am i beeing cold hearted?

[itsallmental]

well heres the situation. throughout highschool i hung out with a group of kids who were pretty violent, we would get into sh!t every weekend(not because i wanted to) because they were immature and each one of them thought they were hot sh!t, regardless though, if there was a fight, even if they did happen to start it, i would help cuzz they were my boys.now, me and my 'best bro' if you wanna say, in highschool did everything together, we were both on the weightlifting team and we both made it to state all 3 years, we wrecked 4 wheelers, got in trouble with the popo, yadda yadda etc etc. he used to be my boy, the only 1 i could count on if i was in deep trouble.almost like a brother.

but now, since last year, he moved to FSU, he's been dorming there for awhile, and ever since he's been there he's basically been actin like he's hot ****.here was a conversation between me and him last week;

him; hey man whatsup
me; nothing kinda tired from work bout to head to the gym
him; pussy, get a real job
me; i work construction in the sun for 14 hours, arnt you on scholarship, do you even work?
him; i dont need to, i get paid $1000 to buy all my food, and sh!t, so i dont have to work like you do
me; oh ok, well hows weightlifting up there?
him;its good, i can benchpress 365 at 151 bodyweight
me; ya sure dood, bring your **** talkin down here .
him; i will be stronger than you every day of you life, look at you you weigh 200 lbs and have trouble pushing 400, me on the other hand, i can almost press 3 times my body weight. im stronger than you.
me; whatever man, i gotta go, cya


thats a basic convo between me and him, and none of it was sarcasm, he tries to compete with me every day of the **** year.


on another note, after he got to that school last year, he's basically turned into some prep kid and he has a job with abercrombie and bitch and brags how much money he makes and how he's gonna model and stupid **** like that.


so what i did was, when he called me tonight to hang out i said this;

him; hey you goin out tonight pussy?
me; listen, ever since you got to that school, you been actin like some punk bitch, and all you ever fukin do is brag about how bad you are, nah i aint gonna hang out with you, im gunna fukin lift then eat then go to sleep, if you need me dont fukin call me cuzz im sick of your preppy high school bull****, all you do is play games.
him; whats wrong with you?
me;whats wrong with me? leave me the fukk alone is whats wrong with me, youve changed man, alot, and untill you figure out what the fukk your about, ima leave you alone.cya


now, this girl was near me when i had this convo to him, and she said it was cold hearted.

do you guys think i handled this situation correctly?

[KGBnine]

I say make him prove his bench! most people talk big when they aren't in a position to prove it.

[mass junkie]

Is this a pilot to a new soap opera?

[itsallmental]

thats very hard to do bro, yes i would do it, but its just, after and even durring where we would both be in the same gym im pretty sure i would throw a rage on his sh!t talk and maybe fight em.

[itsallmental]

Is this a pilot to a new soap opera?

ya and your moms gonna be a guest star next week, gtfo outta my thread

[KGBnine]

ya and your moms gonna be a guest star next week, gtfo outta my thread

Jeez, so harsh! hehe well I say fuk'em, forget about it. Not worth dweliing over.

[MMC78]

Sounds like you were due for a fight.

In a coupla weeks/days when you guys start talking again things will be better. He'll be less of an arrogant prick, and you'll be more patient.

[OGPackin]

Hey bro, it sounds like this has been going on for some time now and uv finally had ur fill. If u still want to be friends with the guy u could call and apologize and say u were just having a bad day. Im sure he will get the message and stop being such a dick. It sounds like hes not much of a friend anymore so who needs him....

OG

[Benches505]

I say make him prove his bench! most people talk big when they aren't in a position to prove it.

I keep a good bench and 500lbs of weight in my garage for this exact purpose. Can't tell you how many 400+ benchers seemed to have a bad shoulder and couldn't even push 275 on certain nights. I just keep peeling weight off until we get the actual number.The whole time acting sympathetic to the bad shoulder or hurt elbow story

Sounds like your friend is changing...Happens to many around the college years. You have to decide if you can deal with the change.

[decadbal]

dude if one of my friends talked to me like that, id beat their ass... respect is something you earn, u dont just get, he dont respect you... so make him.

[Hometown Hero]

Honest opinion. I think the guy has always been intimidated by you somehow man, or someone. It's obviouse by listening to the conversations that he is looking for any oppertunity he can to improve his own self esteem. First he says stuff to you like "what are you doing tonight pussy?" well he says that because he knows you all are tyght enough that you would tell him to **** off before you would hunt him down and kick the **** out of him. For him its probably a morale booster to be able to talk to you like that and get away with it. Then if you call him out on it he's ganna say something like "hey man dont get so defensive I was just ****ing with you". Also notice that all of his conversations with you involve him bragging about some sort of personal acheivement. Your boy has some major issue's with his self esteem is my diagnosis.... that doesn't mean he's a bad guy... the question is, do you have enough patience to deal with it. I got a bro like that too, grew up with him... but I also try to keep it in perspective... he's a COCK SUCKER when he wants to be... but i know if I was in a situation where I needed him to have my back he would no questions asked.

