NEED ADVICE!!! PLease

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 12:39 AM

Ok, I have this friend, used to be my best friend, but we aren't quite as close as we were, yet still pretty close. Ok, well, I will be the first to admit that this guy is not a very good guy. He had a GF for about 5 years who he turned into a complete headcase from manipulating her and cheating on her over and over. Well, he has slept around A LOT, or at least what I call A lot (about 10-12 people). Well he started dating this other girl when he got to college two years ago, while he was still having sex with the orginal GF (they broke up but still humped and were pretty much together). Well he told the girl he started dating in college that he had only been with 3 people and she believed him b/c they got pretty close and "fell in love" eventhough he still had his old GF on the side. Well he ended up giving the new college GF herpes and he told the new girl that he had to have gotten it from his old GF and that she must have been sleepin around. Well this girl he has dated in college, I have a lot of respect fro her b/c she is a cool person and hasnt let him manipulate her and treat her like **** like he normally would, adn I consider her a pretty good friend. Well, she doesnt talk to him anymore b/c he gave her this STD, yet he wont leave her alone and tells her that it wasn't his fault b/c his ex was sleepin around on him. Well, he also tells her that he has only been with like 3 people and he knows he didnt get it from them, (when he actually might have bc he has been with 10), eventhough his old GF finally told him she had had sex with someone else, after he admitted to her about having sex with the college GF. Well this girl who I am friends with now (the one he has dated in college) is all messed up in the head and doesnt know what to believe b/c he keeps telling her he loves her and wants to be together, and she is asking me how many people he has really been with. I want to tell her soo bad b/c I am sick of sitting back and watching him **** with all these girls head b/c I knwo it is wrong, and she deserves to know, but he is also one of "my boys". Should I tell her?

I hope you can understand this, it is a really confusing situation adn if I need to clear anything up, let me know. thanks for the help

**GetPumped** · 03-04-2005, 12:49 AM

Bro just tell her. Just think if you were her in that same situtation. I think she deserves to know the truth. The least you can do is tell her after getting herpes from him.

**ottomaddox** · 03-04-2005, 12:51 AM

NO. I wouldn't. Bad idea. Do you have a thing for this chick, because you're expending way too much energy dealing with this. Just nail her and put another notch on the bed post. j/k?....Chicks, You can't live with them, You can't cut their heads off and bury them in the backyard.Either.
Peace,
otto

**Benches505** · 03-04-2005, 12:53 AM

He should be shot for giving her an STD and she should wake up and smell the coffee with this guy. It's never good to get in the middle of these things since if/when they do get back together you will be "that evil guy that made sht up"

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by ottomaddox

NO. I wouldn't. Bad idea. Do you have a thing for this chick, because you're expending way too much energy dealing with this. Just nail her and put another notch on the bed post. j/k?....Chicks, You can't live with them, You can't cut their heads off and bury them in the backyard.Either.
Peace,
otto

Nah I honestly have no thing for this chick, I mean she goes to school in another state we are just friend and have been for a while b/c we have been around each other a lot and I dated her friedn. I mean she has herpes. My conscious is just getting to me on both side (not screwing ove rmy friend and telling her what she deserves to know)

**ottomaddox** · 03-04-2005, 12:55 AM

Why get in the middle of a lovers spat, let the originals work it out. That's their lives and they are choosing to live them that way.
otto

Originally Posted by GetPumped

Bro just tell her. Just think if you were her in that same situtation. I think she deserves to know the truth. The least you can do is tell her after getting herpes from him.

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by Benches505

He should be shot for giving her an STD and she should wake up and smell the coffee with this guy. It's never good to get in the middle of these things since if/when they do get back together you will be "that evil guy that made sht up"

Yea, I am not one who likes to get into the middle of other peoples ****, but I mean i just get sick of what he does. The problem is we have a lot of fun when we hang out, i just dont agree with a lot of the things he does, he lies about EVERYTHING. ALso, he has some secrets on me if she did tell him (which I honestly dont think she would) although the **** he has on my is not near as extreme

**ottomaddox** · 03-04-2005, 01:00 AM

Herpes is not a death sentence. More people than you think have it and don't even know they have it.
otto

This excerpt I cut from www.herpes.com:

Oral herpes, an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus, is estimated to be present in 50 to 80 percent of the American adult population. 20 percent, over 50 million people, are infected with genital herpes, also caused by the herpes simplex virus, and the majority of these cases may be unaware they even have it. Studies show that more than 500,000 Americans are diagnosed with genital herpes each year, and the largest increase is occurring in young teens.
There is no cure for herpes to date. Efforts to develop a herpes vaccine by biotechnology companies are ongoing. Until an effective herpes vaccine or cure for HSV infection is found, the prevailing approach to treatment continues to be suppressive antiviral therapy.

