A New Show:All My AR Childern

[IntensityX]

Characters:

BDTR-A mean and tough bouncer who lives in a one bedrrom apartment above a room full of lesbian nymphos

Swolecat-A dietician who spots a third nipple on his back

The Original Jason-Brother of The Original Freddy,a former camp counsoler who's now an axe carring hockey mask wearing serial killer

956Vette-A former race car driver,now a plastic surgeon who's hit rock bottom due to booze and cheap sex

Ironfist-A shoot fighter recently arrested for barfighting and calling Ken Shammrocks mother a dirty scanky bottom dwelling whore

I'll come up with some scenerios later unless someone wants to come up with some

[LeanMeOut]

OMG I can't wait to see what your custom username and title will be after this

[IntensityX]

OMG I can't wait to see what your custom username and title will be after this

I hope the good folks at AR realize that this is just for fun

[Doc M]

Doc M- A former cosmetic surgeon who decided to leave the pressure and move out to Beverly Hills where he made it as a famous "Pool Boy"..His claim to fame was the service he provided to all of the beautiful, lonely women of Beverly Hills..

[rambo]

Rambo- A lonely, goatherding, transgendered Peeping Tom whose only solace comes from his weekly masturbathons to pictures of RON.

[Dally]

dally.... the token retard.

oops mentally handicapped.... but with a HUGE WANG!!!!

[purplelaceteddy]

lol your a nut IX..................................btw i'm over here too.....

[IntensityX]

lol your a nut IX..................................btw i'm over here too.....

Man you're picking up men over here at AR too,what WCB not big enough lol

[IntensityX]

lol your a nut IX..................................btw i'm over here too.....

Who's a nut and you're who again,don't I know you from somewhere lol

[palme]

Nice ass-ets'

[SwoleCat]

Why did I have to get cursed w/ a third nipple??

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~SC~

[OGPackin]

Why did I have to get cursed w/ a third nipple??

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~SC~

Better question bro would be....how does he know u have a third nipple on ur back....? Things that makeya go hmmmm......

OG

[956Vette]

Better question bro would be....how does he know u have a third nipple on ur back....? Things that makeya go hmmmm......

OG

Poor swole!

[SwoleCat]

As long as he doesn't disclose what's on my left shoulder!!

~SC~

[Juggernaut]

We start this week’s episode of “As the Bar Bends” with BDTR searching frantically for his favorite pair of pink thong underwear. He calls them his “lucky pinkies” and without them his workouts will suffer. His roommate, Original Jason, has offered no help other then to suggest he follow the smell. He’s always considered Bd a pig due to poor hygiene and only after moving in to the apartment was this suspicion confirmed. They truly are the odd couple…..Jason being more like the Felix character.

Meanwhile, across town, Cycleon waits for his training partner to show up at the gym. This makes the third time in less than three weeks that Swolecat hasn’t been on time. He thinks it’s because Swole spends far too much time getting his legs waxed. Little did he know Swole was looking at toupees and had lost track of time. As Swole hurriedly races towards the gym Cycleon decides he’ll go ahead and warm up while waiting and heads straight to the juice bar. A couple of Shirley Temples will help calm his nerves. Thinking the whole time that if Swole brings up the fact he has a photo shoot and will be on the cover of this months addition of “Flaming Lifters” he’s going to punch him in his third nipple.

After having no luck in finding his thong, Bd decides to settle for the matching bra. Dressed and heading out the door to yet another job interview he ponders if his life’s ambition to become a ballet dancer will ever come true. As well as to if his bouncer buddies will ever learn this dark secret.

At the local dinner Vette and Ron are once again arguing over which of the two has the shortest penis. Ron’s positive he has Vette beat hands down and throws a fifty on the table.

Little do any of our friends realize a problem is brewing and it will require each of these men to search deep within themselves and find the courage to save the planet…………………Except Ron whose still looking in his pants. Something which infuriates Nathan to no end.

[chicamahomico]

Juggy, that is a work of art...lol

[Jantzen4k]

Characters:

BDTR-A mean and tough bouncer who lives in a one bedrrom apartment above a room full of lesbian nymphos

Swolecat-A dietician who spots a third nipple on his back

The Original Jason-Brother of The Original Freddy,a former camp counsoler who's now an axe carring hockey mask wearing serial killer

956Vette-A former race car driver,now a plastic surgeon who's hit rock bottom due to booze and cheap sex

Ironfist-A shoot fighter recently arrested for barfighting and calling Ken Shammrocks mother a dirty scanky bottom dwelling whore

I'll come up with some scenerios later unless someone wants to come up with some

[Maraxus]

Ooooh this can get really good lol.

