Don't Talk To Strangers...

**BigJames** · 05-10-2005, 04:51 PM

So, I was at 7-11 with my 4 year old daughter on the weekend and after we got out of the car she jumped up onto the store sidewalk while I pulled my 18 month old out of the car seat. I really try to keep my eyes on my kids all the time when we are out, but I guess I looked away for like half a second. I look back and a woman is offering my daughter candy (5 cent piece of double bubble). She was not meaning any harm, she was just being nice and sharing her candy, but I am really upest about this...

We try to teach our children to not talk to strangers, do not take candy from strangers, etc. I personnally feel that the appropriate thing for a good citizen to do is...NEVER offer candy to kid he/she does not know. What was this woman thinking?!?!? It pissed me off.

I explained the "rules" to my daughter again, but irresponsible actions by people really upset me.

Am I right to be pissed?

What do you think?

**BOUNCER** · 05-10-2005, 05:00 PM

I see both sides of your argument. Have you thought your daughter that women can be ''baddies'' too?, or just limited it to ''strangers''. Its natural that the child would see the lady as safe to approach, and I'm sure the lady is well aware of the dangers of children talking to strangers.

I'm sure the lady never even thought for a second her actions were going to be seen as threatening to you or the child. My wife would do that same, but at the same time knows I as a man couldn't. I bet 99% of women would be the same. Don't be too hard on the lady, your child or yourself.

**KINGKONG** · 05-10-2005, 05:02 PM

I would say your overeacting a little bro..When I was a kid everywhere I went I got offered candy and never thought anything suspect of it...Halloween every year, think of all the kids eating anaymous candy from all over the place..Very rarely do you ever hear of kids having problems...The lady was just being nice and I don't think she was acting irresponsible in anyway..The way you raise your kids is your business though so I would be more angry at your kid she knows your rules..The lady has no clue about YOUR particular family rules...just my 2 cents
Later,

**ct_brad** · 05-10-2005, 05:35 PM

I agree with you James, my daughter is also 4 and i think I would feel the same way. True that others don't know my family rules, but the whole never take candy from a stranger thing is pretty well known. A while back when I was at the super market my daughter said hi to an older women in the same aisle as we were. The woman then asked me if she could offer my daughter a piece of gum. I thought that was the right way to do it. Ask the parents first.

**BigJames** · 05-10-2005, 05:37 PM

Yeah...you are right and I see your point KINGKONG. I guess I was looking at it like, if I know that bank robbers wear ski masks to rob banks...I would not walk into a bank wearing a ski mask. Does that make sense? To me, everyone hears that you should not take candy from strangers, so why would a good person, as a stranger to a child, offer that child candy? I know she meant no harm and I did not say anything derogatory to the woman...I just took the candy from daughter and had a talk with her...then I checked the candy to make sure it was OK...more for my daughter's benefit than any real thought that something was wrong with it. I guess I am guily of loving my kids and being, no doubt, over protective a little.

**BigJames** · 05-10-2005, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by ct_brad

I agree with you James, my daughter is also 4 and i think I would feel the same way. True that others don't know my family rules, but the whole never take candy from a stranger thing is pretty well known. A while back when I was at the super market my daughter said hi to an older women in the same aisle as we were. The woman then asked me if she could offer my daughter a piece of gum. I thought that was the right way to do it. Ask the parents first.

YES...I absolutely agree...you ask the parents first! That is how a responsible person should do things IMO. Family rules aside, I am talking about something I think is commone sense. Family rules to me are bedtimes and chores and stuff, I would never be upset about another parent from school of something asking if my daughter could stay up late because there is no way she could have known what her bedtime is...if that makes sense...

**VIXI** · 05-10-2005, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by ct_brad

I agree with you James, my daughter is also 4 and i think I would feel the same way. True that others don't know my family rules, but the whole never take candy from a stranger thing is pretty well known. A while back when I was at the super market my daughter said hi to an older women in the same aisle as we were. The woman then asked me if she could offer my daughter a piece of gum. I thought that was the right way to do it. Ask the parents first.

