Anabolics
Search More Than 6,000,000 Posts
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Canes4Ever's Avatar
    Canes4Ever is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Miami, Fla
    Posts
    4,744

    Talking humor: how to maintain a healthy level of insanity :)

    HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

    1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
    2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
    3) Insist that your email address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
    4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
    5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
    6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
    7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
    8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
    9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
    10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
    11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
    12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
    13) Dont use any punctuation
    14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
    15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
    16) Specify that your drivethrough order is "to go."
    17) Sing along at the opera.
    18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
    19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
    20) Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
    21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
    22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
    23) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
    24) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
    25) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
    26) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
    27) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
    28) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
    And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
    29) Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"

  2. #2
    BOUNCER is offline Retired Vet
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    IRELAND.
    Posts
    7,772
    Thats what you think!

  3. #3
    Canes4Ever's Avatar
    Canes4Ever is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Miami, Fla
    Posts
    4,744
    Originally posted by Bouncer AKA bouncer
    Thats what you think!


    I love # 28 and # 29. Those made me LMAO !

  4. #4
    dyno45 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    underthesun
    Posts
    85
    Nice canes. I'm kinda partial to # 23.

  5. #5
    SPEEDY is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Miami
    Posts
    132
    These are hilarious....according to the prophecy

  6. #6
    Canes4Ever's Avatar
    Canes4Ever is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Miami, Fla
    Posts
    4,744
    bump, for an Easter laugh.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •