A miracle is waiting for you -- open quickly!

[Tock]

That's written across the front of an envelope a friend got in the mail. On the back it says, "You could receive $500,000 in the next 30 days! Please open . . ."
Inside are 4 pages of crap from a woman named Maria Duval (who, it seems, has her own website at www.mariaduval.com
Evidently she bills herself as a psychic of some sort.

Anyway, it seems she's peddling a "Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes" for $19 postage paid, or (oh boy!) two Sacred Rings plus three free gifts plus one talisman for $29 postage paid. $39 will get ya three Sacred Rings, in your choice of gold, silver, or antique. If anyone wants one, they can send their $$$ (or perhaps show up on person) to

Maria Duval
55 Madison Ave, suite 400 #4070
Morristown, NJ 07960-7348

A quick look on Mapquest shows her office right across from the city hospital right off of the freeway (287).

Anyway . . . the way you use these rings is described thusly:

------------
HOW TO USE YOUR RING OF PROSPERITY AND WISHES ALONG WITH YOUR HOLY "KNOCK ON WOOD" . . . and see all your wishes come true within the next 30 days!
Six easy steps:
1) Write one wish on the special "wishing strip" (any wish)
2) Fold the Wishing Strip and place it in the pouch, with the Holy "Knock on Wood."
3) Take your Ring of Prosperity and simultaneously touch the "Knock on Wood" and the "Wishing Strip."
4) Carry your Sacred Ring with you -- or wear it around your neck for at least 24 hours.
5) Place the pouch containing the "Knock on Wood" and the Wishing Strip in a safe place.
6) Repeat for each new wish -- one wish at a time.

Why is this Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes so lucky?
Because this Ring is not a normal ring. Used with a piece of Holy "Knock on Wood," it will make all you wishes quickly come true! There is no limitation...it is very effective for any kind of wish: wishes for money of course, but also wishes for better health, for an improved love life, etc. Your imagination is the limit...
It wil attract good luck (but especially money) like a magnet! You have 30 days to see all your wishes come true -- or it's Free!
Also Free: We will include 12 Wishing Strips with every Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes plus a piece of genuine Holy "Knock on Wood" -- the famous Sacred olive wood.

==========

There are 7 pages of this nonsense, and on the last page, it says:

Only read this if you have decided NOT to benefit from my offer of HELP or if you have decided NOT to try the Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes for the next 30 days. (Unlimited Wishes for at least 30 days!)

An IMPORTANT message for YOU, Tina, who has NOT been lucky in life.

Frankly, dear Tina, I'm puzzled . . .
I fail to understand why you are still hesitating to send me back your Reservation Coupon. Especially since your problems will probably NOT be solved by themselves.
Tina, you must absolutely do something, and absolutely want to help you. Otherwise, it will be too late.
Maybe you think the price of the Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes seems too high? That is why I decided to offer it to you at only half-price and that is why you have the choice of keeping it for 30 days - just to try it. A few dollars to see all you wishes quickly come true is, in my view, a very good investment for you.
In any case, if you are not 100% satisfied, I will completely refund your contribution. You can even keep your Free Gifts! So there is no risk. You have everything to gain by sending in your Reservation Coupon today.
Because of all that this Sacred Ring along with the Holy "Knock on Wood" has done for me and many others, I cannot stop urging you to try at least one last time today. Even the most skeptical are amazed by the Powers of the Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes and the Holy "Knock on Wood."
I am often surprised when I read the letters I receive. So many people lead such difficult lives. Often, however, so little is needed to change all that for the better. The Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes is waiting to help you.
Tina, why should you continue a life like this, when I can help you?
If you returen your Reservation Coupon before Friday of next week, I promise to give you all the help you need. You will NEVER be disappointed. You will soon thank me - like all those whom I have helped so far.
Return your Reservation Coupon today to receive your Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes as quickly as possible -- as well as your Free Gifts. This way, you will not forget and regret it later. Once more, if I do not hear from you soon, I will offer your Sacred Ring to someone else.
For anything in the world, I would not want to see you miss this offer that will never be made available to you again.
I await to receive your Reservation Coupon withing a few days.
Thank you,
Your Devoted Friend,
Maria Duval

PS-Don't forget that I'm going to include a piece of Holy "Knock on Wood" along with your Sacred Ring of Prosperity and Wishes! Don't forget my 30-day Guarantee: All your wishes granted -- or it's free!

-----------------------

Geez, there's too much of this nonsense to type, although I am having a good chuckle over this . . . but it is sad that people actually do respond to this silliness, which only makes them $30 or $40 further down the hole.

