Lifting Weights = Cheating
What's with all this pussy weightlifting that strength and physique competitors do nowadays? It's flippin' cheating if you ask me.
Back in the good ole days, strongmen competed using nothing but their God-given muscles and their desire to win. With the right equipment, anyone could be Ronnie Coleman, but who could equal "Big" John Andersson, the Minnesota strongman who could dumbell clean 250 lbs, and gained all of his muscle the old-fashioned way- by jerking off.
Or what about George "Big" Benson, the Hercules from down south, who back pressed over 3,000 lbs? His strength came from drinkin' beer and fighten' in bars- not from sitting in some gym all day with hi-tech weights.
Or who could forget "Big" Tom Szylsky... the man who, using nothing but his natural strength, flipped over a dump truck during the race riots of 1891 in New York.
And let us not forget the granddaddy of them all, Ron "Big" Gundersohn, the man from Illinios who could pick up a Model T overhead and throw it across a par 5!
These men didn't lift weights like a little bitch to improve their athletic performance, they earned it the old-fashioned way- by working manual labor, drinkin', fartin', fighten', and eatin' steak.
