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  1. #1
    tonytone's Avatar
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    ........abortion

    So I have been dating this girl for a few months now....She is 28 (I'm 21) and she already has 2 kids, 8 and 5 years old. She recently told me that she was going to get an IUD (Intra Uterine Device, a type of birth control) put in. She said that she had an appt coming up. She goes to it, says that she had bloodwork, got examined, and needed to go back the next day. I say OK, seems normal, and didn't think anything of it. The day of her follow up I go meet her and she tells me that she didn't get the IUD, but got something else......OK, so my first thought is she got the shot, or had decided to just get her tubes tied (she told me she had thought about having her tubes tied). But she eventually tells me that she got none of those, and that she had........................an abortion. I was speechless. Said that she had been 8 weeks in. She said that she didn't know if she should tell me or not. Now normally I'm full of intelligent things to say, but I could say nothing. I told her I didn't think any less of her, and I was glad that she finally thought that she could tell me. But I'm stuck on this. I don't really know how to feel. Am I sad? not really. I'm not angry. Abortion is such an easy issue to debate, but when it comes down to your own life, it's very difficult. I never considered myself pro-choice or pro-life, and this has not changed anything. Maybe I'm a little relieved that the weight of the decision was not put on my shoulders. Maybe I would have liked to know. There's really no way to tell. I guess the only way to describe how I feel is empty and helpless. It's so easy to say that if i got a girl pregnant that I would want her to have an abortion, but if i was really faced with the decision, all the "what ifs" go out the window. I have a feeling this will be weighing on my mind for a while. Should I look at her the same way now? Any thoughts/comments are appreciated.

  2. #2
    soontoberipped's Avatar
    soontoberipped is offline Associate Member
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    Ultimately, it is her body. But if it were me, I would have wanted to know. If she kept something like that from me I'd be pissed. She might have also kept it from you so you couldn't prevent her from doing it. It's a tough situation you're in bro. You really like this girl or is it just a fling?

  3. #3
    tonytone's Avatar
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    I really like her.....that's why its hard for me. i usually don't get along well with most girls, they get on my nerves, but she is different......

  4. #4
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    She should have keept quiet if she didnt tell you in the first place. That was pretty insensitive of her. But she was probly set on having it and didnt want you to try and change her mind. Im guessing she's feeling like she's done with being pregnant since she already has two, but then why not tie her tubes?
    My girl uses a IUD (a spiral). Its a great thing that your girl really should consider getting. Abortions are good for gettin rid of unwanted pregnancys but it isnt a birth control tool.

    Dont let this get you down, it's done, nothing can change it. Continue with your life.

  5. #5
    BARLOW is offline Senior Member
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    ya... 1 abortion is fine in my books.... or if a girl is raped and gets pregnant, thats fine...... but using it as birthcontrol..... thats wrong.

  6. #6
    BigMike J's Avatar
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    she shold have told you pure and simple. That's how i see it anyway. I mean it is her body and if she's going to get one then not even you could stop her.

  7. #7
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Wrap yo sh*t!!

    If she has 2 kids already, she's fertile like Cali soil.

    Who's the brownie in the avatar?

    ~SC~

  8. #8
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    I'm going to assume that the kid was yours. So she terminated a pregnancy that would have yielded your child. I guess it is her body and ultimately her choice. But it would have been your child. Wouldn't you think you would have some say in it. Even if that say was 1% of the decision. How serious are you with this girl? I don't think I would EVER trust her if she terminated a pregnancy that you were responsible for without even telling you about it. I think that's pretty messed up. I think I would be more confused as to why she waited until after to tell you about it then I would be mad.

  9. #9
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Quote Originally Posted by JdJuicer
    I'm going to assume that the kid was yours.
    That's another thing, how do you know it was your's??

    ~SC~

  10. #10
    BigMike J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JdJuicer
    I'm going to assume that the kid was yours. So she terminated a pregnancy that would have yielded your child. I guess it is her body and ultimately her choice. But it would have been your child. Wouldn't you think you would have some say in it. Even if that say was 1% of the decision. How serious are you with this girl? I don't think I would EVER trust her if she terminated a pregnancy that you were responsible for without even telling you about it. I think that's pretty messed up. I think I would be more confused as to why she waited until after to tell you about it then I would be mad.
    That's pretty much how i would feel..