I agree that's the best way to go about it...I also never talk to a child unless I acknowledge the parents first or know the parents are right there and see that I'm going to say hi to their child...you can't be too careful sometimes...

**KINGKONG** · 05-10-2005, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by BigJames

Yeah...you are right and I see your point KINGKONG. I guess I was looking at it like, if I know that bank robbers wear ski masks to rob banks...I would not walk into a bank wearing a ski mask. Does that make sense? To me, everyone hears that you should not take candy from strangers, so why would a good person, as a stranger to a child, offer that child candy? I know she meant no harm and I did not say anything derogatory to the woman...I just took the candy from daughter and had a talk with her...then I checked the candy to make sure it was OK...more for my daughter's benefit than any real thought that something was wrong with it. I guess I am guily of loving my kids and being, no doubt, over protective a little.

Your just a protective parent..Nothing wrong with that bro...We need more fathers like you around...

**BigJames** · 05-10-2005, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by KINGKONG

Your just a protective parent..Nothing wrong with that bro...We need more fathers like you around...

I never would have thought I would be, but having kids changes you bro. My motivation to train used to be just to get big, now it is to get big enough to scare any guys that come lookin for my daugher in 10+ years.

**KINGKONG** · 05-10-2005, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by BigJames

I never would have thought I would be, but having kids changes you bro. My motivation to train used to be just to get big, now it is to get big enough to scare any guys that come lookin for my daugher in 10+ years.

LOL I really hope my first kid is not a daughter..All my friends always mess with me and tell me how Iam going to have a daughter to pay me back for all the horrible things and way Ive treated girls over the years..Please god don't let me have a daughter and then have her date someone like me.....
Kinda makes me feel like changing my ways...........Naaaaaaaaa

**BigJames** · 05-10-2005, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by KINGKONG

LOL I really hope my first kid is not a daughter..All my friends always mess with me and tell me how Iam going to have a daughter to pay me back for all the horrible things and way Ive treated girls over the years..Please god don't let me have a daughter and then have her date someone like me.....
Kinda makes me feel like changing my ways...........Naaaaaaaaa

That is the problem...she will bring home a guy and I will now exactly what he wants and what he is thinking...that is why the big pipes come out during the "get her home by 10pm speech" and if the guy gives me attitude and snap his neck at the front door and then console my daughter for getting stood-up...

**KINGKONG** · 05-10-2005, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by BigJames

That is the problem...she will bring home a guy and I will now exactly what he wants and what he is thinking...that is why the big pipes come out during the "get her home by 10pm speech" and if the guy gives me attitude and snap his neck at the front door and then console my daughter for getting stood-up...

I don't blame you..Hopefully by the time Iam having a kid they can splice some dna and insure my kid is a boy...If they could turn the myostatin inhibhiter off in him as well that would be fine

**SwoleCat** · 05-10-2005, 08:18 PM

As the Father of a 6 year old boy myself, people who do that are indeed very wrong, and should honor the "obvious rules" that parents lay down for children. The old "don't talk to strangers" and "don't take candy from a stranger", are phrases that have been said for eternity.

I'd have been really pissed.

~SC~

Originally Posted by BigJames

So, I was at 7-11 with my 4 year old daughter on the weekend and after we got out of the car she jumped up onto the store sidewalk while I pulled my 18 month old out of the car seat. I really try to keep my eyes on my kids all the time when we are out, but I guess I looked away for like half a second. I look back and a woman is offering my daughter candy (5 cent piece of double bubble). She was not meaning any harm, she was just being nice and sharing her candy, but I am really upest about this...

We try to teach our children to not talk to strangers, do not take candy from strangers, etc. I personnally feel that the appropriate thing for a good citizen to do is...NEVER offer candy to kid he/she does not know. What was this woman thinking?!?!? It pissed me off.

I explained the "rules" to my daughter again, but irresponsible actions by people really upset me.

Am I right to be pissed?

What do you think?

**SwoleCat** · 05-10-2005, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by BigJames

then I checked the candy to make sure it was OK..

You didn't actually go and GIVE the candy to her, did you?

I'd have tossed it and bought her the exact same one out of the store.

For safety yes, but more-so for principal.

