My gf wants space...

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 09:07 AM

I've just come back from a long weekend away to Prague, before which I had a bit of a barney with my missus.

Anyway I came back on Tuesday wanting to see her, but she didn't want to see me. She was being short and abrupt over the phone in the afternoon. I tried calling her in the evening, and her phone was off. I was getting worried, left a vm and a text asking her to call me, but she didn't.

The next morning, yesterday, she called me telling me that she didn't want to see me ever again. We have had plenty of fights before and told each other, out of anger that we didn't want to see each other, but this came as a complete shock. She was pretty adamant that she didn't want to see me and became very angry over the phone. She never wanted to hear from me or see me again. She was in a complete rage, so I agreed to leave her alone.

I left her a text just saying that I really love her, will miss her more than anything and hope she happy in the future without me.

Well a few hours later, during her lunch break, she called me, still quite mad with me, and I asked her why she was so angry with me.

While I was away, something traumatic happened to her, she wouldn't tell me what, but she was dead upset that I wasn't there for her. I didn't know what to say. I had been sending texts to her while in Prague, she never replied, but I could not make any calls.

She told me that if I want to carry on this relationship, she'd like me to be more understanding to her needs. I do lose my rag a bit with her, but I felt while I was away that the instability in my emotions has totally calmed down. But she wanted proof that I've become calmer. She wouldn't explain what proof, but also said she wanted time apart.

Usually I wouldn’t be happy with us not seeing or talking to each other, as we live about 50 miles apart and can only see each other every fortnight because of our work schedules. But I figured I should give her space as she may feel suffocated by me, especially as she is so angry with me at the moment.

She said she'd call me when she's ready.

It's only been a day and a bit, and I'm already worried if she'll never call again. I don't want to call her otherwise I'll go back on my promise.

How long can I leave her alone for, before I should assume she doesn’t want to know me, or before I can send her a short message asking her if she's ok?

Thanks,

T.

**SwoleCat** · 09-16-2004, 09:15 AM

I hope it all works out for you.

My advice is to leave her alone. You left her alone already and she immediately called you later on.

She'll do the same thing again in a few days, just wait it out.

~SC~

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

I've just come back from a long weekend away to Prague, before which I had a bit of a barney with my missus.

Anyway I came back on Tuesday wanting to see her, but she didn't want to see me. She was being short and abrupt over the phone in the afternoon. I tried calling her in the evening, and her phone was off. I was getting worried, left a vm and a text asking her to call me, but she didn't.

The next morning, yesterday, she called me telling me that she didn't want to see me ever again. We have had plenty of fights before and told each other, out of anger that we didn't want to see each other, but this came as a complete shock. She was pretty adamant that she didn't want to see me and became very angry over the phone. She never wanted to hear from me or see me again. She was in a complete rage, so I agreed to leave her alone.

I left her a text just saying that I really love her, will miss her more than anything and hope she happy in the future without me.

Well a few hours later, during her lunch break, she called me, still quite mad with me, and I asked her why she was so angry with me.

While I was away, something traumatic happened to her, she wouldn't tell me what, but she was dead upset that I wasn't there for her. I didn't know what to say. I had been sending texts to her while in Prague, she never replied, but I could not make any calls.

She told me that if I want to carry on this relationship, she'd like me to be more understanding to her needs. I do lose my rag a bit with her, but I felt while I was away that the instability in my emotions has totally calmed down. But she wanted proof that I've become calmer. She wouldn't explain what proof, but also said she wanted time apart.

Usually I wouldn’t be happy with us not seeing or talking to each other, as we live about 50 miles apart and can only see each other every fortnight because of our work schedules. But I figured I should give her space as she may feel suffocated by me, especially as she is so angry with me at the moment.

She said she'd call me when she's ready.

It's only been a day and a bit, and I'm already worried if she'll never call again. I don't want to call her otherwise I'll go back on my promise.

How long can I leave her alone for, before I should assume she doesn’t want to know me, or before I can send her a short message asking her if she's ok?

Thanks,

T.

your answer is lying in your post bro-----leave her alone..let her have her space, dont be pushy and nosey.. just let her go.. simply stated but very hard to do, trust me i know

**Juggernaut** · 09-16-2004, 09:18 AM

Got to go with Swoles words of wisdome there.....best to let her make the first call. She'll come around once she gets her head on straight.

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 09:20 AM

So no contact at all...

That's gonna kill me.

**Maraxus** · 09-16-2004, 09:22 AM

She'll call you when she's ready bro.

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 09:24 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

So no contact at all...

That's gonna kill me.

thats what she wants bro. hahaaha. **** women! but yeah leave her ALONE best advice anyone can give you.. to me it sounds like signs of a breakup but you never know thats why i said dont push it, let it happen

**Juggernaut** · 09-16-2004, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

So no contact at all...

That's gonna kill me.

Think of it like a game of chicken, two cars racing towards each other and the first to turn out of the path is the chicken, and you're behind wheel number two. Hang tight, she'll call.

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 09:25 AM

How long should I wait though, before I should get on with my life?

I totally want to be with her, but just waiting isn't good for anyone.

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

How long should I wait though, before I should get on with my life?

I totally want to be with her, but just waiting isn't good for anyone.

dont wait bro... dont wait at all. if she is not waiting for then dont return the favor!! be strong, keep your head up at all times and go do your thing bro!! she might realize that she made a mistake but then again she might not

**SwoleCat** · 09-16-2004, 09:27 AM

You move on now, because respect for yourself and your well being comes before respect for another, no matter how much you care about her.

Move on now...........go grab a 40oz. or two, fire up the grill, call over some buddies, etc. If it's anything like my past, once you do that she'll call about TWO HOURS INTO ALL THE FUN, bunch of friends over all buzzed n sh*t, grill going a zillion miles per hour w/burgers and the works, etc........

This is when you let the ANSWERING MACHINE HANDLE IT.

~SC~

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

You move on now, because respect for yourself and your well being comes before respect for another, no matter how much you care about her.

Move on now...........go grab a 40oz. or two, fire up the grill, call over some buddies, etc. If it's anything like my past, once you do that she'll call about TWO HOURS INTO ALL THE FUN, bunch of friends over all buzzed n sh*t, grill going a zillion miles per hour w/burgers and the works, etc........

This is when you let the ANSWERING MACHINE HANDLE IT.

~SC~

i like the way he thinks!!

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

You move on now, because respect for yourself and your well being comes before respect for another, no matter how much you care about her.

Move on now...........go grab a 40oz. or two, fire up the grill, call over some buddies, etc. If it's anything like my past, once you do that she'll call about TWO HOURS INTO ALL THE FUN, bunch of friends over all buzzed n sh*t, grill going a zillion miles per hour w/burgers and the works, etc........

This is when you let the ANSWERING MACHINE HANDLE IT.

~SC~

I'll probably wait untill after PCT, until I grab the 40oz

**Commando_Barbi** · 09-16-2004, 09:30 AM

Listen to the guys. Give her space or you will push her farther away. She'll call when she's ready, and if she doesn't, you are better off. It hurts, I KNOW, but if that's all you mean to her (that she doesn't call back) you are better off finding someone else.

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 09:31 AM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Listen to the guys. Give her space or you will push her farther away. She'll call when she's ready, and if she doesn't, you are better off. It hurts, I KNOW, but if that's all you mean to her (that she doesn't call back) you are better off finding someone else.

there you have it bro! spoken from a REAL woman that knows her ****!

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

I'll probably wait untill after PCT, until I grab the 40oz

consider it a cheat day!! and wile out bro!!

**SwoleCat** · 09-16-2004, 09:33 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

I'll probably wait untill after PCT, until I grab the 40oz

Ahhhhhhhh, the PCT definitely is not helping your yearning for her.......

You are gonna have to be XTRA tough at this point brutha!

~SC~

**63190** · 09-16-2004, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

I've just come back from a long weekend away to Prague, before which I had a bit of a barney with my missus.

