In light of all the elitist and non-elitist groups forming, we here in Australia (ok we may be an overstatment...ok ok it's just me at present) have unanimously decided to forge the A.S.S. alliance.
A.S.S. is the acronymn for the Australian Sarcotic Society.
We here in Australia live for A.S.S., and feel A.S.S. is very close to us as an individual body.
Having lived and breathed A.S.S. in spirit for a long time now, I feel it is time show my A.S.S. to the whole world, and allow anyone who wishes to be in my A.S.S. a reality.
Please note that not everyone will be allowed into my A.S.S.
My A.S.S. has some exclusivity about it, and I don't wish to whore my A.S.S. out to just anybody who wants a peice of it.
At this stage I am looking for a vice president to help control my A.S.S., and help monitor my A.S.S's usage, whether that be on a daily or hourly basis.
This person or persons will have unlimited access to all the benefits of my A.S.S., and anythig that comes out of it.
This person will also have fairly autonomous control of my A.S.S., and can basically do anything they want with it.
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to build and shape my A.S.S. from the ground up.
Once this occurs, it will not longer be my A.S.S., but our A.S.S., and we can do with it what we see fit.
We shall create rules and select new members to help make my A.S.S. all that it can be.
Australian members will be looked upon most favourably, and would certainly receive preferential treatment in my A.S.S.
So please, come help me take control of my A.S.S. and help me share it's bountiful delights with others.
My A.S.S. will truly be the envy of all others.
In a footnote, let it be declared now that we will not be accepting any applications from elitists, as I feel they will be bad for my A.S.S. However the A.E.U. and other non-elitists will be looked upon favourably.
I also wish to extend an offer of an alliance or some sort of pact with the A.E.U. and allow them free entry and free trade with my A.S.S.
Positions Vacant
Vice President of A.S.S.
Treasurer of A.S.S.
Secretary of A.S.S. (preferably female who likes cigars and will fetch coffee - please note we are an equal opportunity employer)
Enforcers (titled Pains in the A.S.S.)
Turd Farmers (also known as **** Kickers - the lowliest rank)
Court Jester (titled A.S.S. clown)
Tubby
President, Founder and lover of A.S.S.
A.S.S. @ 2004 by Tubby (all merchandise bearing any resemblance to my A.S.S. is the sole right of the A.S.S. Inc, and any reference to A.S.S. will attract royalties)
