10-09-2004, 02:50 PM #1
The ex is freaking out about the sardines
One of my exes picked me up after work a couple nights ago for a quick booty call and somebody to take up the empty space in her bed. The next morning I got the jones real bad for some sardines and ritz crackers. I recently started training seriously again after over a year layoff due to laziness and excuses like jail, poverty, lack of time, depression, drunkenness, etc and since starting again, I can't leave the sardines alone. I like them in chile sauce, tomato sauce, mustard sauce, or good old fashioned soybean oil. Anyway I woke up before she did and borrowed her truck and zoomed over to the Winn Dixie and picked up a few cans, along with a couple boxes of ritz crackers. When she woke up and went into the kitchen to make coffee, she saw me in the dining room with 5 or 6 empty sardine tins in front of me and I was drinking the oil from the last can. (I know, sounds gross but it tastes really good!) She insists something serious is wrong with me, but I think it is just a natural craving and my body is simply demanding what it needs, so I listen to it and comply. Anyway sardines are cheap protein with a lot of omega whatsis in there. I crumbled up a couple of ritz crackers in the tin to soak up the last of the oil and ate it all up, and watching her tits bounce around got me feeling pretty frisky. I grabbed her, took her back in the bedroom, and rang her bell a couple more times, finishing orally on the last one. She complained that it tastes like sardines now. She says I am warped, or have brain cancer or a serious vitamin deficiency or something and won't talk to me. Hey, no biggie, I don't like talking to her anyway... I just like getting a little trim from a chick who is relatively safe, so expert at pleasing me and still looks reasonably hot. But now she is also calling people and they call me all puzzled asking what this crap is about the sardines and stuff. Seems she says they are turning me into a deranged monster or some sort of uncontrollable sex thug. What do I do? Should I try switching to smoked oysters or kippers or something? The **** sardines make me feel like I am on 750mg/wk of sust or something. I feel like Jesse Ventura when he claimed to be a "sexual tyrannosaurus". Maybe it is just the aroma? Kinda smells like a big sloppy beaver, you know?
Something Fishy in the Big Easy
PS I know this sounds over the top, but I really am on the level here.
10-09-2004, 03:00 PM #2
I don't touch canned fish, besides chicken of the sea of coarse.
10-09-2004, 03:07 PM #3
LoL I can't see to much difference between eating her puss and eating sardines.... maybe you should bring that to her attention.
10-09-2004, 08:17 PM #4Originally Posted by Hometown Hero
10-09-2004, 08:29 PM #5
this is ****ing funny!!!! I would just keep eating em.
10-10-2004, 09:54 AM #6Originally Posted by The Baron
BWAHAHAHA. funny **** bro. give your body what it wants.
10-10-2004, 10:43 AM #7she woke up and went into the kitchen to make coffee, she saw me in the dining room with 5 or 6 empty sardine tins in front of me and I was drinking the oil from the last can.I crumbled up a couple of ritz crackers in the tin to soak up the last of the oil and ate it all up, and watching her tits bounce around got me feeling pretty friskyShe says I am warped, or have brain cancer or a serious vitamin deficiency or something and won't talk to me. Hey, no biggie, I don't like talking to her anywayshe says they are turning me into a deranged monster or some sort of uncontrollable sex thug
10-10-2004, 11:15 AM #8
lol, bro thats the funniest thing ive read all day.
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