Oh well.

For your amusement and perusal . . .

-Tock

[symatech]

a fool and his money are soon parted

[decadbal]

do it.. never distrust a psychic..lol

[mitch428cj]

ill sell you this powerful ring for only 20 bucks , it inflicts great damage to those hit with it

[IntensityX]

I'm psychic and I predict that you will get ****ed over really bad if you believe in this crap

[workdude]

Psychic....Then that's a done deal...You'll get taken..

[CarvedFromStone]

wow sign me up

[clockworks]

wow sign me up

Ditto, for only $40 why not risk it? I mean, all my wishes could come true...

[Tock]

This charlatan also says:

"IMPORTANT: You must NOT talk abut this letter until you have received at least $5,000 or see one of your most pressing wishes come true."

Ya, this slimy wench wants to make sure her marks don't get talked out of buying her crap . . .

This kind of crap pisses me off . . . taking advantage of other people's superstition and ignorance . . .

-Tock

[ticboy]

hey tock, you sure you havent organized a deal- free internet advertsing and she gives you a ring. lol

You gotta love stuff like this, any reasonable person thinks what a load of crap, others almost break their hands diving for their credit cards.

[Tock]

A while back, I was looking for a gift for my rich grandmother who has everything and needs nothing, so since she played lots of bingo, I figured I'd get her a lucky charm. I went to the candle & herb shop in a poor part of town, and ya, I found all sorts of stuff that promised to bring good luck, find lost things, reunite lovers, etc, and lots of things specially made for bingo.
While I was perusing their collection, a distraught woman stumbled into the shop and sputtered to the cashier, "Is Madame Sonia in? I need to speak to her right away!" She sounded pretty desperate. The cashier replied, "She is consulting with a client right now and can't be disturbed." "But I need to see her right away!" she replied. She pleaded and pleaded with the cashier until she finally walked past some curtains at the back of the shop, and returned with a woman in a long dress and a kercheif on her head. I guessed that she had been reading palms or tarot cards for another customer in the back. "What's the problem?" said the woman in the kercheif. "Oh madame Sonia, my husband has just had a heart attack, what should I do? What should I do?" and she began sobbing hysterically.

I don't remember what happened after that, but I do recall thinking how pitiful that poor gullible woman was, relying on a G.D. fortune-teller to guide her through life's problems--particularly with something as obvious as a spouse's heart attack.

---

Another time, a friend of mine and I were bored on a Friday night, and on a whim, we stopped at a palm reader's place . . . she had a sign on her front porch that said, "Palms read, $1.00" So, we figured the price was right, why not see what that was all about?
We knocked on the door, and an ancient woman opened the door and rasped, "What do you boys want?" I said, "Palms read, $1?" and pointed to the sign. "Very well," she said in a thick East European accent. "Come in."
She sat us down in her living room next to an old man leaning back in a recliner munching on a ham sandwich and watching TV. She said, "For $1 I answer any 1 question. For $5 I read two palms and answer three questions." I figured I may as well pop for two palms and 3 questions, so I gave her a five, and took my friend into her consulting room. He came back 15 minutes later, and I took my turn. I don't remember what she said, but I could tell she was trying to read my facial expressions, trying to use them to guide her as she made guesses about my past. My poker face must have thrown her off, 'cause she finally made a few generalizations that could have applied to anyone, and the session ended.

Once outside, we started chuckling between ourselves . . . but I was surprised when my friend told me that he had mentioned something about his sick sister, and the palm reader told him that she could cure her. She promised to take 5 candles a day for 6 days to the local Catholic Church and light them there (they usually have a place for round-the-clock candle burning) and say a special prayer, and then all her problems would be solved. All she needed was $60 to do this favor. (this was in 1980; would cost about $100 today). He said he'd think about it, and she badgered him about it, and he said something just to end the session.


There are lots of people who spend big bucks on this sort of foolishness . . . last week, some gov't official in south Texas was caught paying for psychics with $15,000 of city $$$. Someone offered me a job as a telephone psychic ($13/hour) just to BS customers, who would have to pay $60/hr (or more) to be BS'ed. And the usual clientele are people who are least able to afford to be ripped off by charlatans.

So, this is what gets my gander up about all this crap. IMHO, people who scam unsuspecting people are scum, and ought to be licensed and regulated like shrinks and plumbers, and made to demonstrate that they can actually do what they claim to be able to do.

Ugh.

Screw it . . . I'm going shopping . . .

-Tock