Thread: morning dumps
11-12-2004, 07:57 AM #1
take this as you will but guys, i love my morning dumps.. my usual ritual is to read something while in the process of dumping. i truly believe that i have learned more on the can that i ever had at school on any level. i read anything from field and stream, sports illustrated, playboy, north carolina wildlife, anything dealing with history and my favorite u.s. news and newsweek..if i dont have anything to read i examine parts of my life mentally. usually i am in deep thought. i think about what i need to get done for the day and etc........ you guys have to understand that this is my favorite part of my day. i am relaxed and at ease with everything that is going on with my life... so think about this while you are pinching one off and the hair on your neck is standing.. peace guys i have to shiit! back in a few
11-12-2004, 08:01 AM #2AR Hall of Fame
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
11-12-2004, 08:07 AM #3
I read muscle mags, ski/snowmobile mags, everything, or just think.. but I take like 6 dumps a day so I should be super smart lol
11-12-2004, 08:08 AM #4Originally Posted by needmorestrength
11-12-2004, 08:13 AM #5
Remember to use baby wipes though
11-12-2004, 08:14 AM #6Originally Posted by hung-solo
11-12-2004, 08:15 AM #7Originally Posted by needmorestrength
11-12-2004, 08:22 AM #8
The morning dump is a great time.....I call it The Three S's: Sh!t. Shower and Shave (that's if i decide to shave that day). I go about 3 - 4 times a day. I think needmore has a broblem....or he ain't takin' a dump, if u know what I mean! He needs a little "alone" time. Unfortunately I have the misfortune of having to work with Needmore and he spends more time in the can than he does at his desk!! Oh....I think he just got up again and is headed towards the crapper!!
11-12-2004, 08:33 AM #9
I do my business and go. I cant dilly dally on the throne and read...
11-12-2004, 08:40 AM #10Originally Posted by OGPackin
11-12-2004, 08:43 AM #11Member
Originally Posted by OGPackin
- Join Date
- Dec 2003
Last edited by Slick Arrado; 10-18-2006 at 08:38 PM.
11-12-2004, 08:58 AM #12Originally Posted by hung-solo
I keep my subscription to Maxim magazine up to date for this exact reason; however ENR, or Guns and Ammo will adequately suffice.
I myself prefer the once a day dispersion method, it seems to work best for me. Unless, of course, I come down with a case of the El Toro two steps, after which there will be no limit to the destruction that I create.
I have been attempting to deviate from my normal defecating habits slightly. I am endeavoring to shift my dookie time till just before meetings here at work. For those who don’t know, in our jobsite trailer complex, we have a plan / meeting trailer, which has a bathroom in it. I find it particularly appealing to produce my daily porcelain piercing just before the start of a meeting. This strategy works wonders at reducing the useless time spent in meetings.
11-12-2004, 09:05 AM #13Originally Posted by Bigen12
ba hahahahaha! now thats an idea hahahahaha... atleast you use your "time" wisely and to better your surroundings hahahahaha
11-12-2004, 09:09 AM #14Originally Posted by hung-solo
The hardest part of my fiendish plan is not busting out laughing as everyone is gagging, heaving and running for the door. That takes real discipline.....
I always find it appealing to take a crap on the man’s time….
11-12-2004, 09:25 AM #15Originally Posted by Bigen12
11-12-2004, 09:58 AM #16
Ive been very busy lately w/ class and stuff so Ive found Im holding it in till almost running to the can. Its not all bad tho, as it all shoots out at once. And we all know how satisfying it feels when you fire off a Patriot missile.
One time before military science I was blowin one out and some one came in, needed the only can in the room and left again. When I was done the person left thier folders and beret on the paper towel dispenser. The beret had the Lieutenant Colonel's rank on it and I just made a MOPP level IV situation. I didnt know whether to run out of the bathroom or open the door laughing my ass off. I decided to leave with a GOOD MORNING SIR!! and a "just fvcked the mayors daughter and burned down city hall" look on my face.
11-12-2004, 10:00 AM #17Originally Posted by Soldier of Misfortune
11-12-2004, 10:02 AM #18Banned
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
I completely understand almost half the time when i do my homework i do it while on the crapper I feel i can focus more.
11-12-2004, 10:54 AM #19
I only take one crap a day to diet/time constrictions but god dam when i go I GO!@# and yeah you are right.. i usually buy two books every 1-2 weeks one for the can one for the train.. and albeit i spend more time on the train the can books is read first.. this weeks selections are Stiff by Mary Roach and London Bridges by James Patterson..
11-12-2004, 12:43 PM #20
with all the protein you consume, you only crap once a day?!?! oh man, i dump at least 3 times day, usually more.
11-12-2004, 12:49 PM #21
i take like 4 but when I was mass gaining it was like 6-8 a day, not to mention all the pee breaks from the 2 gallons of watter per day!
11-12-2004, 12:54 PM #22
im all about droppin my kids off at the pool..
11-12-2004, 12:59 PM #23
I just got through hanging a brown bear in the porcelain cave.
11-12-2004, 01:01 PM #24Originally Posted by Bigen12
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