~SC~

**UrbanLegend** · 05-10-2005, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

You didn't actually go and GIVE the candy to her, did you?

I'd have tossed it and bought her the exact same one out of the store.

For safety yes, but more-so for principal.

~SC~

My approach is a bit different.

I would have popped the candy in my mouth, and then made them watch me eat it. Then I would have walked away.

For safety yes, but again, more-so for principal.

**Jantzen4k** · 05-10-2005, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by UrbanLegend

My approach is a bit different.

I would have popped the candy in my mouth, and then made them watch me eat it. Then I would have walked away.

For safety yes, but again, more-so for principal.

what would that prove????

**UrbanLegend** · 05-10-2005, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by Jantzen4k

what would that prove????

That I got some candy by depriving someone else of it. That would be enough for me. Again, its the principal.

**wascaptain5214** · 05-11-2005, 04:38 AM

i agree with bigjames, you werent being over protective.the lady should have asked first. at work, we get field trips of younger kids stoping by all the time. i give them a good run down on saftey, and how they are my eyes and ears on the street. tell them about strangers and for them to use there gut feelings. and if they are lost or get snatch-up , start yelling HELP STRANGER and run to the nearest person, to do all they can not to get in any car or leave with a stranger. talking to your kids and setting examples are good things. and just wait until shes a little party girl in college, like my 20 yo daughter is. it will make u crazy

**needmorestrength** · 05-11-2005, 06:58 AM

I can understand you, in today's society you just never know.

**BigJames** · 05-11-2005, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

You didn't actually go and GIVE the candy to her, did you?

I'd have tossed it and bought her the exact same one out of the store.

For safety yes, but more-so for principal.

~SC~

No I did not give it to her...I got her a replacement from the store. I checked it so set an example for her that candy from strangers can be dangerous....

Man, I am glad that you guys agree with me about this being upsetting...I thought I was over reacting.

**SwoleCat** · 05-11-2005, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by UrbanLegend

My approach is a bit different.

I would have popped the candy in my mouth, and then made them watch me eat it. Then I would have walked away.

For safety yes, but again, more-so for principal.

WHAT???

~SC~

**SwoleCat** · 05-11-2005, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by UrbanLegend

That I got some candy by depriving someone else of it. That would be enough for me. Again, its the principal.

So, you deprive your daughter of candy, and that proves what???

~SC~

**SwoleCat** · 05-11-2005, 09:29 AM

Originally Posted by BigJames

...I thought I was over reacting.

Not in the least bit.

Those of us who are parents, and responsible/sensible ones, would all react in the same manner bro. Keep in mind some of the responses you may get that say you did over-react are from those who have no offspring.

~SC~

**needmorestrength** · 05-11-2005, 09:34 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

Not in the least bit.

Those of us who are parents, and responsible/sensible ones, would all react in the same manner bro. Keep in mind some of the responses you may get that say you did over-react are from those who have no offspring.

~SC~

I don't think anyone can over act when it comes to the saftey of their children. Always better to be safe then sorry!! After my brother lost his child, I am anal when I am watching my sisters children and so is she!

**BigJames** · 05-11-2005, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by SwoleCat

Not in the least bit.

Those of us who are parents, and responsible/sensible ones, would all react in the same manner bro. Keep in mind some of the responses you may get that say you did over-react are from those who have no offspring.

~SC~

That is what I thought. Having children changes you...you become much more wary of "strangers" and anyone approaching your children can make you nervous...

**tempbrit** · 05-11-2005, 09:37 AM

This is really tough. I have a VERY Outgoing 4 year old daughter who absolutely talks to everyone she sees. Fortunately for her, she inherited most of her looks from her mother and has this charm that people find irresistable (i know, my daughter and all, but people go crazy over her...more so than my other daughter).

While in a grocery store, if I step down the aisle (past the bread...of course) to grab some Natty Peanut Butter, I will turn back and better than 50% of the time she is striking up a conversation with a complete stranger.

I have tried to preach to her that she should never talk to strangers, but she does not understand. I also feel that if I tell her not to speak with strangers, to some degree it will negatively impact her personality.