[purplelaceteddy]

Who's a nut and you're who again,don't I know you from somewhere lol

Watch it boy....i've got MOD connections here.....you might get a name change ........

[SwoleCat]

As long as me and PLT eventually hook-up somehow in that hot-tub of her's w/Crystal, sushi, and other popular "accessories", I'm in for at least a season!



~SC~

[purplelaceteddy]

Swole I thought we had a torrid affair in the gym ...with a love child in the outcome...you swore you loved me....even said you were going to leave your wife just to be with me.....now....look at me.....i'm a single parent....and your still..with HER...

[KeyMastur]

don't forget about this guy :

IntensityX - the guy who quit school, quit his night shift job at the 24 hour mcdonalds, moved back in with his parents and gay brother, and does nothing all day but sit behind his computer screen and try to create new characters for a fantasy tv show in his mind.

now that's a **** good show

[BigGreen]

All my AR Children Episode 2.13
Eyes Only Script

The camera pans in on an old riverboat casino. It is deserted save for a lone flickering light that cuts through the black of the swamp. As the camera zooms in on the light, it is revealed that a group of five men huddle in a circle, observing something in the middle. It is clear that their collective intelligence is scarcely enough to focus on the as-of-yet unknown object. The one they call Juggernaut can no longer contain his desires - no longer imprison them to the constrictions of fantasy, and audibly requests a game of ookie-gookie-cookie to be shared by the five burly men. Before Juggernaut can register the fact that he has spoken his homo-erotic taboo aloud, a resounding shot from the gun of Big Ol Legs sends him realing over the edge of the riverboat and into the murky depths below.

(Pan to a shot of alligators swarming around Juggernaut's corpse...the alligators should have spiked shoulder pads like the legion of doom used to have in the old days of the WWF)

Pheedno turns to Big Ol and gives a look as if to suggest that ookie gookie cookie may not have been such a bad idea....they gaze longfully and willfully at one another and nod in the implicit agreement that the two will engage in their own games of homoeroticism once this matter about the kidnapped female is resolved.

Cycleon: It would appear then, that our gang has been reduced to four. This is most agreeable, as I believe Ron's calculations will demonstrate that a billion dollars divided by four is more than a billion dollars divided by five...isn't that correct, Ron?

Ron: The computer should be printing out the answer to that shortly.
(Ron heads to the corner to reveal that this old riverboat in fact serves as a highly advanced hide-out for this gang, as all kinds of metal objects with blinking lights adorn the walls. BigOl gives a noticeable glance to Ron's junk and smirks).

Pheedno: So, how do we contact him with our ransom demands?
(the female, though bound with her mouth taped, glares knowingly at the group...unafraid as if she knows she has nothing to fear, but slightly offended by Pheedno's hygeine)

Cycleon: I have left notice with the one they call Big Green that his beautiful and stunning girlfriend is being held by us....our billion should be hear shortly.

the camera cuts to the river.....a noise cuts through the silence of the swamp, barely audible at first but growing ever louder. It is the umistakable lyrical genius of "It Takes Two" by Rob Bass. As the camera hurtles towards the sound, a blonde god of a man who might be mistaken for Thor himself is seen surfing down the river with a monstrosity of a boombox upon his beautifully sculpted delts. Panning in even closer, the audience sees that this mystery man is surfing not on a surfboard, but on the corpse of Juggernaut. Though badly mangled by the gators, the board is surely the corpse of Juggernaut with one distinctive difference - he has had a large red racing stripe painted down the length of what remains of his body. The stripe unquestionably propels our hero down the river faster than would otherwise be possible, even with a motor and gas and such. Our hero sings along to the Rob Bass lyrics, the sheer miracle of his voice causing several of the hippos in the swamp to spontaneously ejaculate a frothy burst which only further lubricates the corpse/surfboard (especially the face part) and allows our thor-like hero to move even faster down the river.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

[partyboynyc]

Swole I thought we had a torrid affair in the gym ...with a love child in the outcome...you swore you loved me....even said you were going to leave your wife just to be with me.....now....look at me.....i'm a single parent....and your still..with HER...

can i play the love child??i can cry on cue and my firstwords were" baby's mama" so i'm a perfect casting!!

