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  1. #1
    Spoon's Avatar
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    Pick up lines that may get you killed!

    PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED


    1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
    2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
    3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
    4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
    5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
    6. You are so fine that I'd eat your **** just to see where it came from.
    7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
    8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go ****.
    9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
    10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving & your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
    11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
    12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
    13. Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?
    14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I= 69?
    15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

  2. #2
    PT's Avatar
    PT
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    dude i really like some of those. next timeim in bed with someone new im going to use the one about touching her bellybutton from the inside andthe if you were what you eat one. i like saying stupied **** like that in bed anyway its the only time i can really get away with it.

  3. #3
    DevilsDeity's Avatar
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    "Nice legs what time do they open?"

  4. #4
    co2boi's Avatar
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    lol, good stuff. Those will be fun to use when I want a girl to go away

  5. #5
    needmorestrength's Avatar
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    two of my fav's are.... "Girl you got somethings on your ass..My eyes" and "I can see my reflection in your eyes.. and **** I look good" lol

  6. #6
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    Loloolololooloooolool

  7. #7
    Dally's Avatar
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    I always liked ... I wanna rape the F*kin hell outta you bitch!

    ohhh yeah baybee.

    SLICK

  8. #8
    AandF6969's Avatar
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    So I'm balls deep in this 12 year old right? And then my clown nose falls off.....

  9. #9
    AnabolicBoy1981 is offline Anabolic Member
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    You forgot this one.

    Hey, that's a nice dress. It'd look even better crumpled up on my floor in the morning.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by AandF6969
    So I'm balls deep in this 12 year old right? And then my clown nose falls off.....
    haha how do you make a little girl cry twice? whipe the blood off your clown suit with her teady bear.

  11. #11
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    "Could I touch your belly button... from the inside!" hahaha I'm telling my girlfriend that one today before we do the nasty...

  12. #12
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    "Could I touch your belly button... from the inside!" hahaha I'm telling my girlfriend that one today before we do the nasty...

  13. #13
    DevilsDeity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AandF6969
    So I'm balls deep in this 12 year old right? And then my clown nose falls off.....



  14. #14
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    I may not be fred flinstone but i could sure make your bedrock

  15. #15
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    I can actually see #5 working if you have the kind of personality to pull it off. I'll try it and report back.

  16. #16
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    I can actually see #5 working if you have the kind of personality to pull it off. I'll try it and report back.
    Might want to rethink that BigGreen...I don't think you have the personality. hahahaha

    My fav...and I know you guys have heard me mention this one before but......screw ya it won't hurt you to read it again.

    Excuse me, could you help me find my puppy? I think he ran into this cheap motel room. hahahahahahah I love that one.

  17. #17
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    You wanna go **** and get a pizza?
    girl:no
    What, you don't like pizza?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Might want to rethink that BigGreen...I don't think you have the personality. hahahaha

    My fav...and I know you guys have heard me mention this one before but......screw ya it won't hurt you to read it again.

    Excuse me, could you help me find my puppy? I think he ran into this cheap motel room. hahahahahahah I love that one.
    Be careful there, Juggy. At your age you must have daughters around my age....and I'm not above marrying them just to piss you off.

  19. #19
    cb25's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Be careful there, Juggy. At your age you must have daughters around my age....and I'm not above marrying them just to piss you off.


    i love the pickup lines...

  20. #20
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Be careful there, Juggy. At your age you must have daughters around my age....and I'm not above marrying them just to piss you off.
    Depends.....what's your posture like? If it's good then you're a shoe in.

    But you might be right....I don't know if I can handle having grandkids that correct my sentence structure and spelling all the time.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotron
    haha how do you make a little girl cry twice? whipe the blood off your clown suit with her teady bear.
    That's fkn sick man.....I have a young daughter and if some guy told me that joke face to face, he better have a gun.

  22. #22
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Depends.....what's your posture like? If it's good then you're a shoe in.

    But you might be right....I don't know if I can handle having grandkids that correct my sentence structure and spelling all the time.
    Rest assured that my posture is slightly more upright than the sloping Neanderthals that likely come around courin' yer daughter at present. And you don't have to worry about the grandkids...the will not have the benefit of 'school' or 'learning', as I plan on having just enough kids to support a plantation of some kind to which I will retire to be taken care of by my offspring/servants.

  23. #23
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Rest assured that my posture is slightly more upright than the sloping Neanderthals that likely come around courin' yer daughter at present. And you don't have to worry about the grandkids...the will not have the benefit of 'school' or 'learning', as I plan on having just enough kids to support a plantation of some kind to which I will retire to be taken care of by my offspring/servants.
    If the next words out of your mouth are "and we'll live in a double wide trailer" then all I have to say is "welcome to the family...Son". Which crop were you thinking of growing...cotton or sugar?

  24. #24
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    If the next words out of your mouth are "and we'll live in a double wide trailer" then all I have to say is "welcome to the family...Son". Which crop were you thinking of growing...cotton or sugar?
    Tobacco. That way, there's not enough of a history that we'd be sued by the gov't or public interest groups for **** that went down in the 70's, but we'd still have a cash cow.

  25. #25
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Tobacco. That way, there's not enough of a history that we'd be sued by the gov't or public interest groups for **** that went down in the 70's, but we'd still have a cash cow.
    You are a visionary! Think you can give my brothers a job running the farm equipment? My brother Darrel and my other brother Darrel love drivin farm equipment.

  26. #26
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    ****!!

    Quote Originally Posted by AandF6969
    So I'm balls deep in this 12 year old right? And then my clown nose falls off.....
    that is ****ign great. best oen of all i love that. i have to start a conversation with that to see the reaction. everyone knows i'm a nutcase with the **** i say all the time so i'm sure no one will flinch, but its' worth a shot,haha.love it!!

  27. #27
    AandF6969's Avatar
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    HAha heres another "random weird $hit to say"

    So I'm fvcking this guy in the ass right? And he turns around and tries to suck my dick, i'm like "what, are you gay or something?"

  28. #28
    AandF6969's Avatar
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    So i'm fistfvcking this burn victim right? She's lovin it...

  29. #29
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    lovin it!!

    A&F is the man of the hour with this ****!!!!i need a pen and pad for the firts time in awhile!!too ****ing funny!!

  30. #30
    DevilsDeity's Avatar
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    he is on today

    funny stuff

  31. #31
    Dally's Avatar
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    A and F


    ever stabbed somebody and f*cked the hole?

  32. #32
    Spoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotron
    haha how do you make a little girl cry twice? whipe the blood off your clown suit with her teady bear.


  33. #33
    kloter1's Avatar
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    aandf **** your a funny bastard.

  34. #34
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Spoon
    PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED

    7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
    Hee hee hee that one is hilarious!


    One of my favorite...

    "Hey nice shoes, wanna fück?" hooyah!!!

    "Hey I'll put my finger in your belly-button."
    "Hey! thats not my belly button!"
    "Don't worry, thats not my finger..."

    Red

  35. #35
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  36. #36
    chevy44's Avatar
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    dude aandf6969 your hilarious.. in h.s. i used to sit at the table and when there was an awkward silence i would say," so i was ****ing this bitch right?" and it would end the sillence EVERY time. your pick up lines made me think of that... too funny

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