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Thread: Drunk Driving

  1. #1
    symatech's Avatar
    symatech is offline Retired Moderator
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    Talking Drunk Driving

    got this in an e-mail and thought I'd share it with you.
    -------------------------------------------------------


    Only a Texan could think of this .... from the County where drunk
    driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera,
    Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
    intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
    parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
    After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
    vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. -- -- He
    sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
    and drove off.

    Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
    fine, dry summer night) -- -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a
    couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. --
    He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
    remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron
    vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the
    parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started
    up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the
    man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the
    breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having
    consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the
    officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police
    station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

    "I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated
    decoy."

  2. #2
    31uniform's Avatar
    31uniform is offline Associate Member
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    Thats a good idea!

  3. #3
    hung-solo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by symatech
    got this in an e-mail and thought I'd share it with you.
    -------------------------------------------------------


    Only a Texan could think of this .... from the County where drunk
    driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera,
    Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
    intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
    parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
    After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
    vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. -- -- He
    sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
    and drove off.

    Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
    fine, dry summer night) -- -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a
    couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. --
    He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
    remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron
    vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the
    parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started
    up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the
    man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the
    breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having
    consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the
    officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police
    station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

    "I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated
    decoy."

    thats ****ing awesome!! hahahahaha

  4. #4
    IronFreakX's Avatar
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    i didnt get but those f**** cops r gonna pay for it

  5. #5
    Explosive215's Avatar
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    Thats awesome, wonder if it would really work...

  6. #6
    cjp85's Avatar
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    That's good.

  7. #7
    kloter1's Avatar
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    i heard that story when i had my dui class. its a true story from what my teacher said. thats hilarious. i wanna try that.

  8. #8
    punchrf's Avatar
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    i watched someone almost back into a passing cop car last night leaving the bar at closing time. it was classic. i bet they got a dui.

  9. #9
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
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    Too funny!!!
    1. Once a cheat always a cheat!
    2. YES, SHE can get pregnant the first time!
    3. NO, PULLING out IS NOT a RELIABLE method of Birth Control. DAMMMMIT..... Wrap that shyte UP!!

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

    For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

    What the mind can conceive....the body will achieve!

  10. #10
    BARLOW is offline Senior Member
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    i heard that a long time ago, funny stuff though.

  11. #11
    PrairieDawg's Avatar
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    I dont think thats a true story. I read that as a joke in a maxim magazine years ago. Good stuff thou

  12. #12
    PaRiS2005 is offline Female Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by symatech
    got this in an e-mail and thought I'd share it with you.
    -------------------------------------------------------


    Only a Texan could think of this .... from the County where drunk
    driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

    Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera,
    Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so
    intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the
    parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
    After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
    vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. -- -- He
    sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar
    and drove off.

    Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
    fine, dry summer night) -- -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a
    couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. --
    He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
    remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron
    vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the
    parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

    The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started
    up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the
    man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the
    breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having
    consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the
    officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police
    station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

    "I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated
    decoy."

    I resemble that remark!!!!!!!!! The TEXAN part!! Although, I never drive DRUNK, it is NOT considered a SPORT here!!!!!!! It's illegal, and just plain STUPID!!!!!

  13. #13
    PrairieDawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaRiS2005
    I resemble that remark!!!!!!!!!
    LOL. resemble? I think you mean resent!

  14. #14
    PaRiS2005 is offline Female Member
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    You know what I meant...