I have basically tried to instill in her that she can talk with strangers as long as either myself, her mother or some other adult she knows well is nearby.

This is sooo tough.

I am paranoid about people giving my kids candy and food as well. At Halloween, we go out trick or treating and when we get back, I throw away all of the candy they received and give them some that I have purchased.

Being a parent these days is not fun.

**BigJames** · 05-11-2005, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by tempbrit

Being a parent these days is not fun.

I wouldn't say it is not fun, I would say it is not easy. My daughter has her mother's looks as well (thank god) and gets a lot of attention, but she is highly sensative which makes her usually very wary and shy around strangers...her cuteness does not compliment her shy personality well because everyone wants to take to her and give her attention, but she ends up hiding behind my legs and sometimes crying...I am surprised she even approached the vehicle wityh the candy giver, but then again...that is why people use candy to get to kids I guess...

**alphaman** · 05-11-2005, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by KINGKONG

I would say your overeacting a little bro..When I was a kid everywhere I went I got offered candy and never thought anything suspect of it...Halloween every year, think of all the kids eating anaymous candy from all over the place..Very rarely do you ever hear of kids having problems...The lady was just being nice and I don't think she was acting irresponsible in anyway..The way you raise your kids is your business though so I would be more angry at your kid she knows your rules..The lady has no clue about YOUR particular family rules...just my 2 cents
Later,

I doubt this guy has any children.

I would be upset. That lady should know not to encourage children to take candy from strangers. I would have reemed her(the lady) a new asss in front of my child and scared them both so they both knew the seriousness of the situation.

**KINGKONG** · 05-11-2005, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by alphaman

I doubt this guy has any children.

I would be upset. That lady should know not to encourage children to take candy from strangers. I would have reemed her(the lady) a new asss in front of my child and scared them both so they both knew the seriousness of the situation.

Your right I dont..So it is hard for me to see why you guys are getting so angry over this..I would never yell at some nice lady tryng to give my kid candy..I don't make it a practice to yell at nice old ladies..Giving candy to a kid is something my dear mom or grandma would do..There from the country and would not think anything of gushing over some cute little kid and giving him/her a peice of candy..I don't see the big deal..If someone would raise there voice in ANYWAY to my family then I would have to put them down quickly and rudely..If anything I would calmly explain that I don't allow my children to take candy from strangers but thanks anyway..I would have a talk with my kid about it and make sure it's not a habit they get into..That would be that...BTW yelling at some lady in front of your children is a much better idea than being polite and explaining to them the reason's why they can't take candy from strangers

....

**KINGKONG** · 05-11-2005, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by alphaman

I doubt this guy has any children.

I would be upset. That lady should know not to encourage children to take candy from strangers. I would have reemed her(the lady) a new asss in front of my child and scared them both so they both knew the seriousness of the situation.

BTW if you would have read any of my post I say that I have no children...
Did you forget your reading glasses

**HeavyHitter** · 05-11-2005, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by BigJames

So, I was at 7-11 with my 4 year old daughter on the weekend and after we got out of the car she jumped up onto the store sidewalk while I pulled my 18 month old out of the car seat. I really try to keep my eyes on my kids all the time when we are out, but I guess I looked away for like half a second. I look back and a woman is offering my daughter candy (5 cent piece of double bubble). She was not meaning any harm, she was just being nice and sharing her candy, but I am really upest about this...

We try to teach our children to not talk to strangers, do not take candy from strangers, etc. I personnally feel that the appropriate thing for a good citizen to do is...NEVER offer candy to kid he/she does not know. What was this woman thinking?!?!? It pissed me off.

I explained the "rules" to my daughter again, but irresponsible actions by people really upset me.

Am I right to be pissed?

What do you think?

great thread bro. And i absolutely agree! Adults should know better to offer other peoples children (they dont know) candy etc. Unless they have permission or some kind of acknowledgement that the parent is aware of there actions, adults should not be doing that $hit!! ESPECIALLY in times like today!!

**BigJames** · 05-11-2005, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by HeavyHitter

great thread bro. And i absolutely agree! Adults should know better to offer other peoples children (they dont know) candy etc. Unless they have permission or some kind of acknowledgement that the parent is aware of there actions, adults should not be doing that $hit!! ESPECIALLY in times like today!!

