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  1. #1
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
    Commando_Barbi is offline AR's Arresting Angel Vet
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    If Dear Abby was a man....

    Dear Abby's replacement....

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

    A: Obviously your husband can't get enough of you! Knowing that there's only
    one of you he can only settle for the next best thing -> your best friend.
    Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get
    some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
    apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If
    you're still not sure, then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice
    meal while you think about it.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

    A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
    skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
    sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
    do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.


    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

    A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
    is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
    chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more
    peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
    better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean
    the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
    to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and
    your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

    A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it,
    do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
    videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a
    birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook
    him a delicious meal.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

    A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
    training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should
    be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay.
    What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he
    should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish!
    Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cook him
    a nice meal.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never
    giving me one.

    A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook
    him a nice meal.

  2. #2
    BigMike J's Avatar
    BigMike J is offline Anabolic Member
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    That Mr. Abby sure knows his ****

  3. #3
    hung-solo's Avatar
    hung-solo is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigMike J
    That Mr. Abby sure knows his ****


  4. #4
    Bryan2's Avatar
    Bryan2 is offline Supplement Guru
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    Hillarious

  5. #5
    slamd097's Avatar
    slamd097 is offline Banned
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    Don't forget the nice meal!! Geez woman...*looking around for Mrs salmd*

    Get in the kitchen and make me some pie!!

  6. #6
    PT's Avatar
    PT
    PT is offline DUNAMIS ~ AR-Elite Hall of Famer~
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    wow, that was a really good post. but if any guy dosnt know were a woment clit is then he shouldnt be having sex. if you start your finger at the girls hole and slide it all the way up till it wont go any more that is were the clit is. while that is the "hood" that covers the clit. i had alot of girls tell me that there past boyfriend or husband never knew that. when they go down on a girl they think your just supposed to lick around the hole or something. well thats allright to start off or if you want to tease your girl a little, but if you want her to cum you have to lick up higher. you have to lick her clit, and lick it hard and fast. but then again if every guy knew how to do that properly then your wives and girlfriends wouldnt need me. obvioulsy im joking about that last part. but just thought id teach a lesson on how to properly go down on a women. when i go down on a girl and make her cum id say about 80% tell me they have never came before from a guy going down on them.

  7. #7
    Juggernaut's Avatar
    Juggernaut is offline AR Jester
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    I see nothig wrong with that advice at all. What's for dinner Barb? hahahahaha

  8. #8
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
    Commando_Barbi is offline AR's Arresting Angel Vet
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    Whatever your heart desires my snouted one!

  9. #9
    znak's Avatar
    znak is offline Senior Member
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    All this talk about food it making me hungry, think I'll ask the wife for a bj and dinner.

  10. #10
    co2boi's Avatar
    co2boi is offline Anabolic Member
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    Wow, that dude is smart as fuk. Must have a couple of PHD's in human psych or something. Made me hungry and horny too.....strange.

  11. #11
    Juggernaut's Avatar
    Juggernaut is offline AR Jester
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Whatever your heart desires my snouted one!
    Perfect! Two bottles of red, one fireplace (with fire), a cold night, nice warm blanket, no lights and you in something comfortable. hahahahaha

  12. #12
    hung-solo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Perfect! Two bottles of red, one fireplace (with fire), a cold night, nice warm blanket, no lights and you in something comfortable. hahahahaha
    i take it the "no lights" is for her sake right? hahahaha you ugly sum ma ma bitch

  13. #13
    Juggernaut's Avatar
    Juggernaut is offline AR Jester
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    Quote Originally Posted by hung-solo
    i take it the "no lights" is for her sake right? hahahaha you ugly sum ma ma bitch
    Of course! If ugly were a badge of honor then I'd be the most highly decorated indeed. hahahaha

  14. #14
    hung-solo's Avatar
    hung-solo is offline Registered User
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Of course! If ugly were a badge of honor then I'd be the most highly decorated indeed. hahahaha
    your brother mass might have that decoration..but i guess you guys could share huh?

  15. #15
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
    Commando_Barbi is offline AR's Arresting Angel Vet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Perfect! Two bottles of red, one fireplace (with fire), a cold night, nice warm blanket, no lights and you in something comfortable. hahahahaha
    You got it!!!

  16. #16
    juicehoe's Avatar
    juicehoe is offline Anabolic Member
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    Amen to that

    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Dear Abby's replacement....

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

    A: Obviously your husband can't get enough of you! Knowing that there's only
    one of you he can only settle for the next best thing -> your best friend.
    Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get
    some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
    apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If
    you're still not sure, then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice
    meal while you think about it.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

    A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
    skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral
    sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to
    do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.


    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

    A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man
    is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out
    chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more
    peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship
    better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean
    the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns
    to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and
    your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

    A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it,
    do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to
    videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a
    birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook
    him a delicious meal.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

    A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
    training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should
    be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay.
    What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he
    should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish!
    Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cook him
    a nice meal.

    Dear Mr. Abby:

    Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never
    giving me one.

    A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook
    him a nice meal.

  17. #17
    PT's Avatar
    PT
    PT is offline DUNAMIS ~ AR-Elite Hall of Famer~
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    Quote Originally Posted by co2boi
    Wow, that dude is smart as fuk. Must have a couple of PHD's in human psych or something. Made me hungry and horny too.....strange.
    no, but im also probably not a sta wars watching virgin like your self. i said to myself as i was writing that, the first guy to jump in and critisize has no clue how to please his women orally. i guess im right. tell her to call me, oh thast right you probably dont have a girl.

  18. #18
    Slick Arrado is offline Member
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    Relax Pietro, he was probably replying to the "Mr. Abby" guy. I agree with your post 100% though, please a woman orally and she'll never leave. Okay, well you have to LOVE her too. :spudniklu

  19. #19
    Panzerfaust's Avatar
    Panzerfaust is offline Ron Paul Nuthugger
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slick Arrado
    Please a woman orally and she'll never leave. Okay, well you have to LOVE her too. :spudniklu

    You do?

    There should be a Mr. Abby..this guy knows his shiat...lol

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