Man question..??

[Diesel]

Yep......Im feeling the same way. Only time will tell. It's a same really because initially things were awesome and I thought I had found the right man.

Things are always awesome at the beginning........then time wears on and people begin to show their true colors.

Sorry hun, you deserve better.

[Panzerfaust]

Here's the deal....the guy in LA is starting to feel the pressure of the long distance relationship....partially because he doesn't have a phone now and our comms are limited to me calling him at work during the day OR him finding a pay phone to call me.

SO......Monday he tells me he was thinking over the weekend....some good some bad....and wants to talk but not at work so after he gets done with his class and drops his students off......he will call me. This means about 10pm. I didn't get much sleep the night before but ok...I'll wait up for the call. 11 pm rolls around and NO call.

Today I get him at work and he tells me that after class one of his adult female students had an issue in her personal life so she wanted to talk to him. So I got pushed to the back burner.

This on top of the fact that he opted to reschedule his trip that was supposed to happen this last weekend because he forgot he had promised to take a couple of his young students to a karate tourney. That I can deal with .... but the two together leads me to believe that I am not his first priority......or even close.

Am I wrong to feel that he should have told this female student that he had an important call that he had to make and that he would talk to her another day?

Oh and did I mention.....I didn't even get a freaking Valentines day Card????

this man has one foot in the grave and the other is dragging dirt in behind him.

These are RED FLAGS from hell, i sincerly hope you detach your emotions from this siutation because this guy is a piece of ****, why is he a piece of ****? Well when one knows they have an issue with their "supposed" significant other that needs to be dealt with, a truly caring partner would make this #1 priority, yet this SOB made a "adult female" student's supposed troubled life a priority over you.


That says it all, nothing more needs to be said. I would not be suprised if this woman is not his true GF.

Cut off all communication CB, your better than this Kindergarten ****.

[Juggernaut]

You already have my input Barb.....and it's in line with Diesel.....**** if that's not scary to admit. hahahaha

[Commando_Barbi]

Thanks guys. I have detached my emotions from this...for a few reasons. The writing is on the wall....it's a matter of time. Im not rushing to a decision now....but will make one next weekend...that's the time frame I have set for myself.

[Commando_Barbi]

Not trying to sound like Im blind to what may be obvious, but I really don't believe there is someone else. I think he is just 1) young and 2) not used to having to consider anyone's feelings, needs, schedule, expectations....but his own.

I am easy to make happy.....A card here and there....I would have been happy with a single rose or SOMETHING on V day. But NOTHING. ... that's not acceptable.

[needmorestrength]

Not trying to sound like Im blind to what may be obvious, but I really don't believe there is someone else. I think he is just 1) young and 2) not used to having to consider anyone's feelings, needs, schedule, expectations....but his own.

I am easy to make happy.....A card here and there....I would have been happy with a single rose or SOMETHING on V day. But NOTHING. ... that's not acceptable.

Yea I argee.. not cool not getting anything

[viking_warrior_2k]

I did tell him exactly what I said here. And he listened and took it on board. He just has soooo much going on in his life and he's not used to having to spread his time between a demanding a woman and his school, work, music training, bodybuilding, etc. etc.

Im not sweating it.....just wondering if I was being unreasonable!

Are you sure you're not my girlfriend? I'm a musician with a well-paying day job who is busy as hell with other people's musical projects, and I'm trying to stay in the gym 4-5 evenings out of the week. I've been in a "non-commital" relationship for about 10 months now, and she knows that she is about 3rd of 4th down on the list of my life's priorities, but as long as she knows I don't cheat on her (and I don't) then she seems to be ok with it. We both trust each other, and she understands when things come up. Music is my first love, then the family business that I'm in (commercial work), my close friends and family, and then her. It's a problem sometimes.

For instance, I had a last minute gig come up on New Year's at a place I'd played before. It paid good, so I took it. Well, I had casually mentioned to her about going out on New Year's, but we never set any plans or even spoke about it until I told her I took the gig. She got mad, of course, but she let it slide because she knows that music is my priority.

I think what matters is understanding the other person's priorities and goals in life and learning to accept those. Now, if you're in a seriously commited relationship, that's a little different than my situation. My "relationship" is one that both of us agreed upon not to take too seriously. (Yeah, like that happened.... she fell for me quick... but that's beside the point...) The main thing is honesty and trusting the other person, no matter the type of relationship or where it may seem to be at in the growth stage. Most importantly, do you really, really want to be with this guy, or is he just "suitable for now"?

