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  1. #1
    BigGreen's Avatar
    BigGreen is offline Anabolic Member
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    The Official "Marry BigGreen" Thread

    I am now accepting applications for the position of 'wife', as I've decided it would be kinda sweet to have one. Applications will be accepted on a rolling basis until October 15th, 2004. At that point, qualified candidates will be invited to interview for the position. Please note, this posting is not limited to AR, however.

    My accomplishments, and thus desirability, speak for themselves. Here on this board, I have:

    1. Authored several of the FAQ 'posts', including this gem on ordering through the mail that several newbies have no doubt found INVALUABLE. http://67.18.108.244//faq.php?faq=ob...roids#faq_mail

    2. To the delight of thousands (i estimate) I spent an entire weekend posting entirely in old english (or, "olde englifh" if you prefer). I did not confine this tomfoolery merely to the lounge, and ventured into several of the main forums with my act.

    3. Began ARs coolest thread "10 Random Things About You" (http://67.18.108.244//showthread.php?t=41652)

    4. Introduced an initiative to parody threads in the lounge which is still in its infancy.

    5. Founded the original AR fantasy football league

    Off the board, my accomplishments are not nearly as impressive, but still existent, as I have:
    *gone to some schools
    *won some junk
    *never worked a real job ever (this is an awesome accomplishment)
    *secured myself a pet rat

    I expect to receive several applications for this position. Though BigGreen is an equal opportunity employer, I regret that this position is open only to AR's female members and/or moderators regardless of sex. That being said, I can not in good conscience marry someone old enough and of the same necessary sex to be my father - so I'm sure i will be hit with a discrimination lawsuit from Cycleon.

    Also, be aware that a portion of this procedure may involved writing a "why me" essay which will be publicly posted in this thread. That is all.
    Last edited by BigGreen; 10-05-2004 at 02:56 AM.

  2. #2
    BigGreen's Avatar
    BigGreen is offline Anabolic Member
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    OH yes, how do i go about getting this made a sticky? Also, should it be linked from the female forum in case some of our female members don't frequent the lounge?

  3. #3
    1badcamaro's Avatar
    1badcamaro is offline Anabolic Member
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    i didnt think you'd ever stoop to a personal ad.........come on bro, you can't be that ugly

  4. #4
    kc's Avatar
    kc
    kc is offline Female Member
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    Application #1....kinda.

    Well, what the hell. This thread will entertain me for sure so why not post in it. I, however, will give you the why NOT me's instead of the why me's.

    Why Big Green should never consider marrying me..... please, I have no confidence issues, I just don't play the game so please, laugh with me....

    1) I'm married....in general this means you can't marry anybody else.
    2) I'm single....but married? wtf?
    3) I apparently have issues for the first time in my life, wouldn't wish a chick with issues on any guy.
    4) I spend too much time in the gym...eventually that would piss you off.
    5) I like fast cars and fast bikes...again, it'll piss you off.
    6) I read like a fiend....3 or 5 books a week, no problem.
    7) I eat too many egg whites....12 to 18 a day, something about the shells that will piss you off...
    8) I don't sleep....good if you're up too but bad if you're tryin to sleep.
    9) Redbull makes me crazy....again, good and bad depending on your mood
    10) I like to watch WWE and action movies, quoting them before you can will piss you off.
    11) I can't stand a mess
    12) I'm fanatical about my car, gets detailed (by me) every week.
    13) I like my music much too loud... "can't hear yourself think"
    14) I have too many shoes.....yes, females do that
    15) My job is stressful, professional, rewarding and makes me financially stable


    there you go....

  5. #5
    decadbal's Avatar
    decadbal is offline Banned
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    keep your eyes and hands off blown sc...

  6. #6
    w_rballs's Avatar
    w_rballs is offline Anabolic Member
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    mass and mart told me they were looking for "life partners". u might want to hit them up on PM biggreen. and please do everyone a favor on the board and keep it to Pm. i dont want to know anything about it!

  7. #7
    BigGreen's Avatar
    BigGreen is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1badcamaro
    i didnt think you'd ever stoop to a personal ad.........come on bro, you can't be that ugly
    I have and I am. I frighten small children. As I've said, my eyes and nose are in the right general place, but it ends there and heads precipitously downhill.

  8. #8
    1badcamaro's Avatar
    1badcamaro is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    I have and I am. I frighten small children. As I've said, my eyes and nose are in the right general place, but it ends there and heads precipitously downhill.
    well there are always blind women

  9. #9
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    im confused on #2, but i'll marry you i guess

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    I frighten small children.
    What about large children? Do you also frighten large children?

    Red

  11. #11
    R.Gotti's Avatar
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    we have a lovely gay community in this thread

  12. #12
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
    TexasFitnessGirl is offline Female Member
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    This is only my pre-application hopefully I won't have to go any further.

    1. I love football
    2. I love housework
    3. I will obey your every command
    4. I will cook every meal
    5. I will pay all the bills
    6. You can have sex whenever you want
    7. You can go out with your friends whenever you want
    8. You can have sex with whomever you want
    9. I will think you are by far the sexiest man alive
    10. I like football


    Did I win?? and where is my ****ing set of free steak knives?

  13. #13
    little-one's Avatar
    little-one is offline Associate Member
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    [QUOTE=TexasFitnessGirl]This is only my pre-application hopefully I won't have to go any further.

    1. I love football
    2. I love housework
    3. I will obey your every command
    4. I will cook every meal
    5. I will pay all the bills
    6. You can have sex whenever you want
    7. You can go out with your friends whenever you want
    8. You can have sex with whomever you want
    9. I will think you are by far the sexiest man alive
    10. I like football

    Thats all good but would you be willing to have sex with me and my wife??? Oh im sorry this isnt my thread....sorry biggreen

  14. #14
    rambo's Avatar
    rambo is offline The Lord God
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    MAN. Screw that pontificating prole-bait.

    Have my children.

    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    This is only my pre-application hopefully I won't have to go any further.

    1. I love football
    2. I love housework
    3. I will obey your every command
    4. I will cook every meal
    5. I will pay all the bills
    6. You can have sex whenever you want
    7. You can go out with your friends whenever you want
    8. You can have sex with whomever you want
    9. I will think you are by far the sexiest man alive
    10. I like football


    Did I win?? and where is my ****ing set of free steak knives?

  15. #15
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    keep your eyes and hands off blown sc...
    LMFAO....

    Thanks for lookin' out for me snookems....

  16. #16
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rambo
    MAN. Screw that pontificating prole-bait.

    Have my children.
    Get off my thread.....i need to be married by the new year or I'll be deported.

  17. #17
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    9. I will think you are by far the sexiest man alive
    You should already think this...points have been deducted accordingly.


    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    Did I win?? and where is my ****ing set of free steak knives?
    the free steak knives will arrive in six to eight weeks provided you filled out all forms in triplicate. If you did not get forms, please PM me for copies and allow six to eight weeks for delivery of the forms.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreen
    Get off my thread.....i need to be married by the new year or I'll be deported.


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