HOW TO SHOWER (worth a repost)

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10-25-2004, 10:43 PM
956Vette

HOW TO SHOWER (worth a repost)

Subject: HOW TO SHOWER

How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental
note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.

12. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

13. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower.

15. Dry with towel the size of a small country

16. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head.If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the
way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

4. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

5. Get in the shower.

6. Wash your face.

7. Wash your armpits.

8. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
off.
9. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

10. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
area.
11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
the soap.
12. Wash your hair.

13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

14. Pee.

15. Rinse off and get out of shower.

16. Partially dry off.

17. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of tub the whole time.
18. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

19. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan on.
20. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass
wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.
21. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the
truth behind this, there is something so very wrong
with you.
10-25-2004, 10:46 PM
LORDBLiTZ

bbaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaha!!!
10-25-2004, 10:47 PM
symatech

lol yeah I remember this post from awhile back. The 'Woo Woo' noise caught my attention, i know i've made it more than once :D

edit: aww crap i get it now 'worth a repost' and what not. alright sym way to go man the last horse finally crosses the finish line w00t w00t !!!!!! :lift:
10-25-2004, 10:48 PM
LORDBLiTZ

Vette, isn't that the noise billy makes when he walks by you? :D:D:D
10-25-2004, 10:48 PM
bigol'legs

WOO-WOO

:lol:
10-25-2004, 11:08 PM
Billy_Bathgate

Quote:

Originally Posted by LORDBLiTZ

Vette, isn't that the noise billy makes when he walks by you? :D:D:D

no its the sound you make when vette makes you grab your ankles
10-25-2004, 11:09 PM
1badcamaro

holy $hit, i about pissed myself when i read that, its so funny because its soooo true
10-25-2004, 11:14 PM
nathanw21

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the
way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

you always got ot shake you weiner at your girl if you walk by her naked.
this is the funniest sh!t i have read on here
10-25-2004, 11:21 PM
956Vette

Quote:

Originally Posted by nathanw21

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the
way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

you always got ot shake you weiner at your girl if you walk by her naked.
this is the funniest sh!t i have read on here

So, you takin notes there chief? I mean, where have you been? We all do this...it's a given....
10-25-2004, 11:28 PM
Soldier of Misfortune

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA thats the funniest thing Ive heard all week.
10-26-2004, 12:09 AM
AnabolicAlien

omg

OMG.

First, great thread bro!

I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh? :unsure:

A.A.
10-26-2004, 12:33 AM
CarvedFromStone

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien

OMG.

First, great thread bro!

I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh? :unsure:

A.A.

Are you ****ing kiding me, thats the sickest thing ive ever heard
10-26-2004, 12:40 AM
Angelis

LMAO bcs its so funny and so true
10-26-2004, 12:42 AM
Angelis

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien

I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh? :unsure:

A.A.

Now thats just gross bro... but hey in his defense its all plumbing it all ends up in the same place :lol:
10-26-2004, 12:50 AM
helios

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien

OMG.

First, great thread bro!

I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh? :unsure:

A.A.

:lol: :lol: :lol: holy **** that is funny
10-26-2004, 02:03 AM
bignatt

You cant forget after blowing your nose into your hands inspecting your snots
10-26-2004, 02:34 AM
snowman

:roflol: that was to funny, but true.
10-26-2004, 03:34 AM
Prime

Quote:

Originally Posted by 956Vette

Subject: HOW TO SHOWER
18. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

.

How?? My mirror is always steamed up. I must post a discrepancy with no.18
10-26-2004, 10:49 AM
decadbal

i concur.. great post, almost identical to my process
10-26-2004, 10:55 AM
Superhuman

that's great haha.
10-26-2004, 11:27 AM
hung-solo

thats classic hahahahaha.. i was thinking "how in the hell does he know this?" phew i am glad i am not the only one hahahaha
10-26-2004, 11:34 AM
skiing

really made me laugh! It is so true. It makes me think of me an my girl in our process. While I was reading a picture of my process went through my mind so close.
10-26-2004, 11:40 AM
JKali

OMG that sh*t is so funny. I had to hold it in at work or people would have noticed. That is so funny. I even have all the different hair things lined up on different sides and I hate it when the laundry isn't put in the laundry basket first.

And I always get p*ssed when my man leaves his towel on the bed...what's the deal with that??????
10-26-2004, 08:38 PM
Jackt23

VETTE THAT IS HILARIOUS>...who are you Seinfield...sounds like something he would make into a 30 minute episode....i cant stop laughing...just because they are all soo true...nothing beats a good WOO WOO!!!
10-26-2004, 09:02 PM
kloter1

sometimes if i gotta take a dump while in the shower ill just squat over the drain and let 'er rip. its convenient and quick. :bath:
10-26-2004, 09:31 PM
nathanw21

Quote:

Originally Posted by 956Vette

So, you takin notes there chief? I mean, where have you been? We all do this...it's a given....

no notes i just thought that i was the only one. glad to hear that is is a common practice!! :banana:
10-27-2004, 11:36 AM
Superhuman

Quote:

Originally Posted by kloter1

sometimes if i gotta take a dump while in the shower ill just squat over the drain and let 'er rip. its convenient and quick. :bath:

that's ill... :no:
10-27-2004, 11:48 AM
imann

good ****
10-27-2004, 11:58 AM
Juggernaut

I'm freakin crying from laughing on this end.............the shakin of the weiner at the little woman is so true. Hell, I do that while walking in the door after work. hahahahahahaha
10-27-2004, 04:58 PM
Animal Cracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien

OMG.

First, great thread bro!

I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh? :unsure:

A.A.

Doesnt everyone do that?:banana: