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Thread: Poetry

  1. #1
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    Poetry

    Hey

    Please be serious with this thread

    Have any of you written poetry? For a loved one? Or do you just write? Have you ever had poetry written for you, what do you think of it?

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    Yes I did for my GF, my first love. She loved it, it probably wasn't very good but it came from my heart and that's all that mattered to she or me.

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    I write constantly.....and much of it has not been shown to anyone; it's my catharsis really. I've covered almost any and all subjects and some of it sucks and some of it turns out pretty **** good in my opinion. What little pieces i showed to professors for class assignments were met with an urging to pursue it as a publishable endeavor, but to me, it's intensely private, and I'll share it with a person, but not with people.

    ALong thos lines, if anyone from AR that I *know* on some level or that seems like a legit person wants to read any of mine, there's some I'll share for feedback.

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    i wrote it as part of my degree. Im better at prose.

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    Big. I don't know if you trust me but I'd like to check it out. I wrote a lot when I was in HS and college. I became too jaded along the way to pursue it, I'd like to start again. Like you peple I know have asked me why I don't try to get stuff published in the past. I agree I don't know if I could bare my soul to that degree.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1victor
    Big. I don't know if you trust me but I'd like to check it out. I wrote a lot when I was in HS and college. I became too jaded along the way to pursue it, I'd like to start again. Like you peple I know have asked me why I don't try to get stuff published in the past. I agree I don't know if I could bare my soul to that degree.
    I'll gladly swap a piece or two if you'd like....PM me an email of some kind...or i can just cut and paste into PM, but i'm not sure if the integrity of the structure would hold and I write at least slightly from a structuralist perspective and it impacts my work significantly....so to fully appreciate it, the structure needs to remain.

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    of course but some guy stole em and said they were his.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    of course but some guy stole em and said they were his.
    How many times can I say i'm sorry??

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    big, from the way you word things you're obviously extremely intelligent, please post some love poetry for us that are less talented so we can score points with our girls, lol, jk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    big, from the way you word things you're obviously extremely intelligent, please post some love poetry for us that are less talented so we can score points with our girls, lol, jk.
    Honestly, i've shared more of myself, for better or worse, with this board than I have with those in my 'real' life. The insane intersection of community and anonymity just makes it the perfect environment in which to do so. Towards that end, i suppose i wouldn't mind openly sharing any of this....hell, those who have read my posts already know enough to tear me to shreds if they so desired, so what's a little more putting myself out there going to do?

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    i'm sorry man, i meant no disrespect, i've actually read some of your other posts and you are definitely one hell of a guy. Acting like a smart ass is the way i deal with serious situations. And i dont think anyone here would use your personal info to tear you to shreds, at least a good bro wouldn't, so sorry if what i said was offensive, but it was not my intent.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    i'm sorry man, i meant no disrespect, i've actually read some of your other posts and you are definitely one hell of a guy. Acting like a smart ass is the way i deal with serious situations. And i dont think anyone here would use your personal info to tear you to shreds, at least a good bro wouldn't, so sorry if what i said was offensive, but it was not my intent.
    LOL...no, you definitely were NOT...though you did, probably through my own fault, definitely misinterpret my post. I am seriously considering posting a few of my pieces for public critique here...and i was just thinking aloud above. My apologies if it came across as my lambasting you....

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    **** you and your big words (lambasting) anyway, i'd love to see some of your stuff, i'm betting its nothing short of spectacular

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    **** you and your big words (lambasting) anyway, i'd love to see some of your stuff, i'm betting its nothing short of spectacular
    Well, we'll see. I've accumulated enough respect for this board that I believe i could throw some of it up here with no worries. I'll put up two or three. I'm not a big traditionalist when it comes to poetry or creative prose...so there's very little rhyming and plenty of word play that often takes several readings to notice...I consider a lot of my poetry both an expression and a playful interaction with those reading it (not that i normally ever let anyone see it...so quite the enigma there) - almost as if I want to make them 'earn' the right to see inside my head. Sure, I'll throw up a few.

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    awesome bro, look forward to reading them

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    Okay, here's one that might hit home with a lot of us....this is the only one for which I'll post my motivation for writing it. I wrote this immediately after my gf revealed to me that she was bulemic and it forced me to take stock of my own body image disorders more fully in addition to contemplating the sheer lunacy of it all....largely, and this is not at all inspirational, but the poem's structure and the them that underpins the large theme were inspired by the fact that until I wrote it, I refused to shower in the daytime without placing two towels over the window to block the sun since the mirror's lights were more flattering.

