09-01-2004, 02:44 PM #1
Please be serious with this thread
Have any of you written poetry? For a loved one? Or do you just write? Have you ever had poetry written for you, what do you think of it?
09-01-2004, 02:48 PM #2
Yes I did for my GF, my first love. She loved it, it probably wasn't very good but it came from my heart and that's all that mattered to she or me.
09-01-2004, 03:03 PM #3
I write constantly.....and much of it has not been shown to anyone; it's my catharsis really. I've covered almost any and all subjects and some of it sucks and some of it turns out pretty **** good in my opinion. What little pieces i showed to professors for class assignments were met with an urging to pursue it as a publishable endeavor, but to me, it's intensely private, and I'll share it with a person, but not with people.
ALong thos lines, if anyone from AR that I *know* on some level or that seems like a legit person wants to read any of mine, there's some I'll share for feedback.
09-01-2004, 03:11 PM #4
i wrote it as part of my degree. Im better at prose.
09-01-2004, 03:17 PM #5
Big. I don't know if you trust me but I'd like to check it out. I wrote a lot when I was in HS and college. I became too jaded along the way to pursue it, I'd like to start again. Like you peple I know have asked me why I don't try to get stuff published in the past. I agree I don't know if I could bare my soul to that degree.
09-01-2004, 03:22 PM #6Originally Posted by 1victor
09-01-2004, 03:39 PM #7
of course but some guy stole em and said they were his.
09-01-2004, 03:40 PM #8Originally Posted by Decadbal
09-01-2004, 04:17 PM #9
big, from the way you word things you're obviously extremely intelligent, please post some love poetry for us that are less talented so we can score points with our girls, lol, jk.
09-01-2004, 04:38 PM #10Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
09-01-2004, 04:41 PM #11
i'm sorry man, i meant no disrespect, i've actually read some of your other posts and you are definitely one hell of a guy. Acting like a smart ass is the way i deal with serious situations. And i dont think anyone here would use your personal info to tear you to shreds, at least a good bro wouldn't, so sorry if what i said was offensive, but it was not my intent.
09-01-2004, 04:44 PM #12Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
09-01-2004, 04:46 PM #13
**** you and your big words (lambasting) anyway, i'd love to see some of your stuff, i'm betting its nothing short of spectacular
09-01-2004, 04:48 PM #14Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
09-01-2004, 04:49 PM #15
awesome bro, look forward to reading them
09-01-2004, 04:52 PM #16
Okay, here's one that might hit home with a lot of us....this is the only one for which I'll post my motivation for writing it. I wrote this immediately after my gf revealed to me that she was bulemic and it forced me to take stock of my own body image disorders more fully in addition to contemplating the sheer lunacy of it all....largely, and this is not at all inspirational, but the poem's structure and the them that underpins the large theme were inspired by the fact that until I wrote it, I refused to shower in the daytime without placing two towels over the window to block the sun since the mirror's lights were more flattering.
The mirror reflects the mistakes of the day
Light forgives sometimes
Light punishes today
Indiscretions – fleeting discipline short of super
Form concrete twisted by shame
The surface grotesque – seeded not content to remain
Fertilized by two of me: I’s
Roots entrench in the soul
From his left to my right
From which was given birth by light
We collide - form mangled now beyond sight
Light punished today.
Me. Not me.
09-01-2004, 04:53 PM #17
ANother one...kinda trippy
Turning backwards towards evolution
All that effort
To lament the one who wanted more than plain rock
Thumbs I want to say he didn’t deserve
Stain to say and here to stay
He started it all I know
because a she would not do this
She would be content to allow
Berries to stay berries among other things
Now superlatives wage war on a transparency of my heart
What can smudge and coat the most (afterwards we can fold it in half and see what we see)
Is the best that I feel the worst I can do?
Don’t say it at night – the words hang on a breeze
Guided gently to the ground by decorum or shame
Remain till the sun whisks them away
Don’t say it at day – words are heavy then
And as though a plant succumbing to a late frost
A deft deference can not support its desires to uphold – if only for appearance
Their landing will not be soft and can not be forgotten as molecules rise to fall again
As in night
So feel it while the superlatives fight on
Let your fingers brush the tips of another for a final second before Icarus is reborn
Soon it will be covered and the game of what we see
Perverted by an impatient birther of sight mimicked
Will be over
09-01-2004, 04:56 PM #18
wow, very deep man, i think we could all relate to that. You definitely have a real talent
09-01-2004, 04:57 PM #19
Also trippy...noticing a theme? And trust me, the 'essence' of this is not at ALL what it appears...i think you'd need to know my personal situation to see it as anything other than the 'cliched' interpretation that is abused in cheesey love songs. LOL
Before I Met You Before
I could reach down and say in romantic tones
I think I knew you before I met you
But is there romance in matter of fact?
Is there love in literalism?
I knew you before I met you – before sight nervously brushed hands with perception
and smiled awkwardly at hope in a way that makes you think they knew each other from way back
Wrapped in sentiment and dressed in impact, it remains still - just a fact.
Without reaching – devoid of tones
I can say
I met you before I met you – once.
Where you were I can’t for certain say
If you were even here
maybe attempting to make sense of the whole mess that stains on cave walls started
for the first time for you.
Though I can tell you where we were – where I met you that first time
And let you get away – in time/with time
We met where naïveté and the privilege of not knowing betrayal and hurt
Allow for the bliss of salt on bird’s tails
And the hope that the world will all follow suit
It’s there that I met you
But it was without that mineral to hold you, or knowledge, or knowing
And like firefly nightlights knew it’d be there in the morn….or mourn when it wasn’t
They escaped to the trees you were abandoned to logic
I met you before once. I’ve met you now twice.
Gone is blissful naïveté – in its place a salted desire.
09-01-2004, 04:58 PM #20
This is one of the few i've written FOR someone....
State not an attribute – beauty can not know permanence.
Time wears but not in time for what I mean
Fade to seen
Seen not but once for what it is
But seen always for what it IS is
And but once for what it was:
A striking scene seen as such if only for a moment.
Even dogs are captivated by snow – the first time.
The scene upon which was seen such promise:
doomed by the eventuality of promises made at funerals and graduations
Fade to seen behind where we actually smell childhood wonder
Snow besets delay; a sky becomes fear
Frogs – well they stay frogs, but not the frogs you saw first
It fades, it alters, it mocks and insults
Not by necessity, but necessarily it does
And there’s only so much
It fades – it must and this constant is promise
There is comfort in this though smells may be dying
But yours will not swear – will not succumb to the promises made
What is seen remains as perception and refraction intertwine in embrace
A curtain parts? A backdrop lifts? But yours does not fade.
09-01-2004, 05:01 PM #21
One of my earlier pieces where I still adhered to the rhyming as a structural dogma. Sorta cheesey, I know, but i have a soft spot for it still....
Silently, perhaps intrusively, I’ve watched the playfully flirtatious brush of wave upon shore –
and occasioned upon the chance sight of their tryst invaded as the heavens they pour.
As light laid a path of descent, I have been privileged to witness how darkness’s snow
births to silence a physical form as it comes to rest below.
While a summer’s breeze gives rhythmic inspiration to leaves my thoughts are uplifted –
given to individual dancers and offered to the horizon upon being sifted.
I have caught the clouds, in their ephemeral state, mimicking mountains in jest
aided in their mirage of genial deceit by a mischievous sun headed west.
From above I have seen the tears of immortals pooled on a love letter’s page – the parchment of earth
reflecting the totality of the sun in infinite parts; allowing a glimpse of fusion’s or fission’s poetic worth.
There are miracles in this world of regular occurrence given to see
At a cost no more than the true opening of eyes, I am wrapped in the solace of their ubiquity.
It is in the presence of a beauty undone by its own simplicity
That I cherish a renewed hope distilled and given to me.
Repetition of perfection can not detract from their essence – can not subdue their impact
There is a permanent resplendency in a miracle, from which not even regularity can detract.
Though in this recognition is accorded responsibility – to interrogate the soul of the beauty cast
and inquire with diligence as to whether it might be surpassed.
Might those miracles of beauty that nature disguises and forces us to earn
despite their simplistic perfection be bested in turn?
That question was answered the first time I saw you
and reanswered every time I lay eyes on you anew.
A beauty uniquely yours exceeds that which Gaia does so generously present
that it is confined to singular form, the universe does lament
As in a sole instant the infinite well in the deep glimmer of your eyes does reflect
a miracle of beauty which nature requires totality and repetition to effect.
09-01-2004, 05:04 PM #22
your knowledge and use of words is definitely over my head, but what from what i do undertand, its excellent.
09-01-2004, 05:16 PM #23Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
09-01-2004, 05:17 PM #24
and i hadnt seen the thread in awhile, but what have you decided to do about harvard?
