New GirlFriend(WTF I do)

Heres the deal. I got a new girlfriend. Im 24 she is 18( I can deal with this). The problem I see, is that she has tons of druggie friends. Her phone rings and rings all day long with people fuked up or wanting to get F up. I like her alot, she is cute as hell. She does alot of pills and smokes alot of pot, and sometimes other stuff. I was 18 once before too, and I lived that life all through high school, but I havent touched any drug since I was 21 and I dont want to. I know its easy to say there are other fish in the sea, but I totally adore this fish. She only has been with one guy and is clean(tested). Thats another turn on, she respects herself that way. But she doesnt understand that drugs are bad. Last night we hung out with all her friends(she is from another city so I dont know any of them). One guy has coke, one has week, another has different pills. I cant deal with that schit. But Im a sucker for cute girls. I mean, her ass, legs, body, face, skin.. Like a 18 year old model. When we drink and party she is cool as hell and we are all over each other.. But when she and i are with her friends who are F up or getting F up, she seems shady and doesnt put much attention into me as she does with weed or whatever it is. She lived a tough life, her dad is in prison, 2 of her good friends died in the last year, 17 year old and a 21 year old.. Her half sister is in foster home. Im thinking mabee I can help her. I care about her alot, I get attached easy. I dont know what I want to do. At first all I wanted was a piece of ass, but now we became Gf/Bf and the table has turned. I was afraid of this. I want to help her, but when I was 18, no girl friend could have changed me. I had to learn through experiance that its wasnt the life for me. What would you do.

Brother, drop her like a hot rock.

I don't believe that you will be able change her and she will eventually drag you down to her level.

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Originally Posted by solid-d

Heres the deal. I got a new girlfriend. Im 24 she is 18( I can deal with this). The problem I see, is that she has tons of druggie friends. Her phone rings and rings all day long with people fuked up or wanting to get F up. I like her alot, she is cute as hell. She does alot of pills and smokes alot of pot, and sometimes other stuff. I was 18 once before too, and I lived that life all through high school, but I havent touched any drug since I was 21 and I dont want to. I know its easy to say there are other fish in the sea, but I totally adore this fish. She only has been with one guy and is clean(tested). Thats another turn on, she respects herself that way. But she doesnt understand that drugs are bad. Last night we hung out with all her friends(she is from another city so I dont know any of them). One guy has coke, one has week, another has different pills. I cant deal with that schit. But Im a sucker for cute girls. I mean, her ass, legs, body, face, skin.. Like a 18 year old model. When we drink and party she is cool as hell and we are all over each other.. But when she and i are with her friends who are F up or getting F up, she seems shady and doesnt put much attention into me as she does with weed or whatever it is. She lived a tough life, her dad is in prison, 2 of her good friends died in the last year, 17 year old and a 21 year old.. Her half sister is in foster home. Im thinking mabee I can help her. I care about her alot, I get attached easy. I dont know what I want to do. At first all I wanted was a piece of ass, but now we became Gf/Bf and the table has turned. I was afraid of this. I want to help her, but when I was 18, no girl friend could have changed me. I had to learn through experiance that its wasnt the life for me. What would you do.

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i wouldnt invest much in that relationship bro. sounds to me that she isnt serious about this. i have seen this **** a thousand times. dont dedicate your heart to her man thats all i can say. the girl has issues that more than likely you cant help

I would tell her that I can't participate in that sort of lifestyle and while you think that the two of you could have a lot of potential, you can't continue to see her as long as she chooses to follow that path. You've got my number, call me when you decide you would prefer a good relationship over drugs and parties.

Its hard but there are other pretty, 18 something model looking women that don't abuse their bodies and won't put you in a bad spot by being around all that crap.

Good luck

been there trust me let her go it aint worth it in the end

This reply'll border on flaming...forgive me mods...but:

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Originally Posted by solid-d

I was 18 once before too, and I lived that life all through high school, but I havent touched any drug since I was 21 and I dont want to.

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1.)Get her cleanedup or dump her

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Originally Posted by solid-d

But she doesnt understand that drugs are bad. Last night we hung out with all her friends(she is from another city so I dont know any of them). One guy has coke, one has week, another has different pills. I cant deal with that schit.

