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  1. #1
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
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    Relationship/Honesty question for you guys

    Scenario: Your girl is a waitress. She's working in a small place where she's the only one working. It's friday night and a group of rowdy guys come in. They are doing the usual laughing, joking carrying on, and flirting with the waitress. They know the place is closing so they invite your girl to go with them to their next destination.....a mexican place....to hang out and make fun of the Kareoke singers, etc. She refuses telling them she has a boyfriend and can't. She didn't really feel like one of them was hitting on her specifically....they were just trying to get her to come hang with the group.

    So at after she closes the place, they leave and she comes to see you. She tells you about the entire night...kids dropping food on the floor, rude customers and oh the last group...etc, etc.

    How would you feel about the last part? Would you feel like she was being honest with you and that was good....or would you feel like she was trying to tell you that other guys were attracted to her and wanted her, etc.

  2. #2
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    i wouldnt blink an eye. she was honest. she cant help it if guys are a-holes

  3. #3
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    Both...

    And both are good. I want my girl honest and to be desired

    511220

  4. #4
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    I would appreciate the honesty. Honesty plays a BIG role in a great relationship.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Scenario: Your girl is a waitress. She's working in a small place where she's the only one working. It's friday night and a group of rowdy guys come in. They are doing the usual laughing, joking carrying on, and flirting with the waitress. They know the place is closing so they invite your girl to go with them to their next destination.....a mexican place....to hang out and make fun of the Kareoke singers, etc. She refuses telling them she has a boyfriend and can't. She didn't really feel like one of them was hitting on her specifically....they were just trying to get her to come hang with the group.

    So at after she closes the place, they leave and she comes to see you. She tells you about the entire night...kids dropping food on the floor, rude customers and oh the last group...etc, etc.

    How would you feel about the last part? Would you feel like she was being honest with you and that was good....or would you feel like she was trying to tell you that other guys were attracted to her and wanted her, etc.

    ..any guy who would be threatened by his girl telling him that other guys are attracted to her/hit on her is insecure with himself and the relationship, IMHO.
    My current girlfriend is a certifiable fox and dresses to the nines - looks delicious all the time. When we go out, I see other eyes on her. The way I see it, it makes me feel great that she is that desirable that other men want her! And IM the one that has her!

  6. #6
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    I'd be more suspicious if she didn't tell me and someone else did. At least she told you and if she had something to hide i dont think she would have

  7. #7
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    i think it depends on the girl. some girls like to make their men feel a little insecure. i can't say that fits all women, but a few of my ex's have been that way. i like to answer that with "you should have went with them, it sounded like fun" just to let her know that it would take more than that to get under my skin.

    women get hit on... it happens. i can't stand overbearing people that get pissed off when it happens. if i am dating someone and i get hit on, i usually don't tell my g/f. no need to make her feel insecure.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck of Death
    ..any guy who would be threatened by his girl telling him that other guys are attracted to her/hit on her is insecure with himself and the relationship, IMHO.
    My current girlfriend is a certifiable fox and dresses to the nines - looks delicious all the time. When we go out, I see other eyes on her. The way I see it, it makes me feel great that she is that desirable that other men want her! And IM the one that has her!
    Agreed!!

  9. #9
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
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    Ugh!!! In this case it's not about trying to make him jealous...it's about not hiding anything...etc.

    Seems like a ****ed if you do....****ed if you don't!

  10. #10
    zuke's Avatar
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    don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things...

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Ugh!!! In this case it's not about trying to make him jealous...it's about not hiding anything...etc.

    Seems like a ****ed if you do....****ed if you don't!
    Yes you are right...most of the time it's a lose lose situation...

  12. #12
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    Lol Ok!!!

  13. #13
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    Sigh.....I'm 37!! You'd think I'd have this figured out by now!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Sigh.....I'm 37!! You'd think I'd have this figured out by now!
    That's what makes it so fun...you'll never figure the opposite sex out...

  15. #15
    J-Dogg is offline Anabolic Member
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    I'm 24 and though I had it figured out too!

    Knowing now that i'm probably not as smart at BC, i'm effed, lol.

    I guess if the girl is saying it as in "guys kept hitting on me, its kinda annoying..ya know?" and is smiling, then I'd just say, "hey I know guys like you, but your mine" and laugh.

    If it was explained in the sense, you hated it, just these guys were harrasing you, then its different. I guess you could have left out the part where they invited you to another place when you were done, could have left it at "Then some arrogant pricks came in and started bothering me, stuck around till after close to finish off the night".

    Judging from what you've said here, I doubt your trying to do anything to your boyfriend. He should realize too, when guys get around eachother its cool to hit on girls, and they want as many as they can to be around them. Most the time it makes them feel cool but they look like asses in the process.

  16. #16
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    Well, he's not my boyfriend right now...he's my ex and we have been talking a lot lately. This sit with the guy in LA made me realize some things....so Im trying to sort myself out. This morning I am rethinking what his reaction may have been to me telling him....and wondering if I made an error.

