Thread: the nice guys always finish last
06-26-2005, 11:46 PM #1
the nice guys always finish last
well basically i have a shit load of venting to do. i asked my girl last night what would she do if she had to save either me or her x and she wouldn't answer the question. she says she still loves her x and always will just that she isn't 'in love' with him. and as of right now she isn't sure how she feels about me. she says she wants me in her life blah blah and that a year or two down the road she wants this and that blah blah and honestly i feel like every thing she says isn't genuine anymore. Im not sure if she actually cares nor appreciates what i have sacraficed and done for her. she has became a cold person since her break up with her x a year ago and most of hte time i think she doesn't give a ****. i am not sure what to do... i mean i'm falling for this girl and a part of me is saying why when i should be getting so much better treatment in return. but then when we're not fighting (which is often, she treats me like her king and caters to my every need) its fuct. like every relationship it has its moments and its a bumpy ride. i dunno what to do. but i think i should start paying less attention to her and to try and put some distance b/w us. b/c u never know what u've lost until its gone and i think she may need a wake up call?
06-26-2005, 11:51 PM #2
Bro, that question was the kind of question the girls asks... not a man. "Would you get me a beer" or "would ya blow me?" would have been more appropriate
Seriously tho, you shoulda banged the other girl at the hotel...
Just joking... I can't help you for real. Try what you said, put some distance between you two and see how it goes.
06-26-2005, 11:52 PM #3Originally Posted by ReX357
06-26-2005, 11:57 PM #4Originally Posted by ReX357
I would give that a try, chicks seem to always snap back into it if they really care after you shine them for a while and realize they could loose what they got..
06-26-2005, 11:58 PM #5
if she doesn't sadly im going to have to force myself ot cut my loses. otherwise it will just hurt more in the long run....its a two way street and feelings shouldn't be one sided
06-26-2005, 11:59 PM #6
you damn right!Originally Posted by Full Intensity
06-27-2005, 12:15 AM #7
you need to tell her to get her shit togheter !!!!
or maybee you 2 need some time off !!
06-27-2005, 02:14 AM #8Originally Posted by Full Intensity
06-27-2005, 02:33 AM #9Originally Posted by IronFreakX
06-27-2005, 02:38 AM #10Originally Posted by Full Intensity
you can't change who your girl is, no one can.. if she doesn't give a shit about what you have done for y'alls relationship, or about how she makes you upset now, she won't care later.. then again she was honest when you asked her a question about her X.. most girls would have just fed you what you wanted to hear..
hmm? i think you are thinking in the right direction if your smart enough to say "i should leave her now, before it gets to hard to leave",
then again an honest girl is so hard to find.. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuk i just confused my self, sorry
06-27-2005, 02:55 AM #11
Its always a dangerous game asking questions that you dont really want the answer to..
You know your girl better than we do bud, do you really think giving her the cold shoulder will make her warm to you more? I dont think us guys will ever figure women out!
Good luck matey
06-27-2005, 02:57 AM #12
was i wrong to ask her a quesiton like that. if i was asked i would answer that right away she on the other hand avoided that answer. and that really bothers me.
06-27-2005, 03:14 AM #13Originally Posted by Full Intensity
06-27-2005, 04:01 AM #14Originally Posted by Full Intensity
06-27-2005, 06:45 AM #15Originally Posted by Benches505
06-27-2005, 07:34 AM #16
I try to make it a rule to not ask nancy boy questions like that. (no offense bro) I mean really, the past is the past, but f she is hung up on someone or still in love or loves someone or however it is she put it... she has an issue.
I would turn around and walk away from her ass stone cold. As I just said in another similar thread; When everyone and everything around you is gone, all you will have left is your self respect and your dignity. where is YOURS going to be??
06-27-2005, 07:48 AM #17Originally Posted by Full Intensity
06-27-2005, 07:56 AM #18
Kind of unusual that she answered it honestly. Prob would have been easier for her to lie.
06-27-2005, 09:21 AM #19
3 years she was with this guy, from the age of 17. Even though she's not with him now and might very well not want to be with him, she's still not over him. I'll bet she's confused having these deep rooted feelings for him and having feelings develop for you at the same time. I wouldn't go for a girl not over her ex. I'd drop her.
06-27-2005, 09:27 AM #20
dude, sounds like you just caught her at a bad time in her life. give her some time to get cleared up (i.e. forget about her ex).
06-27-2005, 10:10 AM #21
FI - Def give it some space....she may realize that she is about to lose you and wake up......or she may be too damaged to be capable of loving and you may be better off in the long run .. walking.
"Never make someone a priority....that is only willing to make you an option!"
Good luck ...
Originally Posted by Full Intensity
06-27-2005, 10:25 AM #22
i'll give her her space
06-27-2005, 10:26 AM #23
My Toronto brother, all I'm gonna say is that Karma exists. What goes around comes around. If you're a good bro, you'll get your reward soon enough. Everything happens for a reason. If you don't believe that, you're going to be consumed by misery and hate. Don't let anyone do that to you.
06-27-2005, 10:28 AM #24
06-27-2005, 10:30 AM #25
cut your losses
bro, i had a similar problem. if the girl is selfish and worries mostly about hereself, do yourself a favor and get out while you can. delaying it only makes it harder. if you're a nice guy like me, you'll try harder to make her happy by giving more of yourself and she'll let you. this will make you bitter when things do end.
i dated a girl who never made trips to see me. i always had to visit her down in chicago. she would come home to see her friends/family and i was expected to drive to her parents house to see her. she wouldn't even take the time to drive the 45 minutes to my place. she always had an excuse. to top it off, she never hung out with my friends and started to try to make me decide between them and her.
so, bottom line is..if you are a nice guy and are selfless and giving, you need and deserve to find a girl with the same personality. its so much better when you have someone who gives back when you make sacrafices for them. even if the girl is hot or good in bed etc (mine was), in the long run, its about more than that.
so, hit it a couple more times, distance yourself and move on.