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2.)She doesn't 'understand' that drugs are bad...this is just you making excuses for her.She rolls wid guys that do coke and smoke weed..you're allowing her to put you both at risk for incarceration

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Originally Posted by solid-d

But Im a sucker for cute girls. I mean, her ass, legs, body, face, skin.. Like a 18 year old model.
he seems shady and doesnt put much attention into me as she does with weed or whatever it is.I care about her alot, I get attached easy. I dont know what I want to do. At first all I wanted was a piece of ass

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3.)You're a sucker for cute girls? No, reading this, you're beyond 'sucker'.Not once have mentioned a thing called personality...And you've admitted going into it just looking for a piece of a.ss in the beginning.

4.)Of course she seems shady...when she's high...it's called being high.Of course at that point she seems to care more about the sh.it she's smoking than she cares about you.It's called addiction..look it up :scratch:

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Originally Posted by solid-d

She lived a tough life, her dad is in prison, 2 of her good friends died in the last year, 17 year old and a 21 year old.. Her half sister is in foster home. Im thinking mabee I can help her.

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5.)You just want to 'help' her...FYI...An addict cannot be 'cured' of said addiction unless he/she first recognises it as 'wrong' and secondly wants to do something about it.FYI-2: She doesn't Think drugs are wrong!

You've bitten off more than you can chew.

~Narkissos

Man Nark - Lay it out there LOL

I wouldn't even bother with 18 year olds as far as a 'relationship' is concerned. You're 24 man, at 18 they're old enough to fvck but not much else.

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Originally Posted by solid-d

Heres the deal. I got a new girlfriend. Im 24 she is 18( I can deal with this). The problem I see, is that she has tons of druggie friends. Her phone rings and rings all day long with people fuked up or wanting to get F up. I like her alot, she is cute as hell. She does alot of pills and smokes alot of pot, and sometimes other stuff. I was 18 once before too, and I lived that life all through high school, but I havent touched any drug since I was 21 and I dont want to. I know its easy to say there are other fish in the sea, but I totally adore this fish. She only has been with one guy and is clean(tested). Thats another turn on, she respects herself that way. But she doesnt understand that drugs are bad. Last night we hung out with all her friends(she is from another city so I dont know any of them). One guy has coke, one has week, another has different pills. I cant deal with that schit. But Im a sucker for cute girls. I mean, her ass, legs, body, face, skin.. Like a 18 year old model. When we drink and party she is cool as hell and we are all over each other.. But when she and i are with her friends who are F up or getting F up, she seems shady and doesnt put much attention into me as she does with weed or whatever it is. She lived a tough life, her dad is in prison, 2 of her good friends died in the last year, 17 year old and a 21 year old.. Her half sister is in foster home. Im thinking mabee I can help her. I care about her alot, I get attached easy. I dont know what I want to do. At first all I wanted was a piece of ass, but now we became Gf/Bf and the table has turned. I was afraid of this. I want to help her, but when I was 18, no girl friend could have changed me. I had to learn through experiance that its wasnt the life for me. What would you do.

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Dont drop her at all, she is like a pearl, with an ugly covering. Instead of abandoning her, and ruining her life, try and make her better. Trust me if your a good guy, she is lucky, cause if not, she will start going out with some drug addict.

Now her father is in prison, a pattern with girls is that if they never had a father in their lives, or the father is dead, they go for older guys, usually much older. To make up for the lack of their father.

And one more piece of advice, since she has gone through a bad childhood, dont be too nice, if you are, she will drop you easily. Girls that went through alot, like bad guys, that treat them like ****, they cant stand good guys that treat them like princesses, I can guarntee you that.

So its a tough situation, you have to be nice and bad at the same time, you have to change her and be tough at the same time.

Take it as a challenge, and try not to get too attached.

ditch the chick, she will do nothing but continue to make bad decisions, and it sounds like thats all she knows how to do anyway.. she will either turn into the right life or end up a junkie pregnant statistic, you cant help her, only she can. id leave her, chances are shes gonna follow her family bc its the only life she knows. good luck

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Originally Posted by Polska

I wouldn't even bother with 18 year olds as far as a 'relationship' is concerned. You're 24 man, at 18 they're old enough to fvck but not much else.

