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  1. #1
    BigGreen's Avatar
    BigGreen is offline Anabolic Member
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    one of my newer ones

    Apparently, people believe my writing, both prose and poetry, is incredibly 'dark'...

    Your murder preempted my suicide
    Guilt intertwined such that neither of the blind can dissect
    Careful planning where passion was absent as two letters
    when the presence
    open
    On the one morning that beats the sun to the door?
    Or unchecked passion against planning's half life
    Patiently expired
    Released
    To you let go

    For which the successful are not
    Normally punished
    My transgression still brings confinement
    Though without the promise of observed interactions and earned privileges
    Purgatory where closure was offered
    I took the bait

    And death will find me inconsiderately late
    When all that life offers
    Is the stench of sterility
    And the daily reward of refrain
    From vomiting on the white
    I'm already there

  2. #2
    Dude-Man's Avatar
    Dude-Man is offline Anabolic Member
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    entwined may serve you better than intertwined..

    although i like it, i like it a lot. probably about as much as your other one.

  3. #3
    BigGreen's Avatar
    BigGreen is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisAdams
    entwined may serve you better than intertwined..

    although i like it, i like it a lot. probably about as much as your other one.
    Maybe for the orality of it, but I'm an ardent structuralist and wanted 'neither' to serve as symmetrical syllable divide since one of the 'blinds' I'm talking about is justice (the other love as they have the greatest reputation for supposedly being blind) and in that manner the line somewhat mimicks the scales of justice, but with the 'fulcrum' being the word *neither*....thus, the cool little implicit message that, though both are said to be blind, they rest on a scale dependent upon neither being so....just a structuralist's way of saying that *neither* justice nor love is blind, particularly when they converge. Eh, i thought it was clever, but i'm also retarded.

    But long story short, i do agree that for flow of speech yours works better, but i'm a structuralist dammit; hear me roar!

  4. #4
    Dude-Man's Avatar
    Dude-Man is offline Anabolic Member
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    i'm an auralist.

  5. #5
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisAdams
    i'm an auralist.
    Who's getting owned in Fantasy Football....ahah

  6. #6
    DocHoliday's Avatar
    DocHoliday is offline Senior Member
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    whoa, what the fawk?


    Is this AR?

  7. #7
    Juggernaut's Avatar
    Juggernaut is offline AR Jester
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    Pretty heavy stuff there BG. More walks in the sunshine for you young man.

  8. #8
    JDawg1536 is offline "Rock" of Love ;)
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    Its a great day to be alive!!!!!!

  9. #9
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Pretty heavy stuff there BG. More walks in the sunshine for you young man.
    Go F yourself

  10. #10
    Juggernaut's Avatar
    Juggernaut is offline AR Jester
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Go F yourself
    If it'll put a smile on that face consider it done! Is lube allowed? hahahaha

    On another note; I got the ARFF stuff cleared up....got them on the phone, good thing because I did pay for four leagues, but everything is good to go now.

  11. #11
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    If it'll put a smile on that face consider it done! Is lube allowed? hahahaha

    On another note; I got the ARFF stuff cleared up....got them on the phone, good thing because I did pay for four leagues, but everything is good to go now.
    LMAO...that's priceless. Also, it was very nice of them to actually respond to my several emails. That's my one complaint with ESPN - they do a great job setting up a league, but a ****ty job providing customer service for it.

  12. #12
    rambo's Avatar
    rambo is offline The Lord God
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    Man, you really need a hug. Unfortunately, I'm incapable of expressing emotion. I hope you find someone else to comfort you, you sick and twisted deviant.

  13. #13
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
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    Can you write my Obit???

    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Apparently, people believe my writing, both prose and poetry, is incredibly 'dark'...

    Your murder preempted my suicide
    Guilt intertwined such that neither of the blind can dissect
    Careful planning where passion was absent as two letters
    when the presence
    open
    On the one morning that beats the sun to the door?
    Or unchecked passion against planning's half life
    Patiently expired
    Released
    To you let go

    For which the successful are not
    Normally punished
    My transgression still brings confinement
    Though without the promise of observed interactions and earned privileges
    Purgatory where closure was offered
    I took the bait

    And death will find me inconsiderately late
    When all that life offers
    Is the stench of sterility
    And the daily reward of refrain
    From vomiting on the white
    I'm already there

  14. #14
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    Can you write my Obit???
    Mention football in it!

  15. #15
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rambo
    Man, you really need a hug. Unfortunately, I'm incapable of expressing emotion. I hope you find someone else to comfort you, you sick and twisted deviant.
    I find my comfort by walking around in a wal-mart or similar outfit and attributing various concocted backgrounds and life stories to strangers...it's my catharsis.

  16. #16
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    Can you write my Obit???
    I'll write your obit if you photoshop something for me (i think it was you that said you knew your **** in that dept).

  17. #17
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    I'll write your obit if you photoshop something for me (i think it was you that said you knew your **** in that dept).
    You got it!

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