[Bigen12]

All my AR Children Episode 2.13
Eyes Only Script

The camera pans in on an old riverboat casino. It is deserted save for a lone flickering light that cuts through the black of the swamp. As the camera zooms in on the light, it is revealed that a group of five men huddle in a circle, observing something in the middle. It is clear that their collective intelligence is scarcely enough to focus on the as-of-yet unknown object. The one they call Juggernaut can no longer contain his desires - no longer imprison them to the constrictions of fantasy, and audibly requests a game of ookie-gookie-cookie to be shared by the five burly men. Before Juggernaut can register the fact that he has spoken his homo-erotic taboo aloud, a resounding shot from the gun of Big Ol Legs sends him realing over the edge of the riverboat and into the murky depths below.

(Pan to a shot of alligators swarming around Juggernaut's corpse...the alligators should have spiked shoulder pads like the legion of doom used to have in the old days of the WWF)

Pheedno turns to Big Ol and gives a look as if to suggest that ookie gookie cookie may not have been such a bad idea....they gaze longfully and willfully at one another and nod in the implicit agreement that the two will engage in their own games of homoeroticism once this matter about the kidnapped female is resolved.

Cycleon: It would appear then, that our gang has been reduced to four. This is most agreeable, as I believe Ron's calculations will demonstrate that a billion dollars divided by four is more than a billion dollars divided by five...isn't that correct, Ron?

Ron: The computer should be printing out the answer to that shortly.
(Ron heads to the corner to reveal that this old riverboat in fact serves as a highly advanced hide-out for this gang, as all kinds of metal objects with blinking lights adorn the walls. BigOl gives a noticeable glance to Ron's junk and smirks).

Pheedno: So, how do we contact him with our ransom demands?
(the female, though bound with her mouth taped, glares knowingly at the group...unafraid as if she knows she has nothing to fear, but slightly offended by Pheedno's hygeine)

Cycleon: I have left notice with the one they call Big Green that his beautiful and stunning girlfriend is being held by us....our billion should be hear shortly.

the camera cuts to the river.....a noise cuts through the silence of the swamp, barely audible at first but growing ever louder. It is the umistakable lyrical genius of "It Takes Two" by Rob Bass. As the camera hurtles towards the sound, a blonde god of a man who might be mistaken for Thor himself is seen surfing down the river with a monstrosity of a boombox upon his beautifully sculpted delts. Panning in even closer, the audience sees that this mystery man is surfing not on a surfboard, but on the corpse of Juggernaut. Though badly mangled by the gators, the board is surely the corpse of Juggernaut with one distinctive difference - he has had a large red racing stripe painted down the length of what remains of his body. The stripe unquestionably propels our hero down the river faster than would otherwise be possible, even with a motor and gas and such. Our hero sings along to the Rob Bass lyrics, the sheer miracle of his voice causing several of the hippos in the swamp to spontaneously ejaculate a frothy burst which only further lubricates the corpse/surfboard (especially the face part) and allows our thor-like hero to move even faster down the river.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

Man, I can't wait for this to come out on DVD.....

[BigGreen]

Man, I can't wait for this to come out on DVD.....

The most important part is that Juggy got his face covered in hippo cum.

[purplelaceteddy]

can i play the love child??i can cry on cue and my firstwords were" baby's mama" so i'm a perfect casting!!

I KNEW it..you do have a sensitive side....sure come to Mama...it'll be ok.....look a love child your age still shouldn't be breast fed.....i'm gonna have to wean you sometime...

[purplelaceteddy]

BIGEN...you better get on the mailing list now...hes just going to release a certain # of copies.....

[Bigen12]

BIGEN...you better get on the mailing list now...hes just going to release a certain # of copies.....

Without a doubt...

[Bigen12]

The most important part is that Juggy got his face covered in hippo cum.

Isn't it funny how the little things in life, mean so much and make us so happy...

[Juggernaut]

All my AR Children Episode 2.13
Eyes Only Script

The camera pans in on an old riverboat casino. It is deserted save for a lone flickering light that cuts through the black of the swamp. As the camera zooms in on the light, it is revealed that a group of five men huddle in a circle, observing something in the middle. It is clear that their collective intelligence is scarcely enough to focus on the as-of-yet unknown object. The one they call Juggernaut can no longer contain his desires - no longer imprison them to the constrictions of fantasy, and audibly requests a game of ookie-gookie-cookie to be shared by the five burly men. Before Juggernaut can register the fact that he has spoken his homo-erotic taboo aloud, a resounding shot from the gun of Big Ol Legs sends him realing over the edge of the riverboat and into the murky depths below.

(Pan to a shot of alligators swarming around Juggernaut's corpse...the alligators should have spiked shoulder pads like the legion of doom used to have in the old days of the WWF)

Pheedno turns to Big Ol and gives a look as if to suggest that ookie gookie cookie may not have been such a bad idea....they gaze longfully and willfully at one another and nod in the implicit agreement that the two will engage in their own games of homoeroticism once this matter about the kidnapped female is resolved.

Cycleon: It would appear then, that our gang has been reduced to four. This is most agreeable, as I believe Ron's calculations will demonstrate that a billion dollars divided by four is more than a billion dollars divided by five...isn't that correct, Ron?

Ron: The computer should be printing out the answer to that shortly.
(Ron heads to the corner to reveal that this old riverboat in fact serves as a highly advanced hide-out for this gang, as all kinds of metal objects with blinking lights adorn the walls. BigOl gives a noticeable glance to Ron's junk and smirks).

Pheedno: So, how do we contact him with our ransom demands?
(the female, though bound with her mouth taped, glares knowingly at the group...unafraid as if she knows she has nothing to fear, but slightly offended by Pheedno's hygeine)

Cycleon: I have left notice with the one they call Big Green that his beautiful and stunning girlfriend is being held by us....our billion should be hear shortly.

the camera cuts to the river.....a noise cuts through the silence of the swamp, barely audible at first but growing ever louder. It is the umistakable lyrical genius of "It Takes Two" by Rob Bass. As the camera hurtles towards the sound, a blonde god of a man who might be mistaken for Thor himself is seen surfing down the river with a monstrosity of a boombox upon his beautifully sculpted delts. Panning in even closer, the audience sees that this mystery man is surfing not on a surfboard, but on the corpse of Juggernaut. Though badly mangled by the gators, the board is surely the corpse of Juggernaut with one distinctive difference - he has had a large red racing stripe painted down the length of what remains of his body. The stripe unquestionably propels our hero down the river faster than would otherwise be possible, even with a motor and gas and such. Our hero sings along to the Rob Bass lyrics, the sheer miracle of his voice causing several of the hippos in the swamp to spontaneously ejaculate a frothy burst which only further lubricates the corpse/surfboard (especially the face part) and allows our thor-like hero to move even faster down the river.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

OMG, hahahahaha.....I can't even type! "the sheer miracle of his voice causing several of the hippos in the swamp to spontaneously ejaculate a frothy burst which only further lubricates the corpse/surfboard (especially the face part)"........just as soon as I can stop laughing this story will be continued. hahahahaha **** that was funny.

[BigGreen]

Isn't it funny how the little things in life, mean so much and make us so happy...

Yup, like juggy's melon coated in hippo spunk...if I hadn't made that clear.

[Juggernaut]

Yup, like juggy's melon coated in hippo spunk...if I hadn't made that clear.

**** it BG, you couldn't let me live long enough to be in episode 2? You could have at the least let me have some burly man sex before my demise. Not to mention you could have let there be a few female hippos.......you're side kick, Purplelaceteddy could have rode in one one and save the day when you find yourself tied to the railroad tracks.

My cameo part still has me vexed. I could have been a contender!

[BigGreen]

**** it BG, you couldn't let me live long enough to be in episode 2? You could have at the least let me have some burly man sex before my demise. Not to mention you could have let there be a few female hippos.......you're side kick, Purplelaceteddy could have rode in one one and save the day when you find yourself tied to the railroad tracks.

My cameo part still has me vexed. I could have been a contender!

This is a soap opera you fool....you could very easily reemrge in a few episodes...or this whole thing could be a dream.
I think i'm going to write more now though.

[purplelaceteddy]

I could have been

harsh ...harsh world..ain't it....

[Juggernaut]

This is a soap opera you fool....you could very easily reemrge in a few episodes...or this whole thing could be a dream.
I think i'm going to write more now though.

Well that would be nice....if that happens I'd like to have large hands and feet. Try to work that fact in if you can.

I know PLT....shame isn't it?

[Juggernaut]

Rambo- A lonely, goatherding, transgendered Peeping Tom whose only solace comes from his weekly masturbathons to pictures of RON.

That is so wrong......you know it's more than once a week. hahahaha

[BigGreen]

RETURN FROM COMMERCIAL

As the camera voyeuristically brings the audience back to the corpse/surfboard scene, a close up of the surfboard's face, absolutely coated in hippo spunk, reveals that the corpse is not a corpse at all, but a living, breathing human being. Our hero notices this and elects to examine the situation. Finding the nearest breaking wave, our hero deftly navigates the board to its crest, flipping into the air and spinning 180 degrees upon the vertical axis whilst spinning 720 along the horizontal. Several inbred swamp people see this display of athleticism, and, through toothless smiles, express their appreciation for the trick. When our hero further expands the difficulty of the trick by reciting the magna carta, the inbred swamp people do not understand a word, but the noticeable manner in which they achieve boners bigger than any boner they ever had before tells us that some things, like a good looking man performing surfing stunts on a cum-soaked board fashioned out of a barely living human, transcend all barriers of language and culture. Several of the swamp people begin to make sweet love to a microwaved plastic baggie full of vasoline - further demonstarting the transcendatalism of our hero's exploits.

When the 'board' comes crashing down on the shore, our hero begins to speak to the board:

Hero: Dammit you dirty bastard, get yourself cleaned up!
Board: uhhhhhhghghhghghgghhggh
Hero: have some dignity man!
Board: uhhghghghghghghhgh
Hero: there is goddammed hippo jizz on your face!
(the camera reveals the truth of our hero's words in a most detailed fashion)
Hero: wait just one minute....I... I know you...

CUT TO COMMERCIAL (there will be a lot of these because the show will kick so much ass)

[Juggernaut]

I am soo going to get fired if I keep busting out in laughter.......Oh crap....here comes the boss....thanks a lot BG. Quick everybody act natural. hahahaha

[BigGreen]

RETURN FROM COMMERCIAL

The camera pans in on the scene we left: our hero standing over the human surfboard while, in the background, toothless swamp-men engage in group sex with a microwaved plastic baggie full of vasoline. The words, "...i know you, I know you, I know you......" echo as the camera does something funky to indicate a flashback is coming up.

Once the funky camera stuff is over we see an adolescent blonde, striking for his age. The audience should make the connection that this is our hero in his very early teens. He is aboard a boat. The sun shines delicately upon his fair but tanned skin, and drops of sweat glisten, falling down his arms only to pool in the canyons of his youthful muscles.

The camera violently pans away to reveal that our young hero is not on some sort of yacht or family trip, but rather he is on a pirate ship! He is being forced to swab the deck with what looks like a mop.

Pirate #1: How do you like swabbing the deck, young mr. green, not with the standard mop but with the severed head of your ninjitsu sensei?!? BWAHAHAHAHAH!
(the camera pans in closer to reveal that what appeared to be a mop IS in fact the severed head of a ninjitsu master)

Green: Please sir, allow me to stop swabbing the deck with the head of my former mentor.

Pirate #1: NEVER!!

Suddenly, the blonde lad takes the head and forcibly removes the pole. The pirate is convinced the lad shall try to brandish it as a weapon. Instead, the lad takes the pole, snaps it in half so there are two smaller poles and hurls them into the two crow's nests on the boat. Two pirates fall, segments of the pole having violently violated their anal cavities.

Pirate #2: it hurts so good!
Pirate #3: The pleasure is simply too great for me to reach for my gun....

Approximately 50% of the remaining pirates are so turned on by this anal humping display that they begin to gyrate against cannons, masts and even the mighty steering wheel of the ship. They bump and grind and bump and grind until sheer ecstacy causes them to pass out, whereupon most stumble over the edge of the boat, which no longer has any railings because the gyrations whittled it down to sawdust, and plunge into the sea below, where they are consumed by hippos. (the hippos should have old 1920's style football helmets on....like the kind without face masks). The other 50% of the pirates, however, are disciplined and prepared to fight. Our hero, then plunges his hand into the eyes of the head of his former ninja master and the ears of the head fall off to reveal two speakers. The head is not a head at all, but a boombox!! The ninja master was never a person at all, but some musical cyborg. The pirates all freeze momentarily and take a step back.

Without delay, our hero hits play and the resounding sound of Rob Bass' "It Takes Two" begins to rock the boat...both figuratively and literally. Our hero breaks into the sort of break dancing routine that would put carlton from the fresh prince of bel air into the paralysis ward of the local hospital. Spinning on his head, his adolescent mind cojures up a thought of how awesome it would have been if instead of pirates, the ship was full of mermaids but without the fish bottom half. This resulted in a massive erection which might have hindered other fighters, but, as a seasoned ninjitsu warrior, he quickly turned it to his advantage adn began spinning faster and faster on his head, his glorious member now a death machine forcing the bitch ass pirates to recognize first hand the deadly relationship between linear and rotational speed.

With all of the pirates vanquished, our hero goes below deck in an attempt to locate a microwave in which he might place his baggie of vasoline for celebratory purposes. There, in the dungeon, he saw a lone figure.

Lone Figure: (meekley) help me........please

Our hero karate chops the bars off the prison to free the pirate's prisoner. When the prisoner steps into the light he reveals himself as the one we'll all come to know as.....................JUGGERNAUT

CUT TO COMMERCIAL