  17. #17
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    Ok heres my thought on the whole thing, obviously this guy is your EX boyfriend for a reason, you guys obviously has some personal differences and decided that the relationship wasnt going to work. So why are you trying to patch thing up??? Ive been in this situation many times and trying to patch up a relationship only makes things worse, those things that got in the way the first time arent just going to dissapear theyre going to keep resurfacing over and over. Judging from what you said this guy has trust issues and my guess is that it bugs you. This guys obviouly has things about him that you like but it sound like he also has a few things about him that you dont like. You have to look at the pros and cons of the relationship and see wheather the pros outweigh the cons or visa versa. Personally I think the once a relationahip is over its over. And one other thing, you said you woke up this morning and were rethinking what you told him and you said you thought you made an error. There is no error to be made on your side, what did you do wrong???? NOTHING hes the one with the problem, you shouldnt be getting so stressed over this situation, you were being honest, hes just blowing this thing way out of proportion(sp?).

  18. #18
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    He didn't say anything...either way. I was just wondering if I made a mistake. Our break up was complicated. I don't know what is going to happen between the two of us. I'm gathering info to make decisions. The problem we had before was miscomms.

    Anyway, I don't know how he took it. My thing is this. I have made mistakes in my life that I don't want to make again. I guess my fear is that in my effort to show him Im someone HE can trust, I may have damaged the trust and friendship that we were rebuilding.

    I'm not jumping back anywhere. My last attempt at a relationship showed me I wasn't ready to move on, I am still not over the last one. I either have to get over it or try again. For now, I'm focusing on ME, my training, my house......watching, learning, etc.

    WHEN it's time to make a decision....I will. And it will be the right one....based on good information and my brain....not my heart.

  19. #19
    Testsubject's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    He didn't say anything...either way. I was just wondering if I made a mistake. Our break up was complicated. I don't know what is going to happen between the two of us. I'm gathering info to make decisions. The problem we had before was miscomms.

    Anyway, I don't know how he took it. My thing is this. I have made mistakes in my life that I don't want to make again. I guess my fear is that in my effort to show him Im someone HE can trust, I may have damaged the trust and friendship that we were rebuilding.

    I'm not jumping back anywhere. My last attempt at a relationship showed me I wasn't ready to move on, I am still not over the last one. I either have to get over it or try again. For now, I'm focusing on ME, my training, my house......watching, learning, etc.

    WHEN it's time to make a decision....I will. And it will be the right one....based on good information and my brain....not my heart.
    Definatly no mistake made on your part.

  20. #20
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    Thanks Test.....

    Not in this specific situation, but I've made my fair share.....trust me.

  21. #21
    taiboxa's Avatar
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    Correct me if im wrong but isnt "honesty the best policy unless your being naughty"?

  22. #22
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Well, my wife would just be being honest.

    She knows who Papi is.

    She gets macked on, I know this. It's human nature, but it's strictly look at the menu, but come home for dinner.

    I'd be a hypocrit if I didn't accept it, being that I have no issues w/women hittin' on me all the time.

    ~SC~


    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Scenario: Your girl is a waitress. She's working in a small place where she's the only one working. It's friday night and a group of rowdy guys come in. They are doing the usual laughing, joking carrying on, and flirting with the waitress. They know the place is closing so they invite your girl to go with them to their next destination.....a mexican place....to hang out and make fun of the Kareoke singers, etc. She refuses telling them she has a boyfriend and can't. She didn't really feel like one of them was hitting on her specifically....they were just trying to get her to come hang with the group.

    So at after she closes the place, they leave and she comes to see you. She tells you about the entire night...kids dropping food on the floor, rude customers and oh the last group...etc, etc.

    How would you feel about the last part? Would you feel like she was being honest with you and that was good....or would you feel like she was trying to tell you that other guys were attracted to her and wanted her, etc.

  23. #23
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taiboxa
    Correct me if im wrong but isnt "honesty the best policy unless your being naughty"?
    I think honesty is the best policy. I know what my intentions were....I just wanted the male point of view on what your response would be .... when your girl was telling you that.

  24. #24
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    You are just a sexy beast Swole


    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Well, my wife would just be being honest.

    She knows who Papi is.

    She gets macked on, I know this. It's human nature, but it's strictly look at the menu, but come home for dinner.

    I'd be a hypocrit if I didn't accept it, being that I have no issues w/women hittin' on me all the time.

    ~SC~

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by 511220
    Both...