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i would have to agree with this statement. girls at 18 arent looking for relationships. they are just looking to have a good time. plus dude your 24, cant you get girls closer to your age?? it sounds like you need to get out more and meet more ppl. the only reason your so hung up on this girl is because you dont have any other options right now. i promise you if you go out and meet 10 new girls in the next week at least 3 of them will be better than this girl. so go out and meet some new girls. hang out with different ppl. go to bars. go to clubs. i duno, go to the gym. i actually meet a lot of girls at the gym. go out more and stop stressing over this girl. if after you meet 10 new girls (and give them a chance) if your not happy then i would say go back to this girl but i have no doubt youll be HAPPIER with some new girl.

man i know it will be hard to let her go, but you need to stay as far away from her ass as u can. she sounds like nothing but trouble. she isnt going to do anything but bring you down and hurt you in the end. i have seen this **** before. on another note, young girls arent even worth having a relationship with, when they get about 23 or so they forget about being a wild child and start wanting a serious relationship. most 18 year olds are selfish little sluts in my opinion. well hope this advice helps. :fight:

bang her and drop her and leave it at that, 1 more post to go lol

Bro, I was in a situation almost exactly like this, except I was 19 and she was 16. Run like your ass is on fire, bro. It can't and won't end up like you want it to. It's a one in a million shot.

Keep rubbin it off in her. So what if she doesn't want a relationship, make her think you have fallen in love then tell her your a liar and nobody will ever love her. The making of a future titty dancer.

Unfortunetley, I must agree w/ these guys.... it will be very difficult to change an 18 year old w/ that mindset. If you really care for her, then, of course, try to help her out.... just be prepared to get hurt/fail. good luck bro!!

You have no future with her as things stand. You can't change her, either. SHE has to be willing to change. and not just willing to talk the talk or "try" to leave the drugs alone. She must be willing to STOP and NEVER DO THEM AGAIN. Sounds simple, right? But they never do. They won't muster up the will to just leave that stuff alone. It is their LIFE, that drug stuff. And she has to totally abandon all of her "friends" who use drugs, and totally avoid them and the places they hang out. No rehab program can possibly work unless she is willing to do that much on her own! Give her an ultimatum, just in case she is one of the good ones, one of the excruciatingly rare ones who will just abandon that life, and then dump her pretty ass when she refuses. She will drag you down. Maybe she won't make a drug fiend out of you, but it will be a cruel burden to bear for the rest of your life, and your children's life. She will ruin you financially, make you bitter, and who knows... possibly lead you to prison.

Okay, so she is cute as a kitten right now. What will she look like in 10 years? What about her health after 20-30 years of constant drug use? She probably won't have health problems in 30 years... she will probably be dead. I would also NOT bring her into the house. Druggies will turn on you. They steal. They stash drugs in your pad when they have enough to stash somewhere. They will USE you. Sure, she says she loves you, and she probably means it. BUT she loves the drugs more. Ask her! Ask her to choose between you, or drugs and drug culture, and see what she says. It will probably be some crap like "Why should I have to choose? That isn't fair and you are a very small minded man!" or something like that. The fact of the matter is, you won't be losing anything. There are plenty more chicks to boink, and plenty to fall in love with and make a family with. This one you must avoid! Seriously, she will wreck your life if you let her, and certainly wreck your mind and emotions. SHE IS A DRUGGIE! That should sum it up and tell you all you need to know.

Give her the ultimatum, and then leave her alone. Let yourself always remember that perky little 18YO hardbelly chick instead of watching her deteriorate into some THING. If she chooses you over drugs, get her into a rehab program right away! They will help her deal with the psychological needs she will have for years to come, maybe for her entire life. They will help improve her chances of staying clean. After that, you will still have your hands full. You will have a recovering addict to babysit for the rest of your life. It might well be worth it, if she will stay clean for you. And like others have said, even as young as you are, you are a "Daddy" figure to her, so you must assume a lot of responsibility and control over her. You must always be firm. You will probably not have a real partnership type relationship for many years to come, but be ready for it to evolve into something like that. Little girls seeking "Daddy" and finding him in an older man often toss aside this dependency later on, typically in their early 30's, and the controlling man who they found so comforting and secure at 18 or 20, suddenly seems to her to be a stifling control freak and she wants freedom. Keep that in mind. You will always have some sort of psychological game you have to play to keep her.