Anyway I came back on Tuesday wanting to see her, but she didn't want to see me. She was being short and abrupt over the phone in the afternoon. I tried calling her in the evening, and her phone was off. I was getting worried, left a vm and a text asking her to call me, but she didn't.

The next morning, yesterday, she called me telling me that she didn't want to see me ever again. We have had plenty of fights before and told each other, out of anger that we didn't want to see each other, but this came as a complete shock. She was pretty adamant that she didn't want to see me and became very angry over the phone. She never wanted to hear from me or see me again. She was in a complete rage, so I agreed to leave her alone.

I left her a text just saying that I really love her, will miss her more than anything and hope she happy in the future without me.

Well a few hours later, during her lunch break, she called me, still quite mad with me, and I asked her why she was so angry with me.

While I was away, something traumatic happened to her, she wouldn't tell me what, but she was dead upset that I wasn't there for her. I didn't know what to say. I had been sending texts to her while in Prague, she never replied, but I could not make any calls.

She told me that if I want to carry on this relationship, she'd like me to be more understanding to her needs. I do lose my rag a bit with her, but I felt while I was away that the instability in my emotions has totally calmed down. But she wanted proof that I've become calmer. She wouldn't explain what proof, but also said she wanted time apart.

Usually I wouldn’t be happy with us not seeing or talking to each other, as we live about 50 miles apart and can only see each other every fortnight because of our work schedules. But I figured I should give her space as she may feel suffocated by me, especially as she is so angry with me at the moment.

She said she'd call me when she's ready.

It's only been a day and a bit, and I'm already worried if she'll never call again. I don't want to call her otherwise I'll go back on my promise.

How long can I leave her alone for, before I should assume she doesn’t want to know me, or before I can send her a short message asking her if she's ok?

Thanks,

T.

Yeah, leave her alone. Hopefully she's not out loving, touching, squeezing another. But it does sound awfully suspicious and rather Journey song like.

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Listen to the guys. Give her space or you will push her farther away. She'll call when she's ready, and if she doesn't, you are better off. It hurts, I KNOW, but if that's all you mean to her (that she doesn't call back) you are better off finding someone else.

I understand what your saying, and it makes sense. But while I was in Prague with some guys all I thought about was thinking about getting back to the UK so that I could she her.

I was planning things to do, was really excited about seeing her, and bought her so much rubbish from Prauge. I still want to give it to her but guess I should throw it all away.

I feel like such fool cause all my mates were out on the pull in Czeck Rep and went to clubs and bars just for the girls, and all I was doing was pineing over my girlfriend.

I seroiulsy wish I didn't go, cause at least I would have been there for her when she had this 'tragic experience', but now she won't even tell me what happened.

**SwoleCat** · 09-16-2004, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

at least I would have been there for her when she had this 'tragic experience', but now she won't even tell me what happened.

My guess......

There is no "tragic" experience, she is using that excuse against you, for what reason we still don't know yet.

Don't fall for that sh*t. If it was anything life-changing, she'd have told you the minute she spoke to you again, the games would have been pushed aside if it were on any significant level of seriousness.

She's bluffin'.........probably very good at 5 card stud.

~SC~

**Commando_Barbi** · 09-16-2004, 10:09 AM

First off...I know what you mean about the chicks in the clubs in Prague.. partied there a few times myself. I'm not into women but there were some hot looking ladies there.

I suspect that she's trying to make you feel bad for going without her...

Give her space. Don't beat yourself up. You didn't do anything wrong. You are entitled to a life that isn't completely wrapped up in hers.

RELAX, and let things happen as they will.

Give it a week or so or however long you can stand it.

If....she doesn't come around I would contact her one last time and say hey, Im not waiting on you forever...if you don't want to be with me anymore say the word and I'll find someone who does.

Originally Posted by Tushe

I understand what your saying, and it makes sense. But while I was in Prague with some guys all I thought about was thinking about getting back to the UK so that I could she her.