    The mirror reflects the mistakes of the day
    Light forgives sometimes
    Light punishes today

    Indiscretions – fleeting discipline short of super
    Human
    Form concrete twisted by shame

    The surface grotesque – seeded not content to remain
    Fertilized by two of me: I’s
    Roots entrench in the soul

    From his left to my right
    From which was given birth by light
    We collide - form mangled now beyond sight

    Light punished today.
    Me. Not me.
    Both.

  17. #17
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    ANother one...kinda trippy

    Interlocked Superlatives

    Turning backwards towards evolution
    Across millennia
    All that effort
    To lament the one who wanted more than plain rock
    Opposable
    Thumbs I want to say he didn’t deserve
    Stain to say and here to stay

    He started it all I know
    because a she would not do this
    She would be content to allow
    Berries to stay berries among other things

    Now superlatives wage war on a transparency of my heart
    What can smudge and coat the most (afterwards we can fold it in half and see what we see)
    Best
    Worst
    Is the best that I feel the worst I can do?

    Don’t say it at night – the words hang on a breeze
    Guided gently to the ground by decorum or shame
    Clinging to
    Do
    They(?)
    Remain till the sun whisks them away

    Don’t say it at day – words are heavy then
    And as though a plant succumbing to a late frost
    A deft deference can not support its desires to uphold – if only for appearance
    Their landing will not be soft and can not be forgotten as molecules rise to fall again
    As in night

    So feel it while the superlatives fight on
    Let your fingers brush the tips of another for a final second before Icarus is reborn
    Soon it will be covered and the game of what we see
    Perverted by an impatient birther of sight mimicked
    Will be over

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    wow, very deep man, i think we could all relate to that. You definitely have a real talent

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    Also trippy...noticing a theme? And trust me, the 'essence' of this is not at ALL what it appears...i think you'd need to know my personal situation to see it as anything other than the 'cliched' interpretation that is abused in cheesey love songs. LOL

    Before I Met You Before

    I could reach down and say in romantic tones
    I think I knew you before I met you
    But is there romance in matter of fact?
    Is there love in literalism?
    I knew you before I met you – before sight nervously brushed hands with perception
    and smiled awkwardly at hope in a way that makes you think they knew each other from way back
    Wrapped in sentiment and dressed in impact, it remains still - just a fact.

    Without reaching – devoid of tones
    I can say
    I met you before I met you – once.
    Where you were I can’t for certain say
    If you were even here
    Perhaps asleep…
    maybe attempting to make sense of the whole mess that stains on cave walls started
    for the first time for you.

    Though I can tell you where we were – where I met you that first time
    And let you get away – in time/with time
    We met where naïveté and the privilege of not knowing betrayal and hurt
    Allow for the bliss of salt on bird’s tails
    And the hope that the world will all follow suit

    It’s there that I met you
    But it was without that mineral to hold you, or knowledge, or knowing
    And like firefly nightlights knew it’d be there in the morn….or mourn when it wasn’t
    It wasn’t.
    They escaped to the trees you were abandoned to logic
    I met you before once. I’ve met you now twice.
    Gone is blissful naïveté – in its place a salted desire.

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    This is one of the few i've written FOR someone....

    State not an attribute – beauty can not know permanence.
    Time wears but not in time for what I mean
    Fade to seen

    Seen not but once for what it is
    But seen always for what it IS is
    And but once for what it was:
    A striking scene seen as such if only for a moment.

    Even dogs are captivated by snow – the first time.

    The scene upon which was seen such promise:
    doomed by the eventuality of promises made at funerals and graduations
    Fade to seen behind where we actually smell childhood wonder

    Snow besets delay; a sky becomes fear
    Frogs – well they stay frogs, but not the frogs you saw first
    It fades, it alters, it mocks and insults
    Not by necessity, but necessarily it does

    Zero
    Some
    And there’s only so much

    It fades – it must and this constant is promise
    There is comfort in this though smells may be dying
    Not dissipating

    But yours will not swear – will not succumb to the promises made
    What is seen remains as perception and refraction intertwine in embrace
    A curtain parts? A backdrop lifts? But yours does not fade.

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    One of my earlier pieces where I still adhered to the rhyming as a structural dogma. Sorta cheesey, I know, but i have a soft spot for it still....

    Silently, perhaps intrusively, I’ve watched the playfully flirtatious brush of wave upon shore –
    and occasioned upon the chance sight of their tryst invaded as the heavens they pour.