Been there... Done that... dated a 19 year old when I was 24 and all
she did was lie to go out to clubs with her fake ID behind my back and
get drunk and high and cheat as well... she doesn't sound ready for a
relationship to me so keep it as a sex thing, but don't go falling for her
or you'll regret it bro... She needs to get it outta her system, so even
if you talk to her about it she'll just be more slick about how she goes
about doing it... Trust me my 19 year old who i was dumb enuf then to
get way to serious with told me in the end she knew I was perfect for
her, but she also needed to have her fun too... After all she was only
19 which she used as her out to do whatever she wanted... Not worth
the time and trouble, but this one only you can decide... Is she worth
going thru all that???

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Originally Posted by CAUSASIAN

Dont drop her at all, she is like a pearl, with an ugly covering. Instead of abandoning her, and ruining her life, try and make her better. Trust me if your a good guy, she is lucky, cause if not, she will start going out with some drug addict.

Now her father is in prison, a pattern with girls is that if they never had a father in their lives, or the father is dead, they go for older guys, usually much older. To make up for the lack of their father.

And one more piece of advice, since she has gone through a bad childhood, dont be too nice, if you are, she will drop you easily. Girls that went through alot, like bad guys, that treat them like ****, they cant stand good guys that treat them like princesses, I can guarntee you that.

So its a tough situation, you have to be nice and bad at the same time, you have to change her and be tough at the same time.

Take it as a challenge, and try not to get too attached.

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You just gave this guy the worst **** advice i have ever heard in my life. If he took your advice, his life would be a farkin nightmare. Change this girl? LMAO! Whatever, time might change her but he can't.

Run like hell and don't be such a jackass, "she is so cute"..who cares if she is cute..go find another that is not on the road to absolute destruction unless you wanna join her?

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Originally Posted by muriloninja

You just gave this guy the worst **** advice i have ever heard in my life. If he took your advice, his life would be a farkin nightmare. Change this girl? LMAO! Whatever, time might change her but he can't.

Run like hell and don't be such a jackass, "she is so cute"..who cares if she is cute..go find another that is not on the road to absolute destruction unless you wanna join her?

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You always have the nicest things to say....... :lol: :lol:

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Originally Posted by muriloninja

You just gave this guy the worst **** advice i have ever heard in my life. If he took your advice, his life would be a farkin nightmare. Change this girl? LMAO! Whatever, time might change her but he can't.

Run like hell and don't be such a jackass, "she is so cute"..who cares if she is cute..go find another that is not on the road to absolute destruction unless you wanna join her?

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Well unlike you, I dont look for selfish reasons for my motives.

As he described alot of people have dont **** when they were younger. You are the people you hang around. If she makes new friends she might change.

Or you can be selfish and run. But if you truly do like her, helping her out is a good deed.

Have her make a choice between you and the drugs and you will lose.
You make a choice between her/durgs or life w/o her. You lose her, you live to see better days.
You don't need this. I heard Love Line yesterday and lot's of other days. Addicts will only sober up when they are ready on thier own. It takes a twelve step program and often they will relapse several times. You can't changer her. She will change on her own when she wants and you might get a call from her, if she remembers you.
Tell her you want to fvck and that's all unless she will sober up. Hit-it-and-quit-it. Tell her to call you if&when she sobers up.
Find some one addiction free next time.

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Originally Posted by Bigen12

Brother, drop her like a hot rock.

I don't believe that you will be able change her and she will eventually drag you down to her level.

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I agree. She's good f-ck buddy material, but she definitely doesn't sound like she fits into your lifestyle.