  11. #11
    BARLOW is offline Senior Member
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    ya..... was it yours....... is that why she waited to tell you? hmmm

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by tonytone36
    I really like her.....that's why its hard for me. i usually don't get along well with most girls, they get on my nerves, but she is different......
    Bro, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But this is the way I see it. To abort a fetus b/c you don't want to have another child, is basically murdering your baby so you don't have to take care of it. She killed your unborn child without even telling you about it. Sorry to be so cynical. But that is down right under-handed any way you slice it. You're thinking about being serious with this girl? If she could do this, what else is she capable of??? Just my advice, I wouldn't get too attached to her. There's plenty of fish in the sea!!

  13. #13
    tonytone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Wrap yo sh*t!!

    If she has 2 kids already, she's fertile like Cali soil.

    Who's the brownie in the avatar?

    ~SC~

    Melanie, hostess of the TV show "The Roof"....

  14. #14
    tonytone's Avatar
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    she said it was mine

  15. #15
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Quote Originally Posted by tonytone36
    Melanie, hostess of the TV show "The Roof"....

    She's hot!

    ~SC~

  16. #16
    tonytone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JdJuicer
    There's plenty of fish in the sea!!

    that's what some of my buddies have been saying.....girls usually come and go in my life, and i could really care less....this is hard because she is different........or i THOUGHT she was different

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    She's hot!

    ~SC~
    man, to be honest, that picture does no justice.....she is perfect in my opinion. her legs/ass/chest are soooooooo juicy, and he lips , and who could resist a woman like that talking dirty in spanish??

  18. #18
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Are there any more pics of her????

    I did a GOOGLE but came up w/nada.

    ~SC~

  19. #19
    inheritmylife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Wrap yo sh*t!!

    If she has 2 kids already, she's fertile like Cali soil.

    Who's the brownie in the avatar?

    ~SC~

    Brownie?

    LMAO!

  20. #20
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Quote Originally Posted by inheritmylife
    Brownie?

    LMAO!

    Yeah, that's my slang for "extremely do-able Latina woman".



    ~SC~

  21. #21
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Quote Originally Posted by inheritmylife
    Brownie?

    LMAO!

    You've a brownie of your own in YOUR avatar!

    HITCH this!!



    ~SC~

  22. #22
    inheritmylife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Yeah, that's my slang for "extremely do-able Latina woman".



    ~SC~

    Now I've a new nickname for my lady-friend.

    Her brothers won't like it but I put up with being called great-white. LOL.

  23. #23
    Commando_Barbi's Avatar
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    It sounds to me like she made the right decision for HER. At this point I'm guessing you aren't supporting her or the two other kids and you are probably a bit young to be getting into that anyway. Should she have consulted you.....yes because that was your child too.....but you yourself stated you are sort of relieved that she didn't dump the decision on you. If she's a good woman....and it sounds like she made the best choice for the children she already has and maybe even YOU.....I wouldn't hold it against her.

    I would sit down with her and have a heart to heart and find out what her future birth control plans are and......tell her that if this happens again......you WANT to be involved. Tell her you would have supported her decision but feel you deserve a voice. Maybe in the past, with the other children....she dealt with a man that wasn't capable of dealing with those issues, etc.

    Don't run from a good thing.

    Just my two cents!

    Quote Originally Posted by tonytone36
    So I have been dating this girl for a few months now....She is 28 (I'm 21) and she already has 2 kids, 8 and 5 years old. She recently told me that she was going to get an IUD (Intra Uterine Device, a type of birth control) put in. She said that she had an appt coming up. She goes to it, says that she had bloodwork, got examined, and needed to go back the next day. I say OK, seems normal, and didn't think anything of it. The day of her follow up I go meet her and she tells me that she didn't get the IUD, but got something else......OK, so my first thought is she got the shot, or had decided to just get her tubes tied (she told me she had thought about having her tubes tied). But she eventually tells me that she got none of those, and that she had........................an abortion. I was speechless. Said that she had been 8 weeks in. She said that she didn't know if she should tell me or not. Now normally I'm full of intelligent things to say, but I could say nothing. I told her I didn't think any less of her, and I was glad that she finally thought that she could tell me. But I'm stuck on this. I don't really know how to feel. Am I sad? not really. I'm not angry. Abortion is such an easy issue to debate, but when it comes down to your own life, it's very difficult. I never considered myself pro-choice or pro-life, and this has not changed anything. Maybe I'm a little relieved that the weight of the decision was not put on my shoulders. Maybe I would have liked to know. There's really no way to tell. I guess the only way to describe how I feel is empty and helpless. It's so easy to say that if i got a girl pregnant that I would want her to have an abortion, but if i was really faced with the decision, all the "what ifs" go out the window. I have a feeling this will be weighing on my mind for a while. Should I look at her the same way now? Any thoughts/comments are appreciated.

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