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  1. #1
    Angelis's Avatar
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    Standard Relationship "Lingo" (JOKE)

    The Man's Guide to Female English...

    We need = I want
    Itís your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    Do what you want = Youíll pay for this later
    We need to talk = I need to complain
    Youíre...so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    Youíre certainly attentive tonight! = Is sex all you ever think about?
    Iím not emotional! And Iím not overreacting! = Iíve got my period
    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
    I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper ...
    I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
    Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there
    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
    Do you love me? = Iím going to ask for something expensive
    How much do you love me? = I did something today youíre not going to like
    Iíll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
    Is my butt fat? = Tell me Iím beautiful
    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    Yes = No
    No = No
    Maybe = No
    Iím sorry = Youíll be sorry
    Do you like this recipe? = Itís easy to fix so youíd better get used to it
    Iím not yelling! = Yes Iím yelling because I think itís important
    All weíre going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that weíre stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your check book?



    The Woman's Guide to Male English...

    Iím hungry = Iím hungry
    Iím sleepy = Iím sleepy
    Iím tired = Iím tired
    Do you want to go to a movie = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I take you out to dinner? = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I call you sometime? = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
    May I have this dance? = Iíd eventually like to have sex with you
    Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
    Whatís wrong? = I donít see why youíre making such a big deal out of this
    Whatís wrong? = what meaningless, self inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
    Whatís wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
    Iím bored = Do you want to have sex?
    I love you = Letís have sex now
    I love you, too = Okay, I said it...weíd better have sex now!
    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesnít look that much different!
    Letís talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then youíd like to have sex with me
    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
    I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any frigging dress and letís get out of here.

  2. #2
    slizzut's Avatar
    slizzut is offline Senior Member
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    D*mn stop making new threads

  3. #3
    Angelis's Avatar
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    I made a whole bunch of threads bcs I didnt want one huge thread with 2 pages of jokes...

  4. #4
    slizzut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slizzut
    D*mn stop making new threads

    ^^^^

  5. #5
    Angelis's Avatar
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    ahh whatever laugh or dont... its only 5 posts

  6. #6
    slizzut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelis
    ahh whatever laugh or dont... its only 5 posts

    Just givin u a hard time, I laughed a little

  7. #7
    gya321's Avatar
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    Ok thats a classic!

  8. #8
    Angelis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slizzut
    Just givin u a hard time, I laughed a little
    I know, I was playing along...lol

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