favorite seinfeld quotes..lol

[decadbal]

well what are yours.. or some of them...


mine is where george goes to the rage anyonus..sp.lol class and calls the guy pin head... but back at the coffee shop

"so now they have me going to this rage anynomys class, i went to a therapist to help start talking, and now they want me to bottle it up....IT MAKES ME SO MAD..." i love it...

[kloter1]

i like the episode where george volunteers time with an elderly man and somehow the guy runs off in the city. i cant really think of the quote i think it was along the line of "i got fired" elaine: " how do you get fired from a volunteer job?" hilarious.

[big swoll]

"Festivis----for the rest of us!!!!!" Georges Dad

[big swoll]

No soup for you-----soup nazi

[big swoll]

"I got caught"-----George referring to his mother catching him jacking off to a Glamour magazine

[kloter1]

festivus, haha that is a great one. "its time for the feats of strength"

[skinnyhb]

"serenity now"

[D-END]

1.george.... "I turn them into lesbains and he brings them back"

2. kid.."you just double dipped the chip, that's like putting your whole mouth in the bowl"

3. george..."it wasn't in the trash, it was kinda hovering above it....jerry says"you ate trash, if it's in the cylinder than it's trash."

[big swoll]

I'm out!!!! Kramer on being the master of his own domain

i can't remember the exact quote, but i think it goes "The water was cold Jerry, there was shrinkage"

[decadbal]

"My name is George. I am unemployed and I live with my parents."
"I'm Victoria, hi!"

"I show up! I pretend I have the job. The guy's on vacation. If I have the job, it's fine. If I don't have the job, by the time he comes back I'm ensconced."
"Hmmmmm.... Not bad."
"What's the worst thing that could happen?"
"Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs."
"Yeah, so?"
"Yeah, I see what you mean. I forgot who I was dealing with."

"Ah, you're crazy."
"Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?!"
"It's impossible!"
"Is it? Or is it so possible that your head is spinning like a top?!"
"It can't be."
"Can it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?"
"Alright, that's enough."
"Yaaaaaaahhh!!!"
"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jerry, at that moment I was a marine biologist."

The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
"Is it me, or was that the ugliest baby you have ever seen?"
"I couldn't look. It was like a Pekinese."
"Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool."

"So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'"
"No no no no no. It was not trash."
"Was it in the trash?"
"Yes."
"Then it was trash."
"It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top."
"But it was in the cylinder."
"Above the rim."
"Adjacent to refuse is... refuse."
"It was on a magazine. And it still had the doily on."
"Was it eaten?"
"One little bite."
"Well, that's garbage."
"But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt."
"Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum."

"You think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000? Or is this mouth vacuum thing for real?"

[KGBnine]

kramer after experienceing a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours (when he turns his apartment into a smokers lounge)
"don't look at me...I'm hideous"

[decadbal]

"Seven."
"Seven Costanza... You're serious?"
"Yeah. It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl. Especially a girl... Or a boy."
"I don't think so."
"What, you don't like the name?"
"It's not a name. It's a number."
"I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number. So not only is it an all-around beautiful name, it is also a living tribute."

"Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a
service."

"You know, old friend, sometimes I ponder this silly gulf between us, and I say 'why?'. Are we really so different..."
"I'm not the one doing the cooking, Newman."
"**** you Seinfeld. You're a useless pustule."

"I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world."
"I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges."
"His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit."
"He is a loathesome, offensive brute. Yet I can't look away."
"He transcends time and space."
"He sickens me."
"I love it."
"Me too."

[big swoll]

"The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."

i dont know how i could have forgotten that one

[D-END]

george...."The jerk store called, they're running out of you!"

[D-END]

Hey, you know what would make a great coffee table book? A coffee table book about coffee tables!"
-
Kramer, in "The Cigar Store Indian"

[anaBROLIC]

castanza.. cant-stand-ya...lol

[D-END]

1. "How do you oversleep at the Olympics?"

"Oh, I know. I know."
"I mean, it's like the biggest event of your life! You'd think you'd have, like, six alarm clocks, paying off little kids in the village to come banging on your door."

2. my favorite one... Jerry, look how tense you are. You need to take a soak."
"I'm not taking a soak in that human bacteria vat you got goin' there."
"Come on, I'm telling you, it's great. I opened up all the windows. The air is cold, the tub is boiling hot. It's like Sweden, man. Sweden!"
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Hot Tub"

[decadbal]

bosko.......bosko.......

[Dude-Man]

YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME??? YOU GOT IT!!!!!!!!

-george's dad to elaine.

[D-END]

this is classic

elaine.."GET OUT"

[anaBROLIC]

"I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution."
- George

[D-END]

"Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant."
"Well, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg."
"Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed."
-
Jerry and Elaine, in "The Pez Dispenser"

[tubbytank]

Kramer - These pretzels are making me thirsty! (repeat)

[betatest]

George - "Oh nooo, I'm sorry. The correct answer is Moops."

Crazy Joe Devola - "Now I'm gonna put the kaibosh on you. You know I've kaiboshed before, and I will kaibosh again."

[SMYL_GR8]

--SNEEZE-- "You are SOOOO good-looking!"

[ticboy]

When georges dad sees the doll that looks like georges mother.

'shut up.. shut up. I ll show you...." something like that

Jerry is a very bad man

Not seeing every new show that comes onto american tv, in aus we only get a section.My qu is Do you guys think that tv is going to crap in the sense that their really isn't any seinfeld type shows on tv anymore. I mean there arent, or at least to me, new shows coming out that have that oomph to them
Shows like the sopranos and that are ending and their doesn't seem like much to replace them
What do you guys think?

[peaker]

kramer after experienceing a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours (when he turns his apartment into a smokers lounge)
"don't look at me...I'm hideous"

and when jackie charles says anymore he will be nothing more than a shrucken head! LOL
kramer then says.. who could love me..

[Maraxus]

Kramer- Its chocolate, its peppermint, its delicious!

[peaker]

jerry: "brochli? you wouldnt eat brochli newman if it was deep fried in chocolate"

[peaker]

george: "divorce its very hard on kids, but i am the result of my parents staying together so you never know.."

[peaker]

kramer: "the libarians name is actually Bookman? thats amazing! thats like an icecream man named Cone!"

[Spyder]

"I know less about women than anyone in the world" - George Costanza

"Hello Newman", "Hello Jerry"

"Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good" - George Costanza

[JdFlex]

"Hey Putty, no more grease monkey".

"I don't care for that term. I'd like to see a monkey take apart a fuel injector."

[JdFlex]

"High five". - Putty

[JdFlex]

"Hey Kramer, George, how was rock climbing? Where's Tony?" - Elaine

"Tony took a bit of a......" - George

"Tumble" - Kramer

"And he landed on kind of a....." - George

"Rock" - Kramer

[JdFlex]

"Vile weed!" - Newman

[JdFlex]

"There is the possibility that you've gone right out of your mind" - Kramer

"I've looked at that, seems unlikely" - George

"I'd look again" - Kramer

[JdFlex]

"I don't work in the rain" - Newman

"Neither rain, nor sleet, ITS THE FIRST ONE!" - George

"I was never very big on creeds" - Newman

[JdFlex]

"He took it out" - Elaine

[HeavyHitter]

this is the best thread!!!

Hello Jerry....... Hello Newman.
Puddi- Yeah thats right