    As light laid a path of descent, I have been privileged to witness how darkness’s snow
    births to silence a physical form as it comes to rest below.

    While a summer’s breeze gives rhythmic inspiration to leaves my thoughts are uplifted –
    given to individual dancers and offered to the horizon upon being sifted.

    I have caught the clouds, in their ephemeral state, mimicking mountains in jest
    aided in their mirage of genial deceit by a mischievous sun headed west.

    From above I have seen the tears of immortals pooled on a love letter’s page – the parchment of earth
    reflecting the totality of the sun in infinite parts; allowing a glimpse of fusion’s or fission’s poetic worth.

    There are miracles in this world of regular occurrence given to see
    At a cost no more than the true opening of eyes, I am wrapped in the solace of their ubiquity.

    It is in the presence of a beauty undone by its own simplicity
    That I cherish a renewed hope distilled and given to me.

    Repetition of perfection can not detract from their essence – can not subdue their impact
    There is a permanent resplendency in a miracle, from which not even regularity can detract.

    Though in this recognition is accorded responsibility – to interrogate the soul of the beauty cast
    and inquire with diligence as to whether it might be surpassed.

    Might those miracles of beauty that nature disguises and forces us to earn
    despite their simplistic perfection be bested in turn?

    That question was answered the first time I saw you
    and reanswered every time I lay eyes on you anew.

    A beauty uniquely yours exceeds that which Gaia does so generously present
    that it is confined to singular form, the universe does lament

    As in a sole instant the infinite well in the deep glimmer of your eyes does reflect
    a miracle of beauty which nature requires totality and repetition to effect.

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    your knowledge and use of words is definitely over my head, but what from what i do undertand, its excellent.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    wow, very deep man, i think we could all relate to that. You definitely have a real talent
    Thanks...sorta interested to see what others might have to say about it.

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    and i hadnt seen the thread in awhile, but what have you decided to do about harvard?

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    and i hadnt seen the thread in awhile, but what have you decided to do about harvard?
    I don't think I can go and I'm fighting like hell to get a deferment so I'm insured a spot in next year's class, but they don't generally grant them for these sorts of things. I'll know by manana hopefully. I just know I couldn't get through the rigors this year between my girlfriend's problem and my brother's situation...there's just far too much on my plate. Harvard has been there for a LONG time and will still be there. If not, Stanford or Berkeley might be fun....Harvard caliber profs and student body but palm trees and sunshine instead of fog and sleet.

    I think i've grown up a great deal in the last few months being forced to face those two situations, and, in doing so, i realized that harvard isn't the be all/end all of the world....a few months ago I woulda stepped over anything and everything that got in my way, now I realize it's JUST a school, regardless of the folkloric mythos surrounding it.

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    thats a valid point, but also a dream is a dream, and if its been your goal to go there, then you should in no way give up on that. There is always the future like you said and harvard will always be there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    your knowledge and use of words is definitely over my head, but what from what i do undertand, its excellent.
    As it is mine too, to an extent..

    However I don't think you have to totaly understand the meaning, of all the words he uses, as much as the way they just seem to pick you up and carry you along with them... or as much as the way they so gracefully flow along the page, as well as the manner in which they're grouped.

    The manner in which he writes, is (by me) undescribable by words, I think as with most all poetry, or (thought collections) You're never really fully capable of truely understanding what they are describing, or writing about and it will mean different things to different people.

    Each person can come away with such a varied conclusion of what he's writing about, but only he truely knows for certian, or does he??

    You truely have a way with words, and structure, and I'd also like to add that, although I'm uncertian, as to what you're speaking about, for the most part, it was truely beautifully written, and it touched my heart, even without knowing exactly how to fully comprehend it.

    I'm unsure of what your situation is exactly other than what I read, that it involves those close to you, but Best wishes and good luck at harvard, when the timing is right...I think you show great potential, and will succeed, in whatever you set your mind to...

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sierra_Breeze
    You're never really fully capable of truely understanding what they are describing, or writing about and it will mean different things to different people.

    Each person can come away with such a varied conclusion of what he's writing about, but only he truely knows for certian, or does he??
    And i think that's one of the most interesting aspects of all creative writing. Once an author completes a work, is any special claim to artistic 'ownership' and authority relinquished? Using my example, perhaps I did not relinquish these 'rights' upon completing the piece, but I believe that I did the moment I shared it with you all. To give a real world example, a person very close to me wrote a poem which I read...in it I saw symbolic reference after symbolic reference to a funeral. Word choices, structure, flow, etc...it ALL literally *screamed* funerary procession and the grieving process to me. Turns out she had written the piece with an eye towards describing the process of a couple being forced to part in the morning as one awoke for work earlier than the other. Is my interpretation, which was not wildly imaginative, but backed by the 'facts' correlating with my interpretation, any less valid? Likewise, while I wrote each of those pieces with a very definitive feeling or situation in mind, if 'you' interpret it different with justification, who am I to tell you you are incorrect? That's what I love about this stuff.

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    I love to write, it is one of my favorite things in the world. A real good way to get my feelings out. It sounds gay but I'm a very sensitive person on the inside but I try to hide it for fear of being judged. That is why I write so I can get it all out. I am very poetic when I am under the influence (of weed) for some reason. I will try to dig up some of the poems I have written. I wrote one about VanGo's (spelling) Stary Stary Night painting. I submited it to my old schools poetry peridoical and it was published in it. Nothing award winning but it was from the heart and it was good... to me anyways.

    Big Green you have a **** good talent bro! Don't let it go to waste.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDezel
    I love to write, it is one of my favorite things in the world. A real good way to get my feelings out. It sounds gay but I'm a very sensitive person on the inside but I try to hide it for fear of being judged. That is why I write so I can get it all out. I am very poetic when I am under the influence (of weed) for some reason. I will try to dig up some of the poems I have written. I wrote one about VanGo's (spelling) Stary Stary Night painting. I submited it to my old schools poetry peridoical and it was published in it. Nothing award winning but it was from the heart and it was good... to me anyways.
    Yeah, i'd love to see some of your stuff...posted up here if you don't consider it too intrusive. My favorite thing about this board is the manner in which it defies stereotypes, and I think having an "AR poetry library" of sorts would be kinda cool.

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    Heres a quick one i wrote when i was like 16, fell in love with this girl. We would write to each other, i would write her a poem and she would reply in the form of a poem.


    This is a quick 5 min poem i did when she moved away, missed her bad.

    I will love you till i die, i cant explain it babe,
    i dont know why, why i care so much about you,
    no one can even try to take you away,
    in my heart you will alwayz stay,
    and until that special day, until we can embrace,
    in my head, my heart and soul i'll see your face...


    heres another

    why is it you alwayz fall in love when you cant,
    when you cant be close to that someone,
    you wanna hold them and never let go,
    alwayz wantin to see them, no chance to show,
    why is it they alwayz live just out of yo reach,
    but only round tha corner, they feel real close,
    you wanna whisper to them you love them,
    alwayz wantin to tell them that face to face,
    why is it tha one i want i cant embrace,
    why does this alwayz seem to happen,
    when she writes, my face light up with emotion,
    ****, all this **** is never no fun,
    it aint coz i wanna be near her, you know,
    when you cant be close to that someone,
    you wanna hold them and never let go.



    Dont think im a good poet, but i spose i write how i feel n that so its good enough for me

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by MESSY_UK

    Dont think im a good poet, but i spose i write how i feel n that so its good enough for me
    And that's all i've ever really cared about. There's some poetry that supposed to be the pinnacle of human writing that I just can't stomach, and then there's some that's never received much in the way of accolades or kudos that I absolutely love. Truth be told, i wouldn't recognize traditionally 'good' poetry if it bit me...what makes it 'good' to me is when i can tell there's a person behind it struggling with what it means to be human in some way.

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    do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.
    Oh, absolutely. That can be incredibly fun but also incredibly frightening when you get really into it and then look at what you've put down after a good run.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Oh, absolutely. That can be incredibly fun but also incredibly frightening when you get really into it and then look at what you've put down after a good run.
    definately....what a huge stress reliever too! I have an entire book just of this type of writing....it's amazing what you can polish up and into an actual piece as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

    i do it if im going through a bad time, if something upsetting or stressful is/had happened. i would sit there for an hour and just write, pages and pages worth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    do any of you do "free association" writing? When you just grab a pen, set a time for 15 minutes and don't stop writing, who cares if it makes sense. I get some of my best stuff from those.....and learn a hellofalot about myself in the process.

    This is how I write most of the time, if I try and force, the words to come, they fail me, but if I just let my thoughts flow, out through the end of the pen, onto the paper, it sometimes frightens me, but I'm usually pleased with what I've written..

    And sometimes after I read it back, I can't even tell myself, what I was writing about but it's very cleansing to the mind, when I let all my thoughts out, and make room for more. And then there are times when it's painfully obvious what I was feeling or thinking..but always feel refreshed after.

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