09-01-2004, 05:21 PM #25Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
I think i've grown up a great deal in the last few months being forced to face those two situations, and, in doing so, i realized that harvard isn't the be all/end all of the world....a few months ago I woulda stepped over anything and everything that got in my way, now I realize it's JUST a school, regardless of the folkloric mythos surrounding it.
09-01-2004, 05:23 PM #26
thats a valid point, but also a dream is a dream, and if its been your goal to go there, then you should in no way give up on that. There is always the future like you said and harvard will always be there.
09-01-2004, 10:28 PM #27Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
However I don't think you have to totaly understand the meaning, of all the words he uses, as much as the way they just seem to pick you up and carry you along with them... or as much as the way they so gracefully flow along the page, as well as the manner in which they're grouped.
The manner in which he writes, is (by me) undescribable by words, I think as with most all poetry, or (thought collections) You're never really fully capable of truely understanding what they are describing, or writing about and it will mean different things to different people.
Each person can come away with such a varied conclusion of what he's writing about, but only he truely knows for certian, or does he??
You truely have a way with words, and structure, and I'd also like to add that, although I'm uncertian, as to what you're speaking about, for the most part, it was truely beautifully written, and it touched my heart, even without knowing exactly how to fully comprehend it.
I'm unsure of what your situation is exactly other than what I read, that it involves those close to you, but Best wishes and good luck at harvard, when the timing is right...I think you show great potential, and will succeed, in whatever you set your mind to...
09-02-2004, 09:22 AM #28Originally Posted by Sierra_Breeze
09-02-2004, 09:42 AM #29Banned
- Join Date
- May 2003
- lookin for a new home
I love to write, it is one of my favorite things in the world. A real good way to get my feelings out. It sounds gay but I'm a very sensitive person on the inside but I try to hide it for fear of being judged. That is why I write so I can get it all out. I am very poetic when I am under the influence (of weed) for some reason. I will try to dig up some of the poems I have written. I wrote one about VanGo's (spelling) Stary Stary Night painting. I submited it to my old schools poetry peridoical and it was published in it. Nothing award winning but it was from the heart and it was good... to me anyways.
Big Green you have a **** good talent bro! Don't let it go to waste.
09-02-2004, 10:22 AM #30Originally Posted by MrDezel
09-02-2004, 11:10 AM #31
Heres a quick one i wrote when i was like 16, fell in love with this girl. We would write to each other, i would write her a poem and she would reply in the form of a poem.
This is a quick 5 min poem i did when she moved away, missed her bad.
I will love you till i die, i cant explain it babe,
i dont know why, why i care so much about you,
no one can even try to take you away,
in my heart you will alwayz stay,
and until that special day, until we can embrace,
in my head, my heart and soul i'll see your face...
why is it you alwayz fall in love when you cant,
when you cant be close to that someone,
you wanna hold them and never let go,
alwayz wantin to see them, no chance to show,
why is it they alwayz live just out of yo reach,
but only round tha corner, they feel real close,
you wanna whisper to them you love them,
alwayz wantin to tell them that face to face,
why is it tha one i want i cant embrace,
why does this alwayz seem to happen,
when she writes, my face light up with emotion,
****, all this **** is never no fun,
it aint coz i wanna be near her, you know,
when you cant be close to that someone,
you wanna hold them and never let go.
Dont think im a good poet, but i spose i write how i feel n that so its good enough for me
09-02-2004, 03:10 PM #32Originally Posted by MESSY_UK
09-02-2004, 03:26 PM #33
do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.
09-02-2004, 03:43 PM #34Originally Posted by kc
09-02-2004, 03:52 PM #35Originally Posted by BigGreen
09-02-2004, 03:56 PM #36Originally Posted by kc
i do it if im going through a bad time, if something upsetting or stressful is/had happened. i would sit there for an hour and just write, pages and pages worth.
09-02-2004, 07:41 PM #37Originally Posted by kc
This is how I write most of the time, if I try and force, the words to come, they fail me, but if I just let my thoughts flow, out through the end of the pen, onto the paper, it sometimes frightens me, but I'm usually pleased with what I've written..
And sometimes after I read it back, I can't even tell myself, what I was writing about but it's very cleansing to the mind, when I let all my thoughts out, and make room for more. And then there are times when it's painfully obvious what I was feeling or thinking..but always feel refreshed after.
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