I was planning things to do, was really excited about seeing her, and bought her so much rubbish from Prauge. I still want to give it to her but guess I should throw it all away.

I feel like such fool cause all my mates were out on the pull in Czeck Rep and went to clubs and bars just for the girls, and all I was doing was pineing over my girlfriend.

I seroiulsy wish I didn't go, cause at least I would have been there for her when she had this 'tragic experience', but now she won't even tell me what happened.

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

First off...I know what you mean about the chicks in the clubs in Prague.. partied there a few times myself. I'm not into women but there were some hot looking ladies there.

I suspect that she's trying to make you feel bad for going without her...

Give her space. Don't beat yourself up. You didn't do anything wrong. You are entitled to a life that isn't completely wrapped up in hers.

RELAX, and let things happen as they will.

Give it a week or so or however long you can stand it.

If....she doesn't come around I would contact her one last time and say hey, Im not waiting on you forever...if you don't want to be with me anymore say the word and I'll find someone who does.

cha ching!! i also agree with what swole said,sounds like she is playing games with ya bro! dont play that ****. she is being immature! honestly i know that you love her but if she really really loved you then she wouldnt play with your head like that.. stand back and look at the facts bro.. move on and do your own thing and dont beat yourself up over this stupid ****!

**juicehoe** · 09-16-2004, 10:19 AM

just let her be and if she comes back then u know shes yours

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Give it a week or so or however long you can stand it.

If....she doesn't come around I would contact her one last time and say hey, Im not waiting on you forever...if you don't want to be with me anymore say the word and I'll find someone who does.

Yeah CB, that's what I was thinking.

I'll probably send her a text in a week just asking if she's ok. If she still doesn't reply two weeks after I'll send her another asking her to contact me if she wants to be with me, or this would be the last message I'll ever send her.

I'll make sure that'll be the last message I send her.

**hung-solo** · 09-16-2004, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

Yeah CB, that's what I was thinking.

I'll probably send her a text in a week just asking if she's ok. If she still doesn't reply two weeks after I'll send her another asking her to contact me if she wants to be with me, or this would be the last message I'll ever send her.

I'll make sure that'll be the last message I send her.

keep your head up kid! none of this **** is your fault bro, she has issues not you

**Sta11ion** · 09-16-2004, 11:05 AM

DOnt put yourself in the situtation thinking that its your fault. Its not your fault, you went on your trip which you deserve. With my X I felt obligated not do things with my friends or do business transaction out of the city. In the end shes my X, were is she now, not with me. Just remeber, women will come and go in your life. Enjoy your life instead of poundering what could of been our should of been.

**OGPackin** · 09-16-2004, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi

Listen to the guys. Give her space or you will push her farther away. She'll call when she's ready, and if she doesn't, you are better off. It hurts, I KNOW, but if that's all you mean to her (that she doesn't call back) you are better off finding someone else.

I agree wit my bros and CB here. Dont call her, dont text message yer and dont leave vm! We all have been there and we know how hard it is, but its the best advice. good luck!

OG

**Tushe** · 09-16-2004, 11:30 AM

I've just been reading another thread in this section: 'who else bangs there ex'

I didn't even get break up sex!

You guys have convinced me to leave it be. I won't contact her but I hope she does call back.

I feel like a complete mess right now. Thanks for the support.

**Benches505** · 09-16-2004, 12:05 PM

You got some great advice on this thread already so I won't be a broken record and sound off the same advice. One thing I will add is that it seems that one of her friends was in her ear while you were away and you have to play your own hand of poker or you will set a precedent that will set the tone of the relationship for the future with her being the one in the drivers seat.

There are a few key things that you did not mention..

How old is she? How long have you been dating? Remain strong right now since any sign of weakness may only strengthen her resolve to drag this out longer with teaching you a little lesson. After the weekend passes,assuming she has not heard from you, she will begin to second guess herself and that is when something will happen.

**JDawg1536** · 09-16-2004, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by Tushe

I've just been reading another thread in this section: 'who else bangs there ex'

I didn't even get break up sex!