    And both are good. I want my girl honest and to be desired

    511220

    Good point!!! These guys desire her... while I am trying to peel her off me from jumping my bones so I can at least shower before we get to pseudo baby making


    Barbi...It all depends on the tone of the conversation. If you are venting and made it look like "DAYUM...I had the worst DAY" and you rattle off all the bad kids that was in the restaurant, bad manager etc., then finish it off with saying that "then to top it off these jerks came in" then the guy has NO reason to get mad...unless he is really insecure like people mentioned. If he acts like a big baby....call him on it, and tell him ( in a non-threatning way...as not to damage the male ego...its fragile )

    If I find these guys number on my dresser, and then you tell me it was some chumps from the restaurant, THEN you want to tell me how they were big jerks, I would be alot more likely to be suspicious

  26. #26
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    You are just a sexy beast Swole
    Why thank you CB! You've got sexuality written all over you as well!

    ~SC~

  27. #27
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    its alright. but when some girls constantly tell me stuff like that it gets annoying (I've dated a few waitresses). all it tells me is they have low self esteem

  28. #28
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    i dont think thats a big deal.....i'd rather my girl tell me then find out from someone that saw it happen.

  29. #29
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
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    Explain?

    Quote Originally Posted by PrairieDawg
    its alright. but when some girls constantly tell me stuff like that it gets annoying (I've dated a few waitresses). all it tells me is they have low self esteem

  30. #30
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    Hmmmm thanks... I think

    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Why thank you CB! You've got sexuality written all over you as well!

    ~SC~

  31. #31
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    LOL well I could see how the phone numbers and then the explaination would be bad.

    As I said before...I don't like hiding stuff...but maybe sometimes it's better to just keep it to myself. The person Im referring to see's it as me telling him I have options and he should be happy I've chosen to be with him.

    While that is true.... ....it's not what Im about. I don't have motives other than just being an open person.



    Quote Originally Posted by Wrath
    Good point!!! These guys desire her... while I am trying to peel her off me from jumping my bones so I can at least shower before we get to pseudo baby making


    Barbi...It all depends on the tone of the conversation. If you are venting and made it look like "DAYUM...I had the worst DAY" and you rattle off all the bad kids that was in the restaurant, bad manager etc., then finish it off with saying that "then to top it off these jerks came in" then the guy has NO reason to get mad...unless he is really insecure like people mentioned. If he acts like a big baby....call him on it, and tell him ( in a non-threatning way...as not to damage the male ego...its fragile )

    If I find these guys number on my dresser, and then you tell me it was some chumps from the restaurant, THEN you want to tell me how they were big jerks, I would be alot more likely to be suspicious

  32. #32
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    I would smack my bitch up if she told me that..... *j/k*


    I would be ok with it, i have no reason not to trust her until she gives me one, i do not think something like this would fall in that category?

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by 511220
    Both...

    And both are good. I want my girl honest and to be desired

    511220
    Exactly!!

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Scenario: Your girl is a waitress. She's working in a small place where she's the only one working. It's friday night and a group of rowdy guys come in. They are doing the usual laughing, joking carrying on, and flirting with the waitress. They know the place is closing so they invite your girl to go with them to their next destination.....a mexican place....to hang out and make fun of the Kareoke singers, etc. She refuses telling them she has a boyfriend and can't. She didn't really feel like one of them was hitting on her specifically....they were just trying to get her to come hang with the group.

    So at after she closes the place, they leave and she comes to see you. She tells you about the entire night...kids dropping food on the floor, rude customers and oh the last group...etc, etc.

    How would you feel about the last part? Would you feel like she was being honest with you and that was good....or would you feel like she was trying to tell you that other guys were attracted to her and wanted her, etc.
    that she was being honest.... and at the same time.. she likes the attention.. man adn woman all like it..

    if he responds with anger or whatever.. she should probably move on to the next guy... this one is too imature..
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  35. #35
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    wow.. i would have responded differently if i had read the whole thread, and not just the 1st post..

    Confidence is obtained by many means.. you know you are a great catch.. it's just nice to see that others see it in you also..
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  36. #36
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    thanks spy

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigbodyjosh
    i dont think thats a big deal.....i'd rather my girl tell me then find out from someone that saw it happen.
    Exactly, this is the key to respect in my opinion..

    And I believe the woman was being honest ... that's it....JC

  38. #38
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    It is a win in the long run. The guy may get jealous or upset at first but I don't know of anyone who doesn't appreciate being told things like that so they can feel comfortable knowing their gf won't hide things from them. You did the right thing so feel good about it and move on to the next issue with your ex. If that is enough to keep you apart then it would never work anyway.

  39. #39
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    Thats how I feel Rickson. Im not stressing over it .... I just wanted to get the male point of view .

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
    Explain?
    like I said if its once in awhile its perfectly fine, but when she's constantly telling me about how guys are hitting on her, asking for her number, etc, etc, it starts to dawn on me that she's telling me this to make me jealous, not as friendly conversation. as if she's scared I'll leave her if I'm not reminded that she can have other guys. I know this isn't true for all women and I'm certainly not refering to you because every situation is different, but in my experiences it was...
    Last edited by PrairieDawg; 03-01-2005 at 02:35 AM.

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