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  1. #1
    kc's Avatar
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    how would you react?

    well since my life is one big shock after another lately...here's the latest...

    soon to be ex dropped new gf off at airport so she could fly home to her family for a wedding, then got in his truck the next day and DROVE 1000 miles to be with her and her family, he calls me from the truck on the way back (with his girl) to be sure I finished up the divorce paperwork!...wtf? huh...

  2. #2
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Shes probaly egging him on to do stupid **** like that just to reassure her low self confidence

  3. #3
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    lmao..

    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Shes probaly egging him on to do stupid **** like that just to reassure her low self confidence

    i'm just trying to be sure i'm still breathing! wow

  4. #4
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    I feel really bad for you.........I dont think you deserved to be treated this way.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Shes probaly egging him on to do stupid **** like that just to reassure her low self confidence
    That sounds about right.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    I feel really bad for you.........I dont think you deserved to be treated this way.
    Mass swoops in and takes her under his wing.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    That sounds about right.
    I agree also, she is pushing him to get that divorce and wants to hear him say it to you. I'm sorry you are being treated that way.

  8. #8
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    soooo.....

    be the adult, finish the paperwork, hit the gym, go for a run and....lmao BLOW IT OFF right?

  9. #9
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    be the adult, finish the paperwork, hit the gym, go for a run and....lmao BLOW IT OFF right?

    Exactly, rise above, all of those childish games.

  10. #10
    Blown_SC is offline Retired Vet
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    You deserve better than that, and are better than that..
    You're a strong one KC...

  11. #11
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    be the adult, finish the paperwork, hit the gym, go for a run and....lmao BLOW IT OFF right?
    I know it is so hard and told you I am dealing with some tough choices now also, but if he was your friend he wouldn't make you feel bad that way. It is so hard to do but let it go and let him go and get on with making your life better. Be a little selfish now, you will look back and think why was I so tore up about this he wasn't even worth it. I know the pain now is hard to deal with but you are going to get through it, might as well skip the hard stuff and just go straight to loving life

  12. #12
    Bigen12's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    I know it is so hard and told you I am dealing with some tough choices now also, but if he was your friend he wouldn't make you feel bad that way. It is so hard to do but let it go and let him go and get on with making your life better. Be a little selfish now, you will look back and think why was I so tore up about this he wasn't even worth it. I know the pain now is hard to deal with but you are going to get through it, might as well skip the hard stuff and just go straight to loving life

    Exactly,
    I, like most of us here have been there, but it is wonderful now to be able to look back and think, I was very strong, and I did the right thing! In the end isn't that all that really matters?

  13. #13
    kc's Avatar
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    yep, ya'll are right....yuk

  14. #14
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    **** KC, sorry to hear your ex is being a jerk. Best thing to do, imo, finish the paperwork, certify mail it back to him and hope it's the last time you hear back from him. He'll learn soon enough he's made a huge mistake. The grass is always greener...........

  15. #15
    kc's Avatar
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    dunno, it's over either way and i'm ok with that....the whole trip freaks me out tho

  16. #16
    mass junkie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    dunno, it's over either way and i'm ok with that....the whole trip freaks me out tho
    Wait till you get that phone call out of the blue......."Hello, I just called to see how you're doing" once you get that phone call...you'll know that its his way of saying "hey I messed up and realized that leaving you for this other woman was the worst mistake I ever made" Im not saying that that phone call will be happening soon...But I pretty much guarantee you that you will recieve it..

  17. #17
    kc's Avatar
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    ugh, i hope that call doesn't come...that would mess me up way bad

    hmmm, i feel some serious lifting comin on tonight....hopefully that'll help me focus on something else

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mass junkie
    Wait till you get that phone call out of the blue......."Hello, I just called to see how you're doing" once you get that phone call...you'll know that its his way of saying "hey I messed up and realized that leaving you for this other woman was the worst mistake I ever made" Im not saying that that phone call will be happening soon...But I pretty much guarantee you that you will recieve it..
    They always call to say how they messed up!!!!! I totally agree. It will mess you up.

  19. #19
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    Do not even answer the phone from now on.

    He is constantly hurting you...don't allow it.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigen12
    Exactly, rise above, all of those childish games.
    Except patti-cake...I'll never outgrow that one.

    That sucks, KC...on the bright side, I'm sure you'll move on to bigger and better things. Every new relationship should always be better than your last...(no point in moving backwards, right?) =)

  21. #21
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    update.....

    turns out they're talking about getting engaged poor fukker is gonna get stuck with some chick he doesn't even know and lose a best friend as a result....

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    turns out they're talking about getting engaged poor fukker is gonna get stuck with some chick he doesn't even know and lose a best friend as a result....
    Smarts isn't really our strongpoint KC. We're outwitted by a sack of hammers.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juggy Snout
    Smarts isn't really our strongpoint KC. We're outwitted by a sack of hammers.
    You are the best!

  24. #24
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    turns out they're talking about getting engaged poor fukker is gonna get stuck with some chick he doesn't even know and lose a best friend as a result....
    Just sit back relax and watch the execution begin!!!!

  25. #25
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    wtf else can i do...this will either be the absolute best decision he'll make or the absolute worst....not exactly sure which I'd like it to be

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    wtf else can i do...this will either be the absolute best decision he'll make or the absolute worst....not exactly sure which I'd like it to be
    Girl I am so with you, I am watching the same thing happen to mine and he is already talking how unhappy he is and hasn't even been with her an entire week without me. Honestly I will get beat up for this, but I know you still love him and if it was me I would hold onto the papers a little longer. When he asks you why you haven't signed them, I would tell him how you feel and then say, it is a giant decision and I don't want to do it without thinking it through. Tell him, if you really are sure this is what you want then I will do it, I just wanted to give it some time to be sure.

    Unless you are completely over it - but i am guessing if you were - then you wouldn't be writing in this thread and you would have signed them already.

  27. #27
    kc's Avatar
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    hell, in 4 weeks you can't "Get over" 10 years.....but, I know it's over and that it's the right decision for both of us (he's proving that) so the papers aren't a big deal, I'm just doing them myself so it's time consuming and a pretty sucky job in general. Thankfully we have kept all our debt and all our assets seperate so it's easy. I just can't believe "lets save this friendship by ending the marriage" conversations were all complete bull**** but i guess that's what i get for trusting him so completely....

  28. #28
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    hell, in 4 weeks you can't "Get over" 10 years.....but, I know it's over and that it's the right decision for both of us (he's proving that) so the papers aren't a big deal, I'm just doing them myself so it's time consuming and a pretty sucky job in general. Thankfully we have kept all our debt and all our assets seperate so it's easy. I just can't believe "lets save this friendship by ending the marriage" conversations were all complete bull**** but i guess that's what i get for trusting him so completely....
    Don't be so hard on yourself............he's the one who misused that trust.

  29. #29
    TexasFitnessGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    hell, in 4 weeks you can't "Get over" 10 years.....but, I know it's over and that it's the right decision for both of us (he's proving that) so the papers aren't a big deal, I'm just doing them myself so it's time consuming and a pretty sucky job in general. Thankfully we have kept all our debt and all our assets seperate so it's easy. I just can't believe "lets save this friendship by ending the marriage" conversations were all complete bull**** but i guess that's what i get for trusting him so completely....
    If the friendship is true it won't be long b4 he realizes it, you know she is going to have to fullfill his emotional needs more completely than any other or he will be doubting the strength of the relationship and the depth of the friendship and vice versa. If she does then be happy that he found someone that can and will do that. Be strong you are a really nice person and plenty of people recognize your value!

  30. #30
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    just let this all show you what your really losing... that should make it easier

  31. #31
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    KC sign those papers and be done with this a$$hole he causing you more grief then it is worth. It is too bad though i know it sucks to lose a friend. Stay stong and take out your frustration on the gym

  32. #32
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    ugh, i hope that call doesn't come...that would mess me up way bad

    hmmm, i feel some serious lifting comin on tonight....hopefully that'll help me focus on something else

    You're saying it'll mess you up way bad because you think you'll be feeling down like you are now. You won't be, though. I do think, just by reading your post, that his current gf is wanting him to rub it in. Men aren't really spiteful like that. Like Juggy said, we're not smart enough to figure out how to hurt an ex. It shows her insecurity. :spudniklu

  33. #33
    kc's Avatar
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    update...revisited....

    well, papers are signed and ready to go. I wasn't sure how that was going to go yesterday but it went well. I stuck up for myself well, didn't allow him to even THINK i could be the psycho one and basically told him I was done until he figured his **** out and was ready to be a friend. He left there, expecting to see me later to pick up my tv and stuff, pretty **** quiet. He knew he fukked up and apologized...i just let him know that I won't be the one he gets to treat like crap.

    Rolled into the apt last night with a buddy of mine and he was the "old xx" apologized again and everything went well....

    All in all....kc feels MUCH better than she has in weeks and might be ready to put it behind her and move the fuk on.... i'm allowed a couple weeks of freakin out aren't I?

    Thanks all you guys for all your support....surprising that most of you haven't ever spoken to me but care anyway....so, thanks a million. Hopefully someday I can return the favor.

    ~kc

  34. #34
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    Its hard but a Phisically fit person like yourself can find someone new....do it up...you should probably get him on the phone and tell him to not call you or even better when he does call dont pick up guys hate that ****..make him think your out living your life w/o him even if your not...and maybe by doing this you won't have him putting you down. Live your Life do it howerver you want to but live life have fun, fuk the past and look to the future.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasFitnessGirl
    Honestly I will get beat up for this, but I know you still love him and if it was me I would hold onto the papers a little longer. When he asks you why you haven't signed them, I would tell him how you feel and then say, it is a giant decision and I don't want to do it without thinking it through. Tell him, if you really are sure this is what you want then I will do it, I just wanted to give it some time to be sure.

    wtf TFG?

    How much does it take to realise this sorry sack of **** thinks nothing about her? If he cares/loves her he would be there with her working things out. Instead he is playing some very farked up emotional games that will do nothing but tear her apart mentally.

