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  1. #1
    bex's Avatar
    bex is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2001

    If you get fed up with my jokes ..PLEASE TELL ME..


    Lesson Number One

    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
    saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
    nothing all day long?"

    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
    below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped
    on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story:
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high

    Lesson Number Two

    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get
    to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
    energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
    replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey
    pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough
    strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after
    eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
    fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon
    he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the

    Moral of the story:
    Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

    Lesson Number Three

    When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The
    brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
    responses and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we
    carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands
    said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all
    the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and
    the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
    All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So
    the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
    Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
    feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain
    fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the
    Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the
    work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

    Moral of the story:
    You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

    Lesson Number 4

    There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a
    pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since his last
    meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally,
    he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten
    too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked
    around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up
    against the wall. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off,
    thinking that once he got airborne, he would be able to take flight.
    Unfortunately, he was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting when
    he hit the floor. Dead.

    The moral to the story is: Never fly off the handle when you know
    you're full of shit.

  2. #2
    Canes4Ever's Avatar
    Canes4Ever is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Miami, Fla

    Dude I love them !

    If anyone is *fed* up with them, no one is forcing them to open up a thread by you.

    Don't sweat it bro. You're cool.

  3. #3
    Billy Boy's Avatar
    Billy Boy is offline Retired Moderator
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    Aug 2001
    Strange but good morals

  4. #4
    HARDCORE's Avatar
    HARDCORE is offline Associate Member
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    Nov 2001
    Where are we without humor.......

  5. #5
    SPEEDY is offline Junior Member
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    Sep 2001
    I say keep them coming....i have been passing them on to everyone

  6. #6
    Terinox's Avatar
    Terinox is offline The One & Only
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    Nov 2001
    Another good one bexsome!!! Keep them coming!

    If anyone is fed up with your jokes, they don't belong on AR

  7. #7
    Mrs. T is offline Female Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Ditto .... the world would not be worth living in without humor.

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