06-27-2005, 10:50 AM #26Originally Posted by Full Intensity
I don't know you or hER.. but the question i have to ask is why this girl wants to keep you around. I think she prolly just needs somebody in her life. She says maybe in a year or 2..it should not take that fawking long.. this chick don't know what she wants. Her whole idea behind the 1-2 years remark was to see if you grow on her.. i don't know about you.. but i would not want to have to grow on any woman before she could say she loves me but is not in love with me. CUT YOUR LOSSES NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN WITHOUT IT HURTING AS MUCH AS IT COULD.
06-27-2005, 12:49 PM #27
Ya, generally those are bad questions to ask the girl.
06-27-2005, 01:06 PM #28Originally Posted by Full Intensity
yah see ... read that over. Thats the problem right there. You're afraid of her, your trying to please her, and in turn that is pushing her away. I'm willing to bet if she's mad you do shit to cheer her up. WRONG (dont reward for bad behaviour, you'll become a door mat and create a monster)
She doesn't feel the NEED to please you anymore because she doesn't have to, she sits around and pines over her x, because he is doing EXACTLY what your not, he is not there for her in every way,everyday, he's making her think about him, wonder about what he's up to, what he's doin? she has NO CHOICE but to wonder, ... thats where she is confused, because thats an attractive trait to women, to be independent. To be self serving, confident seeming, women LOVE THAT, they may say they don't but they do, they are programmed to look for that from long ago.
meanwhile your there, your saying eh, you wanna drink? you wanna do this, do that? and she's thinkin, "yah, he's (you) nice, he's great actually, but she ain't likin you to the degree of the x because your there, and there always I'm assuming and thats just not attractive, thats not challenging, you dont give her anytime to wonder about you, to miss you, to put you as a man in that "realm" of a strong, independent, confident man that she sees as a challenge and wants to make happy and wants to make him like her.
do that, and you just may come outta this alive, dont and you can kiss your ass and her respect for you goodbye, let alone the respect you'll have for yourself if you breakup for what a PUTZ you've been.
(thats the only way I can say it)
06-27-2005, 01:07 PM #29Originally Posted by GQSuperman
listen to me man... I'm fukin bitter, but I did ALOT of reading about this and run the show now.
06-27-2005, 05:58 PM #30Originally Posted by Dally
thats the best piece of advice i've read and you know what i know this girl isnt gettin rid of me. i know how much i mean to her, shit when im mad she gets all worried and says 'baby please dont be mad at me...promise your not mad' so me being mad drives her nuts. she has brought me into every single aspect of her life, and i mean every aspect. we see eachother everyday which i think is the problem. we need more balance some time apart. right b4 i read ur post i was thinking im not gonna be like some guys and call and ge at her every need. im gonna make her think she'll lose me thx bro!
07-04-2005, 10:16 PM #31New Member
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I just think, if all this sh*t is happening right now, then it's never going to work. Look for someone that gives back what you give. If you have to play all kinds of BS games to turn her around, then it's not worth it in my opinion. The very first date with my wife, I knew I was going to marry her. And she told me later, she felt the same way. This woman loves me with all her heart, and has done so much for me in our 9 years of marriage. That's the kind of woman you need to marry, bro. The kind you have no problems with from the very start.
07-04-2005, 10:26 PM #32Originally Posted by Dally
Seriously, take head to his advice. The man is wise beyond his years!
The trick to keeping a relationship going is the endless amount of devious schemes you can play to trick her (such as sleeping with her sister or best friend)
07-04-2005, 11:31 PM #33
You are a man and man should have dignity and honour leave her ASAP
07-05-2005, 04:06 AM #34Originally Posted by Full Intensity
07-05-2005, 06:18 AM #35Anabolic Member
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I usually try to make them cry. thats puts them in check..
07-05-2005, 07:21 AM #36Originally Posted by Deezuhl
What do you do, take your pants off?
07-05-2005, 08:23 AM #37Originally Posted by Full Intensity
No flame intended bro, but confidence is sexy, neediness IS NOT.
07-05-2005, 10:27 AM #38Anabolic Member
Originally Posted by roidattack
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07-07-2005, 12:00 AM #39Member
Originally Posted by Full Intensity
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Im having the same problems with my girl at the moment and im "giving her her space" BUt i can tell shes trying to chase me so thats a good sign.
Last edited by skribbble; 07-07-2005 at 12:21 AM.
07-07-2005, 12:41 AM #40Originally Posted by Full Intensity
Just don't forget, in the world of love, u should be second to no one.
I hope this helps you out. treat yourself with some dignity and keep the relationship on the casual side now, instead of the intense side...
PS. here is the situation I am in...I'll keep it brief...
Just got a great paying job. i am making over $1,000 a week.
I offered to pay off my G/F's line of credit, cause I feel we are getting serious. I told her this over a beer.
10 miniutes later, she refused to buy me a pizza slice for $2.77 and told me that she wasn't going to spend all of her money on me.
When I got home, I cut my bank card in half to make sure I didn't wimp out later. Yep, it seems like nice guys finish last.
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