02-26-2005, 06:33 PM #1
Sh*t!!!! Sh*t!!!!!!!!!!! ANGER!!!!!!!!!
Oaky to everyone (but Messy) my bleeping wife wants to bail, it has been going around and around for quite a while but I think we are BOTH toasted.
We love each other but can't stand each other (yes it makes sense). We believe that we will never be happy with each other.
I have an ace in the hole, (no I am not being cold hearted). We have a son together and she wants to take him to live in Oklahoma where she grew up to be around her parents , brother and sister, his cousins etc..... In addition her dad has had his own barber shop for 35 years and wants her to come and work with him and inherit the business (excellent opportunity for her).
My ace is that she can't go unless I agree. I will only agree if she (in writing, in divorce court) gives me the house and no child support and agrees to be 100% responsible for his transportation to see me.
If I make her stay here, she will struggle financially, be miserable, in turn making me and my son miserable. We have no family here so it would be hard on her. If I force her to stay it could get ugly in court (use your imagination) and I could lose everything. If I let her go she is happy, my son has family close and I get to barely skip a beat in my routine.
This will be #2 divorce with a child, I have been reemed before like a prison bitch by the court, I know how bad it can get. It seems logical to me that I should accept her agreement. My son will see me and know me. When he is 13 or so he will want to live with me, it is a fact of life, boys want their dads at that time in their life.
I am too emotional and I want your input to help me weigh this out. The complete picture, what makes the most sense all around. Any choice will have consequences, which makes the most sense?
02-26-2005, 06:39 PM #2
Wow bro. Thats pretty heavy stuff, im probably not the best person to offer advice so i won't, hope stuff gets better though.
02-26-2005, 06:39 PM #3
Vic I have been through it before as well. and as I said in one of your other threads I am pretty close behind you. Do you think she will accept the offer if you let her go. I would definitly do that if I was you. Your son will always be in contact
02-26-2005, 06:40 PM #4
Thanks Messy, my life is a huge drama right now, it has to stop one way or the other.
02-26-2005, 06:40 PM #5
Yes I know she will, she want to go there she hates it here. I am 100% sure
02-26-2005, 06:40 PM #6
****. That sounds like some heart-wrenching Montel Williams sh!t. Did she contribute towards the house? If so, she deserves a share. Also, why don't you want to pay ANY child support? Why can't you pay shild support when the kid is with her and then reverse it when he lives with you? Trust me, I hate all the unfair sh!t that usually happens to guys in divorces, but it sounds like you're just a bit too hard. Just my .02. Be strong, brutha. They say divorce is the #2 stressor in life after death of a loved one, so keep your head up.
02-26-2005, 06:41 PM #7
although i have not been through this 1victor, i wish you the best of luck.
02-26-2005, 06:48 PM #8Originally Posted by 1victor
02-26-2005, 06:51 PM #9
Smyl, I will not pay support so she can take my son 700 miles away, that is preposterous. Take my child AND my money? No way. As far as the house we have been together for 6 years and she has earned less than 10k, I have a bleep load of sweat equity in it, and if she wants to leave she should pay the price. Sounds cold bro but I've lived in an unfinished basement on a lazyboy at a friends house one before, not again.
02-26-2005, 06:52 PM #10
sean, no doubt, they say one thing and do another, I am going to get a paralegal to draw it up and file it in court in my state, if she wants to reverse something it will cost her big time.
02-26-2005, 06:53 PM #11
Well you are lucky you can do that, my wife took both my kids to another state in Oz when we split and it cost me 83% of everthing I had AND I have been paying child support for the last fifteen years as well, I get to see them every one of two years. Now that sucks !!!!
02-26-2005, 06:55 PM #12
Man I feel for you, if someone hasn't been ass raped in divorce court they have no idea what a deal this is. It sounds cold but true.
02-26-2005, 06:58 PM #13
Thanks mate. Well you have been there before so you know the deal. Your primary concern is your son, and fvck everyone else.
02-26-2005, 07:52 PM #14
1Vic, You take care of your arse cause no one else will. We both know that when a lawyer gets to her the crap will fall on you! DO NOT give in! Stay strong and fight for your child. I have just returned home from doing, baseball, 2 girls softball teams, and football. whew . Long day with the kiddies and NO ONE will take this from me. We men get hosed enough. Some men deserve it and others don't. You just take care of you and yours. You ever need to chat bro PM for a land line......no shi1t! This stuff is he!!
02-26-2005, 08:24 PM #15
I wish I had some advice to give but i don't...Good luck with it bro...
02-26-2005, 08:27 PM #16Originally Posted by SMYL_GR8
1VIc - Good luck getting a Judge to sign a divorce decree freeing you from child support. Even if your wife agree's a judge doe not have to sign it.
02-26-2005, 08:28 PM #17Originally Posted by MESSY_UK
02-26-2005, 08:29 PM #18Associate Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2004
Screw the financial things. Have the terms revolve around being able to be with your son. Anything else is just a bonus. Anything less is just a loss.
02-26-2005, 09:37 PM #19
I'm going to definately make the bitch sign a pre-nup when I get married...
02-27-2005, 12:28 AM #20
1Vic......it sounds like your son will be going to a good situation with all the family around and sounds like your wife will be pretty well set too. I know its hard to let your son go, but in the long run it may be better off for all concerned....esp you. All this back and forth is just too much!
My only input on the money thing is......just make sure your son doesn't go without the things he needs. As long as he has medical coverage, clothes, food, etc....that's the important stuff.
I didn't ask for child support in my divorce. The court made us do a child support agreement but it has never been enforced. I can take care of myself and mine just fine.
THinking about you hun
02-27-2005, 07:01 AM #21Originally Posted by Monkeytown
02-27-2005, 07:20 AM #22Member
Originally Posted by 1victor
- Join Date
- Jan 2005
But seriously good luck . Sounds like you have some cards to play with this time.
02-27-2005, 07:28 AM #23
Vic, I thought this was all resolved. This only proves that women are crazy and don't know what they want. Tomorrow she will love you again since I'm thinking she might just enjoy the attention of the constant fights. I had one of those too
There is always the mine shaft option.....
02-27-2005, 07:36 AM #24
Good luck with it all bro I wish you well
02-28-2005, 11:33 AM #25Originally Posted by MESSY_UK
Please...this is the real world, not computer, paintshop or iPod world.
02-28-2005, 12:56 PM #26
Ya gotta do what's best for the kid.
You and your wife had a falling out, that's up to y'all to work out. But your son is an innocent bystander, and if you don't put his interests FIRST, he's gonna end up with psychological scars which will plague him for the rest of his life. If you aren't sure what's best for him, find a shrink, family counselor, social worker, or a pastor with lots of training in counseling, to get a better idea of what's best for him.
After you get HIS needs taken care of, then you can figure out what's best for you and your ex.
02-28-2005, 12:59 PM #27Originally Posted by 1victor
02-28-2005, 01:02 PM #28
Staying out of this because every situation is different and I don't feel like I know enough about it all to comment. On the flip side, I have seen a bit of you on threads here and there and on other boards....good luck>>>>JC
02-28-2005, 04:48 PM #29
I hope im not too late but im gonna say it.. "Throw down the Ace before the dealer even makes the Flop and pwn that Beeioch..." and by no means is Beeioch meant to be insultive to your wife/ex in any manner just figure of speech yo. Give the kid a better life and Third times the charm, but the forth time is the magic maker
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