Originally Posted by spound

Nah I honestly have no thing for this chick, I mean she goes to school in another state we are just friend and have been for a while b/c we have been around each other a lot and I dated her friedn. I mean she has herpes. My conscious is just getting to me on both side (not screwing ove rmy friend and telling her what she deserves to know)

**LeanMeOut** · 03-04-2005, 01:01 AM

So do you have a thing for this chick? Who do you feel closer too at the moment? This chick or your friend? It's really about how you feel, just remember that if you tell her the truth then end up getting with her you'll lose your friend for sure and possibly make a new enemy. But don't ignore your feelings if they do exist.

**PrairieDawg** · 03-04-2005, 01:03 AM

nothing good comes from getting in the middle of these things. getting involved usually makes things worse.

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by ottomaddox

Herpes is not a death sentence. More people than you think have it and don't even know they have it.
otto

This excerpt I cut from www.herpes.com:

Oral herpes, an infection caused by the herpes simplex virus, is estimated to be present in 50 to 80 percent of the American adult population. 20 percent, over 50 million people, are infected with genital herpes, also caused by the herpes simplex virus, and the majority of these cases may be unaware they even have it. Studies show that more than 500,000 Americans are diagnosed with genital herpes each year, and the largest increase is occurring in young teens.
There is no cure for herpes to date. Efforts to develop a herpes vaccine by biotechnology companies are ongoing. Until an effective herpes vaccine or cure for HSV infection is found, the prevailing approach to treatment continues to be suppressive antiviral therapy.

Yea you are right, I did not mean it in that way , I was just trying to prove a point. I am sorry, I also did not mean to offend anybody with the virus, I am truly sorry, that came out the wrong way

**LeanMeOut** · 03-04-2005, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by PrairieDawg

nothing good comes from getting in the middle of these things. getting involved usually makes things worse.

I agree but it sounds to me like he likes this chick

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:06 AM

Originally Posted by LeanMeOut

So do you have a thing for this chick? Who do you feel closer too at the moment? This chick or your friend? It's really about how you feel, just remember that if you tell her the truth then end up getting with her you'll lose your friend for sure and possibly make a new enemy. But don't ignore your feelings if they do exist.

No I wont get with this chick later, even if I do tell her...I am actually in love with someone else who I have dated since the 8th grade off and on...we just are not together right now b/c we are in school far apart and feel we should just keep in touch for now. It's just that my morals are telling me to tell this girl...she is HONESTLY one of my friends

**LeanMeOut** · 03-04-2005, 01:10 AM

Originally Posted by spound

No I wont get with this chick later, even if I do tell her...I am actually in love with someone else who I have dated since the 8th grade off and on...we just are not together right now b/c we are in school far apart and feel we should just keep in touch for now. It's just that my morals are telling me to tell this girl...she is HONESTLY one of my friends

Then tell her

It might cause you to lose a friendship with your buddy, but sometimes friends aren't "real friends" if you know what I mean.

**taiboxa** · 03-04-2005, 01:13 AM

Just LET THEM GO .. its not you u dont have herpies.. DO YOU?! if not let nature run its course..

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:14 AM

She is just begging me to tell her and it is getting hard not to, she is like crying and ****
I mean me and him have fun togehter when we hang out, but I dont feel like I could completely trust him anymore just bc I have seen everything he does

**taiboxa** · 03-04-2005, 01:15 AM

fine so does that chick have herpies now?! .. if she does eliminate both of them .. and you exactly wat i mean

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:17 AM

Originally Posted by LeanMeOut

Then tell her

It might cause you to lose a friendship with your buddy, but sometimes friends aren't "real friends" if you know what I mean.

Dude, thank you for the advice, but please stop doing the smile with a wink b/c I honestly have no feelings for this girl other than friends...honestly. I dont know why I would lie about something like that, especially if you see how I am from my above posts

**taiboxa** · 03-04-2005, 01:18 AM

dood she has HERPIES .. of course you dont have any other feelings..

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:20 AM

Originally Posted by taiboxa

dood she has HERPIES .. of course you dont have any other feelings..

Is this a sarcastic comment??