  15. #15
    symatech's Avatar
    symatech is offline Retired Moderator
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    i dunno paris Ive known quite a few of us texans who drive drunk like it was a sport. irresponsible? yes. dangerous? definately. does it happen all to often? of course. what part of tx you in? i used to live in austin and every fri and sat night around 2-330am tons of accidents from drunk drivers leaving bars and clubs. bad news

  16. #16
    taiboxa's Avatar
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    i guess i better work on my stumbling and wobbling if im gonna be the DD next weekened

  17. #17
    PaRiS2005 is offline Female Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by symatech
    i dunno paris Ive known quite a few of us texans who drive drunk like it was a sport. irresponsible? yes. dangerous? definately. does it happen all to often? of course. what part of tx you in? i used to live in austin and every fri and sat night around 2-330am tons of accidents from drunk drivers leaving bars and clubs. bad news
    One of my childhood friend was killed by his OWN drunk driving not to long ago. It's a terrible thing, and should never happen. People need to be responsible when they drink and drive. It's like the ad says, "drink, drive, and go to jail." Sadly not many people get that far...they either kill themselves or someone else.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kloter1
    i heard that story when i had my dui class. its a true story from what my teacher said. thats hilarious. i wanna try that.
    i heard the same one

  19. #19
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    I was very close to losing my girlfriend a couple days ago to a drunk driver who ran a stop light. My girl was approaching the light and for some unknown reason(maybe God) decided to slow down. Well, the truck who wwas in the right lane next to her, about 20 ft ahead gets hit by a guy in a Honda Accord going through the light at 60 mph. The car spun the truck 360 degrees and hit it so hard that the tool box MOUNTED to the back of the cab flew out and down the street probably the length of almost a football field. My girl got out of her car and approached the truck who was struck and the man was hunched over screaming bloody murder. Then she tried asking the guy in the Honda if he was ok, and would you like to know what his reply was?? " F*ck you, you stupid white b*tch!!!" I swear if I was there I would have drug his ass out of his car and beat the piss out of him. The drunk guy got out of his car unhurt and as the paramedics called the hospital to notify them of the other guy they said "Possible broken nexk and spinal cord." The poor guy will probably never be able to walk again if he lives. A week before this my girlfriends cousin was hit head on in his tiny economy car by a Suburban going 70mph, the driver drunk. It will be at least 5 months before he gets out of the hospital and he'll never walk again the doctor said. I'm so fortunate that my girl decided to slow her car down as the idiot ran that red light, I'd probably lose it if anything happened to her. Drinking and driving is just plain stupid.

  20. #20
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    Thats funny. Here is another one.

    A man leaves the local bar and gets pulled over for swerving all over the road. The police pull him over and begin adminstering the sobriety tests. As the obviously drunk man starts stumbling down the line, a terrible accident happens across the street.

    The police officer leaves the man and tends to the accident. The drunk leaves.

    3 hours later, the drunk man gets a pound on his door and it is the police officer. The officer ask the man how he got home. The drunk said he drove his car. The officer requests him to open his garage so he can prove he drove home.

    The drunk man opens his garage and inside is the officer's patol car.

    The cop allegidly swithched vehicles and left.

  21. #21
    PrairieDawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djgoodspeed
    Thats funny. Here is another one.

    A man leaves the local bar and gets pulled over for swerving all over the road. The police pull him over and begin adminstering the sobriety tests. As the obviously drunk man starts stumbling down the line, a terrible accident happens across the street.

    The police officer leaves the man and tends to the accident. The drunk leaves.

    3 hours later, the drunk man gets a pound on his door and it is the police officer. The officer ask the man how he got home. The drunk said he drove his car. The officer requests him to open his garage so he can prove he drove home.

    The drunk man opens his garage and inside is the officer's patol car.

    The cop allegidly swithched vehicles and left.
    yea I heard that one too. the cop drove the guy's car to his house and was too embarassed so he just traded vehicles. not sure if that one's true either.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrairieDawg
    yea I heard that one too. the cop drove the guy's car to his house and was too embarassed so he just traded vehicles. not sure if that one's true either.
    dunno if its real either, but funny

  23. #23
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    There was a guy a few years back who refused to take a breathalyzer, so they threw him in the back seat of the cop car and were going to bring him in. Supposedly, while in the back seat of the car this guy eats his own underwear and somehow the cotton from his underwear absorbed the alcohol in his body and once to the station he beats the breathalyzer. True story

  24. #24
    GREENMACHINE's Avatar
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    Sound like a case of perverting the course of justice.

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