How Was My Morning?i'm Glad You Asked!!!
You know i was a little hungry this morning before work so i say to myself,
"what can nourish a young growing bodybuilder at this early hour?" i
thought to myself for a second and as Moses parted the sea...so was the tinton
falls sky parted by the Golden Arches.Yes, Mcdonalds or as it's known in the
culturally fascinating town of Neptune, NJ...GhettoDonalds.
Innocently, i pull up to their ever so effecient drive thru to temp my fate in
the ordering process. little to no problems. Amazing. Could it be that all ghetto
people have been bused out of Neptune and the GhettoDonalds like some reverse
1950's movement. Well no, but my fine drivethru technician had decided in some
leap of faith to put away the bong and do his job efficiently.Fantatastic!!
My stomach smiled as i had done it right with this fine choice in midmorning
dining.
As i approached my final destination, the ever so inviting drivethru window,
poor stomach felt a little uneasy. Could it be memories of past experinces with
"the window"?
"Stomach, be still", i told my famished friend."This time all is
well and you will be given your just feeding...."
"WHAT DID YOU ORDER?!!!", exclaimed the afrocentric man at the
window.
"Dear god, it's starting again!!", i thought to myself. Stomach was
now trembling.
"DO YOU WANT COFFEE?!!"
"Well i did say that when you took my order..."
"WORD, LET ME HOOK UP THE BIG BOY WITH A 20 OUNCE!!!"
Now, i appreciate the compliment on the hardworking physique, but isn't that
alot of marijuana?? After careful thought i realized he was speaking of the
coffee.You never know at the GhettoDonalds...
"BIG DOGZ HAVIN' HOT CAKES THIS MORNING!!!"
Now i have heard the term "hot cakes" before. i mean it was in a 70's
porn with brillo bush so now i'm scared. Not the thought you want to have in
your mind as you attempt to eat your morning meal.
i just try to smile and laugh to keep from getting shot.
"IMA HIT YOU OFF WIT EXTRA HOTCAKES.CHILL FOR A BIT!!!"
Ok can we stop using the term "hot cakes"?
This pillar of society leaves the window and disappears.
Now i have seen Boyz In The Hood. This is were the black man lures you in with
comedy.Now i'm scared.
Car Jacking are apparently up in this fine Garden State. I watch the news. Do i
just go? Do i fight off my predator? Stomach is now turning...
"LEZ ME GIVE YOU JUSTICE BROTHA!!"
Oh F*ck here we go! I'm gonna die at the GhettoDonalds Drivethru!!!
As i watch this gangbanging african american (even facing death i'm polite)put
his hand behind his back i dive for the passenger side door.Nothing. I sat
still. I hear that's what you do in the jungle when those crazy gorillas try to
eat you. I saw Gorillas In The Mist. i'm not Sigourney Weaver, but i'm not
stupid either. It's quiet. Am i dead?
"**** NIGGA TAKE YA FOOD!!IT'S DA HOLIDAZE( no idea?).JUSTICE BROTHA.JUSTICE!!"
As i looked up i find friendly gold front teeth smiling back at me.
"Um, uh, thank you?"
Apparently, justice was served this morning. albeit, in the form of extra
"hot cakes" and serving with a big gold smile.
