So, my new wife hit me with "the question".,,.,. tears...

**Jdawg50** · 08-28-2004, 08:26 PM

When are we going to have a baby....
I fuking got married like 2 months ago.... wtf is it with women??
first they want the ring, then they want to get married ASAP, now its the baby thing.... can't we just chill for a year or two?

I love her, but she's killing me. I finished a huge cycle in June, and I think i still am a bit hypogonadal.... She just does not understand... I want the boys back at full force before we do anything else.....

Any advise bros?

**bmf2** · 08-28-2004, 08:47 PM

Talk to her and tell her how you feel... be honest...

**cb25** · 08-28-2004, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by bmf2

Talk to her and tell her how you feel... be honest...

this is the best advice...

not saying anything will only make it worse...you'll end up bottling up a resentment towards her. talk to her so she can understand...

and good luck man...

**Jdawg50** · 08-28-2004, 08:55 PM

I have, I told her i wanted to wait like 10 months.... I told her i need time to get myself syced up for it... I'm a total research prepare... make sure everything is OK kinda guy...
She said to me "Baby's are cheap...all the cost is diapers and milk for like a year????"
I bought a book the other day, it said "expect to spend 15-20% of your income on a new kid.... I just recently got my own dam expenses in order... let alone another 20%.... I have been doing the research.... And would you believe it.... She had a visit from aunt flow the next day...
Women... I love em and I hate em..

**khurrams** · 08-28-2004, 08:56 PM

Originally Posted by Jdawg50

When are we going to have a baby....
I fuking got married like 2 months ago.... wtf is it with women??
first they want the ring, then they want to get married ASAP, now its the baby thing.... can't we just chill for a year or two?

I love her, but she's killing me. I finished a huge cycle in June, and I think i still am a bit hypogonadal.... She just does not understand... I want the boys back at full force before we do anything else.....

Any advise bros?

You need to tell her that children are the most beautiful things that happens to a happily married couples but they have to get into that phase and be ready for this ultra huge responsibility.......Why don't you tell her that there is alot of planning required and this ordeal is way past just popping a kid out...Its another life we are talking about and since you guys have been married just for two month you still haven't overcome this joyeous sensation yet.....tell her that both of you will enjoy the married life for a while and then take a nice cruise or a vacation where you guys can bow the seed.....It will be memories and thats the way you had foreseen the future for the both of u's.....my .02 cents

**Jdawg50** · 08-28-2004, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by khurrams

You need to tell her that children are the most beautiful things that happens to a happily married couples but they have to get into that phase and be ready for this ultra huge responsibility.......Why don't you tell her that there is alot of planning required and this ordeal is way past just popping a kid out...Its another life we are talking about and since you guys have been married just for two month you still haven't overcome this joyeous sensation yet.....tell her that both of you will enjoy the married life for a while and then take a nice cruise or a vacation where you guys can bow the seed.....It will be memories and thats the way you had foreseen the future for the both of u's.....my .02 cents

Welllllll,
we have been living together for like 5 years......
SHe has a son from a previous marriage..... thats been living with me since he was 2 (5 years ago).... SO the whole new thing isnt really relavant....
I'm just not ready for an infant right this second.... I want to CHILLLLLLLL for another year... then do it... ya know..
The other problem is that her son (basically mine... dad is dead) is almost 8 yrs old and totally cool.. we hang out every weekend, and in the evenings... totally cool kid, but he's 8, and thats easy...

**khurrams** · 08-28-2004, 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by Jdawg50

Welllllll,
we have been living together for like 5 years......
SHe has a son from a previous marriage..... thats been living with me since he was 2 (5 years ago).... SO the whole new thing isnt really relavant....
I'm just not ready for an infant right this second.... I want to CHILLLLLLLL for another year... then do it... ya know..
The other problem is that her son (basically mine... dad is dead) is almost 8 yrs old and totally cool.. we hang out every weekend, and in the evenings... totally cool kid, but he's 8, and thats easy...

Whoaa!!.....In that case if she knows about your saucing habits then just be straight up to her and speak your mind.....You can't go wrong with that.......And just tell her that maybe you want an age difference between your step son and your baby atleast a 10 year difference so when you do have a baby your other son is 10 years old....that gives u almost a year and some change give or take to clear up your system......

**Jdawg50** · 08-28-2004, 09:11 PM

tick tick tick.... ya hear that
she's 30 yrs old and her clock is ticking... thats the problem
to make things worse... she's a labor and delivery nurse.. that just graduated from nursing school and works on the OB floor of the hospital....
Bottom line bros..... I'll probably be a dad before you guys know it..

***SV-1*** · 08-28-2004, 09:19 PM

Wow, you're living my worst nightmare. Not only do I not have any kids, I got fixed so there wont be any in the future.

But like they say "different strokes for different folks".

**SwoleCat** · 08-28-2004, 09:22 PM

Originally Posted by SV-1

Wow, you're living my worst nightmare. Not only do I not have any kids, I got fixed so there wont be any in the future.

But like they say "different strokes for different folks".

Having a child, an extension of you, is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's a shame some past experiences have ruined that opportunity for you.

~SC~

**Psychotron** · 08-28-2004, 09:23 PM

I dont think I could deal with it, i have no patience, when something doesnt respond when I call its name i get irritated. Dealing with a puppy is enough for me.

**Jdawg50** · 08-28-2004, 09:25 PM

Yea, my stepson really is one of the best things that has ever happened to me... he really makes me think about things... that I normally would not think about.... It just has to be the right time I think... thats the issue for me right now... and I need another 10months to get myself ready for an infant

**samax64** · 08-28-2004, 09:30 PM

children will definitely change the way you look at things bro but you have to wait till you are ready

***SV-1*** · 08-28-2004, 09:32 PM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

Having a child, an extension of you, is the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's a shame some past experiences have ruined that opportunity for you.

~SC~

There aren't any past experiences that ruined anything for me. Some people love dogs, some can't stand them. Some love cats, some can't stand them. Most people love kids, I can't stand them. I've *never* wanted to have a child, never felt the *need* or *desire* once in my entire life, and I'm pretty sure I never will.

**UrbanLegend** · 08-28-2004, 09:37 PM

Originally Posted by SV-1

There aren't any past experiences that ruined anything for me. Some people love dogs, some can't stand them. Some love cats, some can't stand them. Most people love kids, I can't stand them. I've *never* wanted to have a child, never felt the *need* or *desire* once in my entire life, and I'm pretty sure I never will.

I bet you will meet someone special and change your mind

....but you probably won't meet them on AR, so its not going to be as easy as you thought

**Jdawg50** · 08-28-2004, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by SV-1

There aren't any past experiences that ruined anything for me. Some people love dogs, some can't stand them. Some love cats, some can't stand them. Most people love kids, I can't stand them. I've *never* wanted to have a child, never felt the *need* or *desire* once in my entire life, and I'm pretty sure I never will.

Hey bro... that works for me....
I'd rather you not have kids anyways....If you dont like em... u shouldnt have em... I wish the thousands of 14 yr olds on medicaid would do the same thing... I'm sick of paying for them to keep poping babies out.

***SV-1*** · 08-28-2004, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by Jdawg50

Hey bro... that works for me....
I'd rather you not have kids anyways....If you dont like em... u shouldnt have em... I wish the thousands of 14 yr olds on medicaid would do the same thing... I'm sick of paying for them to keep poping babies out.

Believe me bro, I agree. I tried to get a vasectomy when I was 21 but no doctor would do it (you're too young and you'll change your mind

). I tried again when I was 25 and they still didn't want to do it. I told the doc that if he didn't do it I was going down to Mexico and having it done there, after that he agreed.

**UrbanLegend** · 08-28-2004, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by SV-1

Believe me bro, I agree. I tried to get a vasectomy when I was 21 but no doctor would do it (you're too young and you'll change your mind

). I tried again when I was 25 and they still didn't want to do it. I told the doc that if he didn't do it I was going down to Mexico and having it done there, after that he agreed.

Holy crap, I didn't read your first post about you already being fixed

Well, I guess since you are sterile anyway you might as well stay 'on' year round......

**juicehoe** · 08-29-2004, 12:28 AM

Well i guess u got about 9 months left of good times

. J/K bro... tell her the deal. Im sure she can chill another 10months before making a baby

**Animal Cracker** · 08-29-2004, 04:41 AM

Originally Posted by Jdawg50

When are we going to have a baby....
I fuking got married like 2 months ago.... wtf is it with women??
first they want the ring, then they want to get married ASAP, now its the baby thing.... can't we just chill for a year or two?

I love her, but she's killing me. I finished a huge cycle in June, and I think i still am a bit hypogonadal.... She just does not understand... I want the boys back at full force before we do anything else.....

Any advise bros?

Tell her you want to wait it out a few and get everything stable and set-up! That is planning..she should understand.

**Jdawg50** · 08-29-2004, 08:13 AM

Thats exatly what i told her Bama.. TY!

**bermich** · 08-29-2004, 12:46 PM

If you dont want a kid yet, have the balls to stand up and tell her that. Dont be a puss and give in cause she whines about it and makes you feel guilty. All women pull that guilt trip crap when they know it will always work.

**max-it** · 08-29-2004, 12:52 PM

if your not ready then don't have children yet. having a child can be rough on a relationship, especially if you were against it from the start. i don't think waiting 10 months will kill her. good luck bro.