time fly.
Swole: Thanks bro, I think I will start a different thread for my dieting. I want to keep this one on topic with what is going on because you guys are really helping!

Thanks again

Peace

Farmer

[cb25]

keep us updated man...this is free therapy for the masses, and we're here to help!!

[Farmer]

keep us updated man...this is free therapy for the masses, and we're here to help!!

I will definently keep you guys updated, and yes this place is great for free therapy

Peace

Farmer

[Farmer]

Just an update folks, things seem to be getting brighter. I am able to find the positives in this whole situation which are helping me out a lot.
I have to work all day today so I won't be posting that diet and everything until tomorrow.

Peace

Farmer

[co2boi]

You know the old saying..."time apart makes the heart grow fonder". I think this will make you appreciate each other even more.

[Farmer]

You know the old saying..."time apart makes the heart grow fonder". I think this will make you appreciate each other even more.

Oh it will for sure if I don't die first. Man the days drag on F-O-R-E-V-E-R now..I would pay anything to speed things up. The one positive thing I can pull from all this is that it gives me 3 months to get into the best shape of my life.

Peace

Farmer

[max-it]

Farmer, i'm glad to hear you are feeling better. I can not stress enough how staying busy will help you. The fact that you are going to pour it on at the gym is great. Keep your mind occupied as much as possible. Best of luck to you, keep us posted.

[Farmer]

Farmer, i'm glad to hear you are feeling better. I can not stress enough how staying busy will help you. The fact that you are going to pour it on at the gym is great. Keep your mind occupied as much as possible. Best of luck to you, keep us posted.

Thanks bro, I've got some sad news which in light of everything is very ironic. My girlfriend left her cat and dog at my house to be watched while she was gone. Well to make a long story short, I wake up this morning and her cat is gone. I seriously cannot believe it. I think she will understand, and hopefully it might turn up in a few days..oh well I keep telling myself the hard times define us.

Peace

Farmer

[Farmer]

Just a little update folks:

Heard she is doing good and everything and will hopefully be getting a call from her sometime this coming weekend so I am excited. I knew she was ok all along but my mind plays crazy tricks on me, especially when it involves people I love and really care for. So things are looking up for me I've been on with my diet and cardio is right on track, be up tomorrow for 35min on the treadmill. Little less than 12 weeks to go, gotta get my ass in shape

Peace

Farmer