You guys have convinced me to leave it be. I won't contact her but I hope she does call back.

I feel like a complete mess right now. Thanks for the support.

Just listen to everyone, it will feel a lot better talking to her knowing that she called you. But you guys sound a lot like me and my ex. Dont take breaking up and getting back together for granted, cuz one day one of you will get tired of it and it will happen for the last time. Work on letting those stupid fights go, is it really worth it?

**Raven8264** · 09-16-2004, 03:28 PM

LOL But the best part is the revenge at the end, "Now it's your turn, girl, to cry...nah nah-nah nah..." So much emotion but so hilarious at the same time

Originally Posted by 63190

Yeah, leave her alone. Hopefully she's not out loving, touching, squeezing another. But it does sound awfully suspicious and rather Journey song like.

**Tushe** · 09-17-2004, 06:44 AM

Originally Posted by Benches505

You got some great advice on this thread already so I won't be a broken record and sound off the same advice. One thing I will add is that it seems that one of her friends was in her ear while you were away and you have to play your own hand of poker or you will set a precedent that will set the tone of the relationship for the future with her being the one in the drivers seat.

There are a few key things that you did not mention..

How old is she? How long have you been dating? Remain strong right now since any sign of weakness may only strengthen her resolve to drag this out longer with teaching you a little lesson. After the weekend passes,assuming she has not heard from you, she will begin to second guess herself and that is when something will happen.

Yeah, I believe that she was talking to one of her friends about me while I was away. This friend didn't know me and my gf got back together in March after 5 months apart. A couple of weeks ago we (my gf and I) bumped into this freinds mother. She must have told her daughter about seeing us together. And I have no doubt in my mind that she was feeding my girlfreind propaganda about how rubbish I am.

BTW, she's 23, I'm 22 and we've been together for 3 years with a few long term breaks - when uni stopped for the summer, and usually got back when we came back in the autunm.

**hung-solo** · 09-17-2004, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

Yeah, I believe that she was talking to one of her friends about me while I was away. This friend didn't know me and my gf got back together in March after 5 months apart. A couple of weeks ago we (my gf and I) bumped into this freinds mother. She must have told her daughter about seeing us together. And I have no doubt in my mind that she was feeding my girlfreind propaganda about how rubbish I am.

BTW, she's 23, I'm 22 and we've been together for 3 years with a few long term breaks - when uni stopped for the summer, and usually got back when we came back in the autunm.

man ill be straight up with ya man. it doesnt look good. that on and off crap usually doesnt last bro.. of course there are exceptions but imo, move on bro and go do what you do and leave her behind.. things happen for a reason bro! peace and goodluck

**Tushe** · 09-17-2004, 07:10 AM

Originally Posted by hung-solo

man ill be straight up with ya man. it doesnt look good. that on and off crap usually doesnt last bro.. of course there are exceptions but imo, move on bro and go do what you do and leave her behind.. things happen for a reason bro! peace and goodluck

That's what i think aswell. But I just can't stay away - we've just got so much history.

I'm going to be positive about this whole situation, and not contact her. I already feel as if everything between us is all over. If I don't pressure her, and leave her alone, hopefully the longer I leave it, the easier it'll become to forget about her. In a way, I won't be surprised if she won't call back.

**hung-solo** · 09-17-2004, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

That's what i think aswell. But I just can't stay away - we've just got so much history.

I'm going to be positive about this whole situation, and not contact her. I already feel as if everything between us is all over. If I don't pressure her, and leave her alone, hopefully the longer I leave it, the easier it'll become to forget about her. In a way, I won't be surprised if she won't call back.

oh its going to be hard bro no doubt, its like how an alchoholic loves his drinks..its hard to put down but you gotta do what you gotta do bro. oh and you well never forget about her bro so dont even try to "forget" about her. you need to more or less look at it like its the best thing for you! which imo it is, she was playing games withyou and thats just not cool

**co2boi** · 09-17-2004, 07:29 AM

I think you left town without her and she realized that you are independent and don't need her. She (as all people do) want control so as soon as you came back she retailiated to see if she had control. Don't give it to her.