    I am sorry but this totally farking pisses me off, do not settle for this ****. My god, wake up and sign those god**** papers already. Like i said earlier, he can only hurt you as long as YOU allow him to.

    We can only give advice, i do not know anything about you personally but from what i have read here, you have my sympathy as i know it is hard to make sense out of everything that is going on.

    Of course it is easy for me to sit here and say leave him, sign the papers bla bla bla....i have nothing invested and i can give you an outsiders perspective and sometimes that is what we need when we go through times like this because we do not think clearly with all the turmoil going on at the time.

    You should know from past relationships, time is the only thing that will help you. I can only provide you with encouraging words and i am sincere in what i say.

    You only have one life to live on this earth, make the best of it while you are here. Do not waste time on somehting that is as futile as this relationship.

    Keep your chin up and a smile on your face and one day you can look back at this with a smile and realise it was all a learning experience.


    Last edited by Panzerfaust; 10-06-2004 at 08:31 AM.

  36. #36
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    honestly

    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    well since my life is one big shock after another lately...here's the latest...

    soon to be ex dropped new gf off at airport so she could fly home to her family for a wedding, then got in his truck the next day and DROVE 1000 miles to be with her and her family, he calls me from the truck on the way back (with his girl) to be sure I finished up the divorce paperwork!...wtf? huh...
    you said he is "soon to be ex" and i have nevr really heard you say that the relationship was good especially in the romantic way. so what are you so concerned about?you want a divorce so you're getting it....who cares what he is doing now??

  37. #37
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    KC, look up the words to that 'Mo Town oldies song "Set Me Free" I believe it's called.

    Set me free why don't you baby
    You just keep me hanging on
    Get up, get out of my life
    You keep saying that you want
    To be friends, and then you
    Tear out my heart.
    And there ain't nothing I can do
    About it.

    It goes something like that. I heard it the other day on the radio, and after reading some of the posts regarding stuff like this, it stuck in my mind. I need to call the DJ and ask them who sings it and what the name is. It's got a funky guitar in it that makes it sound short and choppey like a telegraph machine.

    And don't answer the phone as was said earlier. If you have to answer it, keep the convo short and specific. If he asks you how you are doing, just say "Good". But don't sound all enthused about it. Just short and choppey. If you know it's him via caller ID, just answer the phone like "What do want, I'm busy".

  38. #38
    kc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyboynyc
    you said he is "soon to be ex" and i have nevr really heard you say that the relationship was good especially in the romantic way. so what are you so concerned about?you want a divorce so you're getting it....who cares what he is doing now??

    it's just a shock.....i'm ok with what he's doing but after 10 years...some stuff will still freak me out a little....i figure i can have that for awhile as long as i deal with it, don't let him see me react and move on

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by muriloninja
    wtf TFG?

    How much does it take to realise this sorry sack of **** thinks nothing about her? If he cares/loves her he would be there with her working things out. Instead he is playing some very farked up emotional games that will do nothing but tear her apart mentally.

    I am sorry but this totally farking pisses me off, do not settle for this ****. My god, wake up and sign those god**** papers already. Like i said earlier, he can only hurt you as long as YOU allow him to.

    We can only give advice, i do not know anything about you personally but from what i have read here, you have my sympathy as i know it is hard to make sense out of everything that is going on.

    Of course it is easy for me to sit here and say leave him, sign the papers bla bla bla....i have nothing invested and i can give you an outsiders perspective and sometimes that is what we need when we go through times like this because we do not think clearly with all the turmoil going on at the time.

    You should know from past relationships, time is the only thing that will help you. I can only provide you with encouraging words and i am sincere in what i say.

    You only have one life to live on this earth, make the best of it while you are here. Do not waste time on somehting that is as futile as this relationship.

    Keep your chin up and a smile on your face and one day you can look back at this with a smile and realise it was all a learning experience.


    You are soo sweet, and your advice is right on the money. I don't mean to contradict myself, I was just saying I understand her not wanting to lose a friend. She cares for him and that feeling isn't going to leave her just because she verbalizes it. I was trying to play devils advocate. No offense KC or anyone else who is divorced. because I know it always ends up with the two parties being happier....I just have a problem with accepting divorce - that someone could love you so much to devote themselves to marriage and then turn around and throw that out like , oh well I didn't mean it. I was really devoted to you, but now I am not. Marriage is very sacred to me as it is most people, I just wanted to let her know I understand that it is hard to let that kind of committment go.

  40. #40
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    i know how it is

    Quote Originally Posted by kc
    it's just a shock.....i'm ok with what he's doing but after 10 years...some stuff will still freak me out a little....i figure i can have that for awhile as long as i deal with it, don't let him see me react and move on
    i just got out of a 10 year relationship myself. best friend and person i planned on spending the rest of my life with is gone. i don't know that i could even see her right now or know what she is doing with herself these days. it's onlybeen about 3 months since i'm removed from this so it's still hard , but keeping myself busy is helping.
    i feel for you. i know how hard it is. stay strong kiddo!

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