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  1. #1
    Angelis's Avatar
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    Standard Relationship "Lingo" (JOKE)

    The Man's Guide to Female English...

    We need = I want
    It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
    We need to talk = I need to complain
    You’re...so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    You’re certainly attentive tonight! = Is sex all you ever think about?
    I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’ve got my period
    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
    I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper ...
    I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
    Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there
    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
    Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
    How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re not going to like
    I’ll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
    Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful
    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
    Yes = No
    No = No
    Maybe = No
    I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
    Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix so you’d better get used to it
    I’m not yelling! = Yes I’m yelling because I think it’s important
    All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few purses, and those sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your check book?



    The Woman's Guide to Male English...

    I’m hungry = I’m hungry
    I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
    I’m tired = I’m tired
    Do you want to go to a movie = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
    Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
    May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
    Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
    What’s wrong? = I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this
    What’s wrong? = what meaningless, self inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
    What’s wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
    I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
    I love you = Let’s have sex now
    I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we’d better have sex now!
    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn’t look that much different!
    Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me
    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
    I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any frigging dress and let’s get out of here.

  2. #2
    slizzut's Avatar
    slizzut is offline Senior Member
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    D*mn stop making new threads

  3. #3
    Angelis's Avatar
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    I made a whole bunch of threads bcs I didnt want one huge thread with 2 pages of jokes...

  4. #4
    slizzut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slizzut
    D*mn stop making new threads

    ^^^^

  5. #5
    Angelis's Avatar
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    ahh whatever laugh or dont... its only 5 posts

  6. #6
    slizzut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelis
    ahh whatever laugh or dont... its only 5 posts

    Just givin u a hard time, I laughed a little

  7. #7
    gya321's Avatar
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    Ok thats a classic!

  8. #8
    Angelis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slizzut
    Just givin u a hard time, I laughed a little
    I know, I was playing along...lol

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