There's also a chance that someone was standing (or laying) beside her when she made that call. Don't be a needy wuss bro. Back off, have some fun...she'll love you for it and she'll be back. If you really want her to want you, date someone else.

**Tushe** · 09-17-2004, 07:46 AM

If she's been shagging someone else. I would just not be interested in her anymore.

If she'd been with someone else then it clearly means that she doesn't care for me like I do for her.

I'd be through.

But, as now, we're on a 'break' I'm just going to go out and have some fun. Like most of you lot have said, there's no point sitting at home and dwelling on what ifs.

It's just hard at the moment to do anything but think of her. I'm not working at the moment, because my tempory contract ended just before I went to Prague. I really need to find anthother job, that'll definatly get my mind of things.

Also I've just graduated from Uni, and am looking for a graduiate job/career. Ive been to (what seems like) thousands of interviews, but just haven't found the right position. I'm still waiting to hear from a few places and have other interviews lined up. But waiting on phone calls for acceptance is not doing my self esteem any favours.

**hung-solo** · 09-17-2004, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

If she's been shagging someone else. I would just not be interested in her anymore.

If she'd been with someone else then it clearly means that she doesn't care for me like I do for her.

I'd be through.

But, as now, we're on a 'break' I'm just going to go out and have some fun. Like most of you lot have said, there's no point sitting at home and dwelling on what ifs.

It's just hard at the moment to do anything but think of her. I'm not working at the moment, because my tempory contract ended just before I went to Prague. I really need to find anthother job, that'll definatly get my mind of things.

Also I've just graduated from Uni, and am looking for a graduiate job/career. Ive been to (what seems like) thousands of interviews, but just haven't found the right position. I'm still waiting to hear from a few places and have other interviews lined up. But waiting on phone calls for acceptance is not doing my self esteem any favours.

i know money might be tight but go out and do something bro.. go to the gym, go running, go to a whore house

, do something to occupy yourself. you have too much time on your hands bro. your mind plays dirty tricks when its bored bro

**Tushe** · 09-17-2004, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by hung-solo

i know money might be tight but go out and do something bro.. go to the gym, go running, go to a whore house

, do something to occupy yourself. you have too much time on your hands bro. your mind plays dirty tricks when its bored bro

I missed out on the whore houses while I was in Prauge!! They're everywhere. But I think I'll just go to a bar tonight with some pals.

**TexasFitnessGirl** · 09-17-2004, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by Tushe

I missed out on the whore houses while I was in Prauge!! They're everywhere. But I think I'll just go to a bar tonight with some pals.

I hate all the ****ing games but here it goes. You have to act to her like you are not affected either way. Dont give it time and wait and see, you show her now that you are moving on, having fun and could care less. She asked for space give her all the G-D space she needs. Swole said it, have a party invite all your friends. Dont answer the phone when she calls everytime. When you answer make it short but SWEET. Look I am busy can I call you later. Call her a day or two later. Now the most important thing...When she shows signs of wanting to come back and is starting to be interested dont jump on that chance. Tell her you have to think about some things first, that you forgot how much you were missing out on. Spend a little time with her but dont act like you are too miserable without here, that you can take it or leave it.

Now like I said, I hate these games but I have taken psychology classes and this is what works. Human nature always prefers to have what it can't.

I am more the "See it" Want it" "Have to Have It" "Go After It" kind of girl.
I don't see the need for ****ing around with it, but like I said this is the tragedy of life - it is a game so if you want her bad enough and I can see you do, all the posts that say get rid of her, forget about her, you deserve better, aren't going to do a thing until you are ready to do that. I can see that you aren't so try this and go from there. You will find a much more appreciative recipient when you turn the tables on her.

"People take for granted that which they have in the palm of their hand, but become absolutley frantic wth desire over that which they already posess but are in danger of losing"!!

Good luck to you.