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  1. #1
    956Vette is offline AR-Elite Hall of Famer
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    Talking HOW TO SHOWER (worth a repost)

    Subject: HOW TO SHOWER


    How To Shower Like a Woman

    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
    hamper according to lights and darks.
    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
    husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental
    note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
    long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with
    43 added vitamins.
    6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
    minutes until red.
    9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
    body wash.
    10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

    11. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.

    12. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    13. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    14. Get out of shower.

    15. Dry with towel the size of a small country

    16. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
    head.If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
    areas.

    How To Shower Like a Man
    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
    leave them in a pile.
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the
    way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    4. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

    5. Get in the shower.

    6. Wash your face.

    7. Wash your armpits.

    8. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
    off.
    9. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    10. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
    area.
    11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
    the soap.
    12. Wash your hair.

    13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    14. Pee.

    15. Rinse off and get out of shower.

    16. Partially dry off.

    17. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
    was hanging out of tub the whole time.
    18. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    19. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
    fan on.
    20. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass
    wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
    'woo-woo' sound again.
    21. Throw wet towel on bed.

    If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the
    truth behind this, there is something so very wrong
    with you.

  2. #2
    LORDBLiTZ Guest
    bbaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaha!!!

  3. #3
    symatech's Avatar
    symatech is offline Retired Moderator
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    lol yeah I remember this post from awhile back. The 'Woo Woo' noise caught my attention, i know i've made it more than once

    edit: aww crap i get it now 'worth a repost' and what not. alright sym way to go man the last horse finally crosses the finish line w00t w00t !!!!!!

  4. #4
    LORDBLiTZ Guest
    Vette, isn't that the noise billy makes when he walks by you?

  5. #5
    bigol'legs's Avatar
    bigol'legs is offline Quadzilla
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    WOO-WOO


  6. #6
    Billy_Bathgate's Avatar
    Billy_Bathgate is offline AR Vet / Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by LORDBLiTZ
    Vette, isn't that the noise billy makes when he walks by you?
    no its the sound you make when vette makes you grab your ankles

  7. #7
    1badcamaro's Avatar
    1badcamaro is offline Anabolic Member
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    holy $hit, i about pissed myself when i read that, its so funny because its soooo true

  8. #8
    nathanw21's Avatar
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    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the
    way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    you always got ot shake you weiner at your girl if you walk by her naked.
    this is the funniest sh!t i have read on here

  9. #9
    956Vette is offline AR-Elite Hall of Famer
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    Quote Originally Posted by nathanw21
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the
    way,shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    you always got ot shake you weiner at your girl if you walk by her naked.
    this is the funniest sh!t i have read on here
    So, you takin notes there chief? I mean, where have you been? We all do this...it's a given....

  10. #10
    Soldier of Misfortune's Avatar
    Soldier of Misfortune is offline Senior Member
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    BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA thats the funniest thing Ive heard all week.

  11. #11
    AnabolicAlien Guest

    omg

    OMG.

    First, great thread bro!

    I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh?

    A.A.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien
    OMG.

    First, great thread bro!

    I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh?

    A.A.
    Are you ****ing kiding me, thats the sickest thing ive ever heard

  13. #13
    Angelis's Avatar
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    LMAO bcs its so funny and so true

  14. #14
    Angelis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien
    I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh?

    A.A.
    Now thats just gross bro... but hey in his defense its all plumbing it all ends up in the same place

  15. #15
    helios's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien
    OMG.

    First, great thread bro!

    I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh?

    A.A.
    holy **** that is funny

  16. #16
    bignatt's Avatar
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    You cant forget after blowing your nose into your hands inspecting your snots

  17. #17
    snowman's Avatar
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    that was to funny, but true.

  18. #18
    Prime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 956Vette
    Subject: HOW TO SHOWER
    18. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    .
    How?? My mirror is always steamed up. I must post a discrepancy with no.18

  19. #19
    decadbal's Avatar
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    i concur.. great post, almost identical to my process

  20. #20
    Superhuman's Avatar
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    that's great haha.

  21. #21
    hung-solo's Avatar
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    thats classic hahahahaha.. i was thinking "how in the hell does he know this?" phew i am glad i am not the only one hahahaha

  22. #22
    skiing is offline Associate Member
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    really made me laugh! It is so true. It makes me think of me an my girl in our process. While I was reading a picture of my process went through my mind so close.

  23. #23
    JKali's Avatar
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    OMG that sh*t is so funny. I had to hold it in at work or people would have noticed. That is so funny. I even have all the different hair things lined up on different sides and I hate it when the laundry isn't put in the laundry basket first.

    And I always get p*ssed when my man leaves his towel on the bed...what's the deal with that??????

  24. #24
    Jackt23's Avatar
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    VETTE THAT IS HILARIOUS>...who are you Seinfield...sounds like something he would make into a 30 minute episode....i cant stop laughing...just because they are all soo true...nothing beats a good WOO WOO!!!

  25. #25
    kloter1's Avatar
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    sometimes if i gotta take a dump while in the shower ill just squat over the drain and let 'er rip. its convenient and quick.

  26. #26
    nathanw21's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 956Vette
    So, you takin notes there chief? I mean, where have you been? We all do this...it's a given....
    no notes i just thought that i was the only one. glad to hear that is is a common practice!!

  27. #27
    Superhuman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kloter1
    sometimes if i gotta take a dump while in the shower ill just squat over the drain and let 'er rip. its convenient and quick.
    that's ill...

  28. #28
    imann is offline Member
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    good ****

  29. #29
    Juggernaut's Avatar
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    I'm freakin crying from laughing on this end.............the shakin of the weiner at the little woman is so true. Hell, I do that while walking in the door after work. hahahahahahaha

  30. #30
    Animal Cracker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnabolicAlien
    OMG.

    First, great thread bro!

    I just wanted to say that I knew this guy in college who would take dumps in the shower. Then he'd push them down through the grate with his feet to get rid of them. Gross eh?

    A.A.
    Doesnt everyone do that?
    Last edited by BamaSlamma; 10-27-2004 at 05:00 PM.

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