Higher eductation in America

ttuPrincess · 11-17-2004, 12:40 PM

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

**OSTIE** · 11-17-2004, 12:45 PM

LOL...that is some funny sh!t

**decadbal** · 11-17-2004, 12:51 PM

LOL good stuff

**HeavyHitter** · 11-17-2004, 01:31 PM

that was awesome!!! hahahaha

**jonnytour** · 11-17-2004, 02:25 PM

Very good reasoning. That kid had balls!! Funny stuff.

**63190** · 11-17-2004, 02:36 PM

Awesome exlpanation.

**biglouie250** · 11-17-2004, 02:55 PM

i heard that one before, my chem prof gave it to us in HS...... it obviously wasnt from a student its kind of an old chemistry riddle/joke whatever

**skiing** · 11-17-2004, 03:04 PM

that was a good read. I can see why he got the only A.

**TheChosenOne** · 11-17-2004, 03:09 PM

I love internet folklore

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

**ChEmIcAlLy_AsSiStEd** · 11-17-2004, 03:26 PM

we had a story from our professor about how he used to teach philosophy and the mid term asked:
1: is this a question?
obviously to me and you we'd put ummm yeh but the prof said people wrote on average 5 pages on it
and the only kid who got an A was the kid who wrote
A: if this is an answer....

**Juggernaut** · 11-17-2004, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by TheChosenOne

I love internet folklore

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

You just can't stand for Tutu to have a little of the limelight can you? Now leave her alone and get back over to the Fantasy football threads.....I'm talking all kinds of crap about you! As well as your team. hahahahah

I've read that one before Tutu....still liked reading it again.

**BigGreen** · 11-17-2004, 03:44 PM

http://www.wilk4.com/humor/humore24.htm
http://www.mixed-up.com/markb/humor/show.html?t=hell
http://wfhummel.cnchost.com/hell.html
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/HellFreeze.htm
http://spiritualist.alternatehistory.com/hell.html

Here's just a few. The story has many variations, with the student sometimes sleeping with Theresa (strangely, it's almost always Theresa) and sometimes not, with the logical proof following from each scenario. It's attributed to various universities, countries and scientific disciplines.

That being said, they are at the very least amusing, and two others like it that i've heard are:

1. On an application to Yale, a high school senior stared at the essay question that asked, 'what is the most daring thing which you have ever done?' Without hesitation he too his pen and wrote, 'this is:'. He then proceeded to pick up red marker and use it to draw a giant "X" through the space provided for the essay. He was, of course, admitted with a full scholarship.

2. On a communications final, the professor asked, 'explain the most valuable principle of communications that you have learned this semester'...the highest grade? "Brevity is key".

**TheChosenOne** · 11-17-2004, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by Juggernaut

You just can't stand for Tutu to have a little of the limelight can you? Now leave her alone and get back over to the Fantasy football threads.....I'm talking all kinds of crap about you! As well as your team. hahahahah

I've read that one before Tutu....still liked reading it again.

Who are you again? I'm sorry it seems someone is using Juggy's Twat's avatar and profile again!
TheChosenOne knows why you like this story and thats because you too will be rotting in eternal hell for failing to pay your due respects to TheAlmighty!!

**Juggernaut** · 11-17-2004, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by TheChosenOne

Who are you again? I'm sorry it seems someone is using Juggy's Twat's avatar and profile again!
TheChosenOne knows why you like this story and thats because you too will be rotting in eternal hell for failing to pay your due respects to TheAlmighty!!

I swear you have me in tears with every post you make. **** it TCO you're too **** funny.

Dream on sweet cheeks! I did one of those "pre-pay heaven" programs years ago. hahahahahaha

**TheChosenOne** · 11-17-2004, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by Juggernaut

I swear you have me in tears with every post you make. **** it TCO you're too **** funny.

Dream on sweet cheeks! I did one of those "pre-pay heaven" programs years ago. hahahahahaha

You just like me because I have a spring fresh smelling vagina from my recent stock option on Summers Eve dont you? Well I have news for you big boy I dont give it up nearly as easily as that Ron guy does. Oh no you actually have to wow me with flowers, movies, and dinner if you want to get these goodies!
I bet you want the goodies. Bet you thought about it. Got you all hot and bothered. Mayb' cuz I talk about it. Lookin for the goodies Keep on lookin' cuz they stay in the jar Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh.

Alright I think I'm done singing and touching myself for now. Back to taking over the world!!