I do feel for ya, bro...I get easily attached also, but since this isn't me in this situation, its easy for me to be objective: take Bigen's advice! ;) Not saying she's a bad person, yall are just worlds apart...and one of ya is going to drift into the other's world...:(

When I see hot girls who are into the drug scene, all I can think is, "what a shame"...:(

A year ago I would of agreed with the rest of the board until OCT 29 2003. I met this chick...HOT...I bounced at a popular club in my town. To make a long sappy story short she was in the same boat. She had a fvcked up life,actually dealed coke for a while and had the worst friends ever...loosers! I, on the other had went to school, had 2 reliable jobs, cared for myself and was a nice guy overall. I to wanted to change her...people gave me the same advice...GET AWAY. Anyway...I stayed. Now a year later and a lot of BULLSCHIT and a lot of patience I couldnt of asked for a better women. She has totally changed. Give it a chance my brother, but DO NOT push her, lead by example. My girl has a legit job and is going to school. We enjoy life together now, its freaking amazing. Test the waters...thats all I can say.

And then you can sing that song:
You're to good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

[QUOTE=
Its hard but there are other pretty, 18 something model looking women that don't abuse their bodies and won't put you in a bad spot by being around all that crap.

[/QUOTE]

WHERE?!?!!? WHERE!?!?!?! GOD ****IT WOMAN TELL ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

[QUOTE=JDawg1536]

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Originally Posted by
Its hard but there are other pretty, 18 something model looking women that don't abuse their bodies and won't put you in a bad spot by being around all that crap.

[/QUOTE

WHERE?!?!!? WHERE!?!?!?! GOD ****IT WOMAN TELL ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

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When I move down there next summer..........I"ll help you find one!

I just wanted to say thanks to all you guys for giving your advise.. Not to sound corny or anything but I really needed this kind of advise to clear my head a bit, you guys are good people.. I plan on breaking it off tonight.. Mabee not totally, but I will stick it to her, and plan on leaving.. I cant deal with this ****.. Its funny, because all these dudes she hangs with had been in Jail, and I know half of the prision guards there. Hell, I almosted worked there.. There droping names of inmates, Im droping names of prision guards to see who we know..Ironic right.. Anyway.. Im gonna give her the boot, on focus on getting to 9%BF..

kill her, hid ethe body

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Originally Posted by Decadbal

kill her, hid ethe body

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thats your answer to everything :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by JDawg1536

thats your answer to everything :rolleyes:

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Thats becuase its so versitile and can be used for any problem!

Yeah dude, give this chick the boot. It doesnt take a rocket surgeon to tell that drugs are a one way street down the toilet. Not only to the user but everyone involved w/ them.

I was seein this one chick who tried suicide 3 years ago, her friend tried it while we were together, she smokes all the time, her friends are a bunch of druggies and dip$hits, and she got diagnosed w/ depression and is on zoloft. As hot as she was I had to get rid of her. Sure it was hard but I dont need all that $hit. Neither do you dude.

Yea I know she is no good for me.. I didnt break it off last night like I planned to.. Now she is comming over to watch a movie.. Im confused..

Its alot harder to turn that nice piece of ass down than I thought.. Why am I cursed with a penis..

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Originally Posted by solid-d

Yea I know she is no good for me.. I didnt break it off last night like I planned to.. Now she is comming over to watch a movie.. Im confused..

Its alot harder to turn that nice piece of ass down than I thought.. Why am I cursed with a penis..

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just keep her on the side for sex, dont let it go any further.nuthin wrong wit that.

That is all I want, but overall Im too nice of a guy.. I gotta treat her well and be polite, then sex is the outcome... Im not the guy just getting laid.. Its hard for me to change..

That is exactly what I wanted, sex on the side. But she wanted commitment and I knew it wouldnt work cuz of all her issues. So it fell apart. I still talk to her online and I havent seen a boob, much less touched one, in a month n a half so next time I talk to her Imma ease into sumthin like that n see if she wants to have some fun. But if she gets pissed Ill play it off like I didnt mean it. The other girl Ive been talkin too said shes gonna be a hermit all week studyin for 4 tests this week. IM ON M1T AND NEEEEED ASS!!!!!!!! This sucks dude.

Sounds to me your not so much hurt by the lifestyle moreso than the lack of attention she gives you when shes around other guys . I think your jealous.....but probabally rightly so.

Dont get me wrong drugs can be bad , but hell she's 19 and going to experiment . Me and my wife still party pretty hard....but together , with trust and rules and priorities .

I think your ready for a real relationship......and she's ready to party .

Go your seperate ways bro...even if you say your only there for the a$$.....your only fooling yourself .

good luck