**LeanMeOut** · 03-04-2005, 01:21 AM

Originally Posted by spound

Dude, thank you for the advice, but please stop doing the smile with a wink b/c I honestly have no feelings for this girl other than friends...honestly. I dont know why I would lie about something like that, especially if you see how I am from my above posts

LOL the wink didn't mean anything about you having feelings

**taiboxa** · 03-04-2005, 01:23 AM

no foo it wasnt sarcastic i was stating the obvoius *not being rude here, bear bare..beer.. bare.. with me* but when someone has and STD its almost impossible to wanna be more than friends with them NO MATTER who THEY are

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by taiboxa

no foo it wasnt sarcastic i was stating the obvoius *not being rude here, bear bare..beer.. bare.. with me* but when someone has and STD its almost impossible to wanna be more than friends with them NO MATTER who THEY are

Ok, now was it really necessary to call me a fool? Honestly? I asked you before attacking you and now that you explained I am completely fine with th ecomment, please refrain from the name calling, I am not trying to argue with anyone here. Thanks for the advice though

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:28 AM

Originally Posted by LeanMeOut

LOL the wink didn't mean anything about you having feelings

Ok, my bad bro....sorry bout that LOL

**J-Dogg** · 03-04-2005, 08:18 AM

So you have 2 friends basicly, they are “together” and one is keeping lies from the other? The lie is how many people the guy has slept with?

Its not a huge issue, she is just confused but she deserves to know if he “loves” her.

I’d go to your friend first, just tell him flat out…”just tell her the truth man, don’t you think she deserves it?” Explain to him she ask him about it, and you don’t want to lie to her about it. He should be expected then to do the favor to you (his friend) and come clean.

If he were cheating on her, hiding it from her and she was suspsecting it and trying to find out. Then, I’d say defiantly tell her. If you have to pick out of 2 friends, its better to have the one who is not the selfish one.

**cpt steele** · 03-04-2005, 08:27 AM

I will sound callus... Its none of your d@mn buisness... Not to sound like an ass but its none of your concern either way bro.

**Maraxus** · 03-04-2005, 08:31 AM

Dont do it bro. Its none of your business.

**Commando_Barbi** · 03-04-2005, 09:57 AM

I would tell her to listen to her intincts with reference to him. I wouldn't get in the middle of it either.

**spound** · 03-04-2005, 01:56 PM

Well unfortunately, they have both made it my business, but I really want no part of it. I thought about it, adn I dont want to get caught up in it and don't want to possibly add any avoidable stresses to my life, I am not gonna say anything. Thanks for the advice guys.

**Maraxus** · 03-04-2005, 01:57 PM

Dont do it!

**HeavyHitter** · 03-04-2005, 03:37 PM

Hell no!! thats your boy bro! Unless your close with the girl, who gives a $hit! Dont ever stab your boy in the back for a girl.... c'mon man!

good luck tho!!

**Commando_Barbi** · 03-04-2005, 03:44 PM

Been there before. Trust me. NO good can come from YOU jumpin in this...only grief!

Originally Posted by spound

Well unfortunately, they have both made it my business, but I really want no part of it. I thought about it, adn I dont want to get caught up in it and don't want to possibly add any avoidable stresses to my life, I am not gonna say anything. Thanks for the advice guys.

**jkour211** · 03-04-2005, 04:26 PM

yeah man stop hatin and start congradulating thats your boy man + u dont want anything to do with her cuz she got the herps and you dont want mr.bumpy coming to pay you a visit do you..

**Commando_Barbi** · 03-04-2005, 05:05 PM

Mr Bumpy?

**spound** · 03-05-2005, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by HeavyHitter

Hell no!! thats your boy bro! Unless your close with the girl, who gives a $hit! Dont ever stab your boy in the back for a girl.... c'mon man!

good luck tho!!

That's the thing, I dont really consider him one of my "boys" anymore, he has done a couple things to betray me recently, but I am still not gonna do it anyways.

**KGBnine** · 03-05-2005, 02:29 PM

Tell her, then beat his ass for passing on an STD.

**OSTIE** · 03-05-2005, 02:44 PM

Man, I used to get caught up in the middle of that sh!t all the time.... all my boys gf's kinda liked me and for some reason used to come to me for advice about what their bfs were doin... Then my guys would want me to lie for them, which sucked since I was friends with the girls...

Finally, I just snapped and told the guys to stop having me cover up for them cause they are to much of pussies to do it by themselves.... AND, I told the girls im not their little comfort blanket that they can come cry to and expect me reveal all my bestfriends(their bfs) secrets, because that definately was NOT gonna happen.

Both sides were pissed at me at first, but they got over it and the best part was that neither side ever thought about coming to me again to get me mixed up in their fcked up relationships