[viking_warrior_2k]

Oh, yeah, forgot to mention, she is older than me. Similarities are scary...

[Commando_Barbi]

Well........we are in different states so it isn't like he has to schedule me in on a daily basis. BUT when you tell me you are gonna call ..... and you know I'm waiting up for that call....you **** well BETTER call. And the reason for NOT calling better NOT be anything other than a major car accident, carjacking or a death in the family.

It's supposed to be a committed relationship. He gets mad when he can't reach me...but it's ok for him to call when he gets around to it. Screw that.

Anyway........there are a few more problems than this...so it's probably on the chopping block. Maybe in a few years when I can retire and move and if he's moved out of the hood, slowed his life down a bit and Im not with someone else...we will try again.

As much as I like this guy.....I've done a good job of keeping my emotions in check on this one....because I didn't want to get hurt AGAIN. I'm not hurt now...I'm annoyed. That's almost worse...cause I will get rid of you faster for annoying me than hurting me....which is probably pretty silly!

[viking_warrior_2k]

You're a tough chick... you'll be fine. Sorry this guy is turning out to be non-commital. He just sounds either immature or he's playing you very well. Sometimes that happens when there's distance involved.

By the way, visited your yahoo profile site and saw your pics in your folder. Nice selection from the Olympia. Did you take those pics?

[Panzerfaust]

Are you sure you're not my girlfriend? I'm a musician with a well-paying day job who is busy as hell with other people's musical projects, and I'm trying to stay in the gym 4-5 evenings out of the week. I've been in a "non-commital" relationship for about 10 months now, and she knows that she is about 3rd of 4th down on the list of my life's priorities, but as long as she knows I don't cheat on her (and I don't) then she seems to be ok with it. We both trust each other, and she understands when things come up. Music is my first love, then the family business that I'm in (commercial work), my close friends and family, and then her. It's a problem sometimes.

For instance, I had a last minute gig come up on New Year's at a place I'd played before. It paid good, so I took it. Well, I had casually mentioned to her about going out on New Year's, but we never set any plans or even spoke about it until I told her I took the gig. She got mad, of course, but she let it slide because she knows that music is my priority.

I think what matters is understanding the other person's priorities and goals in life and learning to accept those. Now, if you're in a seriously commited relationship, that's a little different than my situation. My "relationship" is one that both of us agreed upon not to take too seriously. (Yeah, like that happened.... she fell for me quick... but that's beside the point...) The main thing is honesty and trusting the other person, no matter the type of relationship or where it may seem to be at in the growth stage. Most importantly, do you really, really want to be with this guy, or is he just "suitable for now"?

I don't even know what to think of this, are you just an insensitive prick? wtf?

[Diesel]

You already have my input Barb.....and it's in line with Diesel.....**** if that's not scary to admit. hahahaha

I need to go to the doctor.....I'm feeling ill.

[Juggernaut]

I need to go to the doctor.....I'm feeling ill.

If you say he's name is Santiago then I know you're stalking me. hahahahaha

[Commando_Barbi]

I love how you never sugar coat anything LOL

I don't even know what to think of this, are you just an insensitive prick? wtf?

[viking_warrior_2k]

I don't even know what to think of this, are you just an insensitive prick? wtf?

Yeah, I may have some insensitivity, but the girl I'm with didn't want a serious relationship when we started hanging out, and neither did I. We both wanted a little sex with someone we trusted. I was relating my experiences to what barbi's going through - perhaps poorly - from my point of view. Maybe by explaining myself, it will help her understand her man, whether I seem like an insensitive prick or not. Sounds to me like her man and myself have a lot in common... music, day job, other priorities, so I was just trying to be helpful in letting her know a little about how I feel. Didn't mean to come off insensitive. Barbi didn't respond, so maybe you were the only one offended?

Just because me and my girlfriend are in a non-commital relationship doesn't mean it's twisted, which is what you seem to be implying. I'm completely monogomous, neither of us have sex with anyone else, and I'm monogomous whether I'm in a casual relationship or a dead-serious, "let's get married!!!" relationship (which I haven't found myself in yet). If that's a sign of insensitivity to you, well, ****, you just can't please 'em all!!!

[Commando_Barbi]

Well.......I think it's done. Throwing dirt on the coffin NOW

[BARLOW]

ill come move in with ya CB, Ill get me a job at Hy-vee and carry out groceries and buy you every rose in the hy-vee flower shop!

[Commando_Barbi]

LOL Thanks Barlow. I appreciate the offer.

[zuke]

settle for nothing less than complete happiness...