[The Baron]

Sounds like something is going on that he is having a hard time dealing with. Sounds like overcompensation or something. Do you think he might be wondering if he is queer or not? A lot of kids go off to college and suddenly for the first time they are surrounded by them or they get a wild hair and decide to try it after all nobody here knows me etc etc. Or maybe he is doing some 'drol or too much tren or something. Might be worried about grades, or GF or something. Seriously you ought to check up on him on the sly and figure out if he really is just being a gratuitous ass or if he is being an ass because something has his head all ****ed up.

That aside, I expect like another poster says that he will probably be a little more cordial on your next phone call. Don't feel guilty just cause you let him have it. You can't keep taking **** like that and keep it all bottled up. But now that you have vented, see what's REALLY eating your bud and figure out if you can help or not. Sometimes just having an old pard to confide in makes a world of difference when you are surrounded by strangers for the first time in yer live.

[itsallmental]

Honest opinion. I think the guy has always been intimidated by you somehow man, or someone. It's obviouse by listening to the conversations that he is looking for any oppertunity he can to improve his own self esteem. First he says stuff to you like "what are you doing tonight pussy?" well he says that because he knows you all are tyght enough that you would tell him to **** off before you would hunt him down and kick the **** out of him. For him its probably a morale booster to be able to talk to you like that and get away with it. Then if you call him out on it he's ganna say something like "hey man dont get so defensive I was just ****ing with you". Also notice that all of his conversations with you involve him bragging about some sort of personal acheivement. Your boy has some major issue's with his self esteem is my diagnosis.... that doesn't mean he's a bad guy... the question is, do you have enough patience to deal with it. I got a bro like that too, grew up with him... but I also try to keep it in perspective... he's a COCK SUCKER when he wants to be... but i know if I was in a situation where I needed him to have my back he would no questions asked.

thats good advice man, thanx

[houseofpain]

dude if one of my friends talked to me like that, id beat their ass... respect is something you earn, u dont just get, he dont respect you... so make him.

i am eye to eye on your short ass on this one bro. if he is your friend and is being such a dick fuk him, you dont need that drama and sh!t in your life. i dont believe that bench for a min. kick his ass.

[itsallmental]

i dont believe that bench for a min.

the reason i know its bs, is because my senior year in hs, i was benching in the high 300's, and i just started to weigh in at 200. he was jealous as ****, because on meet day, people would come to watch my bench instead of his. when he was a senior too on the team with me, his bench was 295 at 153 lbs.now he claims he lost 2 lbs and gained like what, 70 lbs on his bench?

i hate people who lie about how much they can push. it aggravates the fukk out of me cuzz most of the time they lie its outside of the gym, and when we get in theyre its always "i worked my chest yesterday im not gonna do it again" or the one i love "nah man im not feeling good today, im just gonna do a little bicep and leave".


the reason i dont wanna call em out is cause if i do take his little bitch ass to the gym im gonna end up getting violent cuzz he lies all the fukkin time.

[The Baron]

the reason i know its bs, is because my senior year in hs, i was benching in the high 300's, and i just started to weigh in at 200. he was jealous as ****, because on meet day, people would come to watch my bench instead of his. when he was a senior too on the team with me, his bench was 295 at 153 lbs.now he claims he lost 2 lbs and gained like what, 70 lbs on his bench?

i hate people who lie about how much they can push. it aggravates the fukk out of me cuzz most of the time they lie its outside of the gym, and when we get in theyre its always "i worked my chest yesterday im not gonna do it again" or the one i love "nah man im not feeling good today, im just gonna do a little bicep and leave".


the reason i dont wanna call em out is cause if i do take his little bitch ass to the gym im gonna end up getting violent cuzz he lies all the fukkin time.

Okay, forget about it. YOU know he's lying. HE knows it, too. Humor him and move on. It doesn't matter. If he gets genuinely obnoxious about it, remind him that he has not demonstrated his newfound prowess yet, so it is still just "internet pounds" to you, and then STFU. IT DOESN'T MATTER if he can or can't or says he can outbench you. If it really does seem to matter, you need to do a maturity self-check.

I still think this is all a sign of something massively wrong in your buddy's life or head and if you really are a friend you will check up on him and try to work with him on his issues. No, nobody expects you to be Dr Phil, but a man's true friends are his first line of psychological defense against an often confusing and malevolent world.

[itsallmental]

ya, i might call em up in a little to see whuts up, this might be the case baron we will see.but he doesnt drink/have any girlfriends/ do bad in school, hes a smart kid so im wondering if he DID make some sort of mistake while we havnt been hangin out.