02-24-2005, 11:24 PM #1
Standard Relationship "Lingo" (JOKE)
The Man's Guide to Female English...
We need = I want
Itís your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = Youíll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Youíre...so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Youíre certainly attentive tonight! = Is sex all you ever think about?
Iím not emotional! And Iím not overreacting! = Iíve got my period
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper ...
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = Iím going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today youíre not going to like
Iíll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me Iím beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
Iím sorry = Youíll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = Itís easy to fix so youíd better get used to it
Iím not yelling! = Yes Iím yelling because I think itís important
All weíre going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that weíre stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your check book?
The Woman's Guide to Male English...
Iím hungry = Iím hungry
Iím sleepy = Iím sleepy
Iím tired = Iím tired
Do you want to go to a movie = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
Whatís wrong? = I donít see why youíre making such a big deal out of this
Whatís wrong? = what meaningless, self inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
Whatís wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
Iím bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Letís have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...weíd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesnít look that much different!
Letís talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then youíd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any frigging dress and letís get out of here.
02-24-2005, 11:25 PM #2
D*mn stop making new threads
02-24-2005, 11:28 PM #3
I made a whole bunch of threads bcs I didnt want one huge thread with 2 pages of jokes...
02-24-2005, 11:32 PM #4Originally Posted by slizzut
02-24-2005, 11:36 PM #5
ahh whatever laugh or dont... its only 5 posts
02-24-2005, 11:37 PM #6Originally Posted by Angelis
Just givin u a hard time, I laughed a little
02-24-2005, 11:38 PM #7
Ok thats a classic!
02-24-2005, 11:40 PM #8Originally Posted by slizzut
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