PMS jokes

[manijak]

I know I'm gonna get it from the ladies (and my g/f) but I can't resist it..

What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?
With the terrorist u can negotiate.....

Why do they call it PMS?
Mad Cows Disease was already taken.


How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. ONE!!!

Why did God made woman have PMS?
man didn't have a natural predator...

Even the bible documents one of probably first known cases of PMS::
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem"
amen

[manijak]

Element name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

[manijak]

Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.