Thanks Heavy.

**needmorestrength** · 05-11-2005, 11:12 AM

You know what really annoyed me.. When I would be walking through the mall with my sis n bro in law, and strangers try and come up and touch my niece in the stroller.. I yelled at quite a few people. Older people I would tell them to keep their hands to themselves, politly though. My sis n bro in law would kinda look at me as if to say "uhh thanx but that's our job" lol.. I always beat them to the punch as it were.. Im going to be a paranoid parent

**alphaman** · 05-11-2005, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by KINGKONG

BTW if you would have read any of my post I say that I have no children...
Did you forget your reading glasses

I read your first post and automatically responded. Why don't you wait until you have children of your own b4 you put your .02 in? That way you could speak from experience rather than pure speculation. Raising children is serious business in today's world with all the sick fuks out there. If I were in that situation, I think my son's comprehension of the importance of not talking to or taking up any sort of offering from a stranger is much more important than some idiotass lady"s feelings, and the lady also needs to know that it's not appropriate to encourage small children to take offerings from strangers. I think you should relay this to your counttry folk as well!

**alphaman** · 05-11-2005, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by needmorestrength

You know what really annoyed me.. When I would be walking through the mall with my sis n bro in law, and strangers try and come up and touch my niece in the stroller.. I yelled at quite a few people. Older people I would tell them to keep their hands to themselves, politly though. My sis n bro in law would kinda look at me as if to say "uhh thanx but that's our job" lol.. I always beat them to the punch as it were.. Im going to be a paranoid parent

My son was like a real doll baby when he was an infant and dumbass people were always compelled to touch his face w/ their dirtyass hands. I have embarrassed quit a few people over this. It was really hard when he was first born and we lived in an apt building @ the beach, which was filled w/ geriatrics, and I had a hard time w/ hurting their feelings, but I still spoke up like they were running their key down the side of my brand new car! I am a paranoid parent and there is nothing wrong w/ that.

**tempbrit** · 05-11-2005, 11:58 AM

BigJames,

You are absolutely correct and my comment was not clear. I was trying to say exactly whay you said....raising kids today is not easy.

Honestly, you need to do whatever it takes to keep your kid safe. If people can't understand that with what is going on today, they have the problem.

**BigJames** · 05-11-2005, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by tempbrit

BigJames,

You are absolutely correct and my comment was not clear. I was trying to say exactly whay you said....raising kids today is not easy.

Honestly, you need to do whatever it takes to keep your kid safe. If people can't understand that with what is going on today, they have the problem.

I agree tempbrit.

**needmorestrength** · 05-11-2005, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by alphaman

My son was like a real doll baby when he was an infant and dumbass people were always compelled to touch his face w/ their dirtyass hands. I have embarrassed quit a few people over this. It was really hard when he was first born and we lived in an apt building @ the beach, which was filled w/ geriatrics, and I had a hard time w/ hurting their feelings, but I still spoke up like they were running their key down the side of my brand new car! I am a paranoid parent and there is nothing wrong w/ that.

I hear ya bro

**BigJames** · 05-11-2005, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by alphaman

My son was like a real doll baby when he was an infant and dumbass people were always compelled to touch his face w/ their dirtyass hands. I have embarrassed quit a few people over this. It was really hard when he was first born and we lived in an apt building @ the beach, which was filled w/ geriatrics, and I had a hard time w/ hurting their feelings, but I still spoke up like they were running their key down the side of my brand new car! I am a paranoid parent and there is nothing wrong w/ that.

No doubt eh? People are always touching at my kids....my wife will not stand for it though...she puts people in their place for that kind of activity.

**PaRiS2005** · 05-11-2005, 12:16 PM

Great thread BigJames. You can never be careful these days. And I think you had every right to be concerned/pissed. When it comes to the concern of children, you can NEVER overreact IMO. I believe it is your job as a parent to go with your gut on all things, and do what is best for the child. Which you were doing. You never know what other people's agendas are, even if it is, just a piece of candy.