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  1. #1
    CrossroadS is offline Registered User
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    Am I reading into things too far...?

    Alright. About two years ago, I dated a chick for almost three years. I thought everything was going fine. Every part of our relationship was healthy. About three months before the relationship ended, our sex life slowly died out. We both worked and were in school and were very busy, but always made time for that. Anyways, I came home from vacation visiting family out of state to find her porking my roommate and best friend in my living room. It was very traumatic, and I don't care how big of a man any of you are, it hurts to see that. Long story short, she had been sleeping with him since about a month before we stopped having sex. After a year or so of the single life, I met my current girl. She is a beautiful woman. She has a daughter I love to death. The first few months we dated, I was still partying/living the single life and wasn't too serious. I realized I cared for this chick a good bit and we started getting more involved. I chose not to sleep with her on many occasions simply because I cared for her, and wanted to make sure it wasn't just sex. I could find a piece of A$$ if I really wanted it, but I wanted this relationship to go somewhere. After a few really deep conversations, I realized we both agreed and felt the same way about each other. Well, needless to say, the sex was awesome for the next 4 or 5 months. I mean every chance we got. And I rarely ever had to propose the idea, she usually beat me to the punch. Well, about two months ago, we stopped having sex. I have been patient, and don't pester her about it. I let her know when I am in the mood, which is all the time, but I don't push things. after a few weeks, I couldn't take the anxiety any more and asked if she isn't attracted to me anymore, or if anything else was wrong. Keep in mind every other part of our relationship is great. She is in the process of moving, and said that she has work and moving into her new place and her daughter all keeping her to busy and sex is the last thing on her mind. She reassured me she was still attracted to me and that once she moved and things settled down, it would be different. I am a very understanding guy, and took her word. She has been out for a few weeks now, and I have bent over backwards helping her move. We have been getting along really well. I have been fortunate to spend almost everyday with her, whereas before we wouldn't spend more than two or three days a week with each other. But she still doesn't want to have sex. Last night She had a late night at work, and her daughter was at her dad's. I skipped my workout and headed straight to the barber shop last night for a haircut. I spent 80 bucks preparing a fancy dinner, and bought an expensive bottle of wine. She came home, and was surprised and really excited. We had an excellent dinner and the wine was great. As we headed to bed, she popped in a movie, and basically stayed on her side of the bed. Normally she is on top of me. We stayed awake for a while, and not much was said. I didn't do all of this expecting sex, I just thought we could spend some quality alone time, and get thigns rolling in the bedroom again. We fell asleep. This morning, I woke up and everything seemed fine. I was on my way to work when it hit me that this is the exact same way the first chick acted while she was banging my roommate. I can't help but have the suspcision after being hurt like that. I trust her, and we spend alot of time together so I don't think she is cheating on me. So ladies, do you think I am thinking to hard? This is extremely stressful. I want to talk to her abobut it but don't want to bring up the past. I just want to know what is going on. Sorry about the long post, thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    vettewreck is offline Banned
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    tough to say man. She is probably cheating on you b/c when GIRLS do it they tend to pull away and feel guilty.

  3. #3
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    needmorestrength is offline Anabolic Member
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    Hmm that is a toughy.. I was about to give advice, then realized I dont know **** about this lol

  4. #4
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    soontoberipped is offline Associate Member
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    I say you might be reading into it too far. Give it a little more time and see if things start changing. If not, just be honest with her and pin her down and tell her how you're feeling. You just don't want to jump the gun too quick.

  5. #5
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    BigJames is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with soontobe...you may be jumping gun here due to past experiences. I would sit her down and talk to her...maybe even tell her about your previous relationships...oh, but probably skip the part about the sex with the last girlfriend being great as that will likely not go over well.

  6. #6
    CrossroadS is offline Registered User
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    Thanks guys. I trust her, I have never been this close to someone, even the girl before. We work together, and are with each other most of rest of the day, and most nights. If she is cheating, she is good at it. I don't think that is it, I just can't fight the feelings that come up when I think about the past. I am hoping some ladies can shed some light on why she would act this way.

  7. #7
    needmorestrength's Avatar
    needmorestrength is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by soontoberipped
    I say you might be reading into it too far. Give it a little more time and see if things start changing. If not, just be honest with her and pin her down and tell her how you're feeling. You just don't want to jump the gun too quick.
    this is what I was going to say

  8. #8
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    Angelis is offline Banned
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    IMO she probably has allot on her mind and isnt thinking about sex at the moment... just wait till everything calms down and see what happens. If she still isnt in to it then sit her down and talk to her bcs something is wrong, but woman tend to "withhold" when they are worried or busy

  9. #9
    CrossroadS is offline Registered User
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    That is my biggest fear is that something else is wrong. I like sex, but I can deal without it if she has more important things on her mind. I can understand that, I just don't know what to make of it as she seems perfectly normal. Nothing is different other than sex. Every other part of the relationship seems great. I guess I'll give it some time and see what happens.

  10. #10
    soontoberipped's Avatar
    soontoberipped is offline Associate Member
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    If you're with her all day and night...that might have something to do with it too. My ex and I spent all our time together, and sometimes...even when I was having sex with her...I just felt like I needed some breathing room. Maybe you should not spent quite as much time together as it will make the time together a little better. JMO. I don't know if it makes any sense.

  11. #11
    CrossroadS is offline Registered User
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    Well we don't live together, and we are about to start spending more time apart as we are done moving her. I don't stay with her when her daughter is at home, I was just there everyday moving stuff and getting her house liveable. I only spend about 10 or 12 nights a month there, and maybe a few days a week to hang out. Doesn't seem like the cause as it was before we actually started spending this much time together...maybe though.

  12. #12
    soontoberipped's Avatar
    soontoberipped is offline Associate Member
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    That's a tough one then bro. Like I said, just don't be too hasty in your judgement and it might end up working out. You will look back upon this and laugh at how worried you made yourself.

  13. #13
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    decadbal is offline Banned
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    just beat her a few min, tell her u will stop if she confesses... if she doesnt.. then you owe her big

  14. #14
    darmadoc is offline Member
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    If you are as close to her as you say, you should be able to talk about anything. I think you should tell her your concerns and tell her why you have them. She needs to know about what happened to you before-'tho not in great detail. Still, it will help her to understand how you are now feeling. Whether you trust her or not, if you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, you are going to get angry and resentful. That will destroy the relationship for sure.

  15. #15
    BARLOW is offline Senior Member
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    ya tell her wut ur feeling.... its the only way......

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